First time poster, long time lurker on the boards. Due 6/22 with our first son, I'm 32 weeks and have been on strict bed rest due to cervical incompetence and funneling that was found when I leaked a bunch of amniotic fluid all over my couch at the beginning of my 29th week and ended up in the hospital... No dehydration and my fluid built back up, so they believe I had a hole in my membranes that healed itself with rest in the hospital and released me after a negative fibronectin test. I still got antibiotics and two steroid injections for baby's lungs just in case and have since had to do vaginal progesterone suppositories twice a day. I've had miserable cramping (and anxiety because of it) my entire pregnancy and some guilt because as much as I want to be a mother and as long as the road was to get here to, I have hated pregnancy and it's been a lot harder than I ever imagined. I've always worked and am hating just laying around, especially because I was SO active the first 29 weeks and didn't have nearly as much discomfort as I've experienced since just laying around for the last three weeks. My amazing husband is working almost 70 hours a week to support us while I can't work and deal with the horrendous NYS short term disability folks to try to get paid. I'm just miserable, sore, lonely, sad, and anxious laying around. I have books, magazines, Pinterest, some adult coloring books, of course Netflix, and my two cats and dog to keep me company during the day, but we live far out from my family and close friends so I spend all day alone in bed and it's been awful. Our nursery isn't even done yet and we have no idea when/if/how we'll get the finishing touches completed and of course I'm up to pee every half hour walking right by and being reminded of that, too... Everyone keeps preaching to enjoy my alone time, get my rest now, yadda yadda, nothing helpful or comforting at all and it sucks to think to myself "yep, I know you're so right, this is just great what was I thinking!!" I feel so whiny and pitiful sharing this, but I can't complain to my husband when he's working so hard and I'm already stressed/worried enough and don't want to complain to non-pregnant friends who don't understand the anxiety of hoping my baby is okay and will stay put for at least four more weeks. Ugh.
Re: Bed Rest Woes
Hang in there - we will make it!!!as much as it seems like every day stretches on, it actually flies by when you look back. It's crazy to think I've been in the hospital over 5 weeks. Have the doctors given you a goal delivery week? It really helped my moral and spirits once I had a firm goal set.
Maybe see if you can do some online reading about moving past guilt (if that interests you). Maybe some mental and emotional strengthening would keep your mind engaged and feeling a bit more confident in the face of ignoramuses while you wait this out. But that's just my personality talking, so ignore me if you hate the idea.
Sounds like you're doing all the right things and have a great husband. Good work, keep it up! And keep us posted - we are here as needed
Keep your spirits up, you're doing great!
Of course I would do anything for this little one to make sure she is healthy, but that does not mean it is not very hard to go through all this. As if pregnancy in general isn't hard enough already without all the complications...