Ugh what to do

Parenturownway · February 2015

First of all, I DO personally think this is tacky, and DO think it is gift grabby. This is long. I am asking for honest opinions, so I don't care if it's a crappy response or a helpful one. In my area, everyone has showers for multiple children. I know someone with their 6th boy and having their 6th shower (and planning their own *puke*). So having a shower now is not frowned upon here. With my last pregnancy, my BF had planned a shower, and I was excited. However, I declined because the passing of my near and dear grandmother (mostly mother) and couldn't get over the grief. I didn't have a shower with my first pregnancy. This time around (since I am having another girl) I hadn't expected anything at all cause I have everything I need. Other than necessities. With a husband in the hospital, a 2 year old with a skin issue and doctors appointments, and her postponed birthday party to plan, I was happy to know I am not a FTM having to make a list of invites and having to attend my shower. However, my aunt has been begging me to let her throw a small shower. I litterally have everything so I said no. She won't take no for an answer. She wants a *diaper raffle* and a name tag donation thing she got from the games list on the bump. Although I have been to many showers with a diaper raffle, and found it okay, I am not fond of telling guests to buy a certain thing for me. I haven't made a registry, and don't plan to unless I see a special "create a registry and get a $20 target gift card." Should I throw my hands up and tell her whatever, go for it? Thanks!!

bbiutmcph · February 2015

Nope still decline that all is tackier than just a second shower which is still tacky.

VOR · February 2015

HOnestly, I'd accept her offer for a SMALL, immediate family only shower and tell her that you don't want a raffle. You'd prefer perhaps just a small afternoon get together w/ the focus on spending time together. Clearly people will bring gifts, but just stress that this isn't what you want the focus to be. Even suggest that she just call it a get together vs a shower.

neverblushed · February 2015

I am generally against second showers under almost all circumstances. However, as VOR suggested above, you could have a small ladies' get together to enjoy each others' company before the new baby arrives. People who would get you a gift whether you have a shower or not will take this opportunity to do so.

When I was pg with #2, I had a friend who grew up in an area of the country where it's common to have a shower for every pregnancy. She was dismayed that I said "no" to a second shower. But really, it made no sense since I had tons of baby stuff. Even though I was having a boy the second time, I really didn't need clothes because we were team green the first time, and most of the baby stuff was neutral.

What my 4 college friends did was the right way to handle it. We always had a girls night out every month or six weeks. At the one before my DS was born, they surprised me! No one other than the 5 of us were there, but when I showed up at my friend's apartment, the whole place was decorated with blue baby decorations. My friends had each bought a special "boy" item or outfit. One friend brought me a gigantic bag of hand-me-downs from her son instead of buying something new. The new baby was celebrated, people who would get the baby a gift anyway did so, and I didn't have to appear gift grabby to the wider circle of friends.

Parenturownway · February 2015

Thanks! I have a big close family, and nothing but little girls. I told her last night that I didn't want a formal shower AT ALL. She said she reserved the room in our bowling alley for family only (with the exception of one really close family friend). She stated to everyone to not bring gifts, but everyone has hand me downs for me from their girls. We will make a family bowling/pool night out of it, which is perfectly fine since we do that twice a year anyways. And it will be nice to get the family together before LO is born. I'm actually excited to shoot some pool, and many of my aunts are going to have a few drinks at the bar in the alley. I get to watch their craziness, which will be a stress relief. I just hope she is telling the truth because I do not want to show up there with a big surprise shower and lots of gifts. I'm mostly independent and don't like asking for anything anyways, let alone have someone take their time to plan a shower for my second baby girl. That's really absurd to me.

karlimonster · February 2015

I like the compromise you have come up with your aunt. In my opinion it's about getting the family together and celebrating, not the gifts. It sounds you are going to get that. Enjoy!

NagaWater · February 2015

I personally would do a registry with things you'll need to replenish/buy new. Diapers, wipes, bottle nipples(if you use them), etc. for the completion coupon. That's the only reason we have a registry.

neverblushed · February 2015

Sounds like a good plan! Enjoy!

astreetx3 · February 2015

I agree with the ladies above, id decline the shower idea but since your situation is a little different than most, maybe suggest a group of your closest family and girlfriends and enjoy a nice brunch together. Gifts may still be involved but anybody attending wont feel obligated to buy you anything

Edit : i just read your compromise and thats a great idea, no pressure! Enjoy your day

gypsea1109 · March 2015

Why not have a Sprinkle! Just make a small registry and still celebrate with family and friends! I see no problem with multiple showers...it's not like I will hang on to every little thing after my baby girl is born...we have a small house and lots of nice consignment shops nearby! Not to mention I am an avid Ebay user...I sell things when I no longer need them!

If we had another baby, we would absolutely have a Sprinkle if it is another girl and another Shower if it's a boy!

Ugh what to do

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