Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Breastfeeding Support and Information
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This sounds like a good pumping schedule.
Does LO get approximately 1oz for every hour you're away, and nurse frequently when you're home at night?
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Ok. That's not too much more, so it shouldn't affect your supply. And weekend EBFing should make up for any difference. Just see how the rest of today's pumping goes. Hopefully this is a fluke!
Keep in mind too that pump output alone is not a good indicator of supply. So pumping less doesn't necessarily mean your supply has dropped. You might need to change the membrane on your pump!
So at some point am I going to stop dropping all this weight? I drop a lb a week still. I'm now approaching a weight I haven't been since high school and it's freaking me out. I eat all the shit and I cannot maintain. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I'm worried this is going to start to get unhealthy for me. At some point is this going to slow down?
Are you otherwise healthy? Energy levels good, hair and nails not dry and brittle, skin not dry? Do you struggle to maintain a healthy weight when not pregnant/breastfeeding?
ETA: There's never anything wrong with talking to your doctor if you're concerned about your health or weight postpartum. If you notice heat intolerance, fast heartbeat, or shaky hands (like when writing your signature), you could ask your doctor about the possibility that you're experiencing postpartum thyroiditis (hyperthyroidism), which can also cause significant wejght loss.
Does she have a doula? A doula might be able to help make sure her wishes are honored in the hospital. She could also contact a LLL Leader for help in creating her birth and postpartum breastfeeding plan.
https://www.amazon.com/Earth-Mama-Angel-Baby-Milkmaid/dp/B0032AM8JG
You can drink hot tea with honey and lemon, use a humidifier, run a hot shower, use a neti pot. There are lots of safe non-medicinal options for congestion. Even eucalyptus essential oil can be used (safely and responsibly) to combat congestion. Good luck!!
Your supply is likely fine, though. Make sure you're maximizing your pump output by doing breast massage prior to pumping and compressions while you pump. Look at pictures of baby, etc.
Check this out:
https://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastfeeding/MaxProduction.html
https://theboobgeek.com/blog/why-you-wont-hear-me-suggest-galactogogues.html
I'm heading to the lactation clinic tomorrow, but I probably just need to relax.
Supplementing when baby is actively working to increase your supply has the opposite effect. It satisfies baby without telling your breasts to make more milk, so your supply remains the same OR decreases!! Limiting supplementing and calling a LLL Leader for help if you suspect baby isn't getting enough milk are highly recommended.
Are these what you were searching for?
https://www.llli.org/docs/0000000000000001WAB/WAB_Tear_sheet_Toolkit/22_bfabreastfedbaby.pdf
https://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/feeding-tools/bottle-feeding/
https://sdbfc.com/blog/2013/10/9/top-10-ways-to-stop-caregivers-from-overfeeding-your-breastf.html
ETA: Pumped 3.5 ounces during my last session! Phew. That makes my total for the day 10 ounces. I can live with that!