-----------SIGGIE WARNING ---------
This is
@Manada, I accidently posted under Healz' account from her computer, and forgot that she has a different siggie than me with our newer beta numbers in it. My apologies for both the mistake in posting under a wrong name, as well as initially posting without the warning.... My apologies....
space for people who need it to back out of this thread.....
again I'm really sorry.....
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I'm looking for WWYDs in this case -- I'm weighing the pros/cons for myself on this one, but haven't decided if it's for me, or if I should just risk it and see if my reservations are unfounded, or if I should take more time.
We lost our girls on June 18 - for those of you who can't see my siggie. So we are coming up on 7 months post-loss. In the name of trying out something besides support groups and individual therapy, I found a therapeutic writing group in my city and have been through the steps to sign up for it, but I'm not sure it's for me yet.... or that I feel comfortable going.
Here's the details -- I'm interested to get your ideas:
- The group is run by an MD who does psychotherapy and some life-coaching type stuff on the side. I looked into her an she is affiliated with a couple of organizations I have been interested in, so I trust she comes from a decent place.
- The cost of the group is about $140 for 8 sessions. Attending it will also cost me the equivalent of 4 vacation days from work.
The group format is: 1/3 of the time Writing about some sort of random prompt (ie. "bagels", or "mittens", or "belief"), then a short break for guided meditation, then 2/3 of the time to "discuss" and share what you've written, and give feedback on how others' writing resonates with you.
Now here is my For and Concerns list so far:
Pro:
- I like to write, and writing often helps me to clarify my thoughts and feelings.
- I like the idea of doing a non-traditional form of therapy.
Concerns:
- I'm not sure I will like the group format. The sharing and discussing part makes me nervous because the group is going to be made up of people with their own experiences (as all groups are), but no one else will have experienced baby loss, and that makes me nervous because I have come to regard perinatal loss groups to be generally safe spaces and I am worried both about the triggers in a group (ie. people talking about their kids or pregnancies), as well as if they may react to my writing/experience by saying things that are just WRONG (like most of the people I meet do).
- I feel like I would have wanted a more focused plan for writing prompts like "This week we write about xyz, and next week we will write about abc..." - I'm not sure why, but that lack of structure feels like a concern to me in terms of meaningfulness.
- The more I think about it, the more the group format worries me in terms of I'm not sure I have the emotional resources to do the "sharing and receiving feedback" part of the circle - both in terms of being vulnerable to other people's thoughts from what I share, and also in terms of being able to be present and support others' in the group.
There isn't really the option to "try it out for a session or two" for this group. The facilitator has made it pretty clear that she is looking for people who will commit to the group so that they can have continuity (understandable).
WWYD in this case? Give it a go, or bow out?
Re: WWYD - Writing Therapy group with people who haven't experienced baby loss.....
We're at similar timeframes out from our losses, and I personally don't feel like I would be able to do this, at least not yet. I like the idea of it but the sharing and feedback to a group of people likely lacking in loss experience when my writing would presumably be primarily influenced by loss just feels very uncomfortable to me. I won't dismiss the fact that some discomfort can actually be a very good thing to help with healing and growth but I just don't think I would have it in me yet.
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
I am still heavily on the fence about this one. I'm going to really spend some time thinking about it tonight, but it doesn't really help that my manager at work has just started requesting a bunch of staff meetings during the time the group meets. Argh.....
queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,
Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.
Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>
7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013. Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.
My Love: (the amazing @Healz413)
Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012. Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.
Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos. 1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved. BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255. Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!
We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014. Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies. We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.