Would you have a stepMIL that you & your husband don't really know in the delivery room while your husband's first born is being born? My FIL's new wife (mom passed away 4 yrs ago, new wife only been in picture 2 yrs) has been very insistent on becoming "Grandma" right away to all of the grandchildren & has been quite vocal about offering her opinion on everything. We don't want to hurt feelings but only feel comfortable with my mom in the delivery room. Neither of us really know the stepmother since they live quite a way a way. Mainly only through Facebook. The other kids live closer to FIL so have gotten to know her.
My FIL is a very sweet man & doesn't like conflict so he's following his wife's decision to visit my SIL & her family in another state instead of visiting us after baby is home & settled. They will also not be attending the baptism because I'm Catholic & they are another religion & are she's very upset I won't be converting. I'm kind of at my wits end as to how many offers to extend for my husband & FIL's sake.
TIA ladies!!
Re: Step MIL in delivery room?
I could see that if you are having your mother in there your husband might want his own mother there too...but this woman is clearly not a mother figure and your husband doesn't seem to want her there so that's not an issue.
I'm planning to just have my husband with me...I would prefer a private celebration when we finally become a family of three. I don't even want to see visitors for several hours afterwards if I can help it. I'd suggest you have your husband tell his stepmother no.
If they didn't make the baby with me then they don't get to see my vagina. The only exception I made is my dear friend who was with me in the beginning of my labor with DS. H was tending to DD until our childcare person arrived (I went into labor at 2am in the morning).
If you aren't close with this woman then I see no reason for her to be there. Her wanting to assert her Grandmotherly desires is not a good reason IMHO. She's taking a situation that is not about her & making it about her.
Set boundaries & stick to them.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I hardly felt comfortable with DH seeing my swollen monster vag area. I asked him not to look because for some reason on my body, that whole area gets HUGE looking around 35w. Nobody needs to see that - my mom, my sister, my MIL.......ME.
My sister is training to be an L&D nurse, and I'm barely contemplating letting her be in there.
No. Just... No.
I understand the dilemma of not wanting to hurt anybody's feelings but this is totally your call. If you're not comfortable with it, you shouldn't feel pressured to let them in there. Though both families were present for the birth of my daughter, it was only me and my wife in the delivery room!
#Livn'ItUpInCO
I think you and your SO should be grown ups and tell her exactly as it is, but you can always opt for the "hospital policy" excuse if you cannot be straight with her.
FTR you don't HAVE to tell anyone when you go into labor, just go to the hospital and tell your family after the birth.