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FFFC

ready-or-notready-or-not member
in Parenting
Thow them out Ladies, its Friday!
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Re: FFFC

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  • ready-or-notready-or-not member
    I'm pretty sure switching jobs was the worst financial decision DH has ever made for our family & I'm a little bitter about it. He keeps saying it'll even out in 3 years, but 3 years is a long time with 4 kids. Christmas is coming up fast & the struggle is real already.
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  • Bythebeach09Bythebeach09 member
    CTGirl30 said:

    I hate my married name. Also hated my maiden name - this one is just easier to spell.

    I don't like my married name for me. As a last name, it rather nice, but specifically for me, I don't like it. My maiden name is very, very Italian and my married name is not at all. I feel like my italian-ness has been stripped.

    I would have kept my maiden name if DH would have been ok with it. He wasn't.
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  • MrsT0514MrsT0514 member
    I love MH to death and wouldn't want to be married to anyone else, but he really sucks at giving emotional support/talking things through when I'm having a rough time.

    The past few years, he's done an amazing job of working thru some personal issues of his (in addition to us being in therapy to help communicate better with each other), but now that I'm seemingly having a rough time on some days, yesterday especially, (this pregnancy/hormones has brought out some nasty intermittent anxiety attacks/irrational fears and anxiousness) he has no clue how to actually just sit and be present with me and talk me through my issues.

    I sometimes feel really resentful that as a married couple, we've been able to focus on his issues (which no doubt, NEEDED to be fixed) but now it feels like he has no energy left to focus on mine.
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  • MrsT0514MrsT0514 member
    Sorry for the /dear diary fffc!
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  • Bythebeach09Bythebeach09 member
    unheardof said:


    Bythebeach09 said:

    CTGirl30 said:

    I hate my married name. Also hated my maiden name - this one is just easier to spell.

    I don't like my married name for me. As a last name, it rather nice, but specifically for me, I don't like it. My maiden name is very, very Italian and my married name is not at all. I feel like my italian-ness has been stripped.

    I would have kept my maiden name if DH would have been ok with it. He wasn't.

    Technically, if you've changed your name with the social security office, you can use either or.  You don't 'lose' your maiden name, they're interchangeable.  Both are you.

    At least that's how the woman explained it to me at the SS office.  My married name sucks.  I was going to keep my maiden name at work but my co-workers surprised me with a new tag and all the tickets put in for the change so whatever.


    Yeah, some things I didn't change, like old accounts and my student loan.

    My friends still refer to me by my last name.
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  • ppantsppants member
    I'm sorry for your loss @mrspadfoot
    Wendy Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD
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  • stra0111stra0111 member
    I like my married name the most. My maiden name is my father's last name. I have no relationship with him. My mom has had my step dad's last name for as long as I can remember and my sister had a married name since I was 7. I was the only one with that last name. I was offered my step dad's last name but didn't want it because it is an easily made fun of last name.
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  • JNerdJNerd member
    I love my maiden name. It is very Dutch and I miss it.
    My married name is Hungarian and very, very common so I constantly get asked if we are related to person X or person Y.
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  • RondackHikerRondackHiker member
    Two days ago I got confirmation of something I've worried about. Three of the moms I regularly hang out with do not vaccinate.

    Despite my passionate arguments online and in person in the past, I didn't say a damn word as they talked about the struggles to find a pediatrician who wouldn't hassle them about it.... And I'm not sure if im going to stop hanging out with them.

    It took me so long to make this group of friends, and now to find out that many (not all) of them do not vaccinate makes me feel sick. It's something I feel so passionately about, but I was so lonely for so long.

    I can't believe I'm even considering ignoring how I feel to hang out with these ladies.


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  • ready-or-notready-or-not member
    I went from a super easy 4 letter last name to a ridiculously long hard to pronounce Italian name. I do like my married last name, but FFFC: I still use my 4 letter maiden name when signing just about anything bc its so much easier. Drives MH nuts lol
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  • JNerdJNerd member
    I feel guilty because we have spent a lot of time dealing with my emotional issues and hubby has just been my rock. But because I've had a bunch of crap to work through, we haven't had the emotional energy to deal with any of his. Thankfully he's not as fucked up as I am, but I know that he has his Demons too.
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  • MrsT0514MrsT0514 member
    peanutrach1 said:

    Hugs @MrsT0514‌ - I think that sometimes guys just don't getting that listening is helpful. I know my DH gets frustrated when I just want him to listen and not try to instantly resolve things. Try to take some time for yourself this weekend and he can watch your DS.

    Thanks @peanutrach1‌. DS and I are actually heading oot to stay with my parents this Saturday for the night bc DH will priming DS's new big boy room with kilz primer (nasty shit), so DS and I are heading out so we wont need to deal with the fumes. I totally intwnd to take advantage of the help with childcare and relax a bit! I need it!
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  • jesuisfatigueejesuisfatiguee member
    I don't like my surname because I don't like my family. I will absolutely be changing that shit if I ever get hitched, even if the new last name is just awful.



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  • billybumblerbillybumbler member
    I never even considered changing my name when I got married because I don't like my FIL and it's his last name. I don't feel welcome at all in that family so why change my name? If it was MIL's name I might consider it. 
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  • MrsT0514MrsT0514 member
    edited November 2014
    RondackHiker said:

    MrsT0514 said:

    Im sorry @RondackHiker‌. Your internal struggle is completely justified. Thats tough. No one wants to feel alone. But I guess the question is, will you be able to put those huge differences aside to continue hanging with them?

    I don't know.

    DH doesnt really want me to hang out with them, but I'm so torn. These ladies have great kids around DS and DD's age. They're funny and nice and parent in a similar way. They aren't racist or homophobic and they are fun to be around. It was so hard to find other moms who weren't dicks.
    I hear you. Finding mom friends with sinilar parenting styles/values that are also fun to be around is not simple task. I literally only have like 2 main mom friends that I get together with.

    One of which lives right down the road from me...her and i are acrually very much alike, which is why we get along great. The other lives about 5 min away and she parents similarly to me, but some of her values/theories in life (outside of parenting, if that makes any sense) are very different from mine..not to mention that her common law husband is a real douche that no one in our group of friends can tolerate.. So I sometimes need to bite my tongue on certain things which can be difficult.
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  • MrsT0514MrsT0514 member
    God damn autocorrect cannot spell...at all! Fuck!
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  • jesuisfatigueejesuisfatiguee member
    luxannie said:
    I don't like my surname because I don't like my family. I will absolutely be changing that shit if I ever get hitched, even if the new last name is just awful.
    Sleepyjesus Penishead has a nice ring to it.
    :x



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  • JNerdJNerd member
    I love MILs last name. I feel like it has prestige and history and the family even has an official coat of arms. MIL never changed her name when she married FIL. But hubby and his sister have fils last name.
    When hubby talks about changing his last name to MILs I full support that and told him we would all change our names too.
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  • JNerdJNerd member
    @Brewcitygal‌ I'm fairly certain DS hates Squeaker. She doesn't get get yelled at and gets lots of snuggles.
    And I don't feel like I have the energy to be the parent he needs most days.
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  • monkeybutt61612monkeybutt61612 member
    My husband, kids, and I each have different last names.
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  • ShakeyJakeyShakeyJakey member
    Mackalien13 said:


    ShakeyJakey said:

    If I thought I was strong enough to make it as a single mother, I would have left SO a long time ago.

    What makes you think you aren't? Would your SO be a good co-parent?

    I don't think I could handle the majority of the care alone. He would (will? He left last night) split custody with me but that seems a lot harder than a two parent household. I mean obviously it is. I want someone there to give me an hour break, not take my kid away from every other weekend.

    Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

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    There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
    Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
    Without you I'll never make it out alive
    But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 
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  • jesuisfatigueejesuisfatiguee member
    Sterling13 said:

    jesuisfatiguee said:

    An ex sent me a dirty video of himself while we were still together. I never deleted it.

    Is this the thing you were referring to on page two? That I just told you to post right after you posted it? Good timing, Sterling.
    No lol this is a different one.

    Is it more flammable though that I have occasionally watched it..?



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  • JNerdJNerd member
    I have gotten into the routine of letting DS watch cartoons while I drink my morning coffee. With DST he has been up at 5/530 and I just can't function until 530pm when hubby gets home. At least with a movie for him and coffee for me I have a touch of sanity until the daily nap time battle.
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  • jesuisfatigueejesuisfatiguee member
    After my HH date on Tuesday, I booty called CSG. I do not regret it.



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