We just got our 2013 taxes filed. DH owns his own practice so we always have to have an extension. I finally get to keep our state refund. It was supposed to be like $2700, but there was over $5500 dep into our account. I'm really hoping it's not an error and I can keep it all!
ETA: My 1st thought about how to spend the extra $ (if I can keep it) was to pay off DS's orthodontist. Paying off bills makes me happy.
I'm pretty sure switching jobs was the worst financial decision DH has ever made for our family & I'm a little bitter about it. He keeps saying it'll even out in 3 years, but 3 years is a long time with 4 kids. Christmas is coming up fast & the struggle is real already.
I hate my married name. Also hated my maiden name - this one is just easier to spell.
I don't like my married name for me. As a last name, it rather nice, but specifically for me, I don't like it. My maiden name is very, very Italian and my married name is not at all. I feel like my italian-ness has been stripped.
I would have kept my maiden name if DH would have been ok with it. He wasn't.
I love MH to death and wouldn't want to be married to anyone else, but he really sucks at giving emotional support/talking things through when I'm having a rough time.
The past few years, he's done an amazing job of working thru some personal issues of his (in addition to us being in therapy to help communicate better with each other), but now that I'm seemingly having a rough time on some days, yesterday especially, (this pregnancy/hormones has brought out some nasty intermittent anxiety attacks/irrational fears and anxiousness) he has no clue how to actually just sit and be present with me and talk me through my issues.
I sometimes feel really resentful that as a married couple, we've been able to focus on his issues (which no doubt, NEEDED to be fixed) but now it feels like he has no energy left to focus on mine.
I hate my married name. Also hated my maiden name - this one is just easier to spell.
I don't like my married name for me. As a last name, it rather nice, but specifically for me, I don't like it. My maiden name is very, very Italian and my married name is not at all. I feel like my italian-ness has been stripped.
I would have kept my maiden name if DH would have been ok with it. He wasn't.
Technically, if you've changed your name with the social security office, you can use either or. You don't 'lose' your maiden name, they're interchangeable. Both are you.
At least that's how the woman explained it to me at the SS office. My married name sucks. I was going to keep my maiden name at work but my co-workers surprised me with a new tag and all the tickets put in for the change so whatever.
Yeah, some things I didn't change, like old accounts and my student loan.
I like my married name the most. My maiden name is my father's last name. I have no relationship with him. My mom has had my step dad's last name for as long as I can remember and my sister had a married name since I was 7. I was the only one with that last name. I was offered my step dad's last name but didn't want it because it is an easily made fun of last name.
I love my maiden name. It is very Dutch and I miss it. My married name is Hungarian and very, very common so I constantly get asked if we are related to person X or person Y.
Two days ago I got confirmation of something I've worried about. Three of the moms I regularly hang out with do not vaccinate.
Despite my passionate arguments online and in person in the past, I didn't say a damn word as they talked about the struggles to find a pediatrician who wouldn't hassle them about it.... And I'm not sure if im going to stop hanging out with them.
It took me so long to make this group of friends, and now to find out that many (not all) of them do not vaccinate makes me feel sick. It's something I feel so passionately about, but I was so lonely for so long.
I can't believe I'm even considering ignoring how I feel to hang out with these ladies.
I went from a super easy 4 letter last name to a ridiculously long hard to pronounce Italian name. I do like my married last name, but FFFC: I still use my 4 letter maiden name when signing just about anything bc its so much easier. Drives MH nuts lol
I feel guilty because we have spent a lot of time dealing with my emotional issues and hubby has just been my rock. But because I've had a bunch of crap to work through, we haven't had the emotional energy to deal with any of his. Thankfully he's not as fucked up as I am, but I know that he has his Demons too.
Hugs @MrsT0514 - I think that sometimes guys just don't getting that listening is helpful. I know my DH gets frustrated when I just want him to listen and not try to instantly resolve things. Try to take some time for yourself this weekend and he can watch your DS.
Thanks @peanutrach1. DS and I are actually heading oot to stay with my parents this Saturday for the night bc DH will priming DS's new big boy room with kilz primer (nasty shit), so DS and I are heading out so we wont need to deal with the fumes. I totally intwnd to take advantage of the help with childcare and relax a bit! I need it!
I don't like my surname because I don't like my family. I will absolutely be changing that shit if I ever get hitched, even if the new last name is just awful.
Im sorry @RondackHiker. Your internal struggle is completely justified. Thats tough. No one wants to feel alone. But I guess the question is, will you be able to put those huge differences aside to continue hanging with them?
I never even considered changing my name when I got married because I don't like my FIL and it's his last name. I don't feel welcome at all in that family so why change my name? If it was MIL's name I might consider it.
Im sorry @RondackHiker. Your internal struggle is completely justified. Thats tough. No one wants to feel alone. But I guess the question is, will you be able to put those huge differences aside to continue hanging with them?
I don't know.
DH doesnt really want me to hang out with them, but I'm so torn. These ladies have great kids around DS and DD's age. They're funny and nice and parent in a similar way. They aren't racist or homophobic and they are fun to be around. It was so hard to find other moms who weren't dicks.
Im sorry @RondackHiker. Your internal struggle is completely justified. Thats tough. No one wants to feel alone. But I guess the question is, will you be able to put those huge differences aside to continue hanging with them?
I don't know.
DH doesnt really want me to hang out with them, but I'm so torn. These ladies have great kids around DS and DD's age. They're funny and nice and parent in a similar way. They aren't racist or homophobic and they are fun to be around. It was so hard to find other moms who weren't dicks.
I hear you. Finding mom friends with sinilar parenting styles/values that are also fun to be around is not simple task. I literally only have like 2 main mom friends that I get together with.
One of which lives right down the road from me...her and i are acrually very much alike, which is why we get along great. The other lives about 5 min away and she parents similarly to me, but some of her values/theories in life (outside of parenting, if that makes any sense) are very different from mine..not to mention that her common law husband is a real douche that no one in our group of friends can tolerate.. So I sometimes need to bite my tongue on certain things which can be difficult.
I don't like my surname because I don't like my family. I will absolutely be changing that shit if I ever get hitched, even if the new last name is just awful.
Im sorry @RondackHiker. Your internal struggle is completely justified. Thats tough. No one wants to feel alone. But I guess the question is, will you be able to put those huge differences aside to continue hanging with them?
This. Not vaccinating to me means that I couldn't be friends on principle with someone because this basically means they don't believe in science and logic. I know loneliness is no joke, but surely there are other moms out there you can be friends with.
You're right.
I'm just feeling rather bummed about it and pissed off today.
In so many other ways they are GREAT. I really like them. But they're risking people who can't be vaccinated or who are too young... Including my baby.
There is one mom who had a DD my son really likes.
Last year I bough a pair of booties because they were cute and I'm severely lacking in winter shoes, but mostly because they look like something Harry Styles would wear.
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightningin your eyes I can't deny Then there’s me inside a sinkingboat running out of time Without you I'll never make it out alive But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
I love MILs last name. I feel like it has prestige and history and the family even has an official coat of arms. MIL never changed her name when she married FIL. But hubby and his sister have fils last name. When hubby talks about changing his last name to MILs I full support that and told him we would all change our names too.
@Brewcitygal I'm fairly certain DS hates Squeaker. She doesn't get get yelled at and gets lots of snuggles. And I don't feel like I have the energy to be the parent he needs most days.
@RondackHiker I'd absolutely talk to them about it. What do you have to lose if you're not going to continue the relationship if they remain non-vax anyway?
If I thought I was strong enough to make it as a single mother, I would have left SO a long time ago.
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightningin your eyes I can't deny Then there’s me inside a sinkingboat running out of time Without you I'll never make it out alive But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
Oooookkaayyyyy. I have another one, but I am still red faced from it as I am typing.
One of my co-workers lives a few towns over from me-- and we take the same train line in to work in the morning. Sometimes we make the same train (I am usually on an earlier train, she ususally takes the one that comes about 20 minutes later.)
Anyway, today she texted me that she did make the same train as me (the earlier one) and she told me that she was towards the front of the train and to come find her if I wanted because there was an empty seat next to her.
So, I make my way through the train, I see her sitting in an aisle seat (she's facing away from me though) so I walk up to her and "flick" her.
It was not her. It was another curly haired brunette that happend to have the same exact GD quilted Burberry jacket that every suburban 30 something woman has. I was so embarassed, but the woman I accidentally flicked was super nice about it.
TL;DR I accidentally flicked a grown woman on public transit because I thought she was my friend.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
If I thought I was strong enough to make it as a single mother, I would have left SO a long time ago.
What makes you think you aren't? Would your SO be a good co-parent?
I don't think I could handle the majority of the care alone. He would (will? He left last night) split custody with me but that seems a lot harder than a two parent household. I mean obviously it is. I want someone there to give me an hour break, not take my kid away from every other weekend.
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightningin your eyes I can't deny Then there’s me inside a sinkingboat running out of time Without you I'll never make it out alive But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
I still love him so much but I can't take the fighting and not even wanting to be around him. I'm hoping a temporary break and some counseling (trying to get us signed up for a weekend long seminar) can get us through the rough spot but I'm terrified at the idea of trying to do it alone.
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightningin your eyes I can't deny Then there’s me inside a sinkingboat running out of time Without you I'll never make it out alive But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
I have gotten into the routine of letting DS watch cartoons while I drink my morning coffee. With DST he has been up at 5/530 and I just can't function until 530pm when hubby gets home. At least with a movie for him and coffee for me I have a touch of sanity until the daily nap time battle.
ready-or-not
member
Re: FFFC
We just got our 2013 taxes filed. DH owns his own practice so we always have to have an extension. I finally get to keep our state refund. It was supposed to be like $2700, but there was over $5500 dep into our account. I'm really hoping it's not an error and I can keep it all!
ETA: My 1st thought about how to spend the extra $ (if I can keep it) was to pay off DS's orthodontist. Paying off bills makes me happy.
I would have kept my maiden name if DH would have been ok with it. He wasn't.
The past few years, he's done an amazing job of working thru some personal issues of his (in addition to us being in therapy to help communicate better with each other), but now that I'm seemingly having a rough time on some days, yesterday especially, (this pregnancy/hormones has brought out some nasty intermittent anxiety attacks/irrational fears and anxiousness) he has no clue how to actually just sit and be present with me and talk me through my issues.
I sometimes feel really resentful that as a married couple, we've been able to focus on his issues (which no doubt, NEEDED to be fixed) but now it feels like he has no energy left to focus on mine.
Yeah, some things I didn't change, like old accounts and my student loan.
My friends still refer to me by my last name.
My married name is Hungarian and very, very common so I constantly get asked if we are related to person X or person Y.
Despite my passionate arguments online and in person in the past, I didn't say a damn word as they talked about the struggles to find a pediatrician who wouldn't hassle them about it.... And I'm not sure if im going to stop hanging out with them.
It took me so long to make this group of friends, and now to find out that many (not all) of them do not vaccinate makes me feel sick. It's something I feel so passionately about, but I was so lonely for so long.
I can't believe I'm even considering ignoring how I feel to hang out with these ladies.
Josie yelled "SHIT" last night when she dropped her milk. The struggle not to laugh was there.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
Also, I only play the lottery maybe 3-5 times a year-- when the pot is really large.
Every single time I am legitimately depressed when I don't win.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
DH doesnt really want me to hang out with them, but I'm so torn. These ladies have great kids around DS and DD's age. They're funny and nice and parent in a similar way. They aren't racist or homophobic and they are fun to be around. It was so hard to find other moms who weren't dicks.
One of which lives right down the road from me...her and i are acrually very much alike, which is why we get along great. The other lives about 5 min away and she parents similarly to me, but some of her values/theories in life (outside of parenting, if that makes any sense) are very different from mine..not to mention that her common law husband is a real douche that no one in our group of friends can tolerate.. So I sometimes need to bite my tongue on certain things which can be difficult.
I'm just feeling rather bummed about it and pissed off today.
In so many other ways they are GREAT. I really like them. But they're risking people who can't be vaccinated or who are too young... Including my baby.
There is one mom who had a DD my son really likes.
Can I straight up ask her about vaccine status?
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
Without you I'll never make it out alive
But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing
When hubby talks about changing his last name to MILs I full support that and told him we would all change our names too.
And I don't feel like I have the energy to be the parent he needs most days.
Now I need to just not be a chicken.
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
Without you I'll never make it out alive
But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing
Oooookkaayyyyy. I have another one, but I am still red faced from it as I am typing.
One of my co-workers lives a few towns over from me-- and we take the same train line in to work in the morning. Sometimes we make the same train (I am usually on an earlier train, she ususally takes the one that comes about 20 minutes later.)
Anyway, today she texted me that she did make the same train as me (the earlier one) and she told me that she was towards the front of the train and to come find her if I wanted because there was an empty seat next to her.
So, I make my way through the train, I see her sitting in an aisle seat (she's facing away from me though) so I walk up to her and "flick" her.
It was not her. It was another curly haired brunette that happend to have the same exact GD quilted Burberry jacket that every suburban 30 something woman has. I was so embarassed, but the woman I accidentally flicked was super nice about it.
TL;DR I accidentally flicked a grown woman on public transit because I thought she was my friend.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I don't think I could handle the majority of the care alone. He would (will? He left last night) split custody with me but that seems a lot harder than a two parent household. I mean obviously it is. I want someone there to give me an hour break, not take my kid away from every other weekend.
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
Without you I'll never make it out alive
But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing
Is it more flammable though that I have occasionally watched it..?
You are capable. I promise.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I agree.
My shittiest single mom day is better than my best being married to my ex day.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
Without you I'll never make it out alive
But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing