Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: The SleepEasy Thread
As to your other question - This method is all about a consistent response to crying so LO learns to self soothe. While I'm sure you can use some parts of the book (bed time routine), I don't think you can expect the 5 day result of 11 hrs of sleep.
Bed at 7:15, 1hr12m crying. I went to bed at 1130 and got up at 2 am for dream feed and he was wide awake already, but quiet. He was still wide awake after his feed, but we put him to bed anyways and it took 18m for him to get to sleep. We had a wake up and 1 check in at 430, then grumbles from 5-6:15, at which time I got him up for the day.
Yay!
My son is a thumb sucker. After a few times falling asleep and waking when his thumb fell, he learned to turn his head slightly so it didn't wake him. That's going to be something she will have to figure out. It's part of the learning to self soothe process.
We had this problem before we started sleep training. He was rolling over on his stomach anytime he woke up and couldnt get back. We spent two days teaching / making him roll from stomach to back all day long before he figured it out. Now when I put him down he'll fuss until he puts himself on his stomach and then go to sleep
J14 Jan Siggy Challenge: Santorini
I drank a beer and had DH do the checkins the first night
Again, early in the evening, but he's asleep (or awake and quiet?) after 46 minutes. Which is an improvement from last night's 1hr12m. And I'm on my own tonight as DH is working. GO ME
Will update in the am - hopefully we have another one like last night
J14 Jan Siggy Challenge: Santorini
I wanted to add these up in good and bad columns, but I'm so tired that I'm not sure which is which hah
So to bed at 730, cried for 46 minutes, then intermittent crying (7x from 9-1230) with settling under 5 minutes.
Dreamfeed at 130 (tried to catch him before he woke up, but he was already awake, but happy). Fed for 13m instead of 20 - he went to sleep. Put him back in crib and cried for 8 min and went to sleep.
But! cried at 330, which required one check in, then intermittent fussiness until I got him up at 5.
So, less crying at bedtime, easier settling, but trouble with staying asleep during those couple hours before wake time.
With your dream feed, if he is awake, the book recommends you wait for him to go back to sleep, wait 10-15 min THEN feed (page 67 sidebar).
The only thing with the dreamfeed is that he was already wide awake when I went in, not fussy, just laying there. So I wonder how long he'd been awake for since he usually doesn't wake for a feed until 330, so I thought I'd given lots of time to catch him before usually due. Maybe I'll push it back a bit since he was also awake at 2 the night before, so I'm not sure going in earlier will do any good.
I'll keep him in the crib longer tomorrow, just the time change is taking some adjusting.
Night #1 went great! (Hopefully I'm not jinxing it!)
Here's the rundown:
7:20- put in crib
7:39- asleep
11:30- dreamfeed
2:10- woke
2:24- asleep (only cried 7 mins)
5:45- woke
*She cried/fussed for about five minutes before I took her out at 6:00. I need to go back and read whether I'm supposed to do that or not.
Nap #1:
6:30- put in crib
6:40- asleep (little crying/fussing)
And so far she's still napping!
*I adjusted for the time change. Her nap started almost 2 hours after she woke.
A few tips:
LO needs to stay in the crib for 11 hrs. If bed time is 7:20 (and make sure this is a consistent time every night) then she needs to stay in until 6:20.
Your first nap should be two hours after designated wake time so 8:20. The next two naps will be 2.5 hrs after the end of the previous nap. Remember that LO needs to be in the crib for at least 1 hour. This schedule will help you get thru the day and not have 3+ hrs where LO is awake.
Night 1:
V: Bed at 6:18, awake 9:15 - 9:25 crying, awake 1:30-1:37 fussing, awake 5:23 for good.
S: Bed at 6:15, awake 11:47-12:20 off/on crying/fussing, quick fuss 12:39, awake 5:25 for good.
Day 1:
V: napped perfectly on schedule all day
S: First nap 40 mins, second nap 45 mins, third nap 30 mins, fourth nap (trying to catch up) 34 mins. Made her stay in crib full hour.
Night 2:
V: Bed at 6:32, awake 9:16-9:23, quick fuss 10:28, awake 12:33-1:00, (DST), awake 1:12-1:45, awake 4:32 for good.
S: Bed at 6:32, quick fuss 9:35, awake for good 4:30
Day 2 (today):
V: First nap 2 hours, second nap 40 mins
S: First nap 35 mins (fussed 25 mins, then fell asleep again for 25 mins), second nap is going well so far...
The short nap part is really sucky. Please convince me that if I let them fuss/cry in their crib those additional 15-30 mins then eventually they'll sleep an hour at a time. Please?
Also, if they wake up from nap early, then do manage to fall back asleep, how long are you letting them sleep?
Yes, they will get the hang of a longer nap. They need to learn to not fully wake after that first sleep cycle (typically 45 min). DS has fallen back asleep at the 58 min mark when we first started.
If they wake early then fall back asleep, I'm letting DS go until he wakes up again. The only exceptions to this is the third nap that has to end by 4:30 so he has at least 2 hours to be awake before bed (6:30) and the second nap has to end by 1:30 so he gets that third nap in.