My fiancé just informed me that his best friend and his wife and two small children are planning to come stay with us for a week when the baby is 6 weeks old. I absolutely lost my mind on him...he has no idea how sacred this time is and it just pisses me off. We have no guest bedroom and no place for them to stay. He said they could stay with my parents who have an extra room but they have never met them before. Why are men so stupid? Not to mention it's the middle of winter and I don't want people in my home very often to avoid getting baby sick. Am I being irrational? Man I am frustrated...
Re: Company and a newborn baby!!
I also really appreciated when family and friends came to stay, but we had plenty of space and everyone spoke about it to begin with. Not everyone wants or needs visitors during the first few months.
Plus, I ALWAYS clear it with the other woman first. Just to double check, because I'd hate to be put in a position where I was making someone feel uncomfortable, esp in their own home!
And 6 weeks!? That's still too soon IMO.
I think you still have plenty of time to put a stop to this. Tell them the timing isn't great and that it would be more fun if they could visit in the spring or summer when you guys are more settled. That's what I would do.
as it is is just going to make things stressful. I love company and love to entertain but it's not relaxing for me and he just doesn't understand that. Having three children under the age of 6 running around my house and trying to get acquainted with a newborn is just not my idea of a good time. Lol
Dec '12 & Jan '15
My FIL keeps trying to finagle his way into renting a nearby house for the entire month of February. All our family lives over 1000 miles away, so everyone has to fly in to visit. I appreciate that he wants his own space because NO ONE is welcome to live with us for a whole month, but I don't want to share DH's paternity leave with anyone - FIL think it's great to come spend time while DH is off work, but that isn't time for anyone except with our son! Mostly he'll just want DH to go spend every day at the bar with him and will pout when DH says no.
I keep telling him March, not February, but he just isn't listening. DH isn't being firm enough for my taste and it's driving me nuts! If he allows it at all, we will be having one of the biggest issues of our marriage to date.
Off birth control March 2012 - Actively trying Sept 2012-April 2014
BFP on May 5th after Follistim & IUI #3
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As for houseguest, well, each couple handles things differently. In my household, close friends and family are always welcome, always. I just cannot fathom having a partner who thinks it's acceptable to dictate who/when can stay at my house.
Also, I agree with what PPs have said. It's not about it being one person's house or the other. It's about discussing things together and then coming to a decision. The problem here is that the OP's fiance made the decision without there being a conversation between the two of them. That is inconsiderate.
Lastly, this visit is planned for 6 weeks after the EDD. There is no guarantee that is when the baby will come. What if this baby comes a week and a half late? What if they baby comes really early and needs a lot of care? There's just so much up in the air. I would never chose to have four additional people come stay with me that soon after the baby is born, especially when two of them are children and there's no place for them to sleep that is out of the common area.
I would be unhappy if my DH didn't check with me before inviting a whole family to stay with us shortly after having a baby.
I'm not expecting company but I know that I am expected to show LO off to everyone and I'm not ok with that either. I am dreading my FIN (MIL) after LO is born. When my son was born she had me bring him to 3 different houses the day he came home from the hospital. She drove so I didn't have a say. Then I had to bring him over to her house every day after that.
It is NOT happening again this time. It will be winter. She lives a few streets away from us but If I am not up to it, we aren't going. But I am fully prepared for arguments of why cant my DH ( her son) bring LO over if I do not want to go?..
Because I am not ready for her to go anywhere without me, also I am breastfeeding, and not planning on using pacifiers. I will not be comfortable having her out of the house with out me, being so young. And just no.
ETA: Wording and Spelling