OK to have a shower?

jamiemckeel · October 2014

Hey all! So,we just found out today that we are having another baby girl! My question is this; Our daughter will turn 6 right after the new one is born, so is it OK to have a baby shower for this one? We had a shower 6 years ago with our first baby so I'm feeling guilty about planning one for the second baby.

Whitfry · October 2014

Can't tell if MUD attempt or not.

So just... No. No on so many things you have mentioned.

suzyq0525 · October 2014

jamiemckeel said:
Hey all! So,we just found out today that we are having another baby girl! My question is this; Our daughter will turn 6 right after the new one is born, so is it OK to have a baby shower for this one? We had a shower 6 years ago with our first baby so I'm feeling guilty about planning one for the second baby.

QFP. I have a feeling about this one.

Disneygeek77 · October 2014

IF and I mean IF someone offers to throw you one out of the kindness of their heart, I say it is ok to throw a very, very small shower. When I say small I mean closest friends and family only, those nearest and dearest to your heart or people that would have probably given you a small gift anyways. Also, IF someone kindly offers to throw you another shower, don't register ( or at least don't tell people about the registry unless they specifically ask).

Whitfry · October 2014

@happymamax2‌

Does my love of troll-baiting override my disgust at the level of stressful drama we have suffered lately? This the question.

ruemorgan · October 2014

Baby showers are for the first child, regardless of how old your other children are. If youre cool with people side-eyeing you then go for it, but most women here will agree its tacky.

Eta I agree the sip and see is a better option.

claireanne89 · October 2014

I think it depends on who you invite. I have a huge family and when I told
them I wasn't having a second shower they thought it was crazy and insisted I have one. My family looks for reasons to get together, eat and celebrate though. For us it's a cultural
thing I guess....so everyone is different but if it feels right for you then why not?

jamiemckeel · October 2014

First: I have no effing clue what MUD or QFP mean. However, I'm gathering by your awesomely supportive responses that they are not positive acronyms.
Second: I am not planning a baby shower for myself. My mom was asking me about it and I truly didn't know because my friends all have only one kid or they are different genders.
Third: it's amazing to me that people think they could ever come to a place like The Bump for care and support. I mean, what was I thinking? I'm not saying I wanted a bunch of people to say, "oh yes it's totally fine to have a shower for your second baby!" But I didn't think you'd all be such hateful, nasty bitches about it. Seriously, they have pills to help control your mood. Too bad they don't have ones for assholes. I do take some responsibility for this, though. I put myself out there and should have been prepared for criticism.

claireanne89 · October 2014

jamiemckeel said:
First: I have no effing clue what MUD or QFP mean. However, I'm gathering by your awesomely supportive responses that they are not positive acronyms.
Second: I am not planning a baby shower for myself. My mom was asking me about it and I truly didn't know because my friends all have only one kid or they are different genders.
Third: it's amazing to me that people think they could ever come to a place like The Bump for care and support. I mean, what was I thinking? I'm not saying I wanted a bunch of people to say, "oh yes it's totally fine to have a shower for your second baby!" But I didn't think you'd all be such hateful, nasty bitches about it. Seriously, they have pills to help control your mood. Too bad they don't have ones for assholes. I do take some responsibility for this, though. I put myself out there and should have been prepared for criticism.

I thought my advice was solid? Lol. Sorry you had a bad experience...

jamiemckeel · October 2014

Yep, that's me. Don't even attempt to look in the mirror to see your own negativity and nastiness. You're right.

Whitfry · October 2014

Ooohhh the glitter gif! Yay! *snaps on gloves* I do think that, next to @chrain‌ 's poodles, it is my fave.

OP (that means original poster):

1. There is an entire board dedicated solely to baby shower related questions. You could have gone there and bothered them.

2. I don't know why you expected sunshine, rainbows, and support from people you don't know. Clearly you have not spent any time whatsoever reading or you would A, have known how this would go over or B, already known the answer to your question. This leads me to the conclusion that you are either really obtuse or a troll.

Now, assuming you are a troll, I do commend you. This nonsense is much better than what we've been seeing lately. You're fun, I like you. Keep playing! Don't forget to mention how sorry you are for my husband and unborn child.

3. Name-calling such as you engaged in is against the TOU. Nobody is calling you names, why must you insist on stooping so low so fast? That's disappointing. I expected better from you.

Thanks for playing!

Whitfry · October 2014

jamiemckeel said:
First: I have no effing clue what MUD or QFP mean. However, I'm gathering by your awesomely supportive responses that they are not positive acronyms.
Second: I am not planning a baby shower for myself. My mom was asking me about it and I truly didn't know because my friends all have only one kid or they are different genders.
Third: it's amazing to me that people think they could ever come to a place like The Bump for care and support. I mean, what was I thinking? I'm not saying I wanted a bunch of people to say, "oh yes it's totally fine to have a shower for your second baby!" But I didn't think you'd all be such hateful, nasty bitches about it. Seriously, they have pills to help control your mood. Too bad they don't have ones for assholes. I do take some responsibility for this, though. I put myself out there and should have been prepared for criticism.

Also QFP

yoitslooo · October 2014

I think you should do whatever you want. Honestly, I don't believe there are any set rules and regulations for exactly what to do in any type of situation. If you want to have another then go for it, your last one was over 6 years ago and there is new baby technology and items that come out all the time. One of my friends didn't have a shower for her second child and regretted it so for her third she didn't pay any mind to if it was "tacky" or not the exact etiquette of a baby shower and she had one. So go for it and take as much part in the planning as you want too

urani · October 2014

jamiemckeel said:

But I didn't think you'd all be such hateful, nasty bitches about it. Seriously, they have pills to help control your mood. Too bad they don't have ones for assholes. I do take some responsibility for this, though. I put myself out there and should have been prepared for criticism.

Breaking news! Calling something tacky means you are a hateful, nasty bitch.

Hey OP, what you said above was completely uncalled for. Grow up.

peeppeeppeep · October 2014

Sure. Have a shower for a second child, and no worries if you want to plan it yourself. Throw a "gender" reveal party and a nursery reveal too. Demand people only buy off the registry, and ask them to buy you diapers. Be sure to register for some stuff for your six year old, too, and just in case you have a third child who is a boy, make sure you register for everything pink for this one. You'll want another shower for that third child anyway - no need to plan ahead! Yep, anything goes - and if anyone side eyes you, you just tell them you don't stand on formal etiquette. So old fashioned! Consideration for friends and family be damned.

I hope this was supportive?

lynndavid6912 · October 2014

I just wish I could gif...

janda426 · October 2014

yoitslooo said:
I think you should do whatever you want. Honestly, I don't believe there are any set rules and regulations for exactly what to do in any type of situation. If you want to have another then go for it, your last one was over 6 years ago and there is new baby technology and items that come out all the time. One of my friends didn't have a shower for her second child and regretted it so for her third she didn't pay any mind to if it was "tacky" or not the exact etiquette of a baby shower and she had one. So go for it and take as much part in the planning as you want too

Aw cute our high school mascot still hangs around to offer terrible advice.

Engineer81 · October 2014

peeppeeppeep said:
Sure. Have a shower for a second child, and no worries if you want to plan it yourself. Throw a "gender" reveal party and a nursery reveal too. Demand people only buy off the registry, and ask them to buy you diapers. Be sure to register for some stuff for your six year old, too, and just in case you have a third child who is a boy, make sure you register for everything pink for this one. You'll want another shower for that third child anyway - no need to plan ahead! Yep, anything goes - and if anyone side eyes you, you just tell them you don't stand on formal etiquette. So old fashioned! Consideration for friends and family be damned.

I hope this was supportive?

All of this. Plus, ask your guests for their income tax returns so you can assign gifts by income. You don't want sweet Aunt Mary who pulls in six figures going chintzy on your gift. Cash in!

Engineer81 · October 2014

jennypm said:

RQuinlin said:

katydid2014 said:

peeppeeppeep said:

Sure. Have a shower for a second child, and no worries if you want to plan it yourself. Throw a "gender" reveal party and a nursery reveal too. Demand people only buy off the registry, and ask them to buy you diapers. Be sure to register for some stuff for your six year old, too, and just in case you have a third child who is a boy, make sure you register for everything pink for this one. You'll want another shower for that third child anyway - no need to plan ahead! Yep, anything goes - and if anyone side eyes you, you just tell them you don't stand on formal etiquette. So old fashioned! Consideration for friends and family be damned.

I hope this was supportive?

And don't forget to insist that your guests bring a book instead of a card!

Andplusalso, everyone should bring a pack of diapers along with the gift and book. Hell, just make it easier on yourself and ask for cash or gift cards only. That way you get only what you want.

You can also make them fill out their own thank you cards and have them address the envelopes, as well. Ain't nobody got time for thank you cards when you're pregnant!

What is this thank you note of which you speak? People should be happy they are invited to bring gifts. They should be thanking the MTB!

marissalucia · October 2014

LOL this thread was funny, so entertaining :-bd

Edit for wrong smiley

drudolph11 · October 2014

@jennypm‌ i believe this is appropriate for your post (and it's one of my favorites)

photo oc4m4mxLHWoAJrTcxT0e4i-n4PwmlVrfDmy3-QGY9SRhnU2FT6kPXmMKFz1YzgxibcIEbdcjE5SnksrsD1etKiKlL0D8ceQKyLbdmMEjF7jsaNsTWxsBFbZ6gYOV_zpscpvq8gex.gif

And @lynndavid6912‌ since you can't gif I will gif for u

CoozieInMyPurse · October 2014

jamiemckeel said:

First: I have no effing clue what MUD or QFP mean. However, I'm gathering by your awesomely supportive responses that they are not positive acronyms. Second: I am not planning a baby shower for myself. My mom was asking me about it and I truly didn't know because my friends all have only one kid or they are different genders. Third: it's amazing to me that people think they could ever come to a place like The Bump for care and support. I mean, what was I thinking? I'm not saying I wanted a bunch of people to say, "oh yes it's totally fine to have a shower for your second baby!" But I didn't think you'd all be such hateful, nasty bitches about it. Seriously, they have pills to help control your mood. Too bad they don't have ones for assholes. I do take some responsibility for this, though. I put myself out there and should have been prepared for criticism.

FYI, throwing a shower for a second child just because second kid is a different sex is tacky.

yoitslooo said:

I think you should do whatever you want. Honestly, I don't believe there are any set rules and regulations for exactly what to do in any type of situation. If you want to have another then go for it, your last one was over 6 years ago and there is new baby technology and items that come out all the time. One of my friends didn't have a shower for her second child and regretted it so for her third she didn't pay any mind to if it was "tacky" or not the exact etiquette of a baby shower and she had one. So go for it and take as much part in the planning as you want too

etiquette [et-i-kit, -ket] noun
1. conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.

2. a prescribed or accepted code of usage in matters of ceremony, as at a court or in official or other formal observances.

yoitslooo. I'd like to introduce you to etiquette... Etiquette is the rules and regulations for what to do in any given situation. It's how you know that you have to line up when there is a queue instead of barging to the front. It's how you know to silence your cell phone in a house of worship or theater.

Etiquette, meet @yoitslooo. I think you have a lot to teach her.

ngolimento · October 2014

Guise, look at all her trolly friends love-titting her. Obvious troll is obvious and boring.

rm2013 · October 2014

Why the hell doesn't the report button work on mobile? I don't want to drag out my laptop for every AW troll that goes from 0 to BSC name calling within 2 replies. Smh.

071115 · October 2014

We are having a meet the baby party after the baby is born.

22roses · October 2014

I'm from the south and honestly I've never heard having more then one baby shower is tacky until joining the Bump. I personally have a friend who is pregnant with her 7th child (due the same day I'm expecting baby #1) She has had a baby shower with every baby and now wants to share My Babyshower. After seeing the comments here I don't feel bad for feeling like she is taking away from my special day... Now to think of a nice way of telling her.

blinksmb · October 2014

earthian said:

22roses said:
I'm from the south and honestly I've never heard having more then one baby shower is tacky until joining the Bump. I personally have a friend who is pregnant with her 7th child (due the same day I'm expecting baby #1) She has had a baby shower with every baby and now wants to share My Babyshower. After seeing the comments here I don't feel bad for feeling like she is taking away from my special day... Now to think of a nice way of telling her.
What could she possibly need after seven children?!?

Condoms. Give her nothing but condoms.

In fact, you should insist that you'll take care of the invites and request that in place of gifts everyone should bring her condoms.

22roses · October 2014

She always suggests people bring diapers and different size as well not Newborn. She says it's because she has big babies but I'm guessing it's because she needs the diapers for her other children as well.
Now that my eyes are opened, I will not be going to anymore of her BS

corysgirls · October 2014

I had a shower thrown by my sister and SIL with my first. When we had our second, I refused everyone's offers to hold a shower and instead had a Bbq at our home after she was born. With out 3rd (and 3rd girl!) even after I said no to a shower, my best friends threw a surprise "Sprinkle" which was great- no gifts and it was like a tea party with manis and pedis. When we had our 4th (finally a boy) it was insisted that I have one. My sister and a few friends refused to take no for an answer. They were going to have one for me no matter what I said about it. Again, it was nice and low key and small (close family and a few close friends). This time, we will have a meet the baby gathering again or possibly wait until we have her blessed (a religious thing) before we do anything. I personally don't see a problem with having a shower if the kids are far apart or different sexes. That really doesn't bother me. It does bug me when people have them for every.single.baby they pop out, when they are the same sex, close in age and register for big items. I know a few people who have done this and I just refuse to go.

Whitfry · October 2014

I'm on my first baby, but I've already had 13 baby showers. I thought that people needed to practice giving me gifts and attention. Plus we had to practice with different games and invitations. But my real shower will have a gift minimum. If you spend less than $100 and don't bring diapers and a t-shirt and a book and your own thank-you cars, the bouncers won't let you in.

You should all try doing it my way. I've gotten 3 cribs and 11 strollers!

janda426 · October 2014

Are these same fucking people still going to baby showers 6 kids later? I imagine the way they say goodbye is "see you at next years shower!"

colleen4019 · October 2014

rm2013 said:
Why the hell doesn't the report button work on mobile? I don't want to drag out my laptop for every AW troll that goes from 0 to BSC name calling within 2 replies. Smh.

It does. Scroll up after you hit report.

22roses · October 2014

Yes @janda426‌ I actually have went to everyone of her showers. Around here Everyone has baby showers with every child. Like I mentioned earlier I was ignorant to the fact that having more then one baby shower was considered tacky.

I do Believe that with this being my First Child I should by No means have to Share this Special Day With her, I'm Positive my Sister would never do that to me.

Unknown · October 2014

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Unknown · October 2014

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janda426 · October 2014

SparkleHooves said:
Go ahead! Plan a second shower! If people don't like it then they don't have to come! I don't shower personally, I prefer to roll around in my meadow!

No ones ever bathed you?!

Skrittens · October 2014

Engineer81 said:

peeppeeppeep said:
Sure. Have a shower for a second child, and no worries if you want to plan it yourself. Throw a "gender" reveal party and a nursery reveal too. Demand people only buy off the registry, and ask them to buy you diapers. Be sure to register for some stuff for your six year old, too, and just in case you have a third child who is a boy, make sure you register for everything pink for this one. You'll want another shower for that third child anyway - no need to plan ahead! Yep, anything goes - and if anyone side eyes you, you just tell them you don't stand on formal etiquette. So old fashioned! Consideration for friends and family be damned.

I hope this was supportive?

All of this. Plus, ask your guests for their income tax returns so you can assign gifts by income. You don't want sweet Aunt Mary who pulls in six figures going chintzy on your gift. Cash in!

Omg - this!!!!! My sister will assign me a gift based on what she thinks my income is. And when she does that - I just don't give it!

Unknown · October 2014

This content has been removed.

janda426 · October 2014

Skrittens said:

Engineer81 said:

peeppeeppeep said:
Sure. Have a shower for a second child, and no worries if you want to plan it yourself. Throw a "gender" reveal party and a nursery reveal too. Demand people only buy off the registry, and ask them to buy you diapers. Be sure to register for some stuff for your six year old, too, and just in case you have a third child who is a boy, make sure you register for everything pink for this one. You'll want another shower for that third child anyway - no need to plan ahead! Yep, anything goes - and if anyone side eyes you, you just tell them you don't stand on formal etiquette. So old fashioned! Consideration for friends and family be damned.

I hope this was supportive?

All of this. Plus, ask your guests for their income tax returns so you can assign gifts by income. You don't want sweet Aunt Mary who pulls in six figures going chintzy on your gift. Cash in!
Omg - this!!!!! My sister will assign me a gift based on what she thinks my income is. And when she does that - I just don't give it!

--end quote--

Please be joking.

FrecklesInside · October 2014

SparkleHooves said:

janda426 said:

SparkleHooves said:
Go ahead! Plan a second shower! If people don't like it then they don't have to come! I don't shower personally, I prefer to roll around in my meadow!
No ones ever bathed you?!

Oh sure, it's happened a time or too. Now brushing, I looooove to be brushed

::casually reaches out towards sparkle hooves with brush...::

Unknown · October 2014

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