Help with friend issue

notkateanymore · October 2014

Oh for fuck sakes you really are just the worst.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

Yes KC because I teach my kid to respect their teachers they are mindless drones. Assholes go far in life. I mean look at you. They become waiters.

magentawarped · October 2014

That's some long reach you have there, going from "no fruit snacks" to "mindless drone".

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

Usm123 said:

Don't most 4 year old understand not wanting to hurt their friend's feelings? My kid is not tactful at all but he does try not to hurt people's feelings or make them uncomfortable. Also, didn't you say you get together with the nanny? I doubt the nanny is making the kid's food choices and will get up in arms about being told they are unhealthy.

Yes he is aware to not hurt people's feelings. he doesn't quite grasp that calling the food his friend eats everyday junk food is offensive. I usually get together with the nanny but do with the mom on occasion as well.

Aussie45 · October 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

CnAmom said:

AshB62 said:
My kid begs for Lunchables all the time because her BFF brings them for lunch frequently. I told her I didn't buy them because they're unhealthy. That was the end of the conversation.
OMG lunchables are the bane of my existence! DS1 has a friend who brings the pizza ones for lunch and he always begs me to get him some. You know what I tell him? NO.

And when you say no because I said so,your kid never asks again? Maybe your kid is different than mine but saying no with no explanation results in endless questioning. Hence why I'm asking here.

Um no you see because I taught my kids that no means no and I don't always have to have a reason. You know because in real life there is not always a reason. 4 is a great age to teach they if you keep asking there will be consequences. Your life will suck if your kid can't accept no, and he will irritate. the hell out if teachers and coaches.

We will have to agree to disagree here. I absolutely do not want children who blindly follow adult authority at all times no matter what. I have zero issue with my child being inquisitive and would rather choose my words better to explain vs threatening him with punishment to stop asking.

Weird my kids know when to ask and when to shut up. Since you have already admitted your kid is an ass maybe you should look more into that blindly following thing says the mom of nonasshole kids. I love how you think you have this parenting thing down but full admit to your kid being a judgmental ass who can't take no for an answer. Yep sounds like you got it down.

I'd rather raise an asshole who asks questions than a mindless drone who blindly follows. I think it will serve him better in life/future career and not make him an easy target for predators. Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

I'd rather not raise an asshole who asks questions and raise a kid who knows how to follow instructions when needed to. Unless your precious snowflake is in special training to get a job where he never has to answer to anybody, then at some point he will have to follow instructions. Unless he's being asked to kill someone, I don't think it will hurt to just follow the fucking instructions.

I'm not saying teach him to always blindly accept what people say, but FFS if mom says no then it's no. I don't have to give a reason why I don't want to do something or why I don't want to buy something. Your kid needs to learn that sometimes no is just no and there's no reason. You don't NEED a reason to say no.

You are literally making a mountain out of a mole hill. Tell him no and have him be an ass to his friend or tell him and don't give him a reason and teach him life's not always fair, or just buy the fucking fruit snacks.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

Andrewsgal said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

CnAmom said:

My kid begs for Lunchables all the time because her BFF brings them for lunch frequently. I told her I didn't buy them because they're unhealthy. That was the end of the conversation.
OMG lunchables are the bane of my existence! DS1 has a friend who brings the pizza ones for lunch and he always begs me to get him some. You know what I tell him? NO.

And when you say no because I said so,your kid never asks again? Maybe your kid is different than mine but saying no with no explanation results in endless questioning. Hence why I'm asking here.

Um no you see because I taught my kids that no means no and I don't always have to have a reason. You know because in real life there is not always a reason. 4 is a great age to teach they if you keep asking there will be consequences. Your life will suck if your kid can't accept no, and he will irritate. the hell out if teachers and coaches.

We will have to agree to disagree here. I absolutely do not want children who blindly follow adult authority at all times no matter what. I have zero issue with my child being inquisitive and would rather choose my words better to explain vs threatening him with punishment to stop asking.
Weird my kids know when to ask and when to shut up. Since you have already admitted your kid is an ass maybe you should look more into that blindly following thing says the mom of nonasshole kids. I love how you think you have this parenting thing down but full admit to your kid being a judgmental ass who can't take no for an answer. Yep sounds like you got it down.

I'd rather raise an asshole who asks questions than a mindless drone who blindly follows. I think it will serve him better in life/future career and not make him an easy target for predators. Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

Then you better give that kid some fruit treats before some guy in a van shows up with a case of them.

Come the hell on now.

It has nothing to do with fruit snacks. I have zero desire to teach my kid no because I said so and you have to listen no questions asked or you're punished. I don't think that's a good lesson for kids.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

You guys don't get it. kCs kid is such a fucking special snowflake he can't be told no or expected not to be an asshole. Kids act like what they are surrounded by you know.

notkateanymore · October 2014

Your kids are going to be "those" kids or already are...I weep for their teachers and anybody that has to interact with them.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

I seriously feel bad for people who can't say no to their kids. Life must be so much fucking work.

fintin · October 2014

Exactly how does respecting authority automatically lead to a child "drone" who will most likely be taken advantage of. This is ridiculous. Teach your kid to function in society. And to function in society as an adult you have to respect and listen to authority figures.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

notkateanymore said:

Your kids are going to be "those" kids or already are...I weep for their teachers and anybody that has to interact with them.

Actually at parent night my kids teacher told me what a polite,well behaved child I had who does great with other kids. He has zero issues following rules at school or at sports but is inquisitive. That's not something I want to punish away.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

notkateanymore said:
Your kids are going to be "those" kids or already are...I weep for their teachers and anybody that has to interact with them.

Oh I would put money on it. Maybe it's why only the nannys will do play dates.

penguingrrl · October 2014

Seriously? Teaching your kid that no means no makes him a mindless drone? I think that learning that no means no and requires no further explanation is a really important life lesson.

Hell, we're seeing a rape epidemic on campuses because of men who aren't taking no for an answer. I guess because there was no explanation given or at least not a satisfactory one to them. I actually think teaching my children that nobody owes an explanation when they tell you no is a really important part of breaking that very cycle. Yes, I went there.

That said, when my kids ask for something because their friends have it I smile, tell them that's not something I buy and move on with it. No further explanation needed. I don't need to tell them that their clothes are tacky, their toys are absurdly inappropriate or their food is unhealthy, just that those aren't things I choose to buy.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

Lol that teachers tell parents s their kids are assholes. Nope they don't. They just talk about the little shit who won't accept no for an answer in the teacher's lounge.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

Andrewsgal said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

CnAmom said:

My kid begs for Lunchables all the time because her BFF brings them for lunch frequently. I told her I didn't buy them because they're unhealthy. That was the end of the conversation.
OMG lunchables are the bane of my existence! DS1 has a friend who brings the pizza ones for lunch and he always begs me to get him some. You know what I tell him? NO.

And when you say no because I said so,your kid never asks again? Maybe your kid is different than mine but saying no with no explanation results in endless questioning. Hence why I'm asking here.

Um no you see because I taught my kids that no means no and I don't always have to have a reason. You know because in real life there is not always a reason. 4 is a great age to teach they if you keep asking there will be consequences. Your life will suck if your kid can't accept no, and he will irritate. the hell out if teachers and coaches.

We will have to agree to disagree here. I absolutely do not want children who blindly follow adult authority at all times no matter what. I have zero issue with my child being inquisitive and would rather choose my words better to explain vs threatening him with punishment to stop asking.
Weird my kids know when to ask and when to shut up. Since you have already admitted your kid is an ass maybe you should look more into that blindly following thing says the mom of nonasshole kids. I love how you think you have this parenting thing down but full admit to your kid being a judgmental ass who can't take no for an answer. Yep sounds like you got it down.

I'd rather raise an asshole who asks questions than a mindless drone who blindly follows. I think it will serve him better in life/future career and not make him an easy target for predators. Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

Then you better give that kid some fruit treats before some guy in a van shows up with a case of them.

Come the hell on now.

It has nothing to do with fruit snacks. I have zero desire to teach my kid no because I said so and you have to listen no questions asked or you're punished. I don't think that's a good lesson for kids.

Then be prepared to lose nanny friends on the playground if your kid has to go on a tangent about toxic fruit treats.

If you are going to teach your kid to be an ass, they will behave like one. Don't plant the idea in his head in the first place, and he won't repeat it.

I've never taught my kid to be an ass. He's a rule follower. That's just his nature. When he sees other kids not following rules he calls them out on it. I have never lectured someone else's kid about what they eat. It is not a learned behavior from me. He's four. He's not being an ass. He doesn't know what's offensive and what isn't and we work on it but things don't magically change overnight. I'm sure everyone else's four year old is a perfectly behaved child who always says and does the right thing.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

Andrewsgal said:

Lol that teachers tell parents s their kids are assholes. Nope they don't. They just talk about the little shit who won't accept no for an answer in the teacher's lounge.

Yeah, I have a friend whose kid doesn't follow rules well in school and she was notified from the teacher...

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

Lol that teachers tell parents s their kids are assholes. Nope they don't. They just talk about the little shit who won't accept no for an answer in the teacher's lounge.

Yeah, I have a friend whose kid doesn't follow rules well in school and she was notified from the teacher...

At back to school night? Really?

No,she didn't blurt out "hey sucks your kid is an asshole that doesn't follow the rules" in front of the room, but the teacher did request a one on one with mom to talk about it privately when she saw her there.

notkateanymore · October 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

notkateanymore said:

Your kids are going to be "those" kids or already are...I weep for their teachers and anybody that has to interact with them.

Actually at parent night my kids teacher told me what a polite,well behaved child I had who does great with other kids. He has zero issues following rules at school or at sports but is inquisitive. That's not something I want to punish away.

Bullshit

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

Lol that teachers tell parents s their kids are assholes. Nope they don't. They just talk about the little shit who won't accept no for an answer in the teacher's lounge.

Yeah, I have a friend whose kid doesn't follow rules well in school and she was notified from the teacher...

At back to school night? Really?

Of course bc that makes the story better.

magentawarped · October 2014

I'm going to request that we cut the quote tree so that I can continue enjoying the absolute nonsense that is this thread. Pretty please.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

Andrewsgal said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

CnAmom said:

My kid begs for Lunchables all the time because her BFF brings them for lunch frequently. I told her I didn't buy them because they're unhealthy. That was the end of the conversation.
OMG lunchables are the bane of my existence! DS1 has a friend who brings the pizza ones for lunch and he always begs me to get him some. You know what I tell him? NO.

And when you say no because I said so,your kid never asks again? Maybe your kid is different than mine but saying no with no explanation results in endless questioning. Hence why I'm asking here.

Um no you see because I taught my kids that no means no and I don't always have to have a reason. You know because in real life there is not always a reason. 4 is a great age to teach they if you keep asking there will be consequences. Your life will suck if your kid can't accept no, and he will irritate. the hell out if teachers and coaches.

We will have to agree to disagree here. I absolutely do not want children who blindly follow adult authority at all times no matter what. I have zero issue with my child being inquisitive and would rather choose my words better to explain vs threatening him with punishment to stop asking.
Weird my kids know when to ask and when to shut up. Since you have already admitted your kid is an ass maybe you should look more into that blindly following thing says the mom of nonasshole kids. I love how you think you have this parenting thing down but full admit to your kid being a judgmental ass who can't take no for an answer. Yep sounds like you got it down.

I'd rather raise an asshole who asks questions than a mindless drone who blindly follows. I think it will serve him better in life/future career and not make him an easy target for predators. Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

Then you better give that kid some fruit treats before some guy in a van shows up with a case of them.

Come the hell on now.

It has nothing to do with fruit snacks. I have zero desire to teach my kid no because I said so and you have to listen no questions asked or you're punished. I don't think that's a good lesson for kids.

Then be prepared to lose nanny friends on the playground if your kid has to go on a tangent about toxic fruit treats.

If you are going to teach your kid to be an ass, they will behave like one. Don't plant the idea in his head in the first place, and he won't repeat it.

I've never taught my kid to be an ass. He's a rule follower. That's just his nature. When he sees other kids not following rules he calls them out on it. I have never lectured someone else's kid about what they eat. It is not a learned behavior from me. He's four. He's not being an ass. He doesn't know what's offensive and what isn't and we work on it but things don't magically change overnight. I'm sure everyone else's four year old is a perfectly behaved child who always says and does the right thing.

He's a rule follower? Ok.

"Our rule is we don't talk about the food choices of others."

Believe me we have plenty of teachable moments out in the community of kids behaving poorly. I'd rather him not be offensive to a family I'm just beginning to develop a friendship with. If I'm having to say that to him the damage has already been done. Thinking of someone else's feelings isn't that peculiar.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

Um every teacher tells parents how great their preschoolers are at open house. It's like the teacher rule.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

Andrewsgal said:

Um every teacher tells parents how great their preschoolers are at open house. It's like the teacher rule.

I was pretty much the first parent she sought to rave about my kid. She was positive of course but she didn't repeat the same line to every person in the room. I have always gotten honest reports of what my kids strengths/weaknesses are in reports. Behavior has absolutely never been an issue and is always what his teachers rave about for the past nearly two years of preschool.

raraavis28 · October 2014

Andrewsgal said:
Lol that teachers tell parents s their kids are assholes. Nope they don't. They just talk about the little shit who won't accept no for an answer in the teacher's lounge.

True story... I had a former colleague who used to say "I wish there were a 'Your kid's an asshole' auto-comment for progress reports" :P

I am so shocked that this thread snowballed ridiculously..... *sarcasm font*

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

Lol that teachers tell parents s their kids are assholes. Nope they don't. They just talk about the little shit who won't accept no for an answer in the teacher's lounge.

Yeah, I have a friend whose kid doesn't follow rules well in school and she was notified from the teacher...

At back to school night? Really?

No,she didn't blurt out "hey sucks your kid is an asshole that doesn't follow the rules" in front of the room, but the teacher did request a one on one with mom to talk about it privately when she saw her there.

That's kind of s shitty teacher, TBH.

Pick up the phone, email, whatever. But doing that at back to school night is actually horrifically unprofessional.

Regardless, the point being not every parent is told fluff and if a kid is having a problem behaviorally the teacher doesn't just brush it under the rug and actually notifies the parents.

raraavis28 · October 2014

More food for thought.....I can't see myself taking offense at something a friend's preschooler said....kids saying the darnedest things and all. I also can't see myself staying friends long w/ someone who would get their panties in a twist over something my kids said....not saying I'm not gonna teach my kids to be polite, but for real....we're talking about preschoolers....

Andrewsgal · October 2014

This just happened:
DS: mom can we go to 7-11 and get a slurpee Tucker gets one everyday after school (he really doesn't I know his mom)
me: no
DS: okay can we go to the park?
me:sure
poor little mindless drone.

notkateanymore · October 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

Um every teacher tells parents how great their preschoolers are at open house. It's like the teacher rule.

I was pretty much the first parent she sought to rave about my kid. She was positive of course but she didn't repeat the same line to every person in the room. I have always gotten honest reports of what my kids strengths/weaknesses are in reports. Behavior has absolutely never been an issue and is always what his teachers rave about for the past nearly two years of preschool.

God you are a piece of work...of course you made sure to listen to the teacher talk to the other parents. You need therapy. Lots of it.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

Um every teacher tells parents how great their preschoolers are at open house. It's like the teacher rule.

I was pretty much the first parent she sought to rave about my kid. She was positive of course but she didn't repeat the same line to every person in the room. I have always gotten honest reports of what my kids strengths/weaknesses are in reports. Behavior has absolutely never been an issue and is always what his teachers rave about for the past nearly two years of preschool.

So you just hung out an listened to what she said to other parents about other kids?

My kids class only has eight kids--it isn't huge. Yes, it was pretty easy to hear what she was saying in close proximity.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

Wow I never thought of it but raising boys who don't take no for an answer is fucking terrifying.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

Oh and the parents of assholes are always the last to know.

fintin · October 2014

It is terrifying and makes me glad my ds knows that no means no. No matter the reason or if there even is a reason.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

You can give your children a voice, teach them to question, and explain why the rules are the way they are vs "no because I said so" and also teach your child to respect women. The two lessons are not mutually exclusive.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

fintin said:
It is terrifying and makes me glad my ds knows that no means no. No matter the reason or if there even is a reason.

Seriously. I will take my mindless drone who respects women. Over a punk that ignores "no" because women need reasons when they say no.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:
You can give your children a voice, teach them to question, and explain why the rules are the way they are vs "no because I said so" and also teach your child to respect women. The two lessons are not mutually exclusive.

There does not need to be a reason behind NO especially in certain situations. This is the lesson we need to be teaching our boys!

Andrewsgal · October 2014

Shocked KC has to be friends with the nanny. Shocked I tell you. Poor nanny.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

Um every teacher tells parents how great their preschoolers are at open house. It's like the teacher rule.

I was pretty much the first parent she sought to rave about my kid. She was positive of course but she didn't repeat the same line to every person in the room. I have always gotten honest reports of what my kids strengths/weaknesses are in reports. Behavior has absolutely never been an issue and is always what his teachers rave about for the past nearly two years of preschool.

So you just hung out an listened to what she said to other parents about other kids?

My kids class only has eight kids--it isn't huge. Yes, it was pretty easy to hear what she was saying in close proximity.

This shit is why you have to be friends with the nanny. My god. The last thing I want to now have to worry about is some asshole mom with nothing better to do than eavesdrop on discussions I have with my child's teacher.

We went to back to school night. We made a point to introduce ourselves first during the small talk portion so we could get out of there and enjoy each other's company while we had a sitter.

My question is how do you block someone out who is speaking two feet away from you? I was looking at my kids schoolwork and could hear the conversation because I was literally right there. I wasn't with dh talking to him.

notkateanymore · October 2014

Nope, sometimes no is just fucking no and you are not owed a reason. A good lesson for anybody to learn.

notkateanymore · October 2014

Kimbus22 said:

So can I have KC for the ornament swap this Christmas? I want to get those big clear ones you can fill up. I have an idea for the filling...

A clue?

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2014

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

You can give your children a voice, teach them to question, and explain why the rules are the way they are vs "no because I said so" and also teach your child to respect women. The two lessons are not mutually exclusive.

But you can't teach him to respect the food choices of other kids?

Yeah, my expectation of a four year old and a teenager are two very different things. I don't expect a four year old to have a well developed filter yet. Obviously my expectation for my teen/adult will be vastly different. What a foolish comparison.

Andrewsgal · October 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

You can give your children a voice, teach them to question, and explain why the rules are the way they are vs "no because I said so" and also teach your child to respect women. The two lessons are not mutually exclusive.

But you can't teach him to respect the food choices of other kids?

Yeah, my expectation of a four year old and a teenager are two very different things. I don't expect a four year old to have a well developed filter yet. Obviously my expectation for my teen/adult will be vastly different. What a foolish comparison.

Yes of course because what we are teaching them now is not totally shaping who they are. How foolish of us.

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