It's FRIIIIIDAYYYY!!!!

goillini823 · September 2014

pevila said:

penguingrrl said:

pevila said:

I'm going to get flamed, but I thought I might give you an insight on how things work around here.

A while ago I posted about the mother of one of DD's classmates telling me she was sending her nanny to a playdate instead of coming herself. Some of you told me that I might hit it off with the nanny, and I said "maybe," but in reality I was thinking that I would have nothing to talk about with the nanny except the children and that would last about 10 minutes.

Not that I don't think that "class" (I don't know how to call it) gaps are insurmountable (I'm "friends" with my old nanny, my parents paid for her wedding and my mom was matron of honor and she comes to visit with her daughters once in a while), but it's weird to think that one would just talk and talk with a nanny or a housekeeper like friends. I always treat them with respect and kindness, and I'm always a nice, caring and generous boss that also pays well (I think), but to be like "friends" is something else.

I have asked my housekeeper to stay later the day DD's friend is coming with her nanny so they can all play together (I'm also paying her more).

How's that for flameworthy?

I don't see this as flameful at all. From what I've read and people I've met Peru has a very different culture than the US does and based on what I've seen this is fairly standard. It's not snobbery, it's a very different way of life and mindset.

I'll add that while I think most Americans try to claim differently the same type of self selection happens here every single day. Most of my closest circle has a similar level of education as I do and very similar goals and values. That's not because I snobbishly refuse to associate with anyone else, but because those are the people I tend to have the most in common with.

Thank you. That's what I mean w

hen I say we would have nothing in common.

It may not seem that way to most of you, but I'm not snobby at all. Just very Peruvian.

Really?!?! Just very Peruvian?!? Don't insult an entire culture by saying stuff like that! Being very Peruvian has nothing to do with being a snob. I've never gotten into an argument here on TB, but this is extremely ridiculous and am embarrassing representation of Latinos as a whole.

notkateanymore · September 2014

So are you all saying you don't gravitate to people you have things in common with? Really? Huh.

pevila · September 2014

I'm just saying what most latinos really think.

Lindsay9911 · September 2014

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

goillini823 · September 2014

gwapes said:

pevila said:
I'm just saying what most latinos really think.
How nice of you to speak for an entire ethnicity.

You are so disgustingly wrong on that @pevila‌! Please stop throwing all of us under the bus!!

pevila · September 2014

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).

Aussie45 · September 2014

@notkateanymore‌ No, I do gravitate towards people I have things in common. I can make polite chit chat with people I don't though. She comes on here and complains about being snubbed by the girls mom and then snubs the nanny the same way it just (supposedly) happened to her.

I don't care if you aren't best friends with someone, but saying you're not going to talk to them because you have nothing in common when you haven't even tried? That's bs. There's no way she could know they have nothing in common because she hasn't given her the time of day. Because of her job and educational status.

pevila · September 2014

gwapes said:

I'm just saying what most latinos really think.
How nice of you to speak for an entire ethnicity.

Peru has 41 official languages, with the same number of ethnicities and very different cultures. I'm talking about the latinos that share my cultural background. I've been to many different Latin countries. We're all the same.

goillini823 · September 2014

pevila said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).

There's juicy confessions and than there's douchebag shit like this.

pevila · September 2014

I think you're judging me from your own culture without really knowing mine. It's fine. I know we're different.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2014

Pevila your answer to anything snobby you post is that it's a cultural thing. Just own it that you feel like you're better than the nanny. Are most of my friends like minded? Sure, but I can and do hang with people who are better/worse off than me and also less/more educated.

pevila · September 2014

Gastro said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).
Wtf. Giving a piece of chocolate is a cultural thing fine, no big deal. Being a bigot, is being a bigot. Humans decency and equality is a basic human right. It's not okay anywhere. If you are educated then it's time for you to be a common decent person. Evolve.

I don't understand.

notkateanymore · September 2014

Aussie45 said:

@notkateanymore‌ No, I do gravitate towards people I have things in common. I can make polite chit chat with people I don't though. She comes on here and complains about being snubbed by the girls mom and then snubs the nanny the same way it just (supposedly) happened to her. I don't care if you aren't best friends with someone, but saying you're not going to talk to them because you have nothing in common when you haven't even tried? That's bs. There's no way she could know they have nothing in common because she hasn't given her the time of day. Because of her job and educational status.

I personally would have cancelled the playdate when she said she was sending her nanny to sit at my house bc that would make me extremely uncomfortable.

goillini823 · September 2014

pevila said:
I think you're judging me from your own culture without really knowing mine. It's fine. I know we're different.

I don't think yours is much different than mine. Admit it, you're just one of the rich snobs that can not be associated with the "sirvienta".

minerswife17 · September 2014

I think this has been the most interesting week on the SAHM board.

I love it.

pevila · September 2014

Gastro said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).
Wtf. Giving a piece of chocolate is a cultural thing fine, no big deal. Being a bigot, is being a bigot. Humans decency and equality is a basic human right. It's not okay anywhere. If you are educated then it's time for you to be a common decent person. Evolve.

I don't understand.

Lindsay9911 · September 2014

So is it possible that the other child's mom thinks you're below her so she is sending her nanny?!
You are setting an example for your child and just because something is the norm doesn't make it right. Get off your high horse and teach your kid to do the right thing.

pevila · September 2014

Gastro said:

Gastro said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).
Wtf. Giving a piece of chocolate is a cultural thing fine, no big deal. Being a bigot, is being a bigot. Humans decency and equality is a basic human right. It's not okay anywhere. If you are educated then it's time for you to be a common decent person. Evolve.

I don't understand.
I'm saying giving a piece of chocolate for breakfast is/can be a cultural thing. Being a jerk is not.

I meant that giving a piece of chocolate to DD for breakfast would be a tame confession.

If you think I'm a jerk, then I'm a jerk, but there's no need to insult me.

pevila · September 2014

Lindsay9911 said:

So is it possible that the other child's mom thinks you're below her so she is sending her nanny?! You are setting an example for your child and just because something is the norm doesn't make it right. Get off your high horse and teach your kid to do the right thing.

She probably does. Her husband is from one of the wealthiest families in Peru.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2014

pevila said:

Gastro said:

Gastro said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).
Wtf. Giving a piece of chocolate is a cultural thing fine, no big deal. Being a bigot, is being a bigot. Humans decency and equality is a basic human right. It's not okay anywhere. If you are educated then it's time for you to be a common decent person. Evolve.

I don't understand.
I'm saying giving a piece of chocolate for breakfast is/can be a cultural thing. Being a jerk is not.

I meant that giving a piece of chocolate to DD for breakfast would be a tame confession.
If you think I'm a jerk, then I'm a jerk, but there's no need to insult me.

.....and it's not insulting to the nanny to insist you can't hang out with her because she's beneath you?

notkateanymore · September 2014

CnAmom said:

I think we all sort of gravitate towards people we have things in common with. The thing is that most of us can still make polite conversation with the nanny or the lunch lady because we don't see those people as being somehow beneath us and not worthy of our efforts to be nice.

I agree with this 100% but some people were giving off the vibe that they would just totally be OK. I personally will talk to ANYBODY probably too much in fact, but I won't lie and say I wouldn't be uncomfortable having somebody send their employee to my house to hang out with me. It's just odd.

pevila · September 2014

QueSyrah said:

pevila said:

Gastro said:

Gastro said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).
Wtf. Giving a piece of chocolate is a cultural thing fine, no big deal. Being a bigot, is being a bigot. Humans decency and equality is a basic human right. It's not okay anywhere. If you are educated then it's time for you to be a common decent person. Evolve.

I don't understand.
I'm saying giving a piece of chocolate for breakfast is/can be a cultural thing. Being a jerk is not.

I meant that giving a piece of chocolate to DD for breakfast would be a tame confession.
If you think I'm a jerk, then I'm a jerk, but there's no need to insult me.

.....and it's not insulting to the nanny to insist you can't hang out with her because she's beneath you?

I said that I was sure we would have nothing in common, I didn't call her any names.

pevila · September 2014

I'm not a pot stirrer, but I thought it would be fun to show you how people in other cultures think. If you think only snobby people in other cultures act/think like I do, it's fine, but it's not reality.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2014

pevila said:

QueSyrah said:

pevila said:

Gastro said:

Gastro said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).
Wtf. Giving a piece of chocolate is a cultural thing fine, no big deal. Being a bigot, is being a bigot. Humans decency and equality is a basic human right. It's not okay anywhere. If you are educated then it's time for you to be a common decent person. Evolve.

I don't understand.
I'm saying giving a piece of chocolate for breakfast is/can be a cultural thing. Being a jerk is not.

I meant that giving a piece of chocolate to DD for breakfast would be a tame confession.
If you think I'm a jerk, then I'm a jerk, but there's no need to insult me.

.....and it's not insulting to the nanny to insist you can't hang out with her because she's beneath you?

I said that I was sure we would have nothing in common.

But you don't even know her so you don't know that. If you don't want to hang with the nanny, fine. But own it. Don't act like it's cultural. Maybe you like the same books, tv shows, etc.

penguingrrl · September 2014

notkateanymore said:

CnAmom said:

I think we all sort of gravitate towards people we have things in common with. The thing is that most of us can still make polite conversation with the nanny or the lunch lady because we don't see those people as being somehow beneath us and not worthy of our efforts to be nice.

I agree with this 100% but some people were giving off the vibe that they would just totally be OK. I personally will talk to ANYBODY probably too much in fact, but I won't lie and say I wouldn't be uncomfortable having somebody send their employee to my house to hang out with me. It's just odd.

Me too. I talk to anyone and everyone and am a very friendly person. That doesn't mean that it isn't awkward as hell for someone to send their employee to your home in their stead.

Aussie45 · September 2014

This is one of my pet peeves. Treating someone different just because they have a different lifestyle than you. IDGAF if it's cultural or not, rise above it.

I can remember so many different times where I judge someone in my class at school and not like them. I would get paired with them and we'd end up being friends. I can't tell you how many times I've though, "Why didn't I like them in the first place?" It was dumb and childish. I know I judge people still, but I really try to be open and get to know different people.

pevila · September 2014

notkateanymore said:

CnAmom said:

I think we all sort of gravitate towards people we have things in common with. The thing is that most of us can still make polite conversation with the nanny or the lunch lady because we don't see those people as being somehow beneath us and not worthy of our efforts to be nice.

I agree with this 100% but some people were giving off the vibe that they would just totally be OK. I personally will talk to ANYBODY probably too much in fact, but I won't lie and say I wouldn't be uncomfortable having somebody send their employee to my house to hang out with me. It's just odd.

This. And I will be very nice to the nanny, as I always am, I promise.

Aussie45 · September 2014

pevila said:

QueSyrah said:

pevila said:

Gastro said:

pevila said:

Gastro said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).
Wtf. Giving a piece of chocolate is a cultural thing fine, no big deal. Being a bigot, is being a bigot. Humans decency and equality is a basic human right. It's not okay anywhere. If you are educated then it's time for you to be a common decent person. Evolve.

I don't understand.

I'm saying giving a piece of chocolate for breakfast is/can be a cultural thing. Being a jerk is not.

I meant that giving a piece of chocolate to DD for breakfast would be a tame confession.

If you think I'm a jerk, then I'm a jerk, but there's no need to insult me.

.....and it's not insulting to the nanny to insist you can't hang out with her because she's beneath you?

I said that I was sure we would have nothing in common, I didn't call her any names.

How the fuck do you know that you have nothing in common if you didn't give her the time of day?

notkateanymore · September 2014

Gastro said:

notkateanymore said:

CnAmom said:

I think we all sort of gravitate towards people we have things in common with. The thing is that most of us can still make polite conversation with the nanny or the lunch lady because we don't see those people as being somehow beneath us and not worthy of our efforts to be nice.

I agree with this 100% but some people were giving off the vibe that they would just totally be OK. I personally will talk to ANYBODY probably too much in fact, but I won't lie and say I wouldn't be uncomfortable having somebody send their employee to my house to hang out with me. It's just odd.

Totally agree. But she brought another element into this which she keeps defending. It's peruvian culture so I'm just going to go along with it. She knows its wrong which is why she posted. But she will continue to live her life as a bigot. Why?

I see what you're saying and I don't disagree. But, I think the first thought and feeling is one most people would have...it is ODD for the other mother to do it and I would be super uncomfortable and that doesn't make me a snob.

pevila · September 2014

Gastro said:

notkateanymore said:

CnAmom said:

I think we all sort of gravitate towards people we have things in common with. The thing is that most of us can still make polite conversation with the nanny or the lunch lady because we don't see those people as being somehow beneath us and not worthy of our efforts to be nice.

I agree with this 100% but some people were giving off the vibe that they would just totally be OK. I personally will talk to ANYBODY probably too much in fact, but I won't lie and say I wouldn't be uncomfortable having somebody send their employee to my house to hang out with me. It's just odd.

Totally agree. But she brought another element into this which she keeps defending. It's peruvian culture so I'm just going to go along with it. She knows its wrong which is why she posted. But she will continue to live her life as a bigot. Why?

I'm not saying it's wrong per se. I'm saying I know it would seem wrong to some people from your culture.

Aussie45 · September 2014

notkateanymore said:

Gastro said:

notkateanymore said:

CnAmom said:

I think we all sort of gravitate towards people we have things in common with. The thing is that most of us can still make polite conversation with the nanny or the lunch lady because we don't see those people as being somehow beneath us and not worthy of our efforts to be nice.

I agree with this 100% but some people were giving off the vibe that they would just totally be OK. I personally will talk to ANYBODY probably too much in fact, but I won't lie and say I wouldn't be uncomfortable having somebody send their employee to my house to hang out with me. It's just odd.

Totally agree. But she brought another element into this which she keeps defending. It's peruvian culture so I'm just going to go along with it. She knows its wrong which is why she posted. But she will continue to live her life as a bigot. Why?
I see what you're saying and I don't disagree. But, I think the first thought and feeling is one most people would have...it is ODD for the other mother to do it and I would be super uncomfortable and that doesn't make me a snob.

No it doesn't. I'm not saying it wouldn't be uncomfortable because what the other mom did IS weird. The way you worded it and the way she worded it are two very different things. Hers came across like she thinks that she couldn't possibly EVER have anything in common with someone as lowly as a nanny. You don't know for sure until you (general) fucking try.

pevila · September 2014

Kimbus22 said:

QueSyrah said:

pevila said:

QueSyrah said:

pevila said:

Gastro said:

Gastro said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).
Wtf. Giving a piece of chocolate is a cultural thing fine, no big deal. Being a bigot, is being a bigot. Humans decency and equality is a basic human right. It's not okay anywhere. If you are educated then it's time for you to be a common decent person. Evolve.

I don't understand.
I'm saying giving a piece of chocolate for breakfast is/can be a cultural thing. Being a jerk is not.

I meant that giving a piece of chocolate to DD for breakfast would be a tame confession.
If you think I'm a jerk, then I'm a jerk, but there's no need to insult me.

.....and it's not insulting to the nanny to insist you can't hang out with her because she's beneath you?

I said that I was sure we would have nothing in common.

But you don't even know her so you don't know that. If you don't want to hang with the nanny, fine. But own it. Don't act like it's cultural. Maybe you like the same books, tv shows, etc.

Pffft come on. The nanny probably went to public school. She doesn't even know what books are.

I know you're being sarcastic, but it's sad reality that most people who finish public high school in Peru read at a very basic level. I don't know about this nanny, I've been in her presence maybe ten times, but that's the reality in my country.

Aussie45 · September 2014

pevila said:

Kimbus22 said:

QueSyrah said:

pevila said:

QueSyrah said:

pevila said:

Gastro said:

pevila said:

Gastro said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).
Wtf. Giving a piece of chocolate is a cultural thing fine, no big deal. Being a bigot, is being a bigot. Humans decency and equality is a basic human right. It's not okay anywhere. If you are educated then it's time for you to be a common decent person. Evolve.

I don't understand.

I'm saying giving a piece of chocolate for breakfast is/can be a cultural thing. Being a jerk is not.

I meant that giving a piece of chocolate to DD for breakfast would be a tame confession.
If you think I'm a jerk, then I'm a jerk, but there's no need to insult me.

.....and it's not insulting to the nanny to insist you can't hang out with her because she's beneath you?

I said that I was sure we would have nothing in common.

But you don't even know her so you don't know that. If you don't want to hang with the nanny, fine. But own it. Don't act like it's cultural. Maybe you like the same books, tv shows, etc.

Pffft come on. The nanny probably went to public school. She doesn't even know what books are.

I know you're being sarcastic, but it's sad reality that most people who finish public high school in Peru read at a very basic level. I don't know about this nanny, I've been in her presence maybe ten times, but that's the reality in my country.

Last time I checked, people didn't need to be able to read to hold a conversation.

penguingrrl · September 2014

Kimbus22 said:

penguingrrl said:

notkateanymore said:

CnAmom said:

I think we all sort of gravitate towards people we have things in common with. The thing is that most of us can still make polite conversation with the nanny or the lunch lady because we don't see those people as being somehow beneath us and not worthy of our efforts to be nice.

I agree with this 100% but some people were giving off the vibe that they would just totally be OK. I personally will talk to ANYBODY probably too much in fact, but I won't lie and say I wouldn't be uncomfortable having somebody send their employee to my house to hang out with me. It's just odd.

Me too. I talk to anyone and everyone and am a very friendly person. That doesn't mean that it isn't awkward as hell for someone to send their employee to your home in their stead.

I don't see why making conversation with someone is any more uncomfortable when that person is a nanny than when it is a mother. She's not friends with either of them. They're both virtually strangers to her. Why is it okay if the stranger who comes over is a mother but not if the stranger is a nanny? Either way you're sitting in your house making polite conversation with someone you know nothing about.

That is true. Not knowing either makes it awkward no matter what.

pevila · September 2014

I'm glad to have provided some entertainment, but I have to pick up DD from preschool.

I do understand your points of view, I do, and I don't think it's necessary for you to understand mine.

penguingrrl · September 2014

I'll add that I've had some hyper awkward playdates with other moms too. Sometimes you hit it off and sometimes you don't. I usually steer my kids away from that person's kids then so I don't have to deal with them again.

pevila · September 2014

Kimbus22 said:

pevila said:

Kimbus22 said:

QueSyrah said:

pevila said:

QueSyrah said:

pevila said:

Gastro said:

Gastro said:

Lindsay9911 said:

Peruvian Culture or not, you realize it's rude/ snobby or you wouldn't have posted it in FFC.

Oh, I know how it would look like to people from a different culture. That's why I posted. I didn't want to post about DH giving chocolate to DD for breakfast or something like that. People are always asking for something juicy (and honest).
Wtf. Giving a piece of chocolate is a cultural thing fine, no big deal. Being a bigot, is being a bigot. Humans decency and equality is a basic human right. It's not okay anywhere. If you are educated then it's time for you to be a common decent person. Evolve.

I don't understand.
I'm saying giving a piece of chocolate for breakfast is/can be a cultural thing. Being a jerk is not.

I meant that giving a piece of chocolate to DD for breakfast would be a tame confession.
If you think I'm a jerk, then I'm a jerk, but there's no need to insult me.

.....and it's not insulting to the nanny to insist you can't hang out with her because she's beneath you?

I said that I was sure we would have nothing in common.

But you don't even know her so you don't know that. If you don't want to hang with the nanny, fine. But own it. Don't act like it's cultural. Maybe you like the same books, tv shows, etc.

Pffft come on. The nanny probably went to public school. She doesn't even know what books are.

I know you're being sarcastic, but it's sad reality that most people who finish public high school in Peru read at a very basic level. I don't know about this nanny, I've been in her presence maybe ten times, but that's the reality in my country.

I get that you have huge class disparity in Peru. That is not unique to your country. Reading at a basic level does not make you any less a person. If you can't find enough in common with another human being to survive an hour with them, I have no idea what to tell you.

I know exaggeration is a debating technique, but you're exaggerating too much, or reading too much into what I'm saying.

goillini823 · September 2014

pevila said:
I'm glad to have provided some entertainment, but I have to pick up DD from preschool.
I do understand your points of view, I do, and I don't think it's necessary for you to understand mine.

The problem is that some of us do understand your culture, and what you are saying has nothing to do with your culture.

pevila · September 2014

goillini823 said: I'm glad to have provided some entertainment, but I have to pick up DD from preschool. I do understand your points of view, I do, and I don't think it's necessary for you to understand mine. The problem is that some of us do understand your culture, and what you are saying has nothing to do with your culture. But I've said those are my points of view.

Aussie45 · September 2014

sing4mysavior said:

But she didn't say I'm bummed I'm missing out on hanging with the mom instead of the nanny...I was hoping to form a long term relationship with this family. It was...oh the nanny's coming and she's uneducated and a different class than me so I'll just let my housekeeper play because she's "down there" too. And these girls?! They see neither mom engaging with them. They see both moms being snobby about who they associate with...who is equal class with them ...and the cycle continues.

This times a million. If I could love tit twice, I would.

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