Push Gifts

Shortstack06 · September 2014

ColeyCannoli said:

I think it's super sweet when the SO (or anyone) gets you something special after the birth. But I made the mistake of Googling this phenomena and some of the stories about women demanding super expensive presents really have a disturbing subtext. Instead of we had a baby that we both wanted and love, it's "I made you a baby so you have to get me a car and diamonds." It's not our duty to have babies, so why is it our husband's duty to reward us for having them?

This is how I feel, if my husband did a thoughtful gift like a PP and the birth stone necklace I would be in awe but I am not going to say here I want this. My friend that brought it up is one of those gimme gimme people. They are losing money on trading their vehicle in because she "needs" an Explorer. Then it is "I can't get the one i want", so sorry you have to settle for the limited edition. He is selling his 2010 truck also to get rid of the payment so she can get it and he bought a beater truck for work. This is just the tip of the iceberg on it and I want to smack some sense into him. I also know their financials aren't my business but it is hard to watch poor management.

JaymeeLH · September 2014

ColeyCannoli said:

I think it's super sweet when the SO (or anyone) gets you something special after the birth. But I made the mistake of Googling this phenomena and some of the stories about women demanding super expensive presents really have a disturbing subtext. Instead of we had a baby that we both wanted and love, it's "I made you a baby so you have to get me a car and diamonds." It's not our duty to have babies, so why is it our husband's duty to reward us for having them?

The only people I can imagine making these demands are the ones that literally sign a prenup saying they'll have X amount of kids. Yes, these people exist, unfortunately in large numbers where I grew up. These are the same people that have their nanny pick up/drop off their kid at daycare as soon as they open, and fire their nannies every few months so their kids don't get too attached to them.

ColeyCannoli · September 2014

JaymeeLH said:

ColeyCannoli said:

I think it's super sweet when the SO (or anyone) gets you something special after the birth. But I made the mistake of Googling this phenomena and some of the stories about women demanding super expensive presents really have a disturbing subtext. Instead of we had a baby that we both wanted and love, it's "I made you a baby so you have to get me a car and diamonds." It's not our duty to have babies, so why is it our husband's duty to reward us for having them?

The only people I can imagine making these demands are the ones that literally sign a prenup saying they'll have X amount of kids. Yes, these people exist, unfortunately in large numbers where I grew up. These are the same people that have their nanny pick up/drop off their kid at daycare as soon as they open, and fire their nannies every few months so their kids don't get too attached to them.

Ugh god bleh... I know I shouldn't be shocked but man is that gross. I don't care if people want to marry for money or any horrible reason but just don't bring innocent kids into it. World is messed up enough with that crap.

kwikwi8181 · September 2014

Yes. I will require a push present....a 12inch cold cut with hot peppers from the local deli. My DH knows this...as do my mom and sis. That is def my first post-delivery meal. Other than that...no gifts. We just had a baby....let's save our money to clothe and feed it!

mrsrroberson · September 2014

Call me high maintenance but I am gonna need ALL THE SUSHI!

In regards to jewelry, I have expressed that I want this bracelet that holds tiny coin charms with each of the kids initials engraved on it. But not necessarily as a PG. And it can be later. We also are in need of a bigger vehicle, so that'll be a PG for both of us. Lol

colliebabe · September 2014

@rileymom Ooooo I loved those boots! I am so jealous.

With DD my husband did get me a pair of earrings with diamonds in them that I wasn't expecting at all. I am wearing them right now actually. This time I don't think I'll get anything and I am ok with that - I never wanted a push present but MH surprised me with the earrings.

JunkieBrewster · September 2014

leosmom25 said:

Ok I also need to see these boots.

With DS, DH bought me an engagement ring and gave it to me in the hospital, but I don't think that can really be considered a push present. I won't object if he gets me one this time but I certainly won't be expecting it. My push present is the epidural.

Clearly, I should read all the posts before commenting.

leoandethansmom · September 2014

JunkieBrewster said:

leosmom25 said:

Ok I also need to see these boots.

With DS, DH bought me an engagement ring and gave it to me in the hospital, but I don't think that can really be considered a push present. I won't object if he gets me one this time but I certainly won't be expecting it. My push present is the epidural.

Clearly, I should read all the posts before commenting.

It's ok, I still like you. Plus, we think alike.

xc1148 · September 2014

I had never heard of this until I moved to the South....I'm not demanding anything but my husband will probably buy me something, he likes buying presents for me. My guess would be food + jewelry lol.

Meether · September 2014

Rileymom1 said:

I just bought my own push present, a $400 pair of boots that will last years! Really, I'm just a cheapy who never splurges so I needed a reason and that sounded like a good one. Ha!! I've had two kids so far and the only gift I received was, well......nothing!

Ha I'm also debating getting these $400 boots too. They fit well and are well made but most importantly they fit well...I have a 13 inch calf circumference and most boots are slouchy on me, except these.
last time DH got me a neverfull LV bag as a present for everything. She was about 8 weeks and he said he thought I was going to die during childbirth seeing how hard it was. Then he said that I was so great with the baby and all the adjustments. So he asked my sister what to get me and she said get the bag because it's something I would never get myself but would love to have one. This time around, he will probably get me a new lens since that's my only wants. Not sure if he will get me something Nor do I expect it, but if he does, I can guess it will be a lens

Eora3 · September 2014

My DH is not terribly romantic and we don't do a whole lot of gift-giving in general. I would never demand or expect a gift (pretty sure that's not really a "gift" at that point).

The whole push gift thing rubs me the wrong way. I am not against a token of appreciation/acknowlegement (pregnancy and childbirth is rough) but it seems like people take it to an unnecessary extreme which changes the whole connotation. It begins to feel like payment or compensation. I don't have babies as a service to my husband. If that is what it is about for some people, I honestly think you are just doing it wrong. Lol

I will probably order myself another stackable ring with the new baby's name on it from Etsy.

Buuuuut I have been drooling over Frye boots for a while. I got a pair for Christmas last year and had to return them because they just didn't fit right. I might have to go up a size and see if I can make them work.

Meether · September 2014

Eora3 said:

Buuuuut I have been drooling over Frye boots for a while. I got a pair for Christmas last year and had to return them because they just didn't fit right. I might have to go up a size and see if I can make them work.

I have frye shoes and have to always size up. They feel big in the beginning but then eventually fit perfectly. I have them in flats and ankle boots. They do not wear because they are leather, I find myself only wearing these shoes because they are comfortable and so low maintenance. The boots I'm looking at are frye, I'd definitely recommend re trying.

leoandethansmom · September 2014

bvsbabymomma said:

For those of you buying cameras I will offer a litte bit of friendly advice. We made a big stink out of getting a nice new camera to get pictures of DS all the time. I think I have used the camera about 8 times in 2 years; all of our pictures taken at home and events and such are on our phones. They are just so much easier because they're almost always on us (mine is a company phone and I'm on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week) and they're more convenient than also carrying a camera. Just my two cents, not that anyone asked for it!
@leosmom25, your two cents are always welcome! I'm a freak and never use my phone for photos. I'm one of the only people I know who still insists on carrying around my real camera. I had a great little Canon point and shoot that I loved and my friend dropped it in the ocean a few months ago (I of course cried like a hormonal pregnant lady). So we just bought a DSLR to replace it and also as our "push present" but not really, just a present to each other to celebrate baby. I'm sure some photos will be snapped on my phone as well though!

I'm actually super jealous you use yours. I just have a hard time lugging the diaper bag plus the camera bag and whatever else has to come with us that day. We have a really nice canon camera too, I really should use it more.

mightymango · September 2014

I think the healthy baby is worth more than anything you can buy. I cant imagine anything else.

Wulfgar · September 2014

Does the 15 bottles of wine that I bought for MW to drink after this LO comes out count? I will also get her what ever she wants to eat once we are in the maternity ward instead of the delivery ward.

hollieandaaron2012 · September 2014

I would never expect or demand one but I wouldn't complain either.

When we got married we said we would get me another wedding band after we had our first kid but I doubt he remembers and it isn't important enough for me to remind him. I just got a cheap but lovely estate band and they had others that I liked that would go with the one I have too.

weezy29 · September 2014

RaeChay said:

dapple88 said:

@Rileymom1‌ you inspired me... I got my fryes! I got the Veronica slouch.

my veronica slouches are my favs

Yea for other Frye lovers! It actually says to get Fryes true to size because they will stretch a bit. These are boots that will last 10 years, other than heel replacement so even though they are pricey, they are worth it.

And FYI: They do run 30% off at Neiman Marcus a couple times throughout the Fall if anyone is willing to wait a month or so!

mrsmikedexter · September 2014

Yup, I'm also in the food-as-push-present camp. My H has promised to get me a cheesy turkey sandwich with cilantro dressing from my favorite deli as soon as it opens after I give birth (my mom still speaks lovingly of the big sandwich she devoured after the birth of my sister). Oh, god, what if she's born on a Sunday and they're not open???? I better look into one of those massages...

racheldiaries · September 2014

I wouldn't consider it a push present but we're getting a Canon Rebel camera as joint "Christmas" gift that I'm buying in a few weeks. DH will be gone most of next year, so I figured it was time for us to invest in a nice camera so I could document.

Cheekers2010 · September 2014

Food! All the ffood. Especially all the food I can't eat while pregnant. So, no...I'm in the push presents are kind of weird camp.

cwamble · September 2014

When my husband and I got married we decided that when we were finally blessed with a child i would get another diamond band for my wedding set (that matches my wedding band). We decided it would be a nice symbol of our family unit as well as the promise we would be making to eachother and our child!

Kmm1023 · September 2014

I never heard of it until the bump! The whole thing is odd to me!

kelsz12 · September 2014

If any of you ever get bored and use Instagram, just search the hashtag '#pushpresent.' These women get/expect cars, diamonds and expensive shoes/purses. It makes me roll my eyes so hard. My push present to myself is not being pregnant anymore.

bowlwoman · September 2014

My FIL owns a small vineyard and boutique winery in Northern California, so I think it's only fitting that he send me a case of wine for presenting him with his first and (most likely) only grandson.

I'm not into all that paternalistic nonsense, but if it scores me a free case of wine I can do some sucking up.

Shortstack06 · September 2014

RaeChay said:

clearly we need to start a wine and/or booze thread once we get close to December...I want to know what EVERYBODY is drinking

I could go for a bottle of Moscato D'Asti...

beachy6 · September 2014

My push present is amazing and it makes me cry every time I think of it...

My DH won't be in Iraq this time and he'll meet this LO right away rather than at 6 months old. Couldn't think of a better gift than to be able to experience this together.

Now, I'm going to look at boots online.

soulcupcake · September 2014

A really good meal and some wine. The whole concept of a "push present" is pretty alien to me.

rshamos · September 2014

Food! I have requested a lox sandwich from Chompies. But now it seems petty, @beachy6‌ that is so wonderful that he gets to be there. I am so happy for you!

Eora3 · September 2014

I am having a glass of wine as soon as I can get my older son to go to bed.

I will not feel bad about it in the least.

leoandethansmom · September 2014

I'm pretty sure @beachy6 has the best gift of any of us. That is so wonderful for you and your family.

Now I have a very serious question. How have I never heard of Frye boots in my life? I looked them up today and I'm now in love with something I cannot afford right now and that's not fair.

brittandjp · September 2014

I'm in the camp that if he thought of something on his own without threats or comments from others, then I think it's a sweet gesture. I'd NEVER expect anything, much less ask for a gift or even suggest the idea. I doubt he even knows what a push gift is and that's A-Okay with me!

Telling your husband he needs to get you a push gift or ever even giving the hint that you're expecting one is SO tacky. Might as well through your own baby shower while you're at it.

ScarlettsMommy0515 · September 2014

I think it's nice to get a thoughtful present from my husband after 9 months of making a baby and the long painful labour it takes to bring the sweet angel into the world. I don't think it needs to be something extravagant but a little something with a little thought behind it would make me feel appreciated.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

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BLH2014 · September 2014

I doubt my husband has ever even heard of the concept of a push present, and that's fine by me since I'd never expect one. He is the type that will surprise me with little candy treats, so if he brings me some pretzel M&M's in the hospital, I'd be plenty happy with that.

aksue22 · September 2014

Slaps said:
So, to those ladies who are getting push pressies, are you buying your husband a gift to?
I mean it took two of you to make a baby you both wanted, yes we carry, grow and push it out, but it is something you wanted to do.
So I was just curious as to wether you get him something to for his contribution?

I think I'd have to get my RE one, too.

acac104 · September 2014

I am getting a push gift and it's already we've already agreed on what I am getting. I know that the baby is already a huge present but that's not something he has to work very hard to get(pregnancy and labor is done solely by me) so it is nice to get something as a sign of appreciation for all the hard work and sacrifice.

VyD81 · September 2014

Our healthy baby is the best present I can ever get. I don't need a 'push present', I think it's stupid.

MaineMama · September 2014

My push present will be a new house (because lets be honest, he is the only one working, so its basically a present). Its looking like we wont be into a new place until about 4weeks before I'm due. He'll be doing the moving and unpacking, present enough for me.

MaineMama · September 2014

Courtneylovesjason2 said:

I tried on the Frye boots last year whilst shopping for my birthday and was not happy with the fit. I have flipper feet, very flat and wide. I like Doc's and I'd like a pair of Justin's.

@Courtneylovesjason2, I have these Justin boots and they have held up super well. They also have roomy calves for my fat legs and riding breeches

https://www.justinboots.com/footwear/women/punchy/L7305

leoandethansmom · September 2014

@NandaB I actually completely agree with you. DH and I always go all out for birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's, and our anniversary. I come from a family that also goes overboard on gifts. We know we love each other but it's also really nice to show it in a way that is tangible. Not for others to see but to show the other we know them that well that we can get a gift we know they will love and appreciate. It's not always something fancy, sometimes it's a package of new socks (DH is obsessed with socks) after I've noticed his are getting rough. Like I said previously, he gave me my engagement ring in the hospital with DS. Sure he had been planning it for a while but he felt I deserved the diamond after pushing out our son. I have no idea if I'll be getting a gift this time or not, but I wouldn't be surprised because we love spoiling each other. Is that gift grabby because we're already getting a baby? Maybe, but I don't care.

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