October 2013 Moms

Fffc

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Re: Fffc

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  • @Jalee85 ::hugs:: mama! I felt and still often feel guilt about DD1's issues. 1st was her laryngomalacia and all her complications from that. Did I eat too many sweets or drink too much Coke or did I miss 1 PNV at a critical time? Did I cause her birth defect? Was it 1 Vicodin I took that my OB ok'ed when I had that 11-day migraine that caused high blood pressure because the pain was so bad?

    Then she was delayed in speech. Did I cause that? Did I not speak to her enough? Did I not read enough books to her? Should i have forced her to play with the toys she had zero interest in? Now her tenative dx are SPD, social anxiety and most likely OCD. And \I have social anxiety and OCD so obv that is my fault that she has that- damn genetics. But what about the SPD? Where did she get that? Was it the Pit from the elective induction?

    And the weird thing is that DD2 is starting to follow DD1's speech patterns. She has lost sounds and the 2 words she was saying (which happened to DD1). And I talk all.damn.day. I talk slowly and over-pronounce every word to help DD1, and since DD2 is always with me I know she is hearing it. So at least that part is not something I did wrong. We have a family history of late talkers so I'm thinking that's what it is in our house. DD2 is meeting her milestones early and did have 2 words by 9 months (which is early) and is developing typically.

    Of course that doesn't help with the rest of the issues.

    So yeah- it is really hard when you feel there is something "wrong" with your child. It hurts. I also recognize that is it 100% my issue and feelings. But on bad days I feel like the worst mother in the world. And we are 3 years in and I still have the same feelings. And having DD2 really showcases how different DD1 was compared to other babies (which I already knew but just seeing the differences makes it even more clear)

    But my DD is perfect and yours is too.

    There is a Special Needs board that you might find helpful.

    I know I am rambling. TL;DR I have the same feelings you do. It is normal.

    Awe I know you have struggles with DD1 as well! I also think you said that you used to be a pre-school teacher right? For me I have worked with so many children with developmental delays. I was trying REALLY hard not to compare my child to the children that I have worked with, but it is very hard not to compare. I pretty much knew at the age of 3 months that we might have issues, but I kept telling myself that children have a wide range of normal and to not allow my anxiety to make me worry. I also have some Mommy guilt because I contacted EI for her leg issues and while I mentioned the speech if she didn't have the leg issue. I don't think I would have contacted them. I was going to wait till she hit a year old and if she still wasn't babbling then get her evaluated. Mainly because my child isn't quiet she just isn't making meaningful sounds, so I just figured it was a matter of time thing. I know in my head that this isn't my fault and I'm glad it got caught early, but my heart just aches that she is going to have struggles. Considering I had severe learning dissabilities from my ADD that is not something I want any child to have to face. My hope is that by time she ages out of EI at 3 that she will be caught up. 

    And Delaney had done the same thing with the consonant sounds that she has made. She used to make them and then she just stops! I have even played back video recording of her babbling and she smiles and squeals but doesn't try to imitate the sound. It's so odd. Of course like a few days after her evaluation we were shopping for couches. She was playing with MILs purse strap and put it in her mouth and started babble DaDa again....lol For now she is still saying it, but I'm not sure if she will stop again. 
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  • Jalee85Jalee85 member
    edited September 2014
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  • I'm surprised no one commented on the confession about the extremely drunk sex. Not the fact that a condom wasn't used, who gives a shit about that, but the fact that two extremely drunk people were responsible for a baby. Unless the baby wasn't there? It does make me wonder though.
    DD1 born 9.20.13
    #2 due 12.23.17 

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  • Amjoy25 said:
    NRyan55 said:
    I'm surprised no one commented on the confession about the extremely drunk sex. Not the fact that a condom wasn't used, who gives a shit about that, but the fact that two extremely drunk people were responsible for a baby. Unless the baby wasn't there? It does make me wonder though.
    Meh

    #shedidntmakefunof9-11

    Meh, I've been extremely drunk and had #allthesex while the baby was sleeping. Is this not common? #soulmates @taylormarie923
    My thought is that there should be at least one mostly-sober adult in the home in case of emergency. Maybe others disagree.

    Humm... I disagree.
    I like drinking as much as the next person but I do worry.
    DD1 born 9.20.13
    #2 due 12.23.17 

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  • psychdoc12psychdoc12 member
    edited September 2014
    I need a husky dog @NRyan55 opinion on this.

    ETA: Oh and just to note I see drinking wine/beer/whatever and having a few drinks as quite different from "extremely drunk."
    DD1 born 9.20.13
    #2 due 12.23.17 

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  • psychdoc12psychdoc12 member
    edited September 2014
    Uhhh thanks for the concern? It would be one thing if I was black out drunk every single night. Every once in a while having a few glasses of wine is nbd. Furthermore, if I was sober and there was an emergency, my response would be the same. I would never load up the car and drive to the ER myself.
    Maybe it's a matter of semantics. Or tolerance. I would never call a few glasses of wine extremely drunk. I'm thinking back to college days and 7 mixed drinks or shots and collapsing into bed.
    DD1 born 9.20.13
    #2 due 12.23.17 

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  • huntjul said:
    Amjoy25 said:
    NRyan55 said:
    I'm surprised no one commented on the confession about the extremely drunk sex. Not the fact that a condom wasn't used, who gives a shit about that, but the fact that two extremely drunk people were responsible for a baby. Unless the baby wasn't there? It does make me wonder though.
    Meh

    #shedidntmakefunof9-11

    Meh, I've been extremely drunk and had #allthesex while the baby was sleeping. Is this not common? #soulmates @taylormarie923
    My thought is that there should be at least one mostly-sober adult in the home in case of emergency. Maybe others disagree.

    Humm... I disagree.
    I like drinking as much as the next person but I do worry.
    That just means you haven't drunk enough yet.
    FFFC I have a rum and coke in front of me.
    DD1 born 9.20.13
    #2 due 12.23.17 

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  • huntjul said:
    Amjoy25 said:
    NRyan55 said:
    I'm surprised no one commented on the confession about the extremely drunk sex. Not the fact that a condom wasn't used, who gives a shit about that, but the fact that two extremely drunk people were responsible for a baby. Unless the baby wasn't there? It does make me wonder though.
    Meh

    #shedidntmakefunof9-11

    Meh, I've been extremely drunk and had #allthesex while the baby was sleeping. Is this not common? #soulmates @taylormarie923
    My thought is that there should be at least one mostly-sober adult in the home in case of emergency. Maybe others disagree.

    Humm... I disagree.
    I like drinking as much as the next person but I do worry.
    That just means you haven't drunk enough yet.
    FFFC I have a rum and coke in front of me.
    Just one?
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  • Just one :( A strong one, but one nonetheless.
    DD1 born 9.20.13
    #2 due 12.23.17 

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  • @psychdoc12‌ Just to be clear, you are judging me because our tolerance level and/or definition of "glass" might vary?
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