Fffc

Jenball717 · September 2014

Jalee85 said:

This is a confession that may turn into a Dear Diary post. All of these BFPs have given me serious baby fever. Maybe so much so I told DH last night that I'm holding off on making an appt to get an IUD. I'm pretty sure that I am ovulating right now, so I want to decide when I'm not so hormonal. Anyways, the Dear Diary part is DH said that we should wait till we know what is wrong with D. I think he fears she may have brain damage. I think the EI people would have said something if they thought so but I also irrationally fear it. My Mom has a TBI from birth and she is displaying similar symptoms. My other fear is that Im either a bad SAHM and not doing enough with her or she has my ADD. I know rationally I shouldn't worry about that, but I just got that Mommy Guilt right now. Sorry but just had to get that off my chest!!!!

Hugs! I'm sure it's a stressful situation. Regardless, she is a beautiful child and lovely and smart and incredible.

Jenball717 · September 2014

chelseyestelle said:

My husband got another interview in St. Louis! Wooooo! This is not flammable.. Just amazing and there's no where else to put it!!

I have been wondering how you are, haven't seen you so much for a couple days. Happy to see good news! Congrats to him!

Phalaenopsis · September 2014

My kid hates hates HATES car rides. She fell asleep for the first time EVER today since she was like a nooborn. My confession is that I parked next to the dry cleaners door, put my blinkers on, locked the car and ran in to drop the clothes off anyway. She was within 10 feet of me through the glass and visible the whole time but I still I left my baby in the car for a minute. She's still sleeping and I'm catching up on fffc. #ifeelawful #atleastididntmakefunof9-11

psychdoc12 · September 2014

Ajoyd said:

chelseyestelle said:

My husband got another interview in St. Louis! Wooooo!
This is not flammable.. Just amazing and there's no where else to put it!!

Come sit next to me, I will tell you all about STL.

Is this at SLU or Wash U?

Its at SLU! He didn't apply to WASH U because it's crazy hard to get into.

I went to med school at Wash U. I loved it. St Louis is fun

acethebase · September 2014

Maybe this is Flameworthy maybe not but this is just how I'm feeling so here we go. I've blocked a lot of people on TB and Facebook who have recently found out they're pregnant. I just can't be around that right now. My heart breaks all over again and whatever emotional progress I have made, vanishes. I just keep thinking " that should be me right now." I know it's not anyone's fault that I lost my baby but I just can't right now.....

trackgirlparis · September 2014

hartsl01 said:
flame suit on... My BFF is due with baby #2 in December. She's a SAHM and is always complaining to me about how she doesn't have time to clean her house and how her DH won't let her hire a cleaning lady and it must be so nice because who has time to scrub toilets. Flameful part - I don't get how she doesn't have time to clean her house. I work f/t and have 2 side businesses and yes, I have a cleaning lady because I don't have time nor do I want to spend the time cleaning. She goes on about how her DS takes a 4 hour nap every afternoon and this is the best pregnancy because she's got so much energy. Somebody please enlighten me about how she doesn't have time to scrub a toilet or mop her floors.

#flamefulbutididnotmakefunof9-11

Uh yeah, I don't get that either. I'm a SAHM and my house definitely isn't as clean as I would like it, but I just got done vacuuming the downstairs, stairs and upstairs and all the toilets. DD was just hanging out with me. Yeah, getting into things, but I would just stop the vacuum and redirect her. Takes me longer to clean now, but I still can clean.

hlb622 · September 2014

Lee81 said:
My fffc is that I tried snooping on M15 to see what kinds of people Carriet and hlb, and Gator, and now Tashad (congratulations!) will be hanging around with. You know, in case their new friends are bad influences. I got bored before I could even check out a post. I saw a bunch of names I didn't recognize and a sea of threads I wasn't invested in and I said nevermind. If I ever get pregnant again, I'm not sure I'll have the attention span to start all over on a brand new board.

DUDE. I know. I pop in and out but I feel like I'll be too wolfpack for them and the butthurt will be all too plenty. And the mod coming into every. single. intro. and encouraging them to read the stickies is making me fucking stabby.

#willyoukeepus
#idontwanttositwiththem

hartsl01 · September 2014

acethebase said:

Maybe this is Flameworthy maybe not but this is just how I'm feeling so here we go. I've blocked a lot of people on TB and Facebook who have recently found out they're pregnant. I just can't be around that right now. My heart breaks all over again and whatever emotional progress I have made, vanishes. I just keep thinking " that should be me right now." I know it's not anyone's fault that I lost my baby but I just can't right now.....

Not flameworthy! Hugs mama!

chelseyestelle · September 2014

@Ajoyd‌ probs not. We poor.

Herefishy87 · September 2014

acethebase said:
Maybe this is Flameworthy maybe not but this is just how I'm feeling so here we go. I've blocked a lot of people on TB and Facebook who have recently found out they're pregnant. I just can't be around that right now. My heart breaks all over again and whatever emotional progress I have made, vanishes. I just keep thinking " that should be me right now." I know it's not anyone's fault that I lost my baby but I just can't right now.....

This is far from flame worthy. Everyone copes differently with loss, you do what you have to do.
I'm so sorry ((hugs))

Jenball717 · September 2014

carriet2018 said:
pretty sure i just had sex with a burrito #attheveryleastwegottosecondbase

Sounds messy...

hartsl01 · September 2014

SeeJayEmm said:

@hartsl01‌ I don't get that either...I'm a SAHM and while my house isn't as clean as I would like it, I'm always picking things up throughout the day or doing dishes while he eats breakfast. It's not that hard.

That's what I was thinking! I'd LOVE to be a SAHM because I'd get so much more time with ds. I know my house wouldn't be super clean, but at least it wouldn't be dirty. I just don't get it.

dovetail223 · September 2014

Just lurked on the May 2015 board. It made me realize how little I knew back then. Some of the stuff you are concerned about when you are first knocked up is just so insignificant in hind sight.

catycate · September 2014

Jalee85 said:

This is a confession that may turn into a Dear Diary post. All of these BFPs have given me serious baby fever. Maybe so much so I told DH last night that I'm holding off on making an appt to get an IUD. I'm pretty sure that I am ovulating right now, so I want to decide when I'm not so hormonal. Anyways, the Dear Diary part is DH said that we should wait till we know what is wrong with D. I think he fears she may have brain damage. I think the EI people would have said something if they thought so but I also irrationally fear it. My Mom has a TBI from birth and she is displaying similar symptoms. My other fear is that Im either a bad SAHM and not doing enough with her or she has my ADD. I know rationally I shouldn't worry about that, but I just got that Mommy Guilt right now. Sorry but just had to get that off my chest!!!! ETA - I just hit my goal weight (my wedding weight) and now I want to get KTFU again go figure.... Lol

I'm so sorry you feel this way. You are it not the only parent that feels that way going into EI, I promise. I think the fact that you are even thinking about it shows what a good mom you are. And you are doing the best possible thing by getting intervention as early as you have- many families and doctors choose the wait and see method bc there is such a huge range, which can been a huge mistake-the earlier the EI the better. Also, Pinterest has made people think babies need more activities then then do. All you needed to give her was love and security to explore her world. Be kind to yourself.

hartsl01 · September 2014

I never knew that whole milk was the same as Vitamin D milk until a few months ago. I've never been a big milk drinker and never paid attention.

Herefishy87 · September 2014

@tashad18‌ OMG CONGRATS!! Sooooo many babies coming!!!!

MissLauraPants · September 2014

Jalee85 said:

This is a confession that may turn into a Dear Diary post. All of these BFPs have given me serious baby fever. Maybe so much so I told DH last night that I'm holding off on making an appt to get an IUD. I'm pretty sure that I am ovulating right now, so I want to decide when I'm not so hormonal. Anyways, the Dear Diary part is DH said that we should wait till we know what is wrong with D. I think he fears she may have brain damage. I think the EI people would have said something if they thought so but I also irrationally fear it. My Mom has a TBI from birth and she is displaying similar symptoms. My other fear is that Im either a bad SAHM and not doing enough with her or she has my ADD. I know rationally I shouldn't worry about that, but I just got that Mommy Guilt right now. Sorry but just had to get that off my chest!!!! ETA - I just hit my goal weight (my wedding weight) and now I want to get KTFU again go figure.... Lol

stuck in a box

Please don't think you are doing anything wrong, you are doing all that you need to be doing right now. I know we as moms feel guilty but you have not done anything but be proactive about finding what is going on with her. I know you will get your answers with time. And you cannot diagnose a baby with ADD just fyi so keep up the good work with her.

chelseyestelle · September 2014

psychdoc12 said:

Ajoyd said:

chelseyestelle said:

My husband got another interview in St. Louis! Wooooo!
This is not flammable.. Just amazing and there's no where else to put it!!

Come sit next to me, I will tell you all about STL.

Is this at SLU or Wash U?

Its at SLU! He didn't apply to WASH U because it's crazy hard to get into.

I went to med school at Wash U. I loved it. St Louis is fun

You're amazing @psychdoc12‌. That just proves it.

Jalee85 · September 2014

@acethebase‌

My heart breaks for you, because I was in your same shoes 11 years ago. A friend of mine got pregnant a month or two later and luckily had a healthy little boy. When I first met him he projectile spit up all over me and all I could think is. Why can't my baby get to do the same thing! I went into the bathroom and ugly cried and then felt guilty. Please don't feel guilty you have a right to mourn your loss. I moved away 2 years later and had no further contact with her. When I joined FB this friend added me. I had finally worked through the loss and accepted her request. We had a nice message back and forth about our lives and all seemed to be good with my emotions. Until I saw a post a few months later about her sons 1st day of school. It brought back sore memories and I ALMOST removed her as a friend, but something clicked in me and I started going through all of her old pics on FB and the crazy thing is I started to feel pride for this child. I realized that while I would never have my child. I could live vicariously through hers. Not let me remind you I joined FB in 2009 and miscarried in Dec of 2002, so it was a long process. Then when I became pregnant for the 2nd time when she announced 5 days after me with her pregnancy while I was happy for her my mind jumped to PLEASE don't make me go through this all over again. It gave me a lot feels when her son had a proud big brother shirt on their announcement. I almost removed her again, but luckily everything worked out this time.

The pain will never go away or be forgotten and just when you think you have a handle on things life throws a curve ball at you.

I hope with time you can heal and maybe even forge an amazing relationship with one of these babies, in the future. It's not a relationship my friend even knows about maybe one day I'll tell her about all my feels, but for now I just creepy internet stalk them....lol

I am nearly 12 years removed from the point you are at, so Im not suggesting you do anything different. I'm just hoping my experience will help you understand that your feeling are 120% normal and to not feel guilty about them. It's a process. I really really hope this post comes across in the right way! Creepy Internet Hugs @acethebase‌

hlb622 · September 2014

Jenball717 said:

carriet2018 said:
pretty sure i just had sex with a burrito #attheveryleastwegottosecondbase
Sounds messy...

Sounds delicious.

hlb622 · September 2014

I'm terrified to go through my maternity clothes because I'm pretty sure they're too fucking small.

#badonkadonk

hlb622 · September 2014

Im so sorry, @acethebase‌. ((allthehugs))

psychdoc12 · September 2014

chelseyestelle said:

chelseyestelle said:

My husband got another interview in St. Louis! Wooooo! This is not flammable.. Just amazing and there's no where else to put it!!

Come sit next to me, I will tell you all about STL.

Is this at SLU or Wash U?
Its at SLU! He didn't apply to WASH U because it's crazy hard to get into.
I went to med school at Wash U. I loved it. St Louis is fun
You're amazing @psychdoc12‌. That just proves it.

But thank you!

acethebase · September 2014

@Jalee85‌ thank you for that! Yesterday was especially hard... My pastors wife stopped by to visit since we haven't went to church since it happened. I know this is going to sound crazy but I just don't want people to say "how are you doing?/ how have you been?" My mind goes back to the miscarriage and I automatically break down.
So she comes in and I notice she is pregnant with her 7th child (I could tell!!) we talk for a while and she tells me she's never had a miscarriage. I couldn't help but feel such envy, anger, jealousy and bitterness towards her (and every other pregnant woman right now). I feel like a horrible person for feeling this way because I really am fond of her...It's not her fault. But really I just have a miscarriage and you walk in my house pregnant?!? Slap in the fucking face! My heart was torn out of my chest once again. I laid in bed last night hysterical... Im finding it hard to live right now, I feel like I'm just surviving not living. The pain isn't getting any better I'm not sure what to do... Sorry for the rant. I keep so much stuff bottled in I just have to get it out some where. Ok I'm done raining on everyone's parade now...

SweetCFly · September 2014

@acethebase‌ I'm so sorry mamma. I also think your feelings are 120% normal. I had 2 chemical pregnancies in a row before I got preg with DS. The second happened right as one of my closest work friends announced her pregnancy and it was a strange time in our friendship... My group of work friends essentially closed me out of our little circle of friends because I was having a hard time dealing with my grief from 2 CPs in a row and was scared shitless newly pregnant.

It's still not the same and I feel so shitty about that and sad... but it was a devastating time for me and until you have a MC it's impossible to understand. I hope you will feel better soon.

Big hugs to you.

acethebase · September 2014

@SweetCFly‌ thank you for sharing that! >:D<

PinkDahLia44 · September 2014

@acethebase said:
@Jalee85‌ thank you for that! Yesterday was especially hard... My pastors wife stopped by to visit since we haven't went to church since it happened. I know this is going to sound crazy but I just don't want people to say "how are you doing?/ how have you been?" My mind goes back to the miscarriage and I automatically break down.
So she comes in and I notice she is pregnant with her 7th child (I could tell!!) we talk for a while and she tells me she's never had a miscarriage. I couldn't help but feel such envy, anger, jealousy and bitterness towards her (and every other pregnant woman right now). I feel like a horrible person for feeling this way because I really am fond of her...It's not her fault. But really I just have a miscarriage and you walk in my house pregnant?!? Slap in the fucking face! My heart was torn out of my chest once again. I laid in bed last night hysterical... Im finding it hard to live right now, I feel like I'm just surviving not living. The pain isn't getting any better I'm not sure what to do... Sorry for the rant. I keep so much stuff bottled in I just have to get it out some where. Ok I'm done raining on everyone's parade now...

Have you tried therapy? I didn't do it bc I figured I didn't have the time, but my doctor strongly recommended it and I probably would have benefitted from it. I felt exactly the same way you do now, and it sucked, and it lasted for longer than even I realized (about six months) but then it got better. I'm sorry that you are going through this, but it does get better. Hang in there. Take care of yourself.

acethebase · September 2014

PinkDahLia44 said:

@acethebase said:
@Jalee85‌ thank you for that! Yesterday was especially hard... My pastors wife stopped by to visit since we haven't went to church since it happened. I know this is going to sound crazy but I just don't want people to say "how are you doing?/ how have you been?" My mind goes back to the miscarriage and I automatically break down.
So she comes in and I notice she is pregnant with her 7th child (I could tell!!) we talk for a while and she tells me she's never had a miscarriage. I couldn't help but feel such envy, anger, jealousy and bitterness towards her (and every other pregnant woman right now). I feel like a horrible person for feeling this way because I really am fond of her...It's not her fault. But really I just have a miscarriage and you walk in my house pregnant?!? Slap in the fucking face! My heart was torn out of my chest once again. I laid in bed last night hysterical... Im finding it hard to live right now, I feel like I'm just surviving not living. The pain isn't getting any better I'm not sure what to do... Sorry for the rant. I keep so much stuff bottled in I just have to get it out some where. Ok I'm done raining on everyone's parade now...
Have you tried therapy? I didn't do it bc I figured I didn't have the time, but my doctor strongly recommended it and I probably would have benefitted from it. I felt exactly the same way you do now, and it sucked, and it lasted for longer than even I realized (about six months) but then it got better. I'm sorry that you are going through this, but it does get better. Hang in there. Take care of yourself.

Next week I'm going to be trying out biblical therapy and see how that goes but I don't know if I'll feel completely comfortable. I just don't want her to judge me for these feeling I've been having...

sweettooth87 · September 2014

ncase2 said:

I think @sweettooth87's hair should have it's own FB page. I'm a bit jealous of her luscious locks.
#tellmeyourhairsecrets #creepyinternetstalker
#notreallyIswearIjustlikeyourhair
#dammitthatstillsoundscreepy

haha omg you're hilarious. Thank you! No secrets, I'm probably the worst in regards to 'hair care'. I don't use/own any styling products (like mouse or hairspray) and just buy whatever shampoo/conditioner smells good!

Phalaenopsis · September 2014

ElleStaxx said:

My kid hates hates HATES car rides. She fell asleep for the first time EVER today since she was like a nooborn. My confession is that I parked next to the dry cleaners door, put my blinkers on, locked the car and ran in to drop the clothes off anyway. She was within 10 feet of me through the glass and visible the whole time but I still I left my baby in the car for a minute. She's still sleeping and I'm catching up on fffc. #ifeelawful #atleastididntmakefunof9-11
God I love a reason for Lady J!!

Pearl-clutching noted + deserved

dovetail223 · September 2014

beernifer said:
I am here. Am working. My confession was too much and i understand how everyone is upset. As you can see from these screenshots, we are horrible people and deserve it all. I made an ass virginity joke on 9/11.

So I was willing to overlook the 911 jokes. But it's really wrong to post ppls whole names and someone's phone number on a message board without their knowledge or consent.

Lee81 · September 2014

Phalaenopsis said:

ElleStaxx said:

Phalaenopsis said:
My kid hates hates HATES car rides. She fell asleep for the first time EVER today since she was like a nooborn. My confession is that I parked next to the dry cleaners door, put my blinkers on, locked the car and ran in to drop the clothes off anyway. She was within 10 feet of me through the glass and visible the whole time but I still I left my baby in the car for a minute. She's still sleeping and I'm catching up on fffc. #ifeelawful #atleastididntmakefunof9-11
God I love a reason for Lady J!!

Pearl-clutching noted + deserved

I'm finding one of the most stressful things about being a parent is always having to make a judgement call about what is okay to do, what never to do, and where the line is drawn. If I left DD in the car in my driveway and went to the mailbox 10 feet away, no one would bat an eye. If I was in a parking lot returning a cart, probably no issue. Put a glass door between us, and it's judgement worthy. WCM- not a day before 1? Would 11-1/2 months be okay? 11 months? 10? What about blankets in the crib? Plenty of people started much sooner than 1 without getting side-eyed.

I always end up erring on the side of caution but mostly because I don't want to get judged for doing it wrong. I keep wishing a grown up would come along and tell me what issues I absolutely have to stick to the exact letter of the "law" and when it's okay to relax a little.

psychdoc12 · September 2014

dovetail223 said:

I am here. Am working. My confession was too much and i understand how everyone is upset. As you can see from these screenshots, we are horrible people and deserve it all. I made an ass virginity joke on 9/11.
So I was willing to overlook the 911 jokes. But it's really wrong to post ppls whole names and someone's phone number on a message board without their knowledge or consent.

I'm not overlooking either. What the hell.

sleepy33 · September 2014

Man, when Mredvag throws shade on your FFFC, you done messed up, A-aron.

psychdoc12 · September 2014

Free pass for everyone now. What's worse than #a911jokeplusgrossviolationofprivacy

sleepy33 · September 2014

@Lee81‌ you know mweav is not getting flamed for giving cows milk before 12 months, right? Just making sure...

Lee81 · September 2014

dovetail223 said:

beernifer said:
I am here. Am working. My confession was too much and i understand how everyone is upset. As you can see from these screenshots, we are horrible people and deserve it all. I made an ass virginity joke on 9/11.
So I was willing to overlook the 911 jokes. But it's really wrong to post ppls whole names and someone's phone number on a message board without their knowledge or consent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The name and phone number posting doesn't even bug me as much as the fact that you knew we were offended by the fact that you were telling jokes a out a tragedy so you went and posted the actual jokes. What was that supposed to prove? Did you think we would see it and say "my bad, that actually is funny"? Or was is a big "fuck you for not approving of me mocking people's suffering, take that"?

psychdoc12 · September 2014

Lee81 said:

I am here. Am working. My confession was too much and i understand how everyone is upset. As you can see from these screenshots, we are horrible people and deserve it all. I made an ass virginity joke on 9/11.
So I was willing to overlook the 911 jokes. But it's really wrong to post ppls whole names and someone's phone number on a message board without their knowledge or consent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The name and phone number posting doesn't even bug me as much as the fact that you knew we were offended by the fact that you were telling jokes a out a tragedy so you went and posted the actual jokes. What was that supposed to prove? Did you think we would see it and say "my bad, that actually is funny"? Or was is a big "fuck you for not approving of me mocking people's suffering, take that"?

Good point. Double what the hell.

ETA: If you had any doubt, the jokes were juvenile and not even close to funny.

Lee81 · September 2014

sleepy33 said:
@Lee81‌ you know mweav is not getting flamed for giving cows milk before 12 months, right? Just making sure...

Yes! I was just using wcm as an example because it was on my mind thanks to that post. I feel like I have seen other posts where people were starting wcm a bit before 1. I don't need a real grown up to tell me it isn't okay to give a baby 2% milk. Even I can figure that out.

Phalaenopsis · September 2014

Lee81 said:

ElleStaxx said:

My kid hates hates HATES car rides. She fell asleep for the first time EVER today since she was like a nooborn. My confession is that I parked next to the dry cleaners door, put my blinkers on, locked the car and ran in to drop the clothes off anyway. She was within 10 feet of me through the glass and visible the whole time but I still I left my baby in the car for a minute. She's still sleeping and I'm catching up on fffc. #ifeelawful #atleastididntmakefunof9-11
God I love a reason for Lady J!!

Pearl-clutching noted + deserved
I'm finding one of the most stressful things about being a parent is always having to make a judgement call about what is okay to do, what never to do, and where the line is drawn. If I left DD in the car in my driveway and went to the mailbox 10 feet away, no one would bat an eye. If I was in a parking lot returning a cart, probably no issue. Put a glass door between us, and it's judgement worthy. WCM- not a day before 1? Would 11-1/2 months be okay? 11 months? 10? What about blankets in the crib? Plenty of people started much sooner than 1 without getting side-eyed. I always end up erring on the side of caution but mostly because I don't want to get judged for doing it wrong. I keep wishing a grown up would come along and tell me what issues I absolutely have to stick to the exact letter of the "law" and when it's okay to relax a little.

You always have interesting insights. Ultimately someone will always be judging you/me, whether they are right or wrong. For me in this instance it was more about my own self-judgement cause I broke my own rule. It's hard to know where the line is drawn in the cases you mention and I agree some of the lines are arbitrary.

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