UO Thursday

MuffinMom14 · August 2014

dorothyzbornak97 said:

Not trying to stir up shit or anything, but I will say this: There have been multiple situations where it feels like you cannot question someone's actions on this board without incurring the wrath. Everyone is so quick to jump in and defend this board and its members that they never stop to question anything, even when maybe they should. And like I said, this isn't related to one particular situation for me, I've seen it happen multiple times.

Also, I think the whole "us vs. them" thing with people in the FB group is kind of tiresome.

I think it's great that everyone here really likes each other, and support is most certainly a good thing. But like @golfingdarwinfish and @ADH0906 said, sometimes I feel like it gets done blindly, or people are afraid to disagree with the group, and that makes me sigh.

I agree with all of this.

If I open a thread and everyone else has been like THAT IS A GREAT IDEA TO DO THAT but I disagree, I sometimes just leave it alone and close the thread. It's not worth going back and forth over. I'm a people-pleaser. I dislike feeling like everyone disagrees with me. I've also sugar-coated things on this board.

BUT. It's better than the alternative. Other boards I've been on, I couldn't post a fucking thing without being jumped on for not being a reg or disagreeing with a reg. I've been called out for a TON of shit on other boards that this board also does and everyone's ok with. So. If I bite my tongue, because, like lots of people have been saying on this board, why do I care if I think someone's being tacky or someone's doing something wrong, is that so bad? I DO care. I'm ridiculous, and it hurts my brain to NOT speak my mind, but I'm working on it. It's a life lesson. You can't always walk up to someone and say exactly what's on your mind. I normally do, and it normally ends badly. I'm not doing that so much these days on this board, because I'm too exhausted to internet fight.

I'm also one that has to choose my words WISELY. I tend to be VERY blunt and loose with the expletives. So I normally have something typed and just leave.

MuffinMom14 · August 2014

apk4 said:

I don't ever feel like I can't speak my mind or the group will turn on me, but sometimes I feel like I'm trying too hard to fit in or something. I don't really know how to word it.

I don't act any differently or change my thoughts to agree with others, it's just a feeling I get sometimes. Does that make any sense?

Yeah. I also feel like there are posters that don't like me and roll their eyes behind computer screens. Which, you know, who cares, but I was an only child, I need to be told I'm SPECIAL.

MuffinMom14 · August 2014

SusieBW said:

I'm pretty sure I like all the music at least a little bit. I can't think of a single genre of music that I could say "I don't like any of that." There are some artists that I definitely don't like, though.

Country can die in a fire.

And I'm from WV, y'all.

pnwlover12 · August 2014

I'm still quite confused about the whole board dynamic...is it we're too nice, or too mean? I can't keep up.

SusieBW · August 2014

I adore the beach. On any given day, if someone were to ask me if there is anywhere I would rather be, the answer would inevitably be "the beach." That's not unpopular, right? It's just a few of you blasphemers who don't like it? In college, my car used to look sort of like an extension of the beach, because I was there just about every day and it was full of "sand and shit."

LightBright515 · August 2014

pnwlover12 said:

I'm still quite confused about the whole board dynamic...is it we're too nice, or too mean? I can't keep up.

Too nice to some and too mean to most who disagree with the some.

MuffinMom14 · August 2014

pnwlover12 said:

I'm still quite confused about the whole board dynamic...is it we're too nice, or too mean? I can't keep up.

We're too nice, but we should work on being more mean. I think.

MuffinMom14 · August 2014

SusieBW said:

I adore the beach. On any given day, if someone were to ask me if there is anywhere I would rather be, the answer would inevitably be "the beach." That's not unpopular, right? It's just a few of you blasphemers who don't like it? In college, my car used to look sort of like an extension of the beach, because I was there just about every day and it was full of "sand and shit."

Do you enjoy sand in every orifice possible? Do you like chewing on grit? THE BEACH IS DIRTY. AND HOT. AND DIRTY.

I like to take my vacations at home. I don't need to leave my house. I have friends inside the computer.

yella726 · August 2014

SusieBW said:

I adore the beach. On any given day, if someone were to ask me if there is anywhere I would rather be, the answer would inevitably be "the beach." That's not unpopular, right? It's just a few of you blasphemers who don't like it? In college, my car used to look sort of like an extension of the beach, because I was there just about every day and it was full of "sand and shit."

Nope, I'm prettty sure you've got the popular opinion. There are just a few of us Special Snowflakes that don't like it.

I'm just not a summer girl to begin with. Fall is my favorite season, winter my second, spring my third and summer my fourth. I just get hot. And bored. I'm all good with it being 74 tops.

SusieBW · August 2014

SPurp13 said:

SusieBW said:

I'm pretty sure I like all the music at least a little bit. I can't think of a single genre of music that I could say "I don't like any of that." There are some artists that I definitely don't like, though.

Country can die in a fire.

And I'm from WV, y'all.

Overall, I wouldn't call myself a country fan, but there is some country I really, really like. Does Johnny Cash still count as country? Because I love him. Most of the modern country radio songs are not my thing, but even then, I can't say I dislike all of it.

Also, here's a related UO (at least I think it probably unpopular): I like Toby Keith. I even saw him live a few years back, and it was so much fun.

SusieBW · August 2014

SPurp13 said:

SusieBW said:

I adore the beach. On any given day, if someone were to ask me if there is anywhere I would rather be, the answer would inevitably be "the beach." That's not unpopular, right? It's just a few of you blasphemers who don't like it? In college, my car used to look sort of like an extension of the beach, because I was there just about every day and it was full of "sand and shit."

Do you enjoy sand in every orifice possible? Do you like chewing on grit? THE BEACH IS DIRTY. AND HOT. AND DIRTY.

I like to take my vacations at home. I don't need to leave my house. I have friends inside the computer.

LOL!
I also adore beach hair and salty, sandy skin. On days I've been at the beach, I never wash my hair that night, because I like next-day sandy/salty beach hair just as much as day of.

Is it a function of location, I wonder? Do the beach haters live in inland locales? I'm coastal.

MrsSarahRenee · August 2014

SPurp13 said:

SusieBW said:

I adore the beach. On any given day, if someone were to ask me if there is anywhere I would rather be, the answer would inevitably be "the beach." That's not unpopular, right? It's just a few of you blasphemers who don't like it? In college, my car used to look sort of like an extension of the beach, because I was there just about every day and it was full of "sand and shit."

Do you enjoy sand in every orifice possible? Do you like chewing on grit? THE BEACH IS DIRTY. AND HOT. AND DIRTY.

I like to take my vacations at home. I don't need to leave my house. I have friends inside the computer.

I was all like yeah dirty hot beach gross and then you got to vacations at home...

[-(

I loooove vacation! We go on road trips to different national parks. Mountains, lakes, caves, national monuments yes. Or if you go to the Caribbean they have FINE sand which doesn't lodge into crevices never to be found again. I like those beaches! MA and NH beaches are where we go and those I do not like.
Vacation =/=bad.

Syllessa · August 2014

I dislike both rap and hip-hop.

Milk in cereal is gross. So is most yogurt.

I refuse to debate religion or politics. At all.

I think holidays NOT spent with extended family are weird. Unless there is harmful kind of crazy going on. Not regular crazy. But I come from a family where every single holiday (even minor ones) was spent at my Mema's house.

I think it's mostly a waste of *my* time to go the extra mile to avoid (OMG) chemicals and shit in stuff. So I don't. This brought to you by my friend freaking out b/c I use regular detergent, J&J baby shampoos, cheap sunscreen, non-all organic foods, and b/c I Veet my nethers (b/c it's easier than shaving.)

MuffinMom14 · August 2014

SusieBW said:

SPurp13 said:

SusieBW said:

I'm pretty sure I like all the music at least a little bit. I can't think of a single genre of music that I could say "I don't like any of that." There are some artists that I definitely don't like, though.

Country can die in a fire.

And I'm from WV, y'all.

Overall, I wouldn't call myself a country fan, but there is some country I really, really like. Does Johnny Cash still count as country? Because I love him. Most of the modern country radio songs are not my thing, but even then, I can't say I dislike all of it.

Also, here's a related UO (at least I think it probably unpopular): I like Toby Keith. I even saw him live a few years back, and it was so much fun.

Nono. Johnny Cash is not country in my book. He's a fucking legend.

Saragoeswest · August 2014

pnwlover12 said:

I'm still quite confused about the whole board dynamic...is it we're too nice, or too mean? I can't keep up.

We're too nice to the cool kids and too mean to everyone else. Apparently.

You know, I don't think this group dynamic is a simple issue. We don't always expect 100% brutal honesty from our friends in real life. We expect them to be honest and to be supportive and to find the balance between those things. Support is not a simple thing to give. It can come in many forms. I think the board does a decent job at being a "support group" or supportive community. Maybe we will get better over time.

But since this is the first forum family I've ever been a part of, I'm not sure how much you should expect a group of women who only know this very narrow slice of who you are. Granted, you all know I forgot to take off my underwear once while peeing and recently made the terrible decision to declaw my cat. Pretty intimate stuff. But still, we only know as much about each other as we choose to present.

We can't look each other in the eyes. We can't hear each other laugh or walk in each other's shoes. We don't actually send each other muffins and weird sweet breads and ketchup chips in the mail. But for the most part, we do the best we can at this online community thing. And I think we continue to get better at doing it.

MuffinMom14 · August 2014

SusieBW said:

SPurp13 said:

SusieBW said:

I adore the beach. On any given day, if someone were to ask me if there is anywhere I would rather be, the answer would inevitably be "the beach." That's not unpopular, right? It's just a few of you blasphemers who don't like it? In college, my car used to look sort of like an extension of the beach, because I was there just about every day and it was full of "sand and shit."

Do you enjoy sand in every orifice possible? Do you like chewing on grit? THE BEACH IS DIRTY. AND HOT. AND DIRTY.

I like to take my vacations at home. I don't need to leave my house. I have friends inside the computer.

LOL!
I also adore beach hair and salty, sandy skin. On days I've been at the beach, I never wash my hair that night, because I like next-day sandy/salty beach hair just as much as day of.

Is it a function of location, I wonder? Do the beach haters live in inland locales? I'm coastal.

Maybe I hate it because all my beach vacations have been with my family, and that is NOT a vacation. Even when I was little, I was like "the beach sucks, mom."

yella726 · August 2014

Ok, so my UO is that I can't stand some forms of the south accent. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. I'm talking about the Paula Deen southern draaaaaaaawl, y'aaaaaaawwwwl.

I apologize if this offends. Please don't punch me. It probably wouldn't be this way if we didn't get bombarded with southern tourists during the summer.

https://media.tumblr.com/7ebb206d1b25a7bcf78cca52a85e0029/tumblr_inline_n5w1ts4ey61qe1hpi.gif

MuffinMom14 · August 2014

MrsSarahRenee said:

SusieBW said:

I adore the beach. On any given day, if someone were to ask me if there is anywhere I would rather be, the answer would inevitably be "the beach." That's not unpopular, right? It's just a few of you blasphemers who don't like it? In college, my car used to look sort of like an extension of the beach, because I was there just about every day and it was full of "sand and shit."

Do you enjoy sand in every orifice possible? Do you like chewing on grit? THE BEACH IS DIRTY. AND HOT. AND DIRTY.

I like to take my vacations at home. I don't need to leave my house. I have friends inside the computer.
I was all like yeah dirty hot beach gross and then you got to vacations at home... [-( I loooove vacation! We go on road trips to different national parks. Mountains, lakes, caves, national monuments yes. Or if you go to the Caribbean they have FINE sand which doesn't lodge into crevices never to be found again. I like those beaches! MA and NH beaches are where we go and those I do not like. Vacation =/=bad.

I hate vacations. I am an uptight planner. What do you mean, we are going on vacation and we are going to "relax?" What day? What time? When are we going to eat? Where at? What time?

Seriously. I had a breakdown on my honeymoon and begged to go home a day early. Then again, we were in Vegas, and 5 days in Vegas is TOO MANY DAYS.

MuffinMom14 · August 2014

Syllessa said:

I dislike both rap and hip-hop.
Milk in cereal is gross. So is most yogurt.
I refuse to debate religion or politics.  At all.
I think holidays NOT spent with extended family are weird. Unless there is harmful kind of crazy going on. Not regular crazy. But I come from a family where every single holiday (even minor ones) was spent at my Mema's house.
I think it's mostly a waste of *my* time to go the extra mile to avoid (OMG) chemicals and shit in stuff. So I don't.  This brought to you by my friend freaking out b/c I use regular detergent, J&J baby shampoos, cheap sunscreen, non-all organic foods, and b/c I Veet my nethers (b/c it's easier than shaving.)

I can be kinda crunchy about things. I CAN. We do eat organic on the important things (like, not oranges or bananas, since they get peeled, and also, we are not MILLIONAIRES). We try to get the best meat, but. We don't have a lot of the choices others do where we live. So, lots of the time we CAN'T eat the best options.

I do try to go with Burt's Bees or Yes To or other lines like that. I love Bronner's. But then, sometimes, I'm like "this is all fucking marketing, and I'm spending twice as much." So, I use Burt's Bees and I water shit down. I think I'm too cheap to be TRULY super crunchy.

And I am not cloth diapering. Sorry not sorry.

duckr · August 2014

Happyin14 said:

But - the way he died is scary to people. It forces his millions of fans to think about mental health and think about the fact that a person who made others so happy can be so sad on the inside. People probably compare their own sadness or person mental health to what happened and it makes things even more emotional.

So, yeah there really is no comparison between a personal loss and a celebrity but I think the particular celebrity and the way he died just has people more emotional.

This makes a lot of sense and I feel guilty that it bothers me... because a lot of people are using this as a chance to talk seriously about depression and that's a GOOD thing. But it really drives me nutty. I also know that people don't really know how to talk about what happened to my family.

You don't need to feel guilty about anything. There are people who take celebrity deaths way too extreme. Like the crying for days example I saw.

I'm sorry you have friends who don't know how to talk to you about your loss. They are probably afraid of saying anything that might make you feel more sad which in turn probably makes you think they don't care. I promise they do care - they just don't know how to show it. My BFF lost her baby late last year and the best thing you can do is tell your friends what you need from them. You aren't as alone as you feel!

bumpuser10309732 · August 2014

MrsSarahRenee said:

SusieBW said:

I adore the beach. On any given day, if someone were to ask me if there is anywhere I would rather be, the answer would inevitably be "the beach." That's not unpopular, right? It's just a few of you blasphemers who don't like it? In college, my car used to look sort of like an extension of the beach, because I was there just about every day and it was full of "sand and shit."

Do you enjoy sand in every orifice possible? Do you like chewing on grit? THE BEACH IS DIRTY. AND HOT. AND DIRTY.

I like to take my vacations at home. I don't need to leave my house. I have friends inside the computer.
I was all like yeah dirty hot beach gross and then you got to vacations at home... [-( I loooove vacation! We go on road trips to different national parks. Mountains, lakes, caves, national monuments yes. Or if you go to the Caribbean they have FINE sand which doesn't lodge into crevices never to be found again. I like those beaches! MA and NH beaches are where we go and those I do not like. Vacation =/=bad.

I love the beach hair too! It gives me the most amazing texture, but probably really disgusting to think about all the nasty stuff in my hair. I also hate sand. When we lived next to the beach I had to sweep EVERY DAY! It lodged itself into places that I didn't know you could have sand and this was the Caribbean! There's just something about the ocean that I look at it and instantly feel calm and happy.

GretchenWeiners7 · August 2014

I am far too lazy to go back & quote the rapper discussion, but I also am not a fan of Jay Z. I don't hate him, but I will most likely not listen to him if I have a choice.

I loveeee Childish Gambino. He is probably a better lyricist than rapper though.

My UO is that I think the way our country approaches the overweight/underweight health problems is totally jacked. I am not for body shaming EVER, but I think that more people need to realize how unhealthy they are (be it too thin or too overweight). I think the campaigns that are promoting that every size is beautiful are contributing to the problem and validating people's self image, when in fact, they're really unhealthy.

ADH0906 · August 2014

I have a UO. 'Notches' makes my eye twitch.

*runs away and never comes back*

lrobi13 · August 2014

SPurp13 said:

SusieBW said:

I adore the beach. On any given day, if someone were to ask me if there is anywhere I would rather be, the answer would inevitably be "the beach." That's not unpopular, right? It's just a few of you blasphemers who don't like it? In college, my car used to look sort of like an extension of the beach, because I was there just about every day and it was full of "sand and shit."

Do you enjoy sand in every orifice possible? Do you like chewing on grit? THE BEACH IS DIRTY. AND HOT. AND DIRTY.

I like to take my vacations at home. I don't need to leave my house. I have friends inside the computer.

You gotta be doing something wrong! My orifices are fine and I don't eat sand...when it gets hot you take a dip in the water!

I did hate the beach when I was little. There are some classic pictures of my with an epic pout under the umbrella and a towel on my gator float. But that may have been taken after my dad had to swim out to sea to go get me as I had floated away (I don't remember this happening but it is family legend)

As for UO, I think many of the hot topics have already been covered and there is a big spectrum of bumpies so no matter what people are going to disagree (whether it is a Bump flaming or irl). If I have an opinion I share it otherwise I don't comment but not from fear of others on here.

But I do love the support and try to give as much as I get...rainbow unicorn glitter poop de damned

MrsSarahRenee · August 2014

ADH0906 said:
I have a UO. 'Notches' makes my eye twitch.

*runs away and never comes back*

I liked your post cause it cracked me up.

)
I use notch though. I like board lingo.

Liss1481 · August 2014

GretchenWeiners7 said:

My UO is that I think the way our country approaches the overweight/underweight health problems is totally jacked. I am not for body shaming EVER, but I think that more people need to realize how unhealthy they are (be it too thin or too overweight). I think the campaigns that are promoting that every size is beautiful are contributing to the problem and validating people's self image, when in fact, they're really unhealthy.

Agreed

Heartwood0519 · August 2014

apk4 said:

I don't ever feel like I can't speak my mind or the group will turn on me, but sometimes I feel like I'm trying too hard to fit in or something. I don't really know how to word it.

I don't act any differently or change my thoughts to agree with others, it's just a feeling I get sometimes. Does that make any sense?

I feel this exact same way. I feel like I try really hard to fit in here, so I'm afraid to say something that might make someone else upset.

Jennifer18131 · August 2014

Happyin14 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

@dorothyzbornak97‌ I was wondering if you were coming back. This is serious imo. If we're losing members because we have created a culture of faux Internet popularity, we need to fix it stat. Whaaaaat is it?
IMO - I find that people are quick to be "absolute" and snarky with small issues. And then hot button issues seem to be glossed over. Which can be confusing and distancing, I think. I've stayed away from most threads for this reason.

I'm on an old, public computer so quotes are going to get messed up. Sorry!

I think it's easier to be "absolute" with smaller issues than the larger ones. You mention in subsequent posts about the Christmas/Announcement/Thank You card topic. I wast he one who commented on that. To clarify, when I first read the post (whether it was a reading error or whether the full information was not in the post, I cannot remember so I'll say mea culpa) it sounded like you did what I have seen others do and had a generic TY printed on the card. I pointed out that TYs should be handwritten and personalized every time. When you replied that you did in fact write a personalized TY on the card for each one, it clarified for me and the topic was never discussed again. I apoligize if it came off that I was being snarky to you or judging you.

With the larger issues, I like that we are able to discuss the pros and cons on each side with respect (mostly). I learn so much from those discussions and am very grateful for them. I'm also not going to comment on an issue when I don't know much about it. Example, ask me about the Hobby lobby decision or about the McDonald's coffee case and I can go on for days and days and days. Ask me about Ferguson or Isreal/Gaza and I'll be mostly silent. I'm not proud to not be up to date with a lot of current political/social issues, but in the words of Paula Abdul - It is what it is.

Heartwood0519 · August 2014

MRSclarke08 said:

I don't understand the whole idea of ransacking and destroying one's own neighborhood in protest of something that has happened. I am speaking of the shooting in St. Louis and while I don't have all the details and agree that what happened is terrible, I just don't understand the reaction. I can get with protesting, but damaging your own neighborhood is hard for me to understand.
Please understand that my DH (who is African American) and I (Caucasian) have conversations about these kinds of things all the time and it baffles him too. I am, in no way, trying to make this a race conversation; I am just confused by the action. It's the same question as to why white people shoot up their own schools. I don't get it.

I feel like by saying the bolded, you are making it about race and that bothers me. Why does it matter that your husband is African American and you are Caucasian? It doesn't make your opinion/story any more or less relevant. Also, I'm sure other races shoot up schools...

I think that this is part of why racism still exists. Everyone is so quick to point out skin color and race when it really doesn't make a bit of difference. It annoys me to high hell that people still make such a big deal out of race. Maybe this is my UO.

Jennifer18131 · August 2014

duckr said:

Happyin14 said:

Here's an UO and I know it's being talked about in TP too.... I hate all the posts and sentiments shared when a celeb dies. I mean - I like and understand the tributes from people who actually KNEW the person, but it always feels to me that folks are willing to talk about being "devastated" when they didn't even know the individual.

I've had a lot of people close to me die in the past year and it is hard to see close friends of mine talk about famous people more than...sorry...my own child.
I get this. When I see an individual comment on a national news article about Robin Williams saying "I haven't stopped crying since I heard" I think really? I mean I am sad he died. Loved his movies. Loved his spirit but crying for days on end? And you're right in comparison to a personal loss it just sounds so ridiculous! Especially, the loss of a child. I can't imagine and I'm so sorry.

But - the way he died is scary to people. It forces his millions of fans to think about mental health and think about the fact that a person who made others so happy can be so sad on the inside. People probably compare their own sadness or person mental health to what happened and it makes things even more emotional.

So, yeah there really is no comparison between a personal loss and a celebrity but I think the particular celebrity and the way he died just has people more emotional.

The bolded. It threw me into a 24 hour mini depression because it brought up feelings that I haven't delt with in a while.

MrsSarahRenee · August 2014

@Heartwood0519‌ I was wondering about the question about white people shooting up their own schools - I don't really get what @MRSclarke08‌ means... I have never heard anyone say that so I just don't know.

But when you say "everyone is so quick to point out skin color and race"... That does matter. Whether you think it should or not, it does because we have a serious racism issue in our country and people like to pretend we don't. Therefore I disagree when people say we should be "color blind". That is just ignoring the issue and not recognizing that there is still an issue of white privilege in this country and a misunderstanding that racism ended in the '60s.

I don't know if that is what you meant but that is how I read your response.

TheOtherJacobsons · August 2014

Ok, I am not done talking about the climate of our board.

Yes, there have been things that have been said on this board that should probably have had more of a discussion. I know for me that the reason I sometimes don't speak up is because sometimes it doesn't really seem that important to me to flame someone, not because they are popular, but because for one reason or another I don't find it necessary to get into it.

There have been people who are not part of our community that have flamed us for both being too harsh and too lenient on our bumpie sisters. When this criticism comes from people who are not part of our community, we of course will jump on them. Their opinion doesn't matter. Not to me. What does matter to me are the opinions of the women here. Even the lurkers (Not as much mind you, but I still would listen to you if you actually said something other than how shitty we are. You know who you are.) I have said plenty of things that are flame worthy and been flamed for them! I took it, absorbed it, and it either changed me or it didn't.

I think what is being confused here is that we stick up for our own and that can come across as siding with an idea or a person and not the actual intent, which is to protect our community of people. If someone came here and flamed one of our girls, regardless of whether or not they deserved it, I would stick up for that person because I am a loyal friend. I think a side effect of this is that people who lurk or heck apparently even regulars feel like they cannot express their opinion. Believe me, I would take the opinion of someone here over someone who doesn't go here any day of the week.

Now, I am not talking about people who harbor hate or are hurtful people. If you were honestly a bad person and meant something shitty you said, you wouldn't have lasted long here anyway, but I wouldn't blindly defend you. I don't think we have anyone like that here. I honestly think that we all mean well, even when we put our feet in our mouths. Which is why I give most of you the benefit of the doubt.

This whole TB/FB thing is an interesting one. Some went there because they didn't like it here. Then some came back to tell us how much we sucked. Not really sure I feel the togetherness of that kind of behavior. We are a public community and they are private, so there is really no way for us to discuss this in the same way that they do. I am a member of both as I have said and I spend most of my time here. I honestly don't feel welcome there because of their culture. Now, when I do comment, I am welcomed, but I cannot say that I feel the same way there as I do here with regards to this sisterhood I have mentioned. I have to imagine that they feel the same way when they come here. Unfortunately, we are not the same community of people and that is kind of sad.

One final thing I want to say is that not saying something when you want to say something only helps perpetuate the problem. The regs became regs because we spoke up. I have been flamed more times than I can count. There have been times that I have wanted to close my account and never come back. The thing is, I didn't. I kept commenting. It really is up to the people who are silent to make themselves heard. There might be some growing pains by finally coming out and speaking your mind, but ultimately you are the only one who can do this. I can say that if speaking your mind consists of telling us how much we suck, we're not going to be receptive. It is your responsibility to speak up, not our responsibility to pave a road of rainbows and glitter.

MrsL2B · August 2014

I hate rap and country music. I hate it when people ask me what kind of music I like, because I really don't like most music. I hate the beach. I hate the sun and I hate feeling sticky. I hate putting forth the effort to argue about most things, because they really don't matter that much to me. I hate getting flamed online by people who don't know me because I get enough of that IRL. I hate it when people tell me I'm too negative.

I also hate that I don't post here more than a few times a day because I do love this group and you all crack me up, but I am a tired pregnant woman and just staying caught up reading the posts is a lot of work!

MrMrsandBaby · August 2014

Liss1481 said:

GretchenWeiners7 said:

My UO is that I think the way our country approaches the overweight/underweight health problems is totally jacked. I am not for body shaming EVER, but I think that more people need to realize how unhealthy they are (be it too thin or too overweight). I think the campaigns that are promoting that every size is beautiful are contributing to the problem and validating people's self image, when in fact, they're really unhealthy.

Agreed

But there is so much more to health than weight. I think the point of those campaigns is to help women feel like a size 0 isn't the only way to be beautiful (don't most of them feature women who are on the bigger side than the smaller side?). Because, in reality, most of us would be unhealthy at a 0, or maybe even a 2 or 4. Weight/size isn't the only measure of health and it should not be the only measure of beauty. But with a culture that consistently fat shames but RARELY skinny shames, it is hard to feel beautiful at a size 10 or 12. A perfectly healthy person who is 10 pounds overweight - or whatever - shouldn't feel shame about that. When we (as a whole) celebrate beauty in someone who is 10 pounds underweight where are the people saying that she is unhealthy? I would put money on people commenting MORE about the 10 over than the 10 under.

I also think equating health with beauty is totally apples to oranges.

So, I agree that we have really poor rhetoric around the over/underweight issues. But I don't think the campaigns are really addressing health at all so they shouldn't be considered to be making it ok to be overweight.

Sorry, words are hard, did that make sense?

golfingdarwinfish · August 2014

Nicb13 said: Well maybe I have a UO then.....IMO nothing needs to change on this board. There are far too many of us on here for that to happen and none of us will ever be the same when it comes to discussion and hot topics. I don't really care if our board is too nice, not honest enough, doesn't want to hurt feelings, has a reputation, etc. This is an internet chat board and not my "real life". I come here for entertainment and to chat with other women about pregnancy and parenting - my 2 favorite topics. Some days on this board are sort of boring, some have more action. I'm cool with either. I truly do like all of you and hell, I'm here enough but I'm here for fun and to kill time during the day. I try to take this board for what it is. Entertainment. So everyone should just do what the famous Bob Dylan says: "either be groovy or leave, man".

I don't think that anyone is saying things need to change; things rarely change in life, and so the odds of them changing on a internet message board are as close to 0 as you can possibly get. As I said earlier, the board culture is the culture. Also, there's no way in hell I want everyone to be the same in terms of topics or opinions, so I hope it didn't sound like that was what I was saying.

Heartwood0519 · August 2014

MrsSarahRenee said:

@Heartwood0519‌ I was wondering about the question about white people shooting up their own schools - I don't really get what @MRSclarke08‌ means... I have never heard anyone say that so I just don't know. But when you say "everyone is so quick to point out skin color and race"... That does matter. Whether you think it should or not, it does because we have a serious racism issue in our country and people like to pretend we don't. Therefore I disagree when people say we should be "color blind". That is just ignoring the issue and not recognizing that there is still an issue of white privilege in this country and a misunderstanding that racism ended in the '60s. I don't know if that is what you meant but that is how I read your response.

**Quote box fail**

I don't think that we should ignore blatent racism. That's not what I'm saying. But I do think that part of the reason why it still exists is that things happen that have nothing to do with race to begin with often get turned into a race issue where it doesn't need to be and it's calling further attention to how our skin color is different when it shouldn't matter in the first place.

I don't know if I'm making any sense here...

MrsSarahRenee · August 2014

TicketTuesday said:
I can't get out of my lurking funk, I've been reading lots of posts this week but commenting very little, not sure why.

Anyway, interesting UO's today. Especially the religion ones. I certainly haven't hid that aspect of myself from you guys and part of me is constantly worried that everyone dislikes me, rolls their eyes at me, thinks I'm a blind sheep, bigoted, etc... There are so many misconceptions and negative perceptions of my beliefs (and many others) that while I understand people disliking religion, it makes me sad and a little worried that people don't take my opinions seriously simply because I'm devoutly religious. That's probably not even true, just me being paranoid, I hope. But I don't know, I like pretty much everyone on our board even if half of our beliefs and ideas are polar opposites. You ladies are amazing and make me laugh and wish we could be friends IRL, regardless of our opinions on weed, abortion, religion and whatever else.

I am not religious but none of your posts (that I can recall) have been preachy or made me eye roll.

I hope you aren't in a lurking funk over that. We can debate ideology all day long but in the end, I am not going to dislike you based on what you identify as. Just on how you treat others...

pnwlover12 · August 2014

I adore you @TicketTuesday‌. I'm not religious but I don't care at all if you or anyone else is. I never roll my eyes at you.

LightBright515 · August 2014

When you take a step back and think about the health issues that are killing and handicapping our nation, weight most definitely is a factor.

So to say that there is so much more to health than weight..THAT is a bit much for me.

pnwlover12 · August 2014

@TheOtherJacobsons‌

I agree! Also, if someone could fill me in on who the 'popular' kids are that'd be great.

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