UO Thursday

MrsSarahRenee

@Syllessa‌ I won't quote you because it was long but I don't think that is the "man side." I just think that is reasonable. I get wanting physical touch!!
I want sex too! I didn't mean to be all oh only men like sex. I love sex! I actually enjoy giving blow jobs. Your post was totally reasonable and I am sorry you and DH are having bedroom struggles I hope you are able to feel loved in other ways.

trisharenee0316

alfibet said:

trisharenee0316 said:

And finally, I do not understand how someone can not like music.  Not liking a particular genre of music makes sense.  But no music at all?  WTF do you do in the car, sit in silence?  To me, saying you don't like music sounds like saying you don't like oxygen or something.  I seriously don't get it.

I do usually sit in silence in the car I don't drive alone much except to go to work, which is just down the street from my house. If I had an hour long commute or something I could see listening to talk radio or books on tape or something.

Do you also hate dancing?  Did you grow up in the town from Footloose?

In all seriousness though, I think I like music in the car because it's soothing and relaxing and I don't really have to pay attention to enjoy it.  If I was listening to a book on tape, I should probably focus and listen so as not to waste time.  And since I'm ordinarily tired of people talking my ear off, if I had to listen to a book on tape or talk radio, I'd be on chatter overload.  But I can get how someone would use that if they weren't fans of music.

Syllessa

MrsSarahRenee said:

@Syllessa‌ I won't quote you because it was long but I don't think that is the "man side." I just think that is reasonable. I get wanting physical touch!! I want sex too! I didn't mean to be all oh only men like sex. I love sex! I actually enjoy giving blow jobs. Your post was totally reasonable and I am sorry you and DH are having bedroom struggles I hope you are able to feel loved in other ways.

When I use my brain, and not just my feelings, I know he loves me, I really do.  I made it very clear at the beginning of this relationship that physical touch was a priority to me.  I require it.  If he wasn't on board, then this was not the relationship for him.  Lack of intimate physical touch was one of the major factors in my 1st marriage.  I know the issue is his mind just can't get passed the pregnancy, and that's ok, but I still need the touch.  I think he's finally getting it though, so hopefully things only get better.

TheOtherJacobsons

@trisharenee0316 Yours was the PM that I was referring to. I still don't see why your comment to me in PM would have been taken poorly. You really have no way of knowing because you didn't post it publicly. I certainly didn't take offense to it and I think that is the most important part. If someone had flamed you for your comment, I would have likely responded to that as well. 

Also, I think I responded rather well to Sara's comments. It's a pity that she didn't take the time to reply to my response. Kind of made me wonder why I even bothered to reply.

pnwlover12

trisharenee0316 said:

@TheOtherJacobsons - I'm not sure if you were referring to me with respect to the PM, but I have to say that I probably would have never had that conversation with you if it wasn't via PM, precisely because of a sentiment like @crawford411 (I think that's the right username) brought up: it's not worth the uphill battle to have a contrary opinion--or possibly not even one that's contrary, but just one that comes from a different angle--and then have a blizzard of disagreement with a group of ragey pregnant women when you're already a ragey pregnant woman yourself.  So yes, perhaps part of the problem, but after seeing the response to Sara in this thread, I'm not sure it's the wrong way to go.  It's also a big part of why I have really pared back my participation here (probably to the delight of some).

@TrishaRenee0316
I'm assuming this bit is directed towards me. Can I ask what about what I said was so awful? Yes, I disagreed with her, and chose to back up why I disagreed with my opinion on it....but I really don't feel like I was so crazy rude that people should be afraid to voice their opinion. I honestly don't. For me, it has nothing to do with who is a regular or not, I've disagreed with a lot of "regulars" on here on a lot of issues...but I keep posting.

I know you and I have had our differences, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to post here! I actually think you contribute a lot of good stuff to the board - even if we don't always see eye to eye.

pnwlover12

dorothyzbornak97 said:

golfingdarwinfish said:

Liss1481 said:

pushgal84 said:

My UO, and I'm sorry in advance to all who have fur-babies that fall into this category, but I have a severe dislike of orange cats. I've never met one I liked and when I see them I feel zero warm and fuzzies. I don't feel this way about any other color cat and can't explain it really. Flame away orange cat owners...

:-O       (in my experience, they are either super nice or super evil, no middle ground though)

Calvin is sad.

and politely asks OP to reconsider.

Whereas, Bojangles is just straight judging. And letting you know he does not approve of this sentiment.

ETA: Calvin is freaking adorable!

I'm pretty sure judgey cats are my favorite. That is one of the best things about cats, their personalities!

trisharenee0316

TheOtherJacobsons said:

@trisharenee0316 Yours was the PM that I was referring to. I still don't see why your comment to me in PM would have been taken poorly. You really have no way of knowing because you didn't post it publicly. I certainly didn't take offense to it and I think that is the most important part. If someone had flamed you for your comment, I would have likely responded to that as well. 

Also, I think I responded rather well to Sara's comments. It's a pity that she didn't take the time to reply to my response. Kind of made me wonder why I even bothered to reply.

I agree with respect to taking it in stride.  I just got a sense from that thread--whether right or wrong--that because you were upset, people were not going to deal with any comment that said anything other than offering hugs or comfort.

pnwlover12 said:

@TrishaRenee0316
I'm assuming this bit is directed towards me. Can I ask what about what I said was so awful? Yes, I disagreed with her, and chose to back up why I disagreed with my opinion on it....but I really don't feel like I was so crazy rude that people should be afraid to voice their opinion. I honestly don't. For me, it has nothing to do with who is a regular or not, I've disagreed with a lot of "regulars" on here on a lot of issues...but I keep posting.

I know you and I have had our differences, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to post here! I actually think you contribute a lot of good stuff to the board - even if we don't always see eye to eye.

If someone speaks up and gives a contrary opinion and the first response is to attack her reading comprehension and not actually giving a substantive response, then that person sort of learns her lesson, right?  But I could be wrong because I was told by another reg that I have reading comprehension problems (lulz).

Also, you as a regular disagreeing with a regular is a lot different than someone else disagreeing with a regular, FWIW.  I've noticed those situations get overlooked or glossed over or resolved a lot more easily than other disagreements.  And certainly those who participate in the disagreements in the former case are more respectful than with the latter.

pnwlover12

trisharenee0316 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

@trisharenee0316 Yours was the PM that I was referring to. I still don't see why your comment to me in PM would have been taken poorly. You really have no way of knowing because you didn't post it publicly. I certainly didn't take offense to it and I think that is the most important part. If someone had flamed you for your comment, I would have likely responded to that as well. 

Also, I think I responded rather well to Sara's comments. It's a pity that she didn't take the time to reply to my response. Kind of made me wonder why I even bothered to reply.

I agree with respect to taking it in stride.  I just got a sense from that thread--whether right or wrong--that because you were upset, people were not going to deal with any comment that said anything other than offering hugs or comfort.

pnwlover12 said:

@TrishaRenee0316
I'm assuming this bit is directed towards me. Can I ask what about what I said was so awful? Yes, I disagreed with her, and chose to back up why I disagreed with my opinion on it....but I really don't feel like I was so crazy rude that people should be afraid to voice their opinion. I honestly don't. For me, it has nothing to do with who is a regular or not, I've disagreed with a lot of "regulars" on here on a lot of issues...but I keep posting.

I know you and I have had our differences, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to post here! I actually think you contribute a lot of good stuff to the board - even if we don't always see eye to eye.

If someone speaks up and gives a contrary opinion and the first response is to attack her reading comprehension and not actually giving a substantive response, then that person sort of learns her lesson, right?  But I could be wrong because I was told by another reg that I have reading comprehension problems (lulz).

Also, you as a regular disagreeing with a regular is a lot different than someone else disagreeing with a regular, FWIW.  I've noticed those situations get overlooked or glossed over or resolved a lot more easily than other disagreements.  And certainly those who participate in the disagreements in the former case are more respectful than with the latter.

So...because someone chooses not to post regularly, I can't disagree with them? I can't control the emotions or feelings of any poster, so would it be better to just ignore someone rather than disagree with them on a particular issue?

TheOtherJacobsons

trisharenee0316 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

@trisharenee0316 Yours was the PM that I was referring to. I still don't see why your comment to me in PM would have been taken poorly. You really have no way of knowing because you didn't post it publicly. I certainly didn't take offense to it and I think that is the most important part. If someone had flamed you for your comment, I would have likely responded to that as well. 

Also, I think I responded rather well to Sara's comments. It's a pity that she didn't take the time to reply to my response. Kind of made me wonder why I even bothered to reply.

I agree with respect to taking it in stride.  I just got a sense from that thread--whether right or wrong--that because you were upset, people were not going to deal with any comment that said anything other than offering hugs or comfort.

Guess we'll never know, will we? I like to think that I have the ability to be a rational person. Next time, give me the benefit of the doubt

trisharenee0316

TheOtherJacobsons said:

Guess we'll never know, will we? I like to think that I have the ability to be a rational person. Next time, give me the benefit of the doubt

I gave you the benefit of the doubt!  It was everyone else I was questioning.

pnwlover12 said:

So...because someone chooses not to post regularly, I can't disagree with them? I can't control the emotions or feelings of any poster, so would it be better to just ignore someone rather than disagree with them on a particular issue?

I...am not sure I said that.  But let's say, for example, one of the more regular posters wrote what Sara did in this thread.  Would your first comment to her be one just attacking her reading comprehension, or would you have taken time from the outset to fully set out your reasons for disagreeing?  True, you can't control the emotions or feelings of any poster.  But you can control your own!  That's all I'm saying.  The tone of the response is different.  And you clearly disagree with me, which is fine.

windwithfingers

Happyin14 said:

Here's an UO and I know it's being talked about in TP too....  I hate all the posts and sentiments shared when a celeb dies.  I mean - I like and understand the tributes from people who actually KNEW the person, but it always feels to me that folks are more willing to talk about being "devastated" when they didn't even know the individual. 

I've had a lot of people close to me die in the past year and it is hard to see close friends of mine talk about famous people more than...sorry...my own child. 

@Happyin14: I am so with you. I felt some sadness when I heard the Robin Williams news, but all the "tributes" on FB had me thinking some not so nice things.

pnwlover12

trisharenee0316 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

Guess we'll never know, will we? I like to think that I have the ability to be a rational person. Next time, give me the benefit of the doubt

I gave you the benefit of the doubt!  It was everyone else I was questioning.

pnwlover12 said:

So...because someone chooses not to post regularly, I can't disagree with them? I can't control the emotions or feelings of any poster, so would it be better to just ignore someone rather than disagree with them on a particular issue?

I...am not sure I said that.  But let's say, for example, one of the more regular posters wrote what Sara did in this thread.  Would your first comment to her be one just attacking her reading comprehension, or would you have taken time from the outset to fully set out your reasons for disagreeing?  True, you can't control the emotions or feelings of any poster.  But you can control your own!  That's all I'm saying.  The tone of the response is different.  And you clearly disagree with me, which is fine.

I said the comment about reading comprehension level because out of the entire post (regarding the baby shower) all she got out of it was that @TheOtherJacobsons was "hosting her own shower" and that's why it's a "bad idea". I thought that was shitty. I fully admit my comment was snarky (and/or rude), but it's how I felt and I do believe I would have had that response for anyone on here.

TheOtherJacobsons

SaraML13 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

@trisharenee0316 Yours was the PM that I was referring to. I still don't see why your comment to me in PM would have been taken poorly. You really have no way of knowing because you didn't post it publicly. I certainly didn't take offense to it and I think that is the most important part. If someone had flamed you for your comment, I would have likely responded to that as well. 

Also, I think I responded rather well to Sara's comments. It's a pity that she didn't take the time to reply to my response. Kind of made me wonder why I even bothered to reply.

I didn't mean to disappear.  I posted during lunch and haven't had a chance to take a break from work to type a reply.  

Your response to me was perfectly fine.  Your clarifications from your original post did help, although I still think that much of your family drama was self-inflicted.  I think your situation sounds less than ideal, but I don't have a lot of sympathy for a novel length rant.  That's not to say I think you're a horrible person and 50 people should have flamed you. I just had to roll my eyes at the responses to your shower post that were all "Oh, how awful that everything didn't go exactly how you wanted!  You poor thing" with zero people daring to point out that you probably weren't a completely blameless victim.

But the bigger point is that you asked for an example of a post, I gave one, and someone else jumped in and immediately accused me of not being able to read.  Which is why a lot of the time I don't bother posting on hot topics or disagreeing with a regular.  I don't have the energy for getting into debates over my ability to read just because I have an UO.

Eye rolls are completely acceptable. It was really long. I am pretty sure that I made mention of that in the subject line. 

As for the blameless victim comments, I think Spurp13 put it best when she said something like, telling someone how shitty they are when they are down is like spitting in their eye when their dog dies and then laughing at them for it. She said it better, but I am kind of glad that people didn't tell me to STFU and suck it up. I still concede that I would have taken it better from one of you than from a bunch of outsiders. 

pnwlover12

SaraML13 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

@trisharenee0316 Yours was the PM that I was referring to. I still don't see why your comment to me in PM would have been taken poorly. You really have no way of knowing because you didn't post it publicly. I certainly didn't take offense to it and I think that is the most important part. If someone had flamed you for your comment, I would have likely responded to that as well. 

Also, I think I responded rather well to Sara's comments. It's a pity that she didn't take the time to reply to my response. Kind of made me wonder why I even bothered to reply.

I didn't mean to disappear.  I posted during lunch and haven't had a chance to take a break from work to type a reply.  

Your response to me was perfectly fine.  Your clarifications from your original post did help, although I still think that much of your family drama was self-inflicted.  I think your situation sounds less than ideal, but I don't have a lot of sympathy for a novel length rant.  That's not to say I think you're a horrible person and 50 people should have flamed you. I just had to roll my eyes at the responses to your shower post that were all "Oh, how awful that everything didn't go exactly how you wanted!  You poor thing" with zero people daring to point out that you probably weren't a completely blameless victim.

But the bigger point is that you asked for an example of a post, I gave one, and someone else jumped in and immediately accused me of not being able to read.  Which is why a lot of the time I don't bother posting on hot topics or disagreeing with a regular.  I don't have the energy for getting into debates over my ability to read just because I have an UO.

Whoa now. I never said you couldn't read. I questioned how much of what you read you actually understood. I apologize if I'm a big meanie that makes you not want to post here. I better check myself before I wreck myself.

pnwlover12

TheOtherJacobsons said:

SaraML13 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

@trisharenee0316 Yours was the PM that I was referring to. I still don't see why your comment to me in PM would have been taken poorly. You really have no way of knowing because you didn't post it publicly. I certainly didn't take offense to it and I think that is the most important part. If someone had flamed you for your comment, I would have likely responded to that as well. 

Also, I think I responded rather well to Sara's comments. It's a pity that she didn't take the time to reply to my response. Kind of made me wonder why I even bothered to reply.

I didn't mean to disappear.  I posted during lunch and haven't had a chance to take a break from work to type a reply.  

Your response to me was perfectly fine.  Your clarifications from your original post did help, although I still think that much of your family drama was self-inflicted.  I think your situation sounds less than ideal, but I don't have a lot of sympathy for a novel length rant.  That's not to say I think you're a horrible person and 50 people should have flamed you. I just had to roll my eyes at the responses to your shower post that were all "Oh, how awful that everything didn't go exactly how you wanted!  You poor thing" with zero people daring to point out that you probably weren't a completely blameless victim.

But the bigger point is that you asked for an example of a post, I gave one, and someone else jumped in and immediately accused me of not being able to read.  Which is why a lot of the time I don't bother posting on hot topics or disagreeing with a regular.  I don't have the energy for getting into debates over my ability to read just because I have an UO.

Eye rolls are completely acceptable. It was really long. I am pretty sure that I made mention of that in the subject line. 

As for the blameless victim comments, I think Spurp13 put it best when she said something like, telling someone how shitty they are when they are down is like spitting in their eye when their dog dies and then laughing at them for it. She said it better, but I am kind of glad that people didn't tell me to STFU and suck it up. I still concede that I would have taken it better from one of you than from a bunch of outsiders. 

Don't you know it's acceptable to lack compassion as long as someone thinks you've violated some unspoken etiquette rule?

TheOtherJacobsons

pnwlover12 said:

SNIPPED

Don't you know it's acceptable to lack compassion as long as someone thinks you've violated some unspoken etiquette rule?

Mah bad, I totes forgot. 

duckr

0.

TheOtherJacobsons said:

SaraML13 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

@trisharenee0316 Yours was the PM that I was referring to. I still don't see why your comment to me in PM would have been taken poorly. You really have no way of knowing because you didn't post it publicly. I certainly didn't take offense to it and I think that is the most important part. If someone had flamed you for your comment, I would have likely responded to that as well. 

Also, I think I responded rather well to Sara's comments. It's a pity that she didn't take the time to reply to my response. Kind of made me wonder why I even bothered to reply.

I didn't mean to disappear.  I posted during lunch and haven't had a chance to take a break from work to type a reply.  

Your response to me was perfectly fine.  Your clarifications from your original post did help, although I still think that much of your family drama was self-inflicted.  I think your situation sounds less than ideal, but I don't have a lot of sympathy for a novel length rant.  That's not to say I think you're a horrible person and 50 people should have flamed you. I just had to roll my eyes at the responses to your shower post that were all "Oh, how awful that everything didn't go exactly how you wanted!  You poor thing" with zero people daring to point out that you probably weren't a completely blameless victim.

But the bigger point is that you asked for an example of a post, I gave one, and someone else jumped in and immediately accused me of not being able to read.  Which is why a lot of the time I don't bother posting on hot topics or disagreeing with a regular.  I don't have the energy for getting into debates over my ability to read just because I have an UO.

Eye rolls are completely acceptable. It was really long. I am pretty sure that I made mention of that in the subject line. 

As for the blameless victim comments, I think Spurp13 put it best when she said something like, telling someone how shitty they are when they are down is like spitting in their eye when their dog dies and then laughing at them for it. She said it better, but I am kind of glad that people didn't tell me to STFU and suck it up. I still concede that I would have taken it better from one of you than from a bunch of outsiders. 

Maybe you should stop bringing it up then? Just let it die out so we can all move on.

CrisDee

My UO is I hate overly quoted threads. Delete things that are not relevent. Takes forever to scroll past on a phone. You don't need to show everything just to add, "I agree."

TheOtherJacobsons

duckr said:

SNIPPED

Maybe you should stop bringing it up then? Just let it die out so we can all move on.

I actually only brought it up once, today, in this thread. I think eye roll should be inserted here.

TheOtherJacobsons

CrisDee said:

My UO is I hate overly quoted threads. Delete things that are not relevent. Takes forever to scroll past on a phone. You don't need to show everything just to add, "I agree."

Agree  

I also think that the +1 comments with all the quotes are even worse.

MuffinMom14

SaraML13 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

I personally want people to call me out if I've got my head up my ass. Not an invitation to N14... To the members here. I contacted someone who went to the N14 thread and asked for her opinion and ended up having a great pm about it. I would have had the same conversation on my post had she commented there. Still not sure why I didn't get flamed by people whose opinions actually matter to me. Not that I am saying you are talking about me, but that was one instance where we were very publically flamed for our Mean Girls culture.

Ok, fine, since you asked.  

I kept quite because I'm not a super active poster, everyone else was giving you love tits, and you threatened to "flame the shit" out of anyone who told you that hosting your own shower was tacky.  But I read your shower post and thought it was ridiculous.  I don't know all of your family issues, but from reading your post it seemed like 80% of the problems with the shower stemmed from you trying to micromanage it and demanding that it be done exactly your way.  It's not just a matter of whether or not hosting your own shower is tacky, your experience is a perfect example of why it is a terrible idea to host your own shower. It seems like everything would have worked out much better if you had just accepted your SIL's initial offer to host and gotten out of the way.  I was surprised that no one called you out on that and instead everyone just gave you hugs.

Meanwhile, a newb posted on this board a day or two about hosting her own shower and everyone told her it was tacky.  There is definitely a group think mentality around not calling out certain people.  

Ok, you have some points that I agree with. And yes, I wasn't gonna say a damned thing if she threw her own shower, because I had been warned she wouldn't like it, and to be honest, she's more well-liked on this board than I am, and I've already been established as the baby shower hater on the board, and I'm tired of it. I would just just silently thought "that's tacky."

HOWEVER. She didn't throw her own shower. We can flame her for saying she would have, I guess. But. It didn't happen, so that's pointless. And having ideas about what you like for a shower, I think, is fine. And maybe 80% of her problems DID come from doing it herself, but in reading it, it didn't really seem like she had a whole lot of choice. I feel like I can say that from a place of empathy, because I think our mothers are similar. Saying "then no thank you, I do not want a shower" is just not possible with that level of crazy. It's not. And I am ALSO doing a TON for my own shower. It's not fucking right. It's not fucking proper. But there's no way out of it with a mother like mine (or like hers). So, I empathized through the whole post. 

And yes, her post WAS a perfect example of why you don't host your own, and she should have let the SIL do it. But. Again. I would have (and did, actually) done the same when it comes to MY MOTHER. My mom threatens to kill herself when things don't go her way. She tried that when my friend offered to throw me a shower. So. I did exactly the same. And I do regret it, and I will have to step up to my mom eventually, but right now? During pregnancy? I don't have the fucking energy to fight with her. So. I'm picking my battles with her. And I think possibly that's what happened with @TheOtherJacobsons.

So, I actually think you have a lot of good points. I also just think that this specific post had so many things in it that resonated with me because of my own similar experiences with my own mother, that I was left with nothing but supportive things to say. I guess I just reserve the right to take in the entire post, with background information, before I leap to what I'd normally say, which is "throwing your own baby shower is tacky."

And I can guarantee you, I was most likely not a part of the flaming of the non-reg about the shower thing, because I'm tired of feeling like my opinion on baby showers is wrong, or I hate celebrating babies. It's just my opinion, and I don't bother to voice it anymore, since all the regs know where I stand. 

I've said it before. I got my start on The Knot's etiquette board. They do NOT piss around. My baby shower opinions are VERY mild and lenient compared to those. I don't WANT this to turn into that board. But some honesty in higher doses would be cool, too, and that's the only reason I'm even making this post--I'm trying to be honest. I wasn't going to say that on some points I agreed with you (and normally do when you come into those baby shower boards), but in light of the being asked to be more honest, I did so.

MuffinMom14

TicketTuesday said:

I can't get out of my lurking funk, I've been reading lots of posts this week but commenting very little, not sure why. Anyway, interesting UO's today. Especially the religion ones. I certainly haven't hid that aspect of myself from you guys and part of me is constantly worried that everyone dislikes me, rolls their eyes at me, thinks I'm a blind sheep, bigoted, etc... There are so many misconceptions and negative perceptions of my beliefs (and many others) that while I understand people disliking religion, it makes me sad and a little worried that people don't take my opinions seriously simply because I'm devoutly religious. That's probably not even true, just me being paranoid, I hope. But I don't know, I like pretty much everyone on our board even if half of our beliefs and ideas are polar opposites. You ladies are amazing and make me laugh and wish we could be friends IRL, regardless of our opinions on weed, abortion, religion and whatever else.

I'm probably as anti-religion as you can get. And I really just want to sit down and talk to you. I think religion is really interesting. I sometimes WISH I were religious. I see people who have these FEELINGS and MOMENTS and feel this CLARITY. I don't have that. All because I must see PROOF to believe something. It's just my personality. Sometimes, I do feel like I'm missing out, and I've tried, but I can't get into it. It's not something I believe. But I enjoy learning about people who DO practice different religions, and I find all the differences to be really interesting. I don't disrespect anyone just because they are religious.

Unless their religion is claiming another group of people are wrong or should be shunned. Then, fuck off.

MuffinMom14

pushgal84 said:

My UO, and I'm sorry in advance to all who have fur-babies that fall into this category, but I have a severe dislike of orange cats. I've never met one I liked and when I see them I feel zero warm and fuzzies. I don't feel this way about any other color cat and can't explain it really. Flame away orange cat owners...

YOU CAN GO RIGHT TO HELL.

MuffinMom14

alfibet said:

I am still laughing at the poster who said "I have friends in the computer"( sorry there's too many posts to  go back and find who said that) That is so me right now.

As for the board dynamic thing, I was trying to explain this board to my dh the other day, and he was so baffled. I was telling him about someone getting "flamed" and it was funny to watch him try to understand. He's never been on a forum or anything before. Pretty funny to see someone totally on the outside with no idea how any of this stuff works, and how weird the concept is.

For UO: I completely agree with the poster who said they hate music (again I'm sorry I didn't find the poster who said it ) I SO hate music. When I was 18, a friend and I followed a band around to several countries going to their concerts... But sometime around 22 years old, I just stopped caring so much about music. It got boring and repetitive. Now It's the strict like rhythm to the music that drives me crazy? I guess? the verse, chorus, verse thing, then the background instruments that are doing the same beat or sound throughout the whole song just feel so loud to me, so much louder than the lyrics. All I hear is that one instrument making the same exact sound every few seconds... especially in music that uses "beats" like hip hop or rap. I will almost always drive around with just silence, unless my step son is in the car. I'll play music for him because he enjoys it.

STUCK IN THE BOX BUT THAT WAS MEEEEE.

MuffinMom14

alfibet said:

I am still laughing at the poster who said "I have friends in the computer"( sorry there's too many posts to  go back and find who said that) That is so me right now.

As for the board dynamic thing, I was trying to explain this board to my dh the other day, and he was so baffled. I was telling him about someone getting "flamed" and it was funny to watch him try to understand. He's never been on a forum or anything before. Pretty funny to see someone totally on the outside with no idea how any of this stuff works, and how weird the concept is.

For UO: I completely agree with the poster who said they hate music (again I'm sorry I didn't find the poster who said it ) I SO hate music. When I was 18, a friend and I followed a band around to several countries going to their concerts... But sometime around 22 years old, I just stopped caring so much about music. It got boring and repetitive. Now It's the strict like rhythm to the music that drives me crazy? I guess? the verse, chorus, verse thing, then the background instruments that are doing the same beat or sound throughout the whole song just feel so loud to me, so much louder than the lyrics. All I hear is that one instrument making the same exact sound every few seconds... especially in music that uses "beats" like hip hop or rap. I will almost always drive around with just silence, unless my step son is in the car. I'll play music for him because he enjoys it.

STUCK IN THE BOX BUT THAT WAS MEEEEE.

MuffinMom14

FamousEa said:

Can we start an orange kitty thread? I'm loving the orange cats :x

YOU DO THAT RIGHT NOW.

LightBright515

Purp..

Y you no talk without yelling in all caps?

MuffinMom14

LightBright515 said:

Purp.. Y you no talk without yelling in all caps?

I want to make sure my friends in the computer can HEAR ME IN THE BACK.

onelilroo

All the orange cats are ADORABLE!!! Oh, and Maxx isn't orange, but he says you should love all felines regardless of color!!

golfingdarwinfish

onelilroo said:

All the orange cats are ADORABLE!!! Oh, and Maxx isn't orange, but he says you should love all felines regardless of color!!

Maxx is very wise.

Saragoeswest

OMG THIS THREAD IS SO LONG!

So I know I'm like three pages too late (the horror!) but I wanted to weigh in on the sex thing. I will NOT comment on the marriages of other people. I can only speak for myself. Before reading this thread, I would have said I'm in the "never say no to your spouse" camp. BUT. Now I realize there are some important distinctions to make. Like if your spouse is a major douche or you have some physical/mental health stuff going on, that changes things. And it's equally important that sex is not the only type if intimacy in marriage.

But. In my relationship, in normal health, when we are connected on all other levels, it's not okay with me for either one of us to deny the other sex. He has said no to me and it was very hurtful. I will not do that. Ever. Even though he would probably be way more understanding than I was. Flame away.

wildflower75

Saragoeswest said:

OMG THIS THREAD IS SO LONG!

So I know I'm like three pages too late (the horror!) but I wanted to weigh in on the sex thing. I will NOT comment on the marriages of other people. I can only speak for myself. Before reading this thread, I would have said I'm in the "never say no to your spouse" camp. BUT. Now I realize there are some important distinctions to make. Like if your spouse is a major douche or you have some physical/mental health stuff going on, that changes things. And it's equally important that sex is not the only type if intimacy in marriage.

But. In my relationship, in normal health, when we are connected on all other levels, it's not okay with me for either one of us to deny the other sex. He has said no to me and it was very hurtful. I will not do that. Ever. Even though he would probably be way more understanding than I was. Flame away.

THIS 100 %
(sorry for those who don't like quotes)

golfingdarwinfish

@tickettuesday

You are just too sweet, and I truly hope you haven't been fearful of expressing your views. As I have told you before, I have never been offended by the way you present your views, even when we staunchly disagree on issues. You have such a high level of social&personal awareness, as well as respect for others, that I would have a difficult time rolling my eyes at you.

MuffinMom14

theresat858 said:

Finally caught up! Um no, if I'm not feeling it, DH isn't getting any. I couldn't be with a man who didn't respect that. He has a hand for his "needs". And we haven't had sex in about a month bc it just hurts too much every time (and I have no desire). We won't have a sex life for another 1.5 yrs or so, given that I don't have much of a drive while breastfeeding either (though it started to come back a few months before we conceived this one despite still nursing DD). Orange cats are cute, but not the cutest. Except my friends old cat..he was awesome. You never have to worry that I won't say what I think...that is, if I bothered to read a post. Twenty paragraphs about a shower was too much for me. ETA: and I read on mobile when not logged in, so no love tits from me today. Sorry ladies!

He IS the cutest, and you are wrong.

MrsSinner402

I have to admit, beyond page 9 of this thread, the only posts I actually read were the ones pertaining to orange cats.

Cats 4 lyfe.

onelilroo

Totally just died of the cute!! Showed hubby too, and he agreed we need a bowtie for Maxx!!

Emerald27

@SPurp13‌ That bow tie!!! 8->

He surprisingly looks pretty happy too. I'm pretty sure either of my cats would shred it after immediately tearing it off. Lol

JessAnnJ

TheOtherJacobsons said:

Ok, I am not done talking about the climate of our board. 

Yes, there have been things that have been said on this board that should probably have had more of a discussion. I know for me that the reason I sometimes don't speak up is because sometimes it doesn't really seem that important to me to flame someone, not because they are popular, but because for one reason or another I don't find it necessary to get into it.

There have been people who are not part of our community that have flamed us for both being too harsh and too lenient on our bumpie sisters. When this criticism comes from people who are not part of our community, we of course will jump on them. Their opinion doesn't matter. Not to me. What does matter to me are the opinions of the women here. Even the lurkers (Not as much mind you, but I still would listen to you if you actually said something other than how shitty we are. You know who you are.) I have said plenty of things that are flame worthy and been flamed for them! I took it, absorbed it, and it either changed me or it didn't. 

I think what is being confused here is that we stick up for our own and that can come across as siding with an idea or a person and not the actual intent, which is to protect our community of people. If someone came here and flamed one of our girls, regardless of whether or not they deserved it, I would stick up for that person because I am a loyal friend. I think a side effect of this is that people who lurk or heck apparently even regulars feel like they cannot express their opinion. Believe me, I would take the opinion of someone here over someone who doesn't go here any day of the week. 

Now, I am not talking about people who harbor hate or are hurtful people. If you were honestly a bad person and meant something shitty you said, you wouldn't have lasted long here anyway, but I wouldn't blindly defend you. I don't think we have anyone like that here. I honestly think that we all mean well, even when we put our feet in our mouths. Which is why I give most of you the benefit of the doubt. 

This whole TB/FB thing is an interesting one. Some went there because they didn't like it here. Then some came back to tell us how much we sucked. Not really sure I feel the togetherness of that kind of behavior. We are a public community and they are private, so there is really no way for us to discuss this in the same way that they do. I am a member of both as I have said and I spend most of my time here. I honestly don't feel welcome there because of their culture. Now, when I do comment, I am welcomed, but I cannot say that I feel the same way there as I do here with regards to this sisterhood I have mentioned. I have to imagine that they feel the same way when they come here. Unfortunately, we are not the same community of people and that is kind of sad. 

One final thing I want to say is that not saying something when you want to say something only helps perpetuate the problem. The regs became regs because we spoke up. I have been flamed more times than I can count. There have been times that I have wanted to close my account and never come back. The thing is, I didn't. I kept commenting. It really is up to the people who are silent to make themselves heard. There might be some growing pains by finally coming out and speaking your mind, but ultimately you are the only one who can do this. I can say that if speaking your mind consists of telling us how much we suck, we're not going to be receptive. It is your responsibility
to speak up, not our responsibility to pave a road of rainbows and glitter. 

My sigh worthy issue was when a certain member got banned. That particular member happened to disagree on multiple occasions with a popular member and very few people spoke up. To me getting banned,
even if it was only temporary, is serious and the fact that few people commented just seemed way too mean girls group thinkish for my taste.

Edited typos/clarity

MrsSarahRenee

MrsCunningham22 said:

Last week it was man candy on the UO thread, this week is cat candy )

You guys have really cute cats, but I think we should make it a rule to include man candy in our UO threads... Or FFFC ... Or both.

Unknown

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