UO

mandamoochie · August 2014

I'd just like to say im super proud of all the f15ers for having a religious based convo and not have it get weird/preachy/demeaning/ argumentative etc. YAAAAY.

psychobutthead · August 2014

Ugh I went to high school with a girl who spelled her sons name that way. I think Jackson is a very nice name.People just need to quit adding X's.

thegoodpotato · August 2014

2013JEM said:
MY UO for the week-
I hate the term "Pregnancy Brain" and cringe everytime I hear it. I think it is crap--and demeaning to women (similar to blonde jokes, or driving jokes). Am I tired all the time and not sleeping well--YES! Does that make it harder to remember to pick up the dry-cleaning-YES. Is that the baby's fault-NO. Would I ever use 'Pregnancy Brain" as an excuse--No...I just try harder.
Flame Away.

I do feel like pregnancy brain is a thing. Especially in the early months when you're just that wee but oxygen deprived as you're building up your blood levels and trying to catch up on supplying the baby with essentials.

I definitely felt much fuzzier and it was a lot harder to concentrate. I don't think it's a made-up thing. I've experienced severe blood loss, and I know how poorly that makes you function. I am not surprised that you're not at 100% capacity during early pregnancy.

MommyOfAMiracle · August 2014

We are getting the early U/S and our reason being is that DH can't get the time off of work at 20 weeks. We can have it done for $65.00 after hours so he can be there.

Another reason why we are doing it is because my family is MORE than ecstatic about the new addition, (first niece/ nephew/ grandbaby) and they all want to be a part of it. We can have up to 15 people with us if we'd like. But we are keeping it to immediate family only.

We never thought this was going to happen. I was TOLD it would never happen. It was written in the stars otherwise and we are basking in it as much as we can.

It's a new/ exciting time in our lives, personally, and we are taking FULL advantage.

P.S. I am still keeping my appointment at 20 weeks.

ETA: I sound like a lunatic. But I don't really care. haha

psychobutthead · August 2014

MommyOfAMiracle said:

We are getting the early U/S and our reason being is that DH can't get the time off of work at 20 weeks. We can have it done for $65.00 after hours so he can be there.
Another reason why we are doing it is because my family is MORE than ecstatic about the new addition, (first niece/ nephew/ grandbaby) and they all want to be a part of it. We can have up to 15 people with us if we'd like. But we are keeping it to immediate family only.
We never thought this was going to happen. I was TOLD it would never happen. It was written in the stars otherwise and we are basking in it as much as we can.
It's a new/ exciting time in our lives, personally, and we are taking FULL advantage.
P.S. I am still keeping my appointment at 20 weeks.

ETA: I sound like a lunatic. But I don't really care. haha

I also like that you can bring up to 15 people. But here its $65 and I really want to know the gender as soon as possible. I'd feel more comfortable with people coming to an elective one once I've already had my NT scan and everythings fine. Its just exciting and if you have the money and want to spend it I agree take full advantage.

FlowerPower16 · August 2014

2013JEM said:

FlowerPower16 said:

Maybe I'm cheap, but I just don't get why people would pay extra to have an elective ultrasound to find out the sex of their baby. Especially when they are having an ultrasound at their doctor's or midwife's office a few weeks later. Why not just wait until 20 weeks when baby is that much bigger and everything is easier to see? What if at the elective ultrasound they see something wrong with the baby? Are they obligated to tell you or do they just say nothing?

What if the price of the ultrasound has like zero bearing on our budget? For some people $100 may be a big deal and I get that, but to be honest, for us, it simply isn't.
My last A/S was a bit terrifying because I learned I had plancenta previa--totally took some of the 'joy' out of finding out the sex. So yes, DH and I are going to skip out of work early, pay $100, and find out the sex of the baby and nothing else at 16 weeks. Then we will probably go shopping for clothes, pick up DD, and call the grandparents to celebrate. I'm looking foward to it.

That way at 20 weeks, I can focus on the serious stuff (development, disease, placenta health, etc).

I feel the same way about them regardless of budget. We can afford to spend the extra money on an elective ultrasound also, but I still wouldn't do it.

tlc4mama · August 2014

smg2302 said:
I wish I knew how to twerk. Not that I would ever do it, but I dance like a dad at the middle school dance.

OMG me too! I just wish I had an ass. I'm like Spongebob back there. Flat and square :-/

HerHighness · August 2014

2013JEM said:

MY UO for the week-
I hate the term "Pregnancy Brain" and cringe everytime I hear it. I think it is crap--and demeaning to women (similar to blonde jokes, or driving jokes). Am I tired all the time and not sleeping well--YES! Does that make it harder to remember to pick up the dry-cleaning-YES. Is that the baby's fault-NO. Would I ever use 'Pregnancy Brain" as an excuse--No...I just try harder.
Flame Away.

No flames from me but i will say pregnancy brain is very very real. I am normally very quick with and when i am pregnant my brain definitely does not work as fast. It has happened all 3 pregnancies.

Amaryllismagic · August 2014

Don't flame me or call me a WK...but this is how I feel about all the comments on the guess the sex u/s posts:

The OPs are just excited, bless their little hearts. Why not ignore them and let the ones who want to guess have their fun? I don't even click on most of them, and if the regulars don't comment then they will move off the first page of threads pretty quickly...and soon everyone will know and we won't have this problem anymore.

magsame · August 2014

hikerlady said:

WanderingA said:

Okay I don't know if this should go on UO or FFFC but here goes nothing...

I don't think that parents should force their children into religion at an early age. Absolutely teach your children about your religion and have them experience it, but teach them about other religions too. I think that a child growing up believing something is absolutely right or absolutely wrong because their religion tells them so blocks opportunities for them to form some of their own opinions and become empathetic.

I am not a religious person (mother is a former Catholic and Dad is atheist) but when I was entering my teen years I started studying a lot of different religions. My mom offered to take my to church is I wanted but also offered to take me to any other religious service I wanted to go to. Going into my quest for religion with an open mind really helped me to figure out what is important to me morally and forced me to form my own opinions.

And putting this right here in case anyone misunderstands me - I am NOT anti-religion, I am just an advocate of letting individuals chose their own spiritual path.

@WanderingA I completely agree with you. My parents are Catholic and my dad is very Catholic (not crazy shout it from the rooftop Catholic, but definitely old school Catholic). I went to Catholic schools through college and the religion was shoved down my throat at every turn. I stopped going to church in college and my dad refused to talk to me on Sundays for years. I'm fascinated by different religions but so turned off from being a part of any organized religion because of my experiences.

DH grew up Lutheran but feels the same way. He feels that we should baptize our baby, so we'll do it in the Lutheran church, but we aren't going to raise our baby to be anything. We will definitely encourage him/her to learn as much as possible and form its own opinions one way or another.

This. Only opposite. I'm Lutheran and DH is Catholic. We are not hardcore religious, going to church every Sunday people, but we do want our child baptized and it will probably be in the Lutheran church. Then as he/she grows and learns they can make a decision.

Ducktale · August 2014

I get teaching about other religions, tolerance, not forcing religion on a child, etc. but I'm with @jaztaz1‌ . If my religion is what I truly believe why would I teach my children to believe other ideas? Especially young kids who take what your parents say at face value. I am deeply Christian (who doesn't have a problem with the f word or gay people by the way), so I will teach my child that there is a God, and Jesus died, etc. Why would I teach my child that this prophet Mohammed lived and received messages from God, etc if I don't believe that? Again, I get teaching about other religions and tolerance, and allowing them space to explore when they get older.

ETA: oh and I get people choosing to do things differently, especially if you don't feel strongly about a particular religion.

Amaryllismagic · August 2014

CrazyCornball said:

Amaryllismagic said:

Don't flame me or call me a WK...but this is how I feel about all the comments on the guess the sex u/s posts:

The OPs are just excited, bless their little hearts. Why not ignore them and let the ones who want to guess have their fun? I don't even click on most of them, and if the regulars don't comment then they will move off the first page of threads pretty quickly...and soon everyone will know and we won't have this problem anymore.

Because this isn't how the internet works.

I get that. I'm just not the type to add fuel to the fire, especially when the name calling starts. Though y'all can come up with some good ones... twatwaffle anyone? ;-) @herhighness

mmariel · August 2014

psychobutthead said:
Ugh I went to high school with a girl who spelled her sons name that way. I think Jackson is a very nice name.People just need to quit adding X's.

I completely agree with you! JACKSON is one of our boy names. Jack for short. Not Jaxon or Jax for short!! I hate it!

MommyOfAMiracle · August 2014

MommyOfAMiracle · August 2014

OMG! MY FAVE!

HerHighness · August 2014

Lmao! Hey that twatwaffle deserved to be called a twatwaffle!

Amaryllismagic · August 2014

@MommyofaMiracle is queen of the board today :-)

WanderingA · August 2014

Ducktale said:

I get teaching about other religions, tolerance, not forcing religion on a child, etc. but I'm with @jaztaz1‌ . If my religion is what I truly believe why would I teach my children to believe other ideas? Especially young kids who take what your parents say at face value. I am deeply Christian (who doesn't have a problem with the f word or gay people by the way), so I will teach my child that there is a God, and Jesus died, etc. Why would I teach my child that this prophet Mohammed lived and received messages from God, etc if I don't believe that? Again, I get teaching about other religions and tolerance, and allowing them space to explore when they get older. ETA: oh and I get people choosing to do things differently, especially if you don't feel strongly about a particular religion.

I don't think you should teach your child to believe every religion (you would get a WHOLE LOT of contradictions), you should just teach your child about different religions and let them decide what they believe when they are old enough to understand those beliefs and form their own ideas. The whole idea of "this is what we believe and you should believe it 100%" just doesn't sit well with me. Although, to contradict myself, I understand and appreciate that religious heritage is important to pass down. I just think that baptising your child into a religion before they really have any comprehension of the implications isn't right.

I realize that this isn't a belief of most people though, so again...UO

HerHighness · August 2014

MommyOfAMiracle said:

This is hilarious as i also call people both asshat and douchecanoe

mandamoochie · August 2014

Douche canoe is my go-to, tried and true. Hehe

mahalo3 · August 2014

As far as religion is concerned, I see it like @jaxtaz1 and @ducktale. I personally would consider myself agnostic. I still want to believe in God, and I hold onto the hope that maybe God's timeline and mine are not the same. Example: The world was made in 7 days. I still believe in evolution so maybe God's 7 days is million of years in people time??? My husband is atheist. My grandparents are Baptist and my Dad and In laws are Catholic. They do not believe the same things,and there is no room for believing in something different than they do because they believe to their core their religion is the truth and reality. We could learn about other religions all we wanted, but we also were taught that those religions were wrong. I think when you really believe something to your core, you teach your children those same beliefs because you believe them to be real and right. We don't want our children to believe in something we thinks is wrong (expect for Santa and the tooth fairy

) I feel like I don't make sense.

Ducktale · August 2014

WanderingA said:

Ducktale said:

I get teaching about other religions, tolerance, not forcing religion on a child, etc. but I'm with @jaztaz1‌ . If my religion is what I truly believe why would I teach my children to believe other ideas? Especially young kids who take what your parents say at face value. I am deeply Christian (who doesn't have a problem with the f word or gay people by the way), so I will teach my child that there is a God, and Jesus died, etc. Why would I teach my child that this prophet Mohammed lived and received messages from God, etc if I don't believe that? Again, I get teaching about other religions and tolerance, and allowing them space to explore when they get older.

ETA: oh and I get people choosing to do things differently, especially if you don't feel strongly about a particular religion.

I don't think you should teach your child to believe every religion (you would get a WHOLE LOT of contradictions), you should just teach your child about different religions and let them decide what they believe when they are old enough to understand those beliefs and form their own ideas. The whole idea of "this is what we believe and you should believe it 100%" just doesn't sit well with me. Although, to contradict myself, I understand and appreciate that religious heritage is important to pass down. I just think that baptising your child into a religion before they really have any comprehension of the implications isn't right.

I realize that this isn't a belief of most people though, so again...UO

-------quote fail-------
Where you're losing me is that you don't think it's okay for me to teach my kids that my religion is right. I understand your point of view and if that's how you choose to handle religion in your family, by all means go for it. But it doesn't make what I will do wrong just like any other parenting choice that I make that differs from one you'll make. That's being judgmental.

WanderingA · August 2014

Ducktale said:

Ducktale said:

I get teaching about other religions, tolerance, not forcing religion on a child, etc. but I'm with @jaztaz1‌ . If my religion is what I truly believe why would I teach my children to believe other ideas? Especially young kids who take what your parents say at face value. I am deeply Christian (who doesn't have a problem with the f word or gay people by the way), so I will teach my child that there is a God, and Jesus died, etc. Why would I teach my child that this prophet Mohammed lived and received messages from God, etc if I don't believe that? Again, I get teaching about other religions and tolerance, and allowing them space to explore when they get older. ETA: oh and I get people choosing to do things differently, especially if you don't feel strongly about a particular religion.

I don't think you should teach your child to believe every religion (you would get a WHOLE LOT of contradictions), you should just teach your child about different religions and let them decide what they believe when they are old enough to understand those beliefs and form their own ideas. The whole idea of "this is what we believe and you should believe it 100%" just doesn't sit well with me. Although, to contradict myself, I understand and appreciate that religious heritage is important to pass down. I just think that baptising your child into a religion before they really have any comprehension of the implications isn't right.

I realize that this isn't a belief of most people though, so again...UO
-------quote fail------- Where you're losing me is that you don't think it's okay for me to teach my kids that my religion is right. I understand your point of view and if that's how you choose to handle religion in your family, by all means go for it. But it doesn't make what I will do wrong just like any other parenting choice that I make that differs from one you'll make. That's being judgmental.

I certainly don't judge people who raise their children to be religious, I am just not going to make that same decision for my family. By all means raise your children to follow your religion if that's what you believe, just explore other religions with them as well and be supportive of their curiosity. Not necessarily so that they can choose their own religion, but so that they have an understanding of the different viewpoints and can develop empathy and understanding for different beliefs.

Ducktale · August 2014

@WanderingA‌ you said teaching a child to believe something 100% "doesn't sit right with you" and baptizing your child into a religion before they can comprehend "isn't right". There's a big difference between "isn't right for my family" and "isn't right, period." I'll be teaching my child to believe what my husband and I believe. If they want to explore other religions on their own that's there choice, and I will love them regardless; I don't think you can force someone to believe something anyway. But I will do what I can to encourage my faith tradition, and the fact that you think that's not okay for me to do with my family isn't sitting right with me.

jaztastic · August 2014

miniwheat10 said:

I love this convo on religion right now. You guys have some great back and forth that has really got my thinking about our own "limbo" right now in regards to religion.

I feel like I am stuck somewhere between the 2 main point of view in this thread. I am Catholic, DH isn't and our families all Catholic. My parents are up in arms that DD isn't baptized yet.
I feel like I need to be reconnect with my faith to better guide my kids into it. I feel like I wouldn't be doing a proper job of it right now and it deserves a 100% effort on my part. This probably makes zero sense and I am lacking a contributing thought but I love the topic.
It got DH and I talking about how I feel about it again which we needed to do!

F15 Rules.

That makes total sense to me. Getting pregnant, has sort of encouraged to me be more active in my faith again, in my studies and what I believe and stand for... So that I can help be a better example for my child. It's something I've been trying to do anyway, but this is more of a push for me.

JBerry13 · August 2014

So, I'm a super lurker who is coming out of the woodwork because this talk about religion is something that I've been having with DH a lot recently. We're both members of the LDS church and fully agree with the gospel of it, but we disagree with a lot of "Mormon culture"- it seems like a lot of families around us (we live in the heart of Utah) refuse to teach their children about other religions and I firmly believe that that, among other things, perpetuates the stereotypes of us being a closed- minded religious people. So that is why we've decided that we need to teach our children about other religions and cultures and such early. But mostly so that they grow up tolerant of other people, because that needs to start young.
Also, I'm totally freaking out because this is my first comment. Hi guys?

Ducktale · August 2014

I also want to say that even though I disagree with @WanderingA‌ I still totally dig her and like that we all can have level headed, rational conversations about important topics without someone going off the deep end.

jaztastic · August 2014

@ducktale I think that's why I

this board. I feel like I go against the grain a lot and feel perfectly fine disagreeing with you all. I don't think our regs get butt hurt or bent out of shape like that. We say what we feel, stand by our feelings, and go right back to business as usual.

mandamoochie · August 2014

@jberry13 hi there! Welcome. I applaud your effort if that is how you and your DH will teach your children. I grew up catholic and I still am, but I had LDS friends and I always did youth activities with them growing up (dances, YW camp etc) the reason I stopped going is because at one point it got to be where the adults (fully knowing I wasnt a member) would be purposely demean my religion and would tell me im not going to heaven and such since im not LDS. I was a kid.

I know how difficult that could actually be if you decide to teach your children about other religious beliefs. You are a strong woman and will be great parents

jaztastic · August 2014

JBerry13 said:

So, I'm a super lurker who is coming out of the woodwork because this talk about religion is something that I've been having with DH a lot recently. We're both members of the LDS church and fully agree with the gospel of it, but we disagree with a lot of "Mormon culture"- it seems like a lot of families around us (we live in the heart of Utah) refuse to teach their children about other religions and I firmly believe that that, among other things, perpetuates the stereotypes of us being a closed- minded religious people. So that is why we've decided that we need to teach our children about other religions and cultures and such early. But mostly so that they grow up tolerant of other people, because that needs to start young. Also, I'm totally freaking out because this is my first comment. Hi guys?

Hey there! So I didn't know I knew any LDS, and my whole outlook was formed based loosely on Big Love. I happened to be discussing it with a coworker and found out he was LDS. We had many good deep religious based conversations after that. (I have no idea what my point is, I just wanted to say hello)

JBerry13 · August 2014

@mandamoochie‌ Those are the adults (do they even deserve to be called adults at that point?) who need a kick in the pants. Ridiculous.
Also, thank you! You've won the love of this nervous FTM.

foxslaw · August 2014

srcr2011 said:
I don't want to offend anyone, but my UO, I dont like non-traditional spelling of names. A non unique name spelled to make it uneek. Like Kaleb vs Caleb or Jaxon vs Jackson. Please don't flame me ;;)

As my boyfriend's name is one of those, I'm going to have to disagree with you.

boxerrrmama85 · August 2014

What a great and respectful convo ladies. I'm very impressed and proud to be part of this awesome group.

One of my favorite quotes: "I love your Christ, but I dislike your Christians because they are so unlike your Christ." This is my sentiment to almost all religions. I feel that at all religions' core there is good, but it is so distorted and used to propagate hate. I want to teach my child to love all people, to be a good citizen of humanity, and to be kind.

I know this is going to be a difficult part of raising our child for my husband and myself. He is Christian (non-denom) and has so much faith in his beliefs. I question all religiosity and can't subscribe to thoughts and feelings that don't have merit in my standing. I will however be respectful of my husband and his beliefs by taking my child to church, but I plan on showing my child that all walks of life are right whichever a person may choose.

crabigator · August 2014

OK, as someone who's new, first off, I just wanted to say that I clicked on this thread because I was amazed that there were FOUR PAGES of people who had something to say about Urban Outfitters. $:\$ ">

Now that I actually get it, here's my UO: I think I can eat/drink basically anything I want during this pregnancy. I avoid some stuff, but to be honest, they're all things I barely ever had when not pregnant (cold cuts, alcohol). But I don't give too much thought to seafood (raw or cooked) or caffeine. As with most UOs, I don't begrudge anyone else who chooses differently. I just opt to not worry too much about it.

freegiraffe · August 2014

DH and I were both raised sort of Catholic but we're not religious now. I say sort of because my dad was an atheist and my mom is more of a spiritual/earthy person but I went to Catholic school and the few times we ever went to church, it was Catholic mass. DH's family was about the same.

I remember a time in 3rd or 4th grade when we learned about Creationism in science class. I came home and told my dad what I learned that day, and he told me that my teacher was wrong and stupid. This was upsetting to me as I liked my teacher and couldn't understand why my dad would insult her. I think that was the beginning of my understanding that people believed different things about the world, but at the time I was really confused about who was right and who was wrong.

We will raise our kids within our belief system, which is liberal and not religious, but be open to giving them any opportunity to experience different religions and help them understand what others believe and why.

mom2reesepiece · August 2014

chickenhawke said:

My two cents:

We plan to "steal" the fundamental qualities from our Jew-ish and Christian-ish backgrounds; love, seek to understand others, make a positive impact on the community and help others, and take time to reflect on your beliefs. BUT intend (which is an important distinction) to refrain from sharing our endorsements or reservations on particular religions with our child.

That being said, I think there is something to be said for some of our friends that fundamentally believe differently than we do (say, religion is ingrained into the fabric of their family and daily lives) and that is fascinating and OKAY. We all are aiming to do what is best for our children so that they grow up loved and able to love thoughtfully - correct?

Gah, I love F15!

This is exactly how DH and I feel. We are still struggling with how to introduce religion to our child, but we know these qualities are a strong foundation for whatever path they choose.

foxslaw · August 2014

My UO, but maybe not an UO for others?, is that I absolutely refuse to spank my child & if someone ever spanks my child they will receive the wrath of Zeus. I wasn't raised that way, so I don't really feel it's necessary.

Each to her own, though. I just know it's not me, or my parenting style. If you spank your child, I am in no way calling you a 'bad mom'.

SNail312` · August 2014

Gah I love you guys. Awesome thread!

This is a dilemma for us too. DH is LCMS (super conservative Lutheran) and I'm non-denominational. His background is incredibly intense. Mine is very much not. We agreed on baptism in a Lutheran church, even though my home church does infant dedications- not baptisms. So we've got that settled. We'll then take him or her to both churches. (Poor kid) my reason behind this is I don't think any young child can effectively learn something by being forced to sit quietly for an hour. My church has a great Sunday school. Overall big differences in the philosophies of each church and the baby will get exposure to both. Then, when it comes time for conformation (13 I think?) they get to choose for themselves if they want to be confirmed in the LCMS church. My in laws will combust at this news. We may literally be disowned. Good thing it's over a decade away?

WanderingA · August 2014

Ducktale said:

@WanderingA‌ you said teaching a child to believe something 100% "doesn't sit right with you" and baptizing your child into a religion before they can comprehend "isn't right". There's a big difference between "isn't right for my family" and "isn't right, period." I'll be teaching my child to believe what my husband and I believe. If they want to explore other religions on their own that's there choice, and I will love them regardless; I don't think you can force someone to believe something anyway. But I will do what I can to encourage my faith tradition, and the fact that you think that's not okay for me to do with my family isn't sitting right with me.

I think I just phrased this poorly, I sincerely apologize if I offended anyone (especially you @Ducktale and @JazTaz1 - loveeeeeeeee meeeeee!!!). What "doesn't sit right with me" is teaching children that your religion is the "one and only" so to speak. Yes, I think that having a child make a pledge (confirmaion) to a religion before they can really comprehend what they are doing "isn't right" but I certainly don't judge people who do so. I also have no problem at all with people who raise their children with religion playing a large part in their lives, I just think that religious education should include information about all religions (not promotion, just information) and parents should show acceptance and love if their child makes a different spiritual choice than they have when they are old enough to do so. There are lots of parenting choices that people make that I don't agree with but I don't judge people for it, I think that differences like that make the world go round!

TLDR: Religion is fine, being an asshole about it is not.

And here are some odd emoticons to end this thread...

:bz :^o :ar! :o3 3:-O =P~ :@)

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