Alright. I have been a complete stress bomb. I literally have no idea what to do. Okay so my husband comes from a very crunchy family and lifestyle, his mom is a doula for starters.. so I am pretty sure even before I got pregnant I was expected to give birth naturally and probably in my home. I did not grow up thinking that way, and while I respect that and really look at all the knowledge they have and think it's beautiful, I don't know if I can do it. At least not for this birth. I think. I am 4 and a half months pregnant and I feel so stressed and unprepared for this. Here is a little background as to why..this pregnancy was not planned, I have a terrible skin condition, that no doctor can figure out, sleep is a challenge every night..I struggle mentally daily from sexual abuse I had..I honestly don't feel very mentally stable, I mean I don't feel suicidal or whatever but I just don't know how mentally prepared I can become because I want focus on healing myself mentally/emotionally/physically as much as possible before my sweet baby comes. I know preparing for a natural birth takes lots of preparing in every way. I have my husband and his family telling me tons of risks are at stake if I get an epidural. I am scared. I don't want to disappoint anyone. Including myself. I don't know what is the best..so I need you ladies to help share what you did, why you did it, and honestly what you think I should do. I have no friends and my family lives far away. I just need some advice from the outside. Please help me. I write you in tears.
Re: first time mommy needs help from not first time mommy's! (or anyone)
Your baby will help you decide when the time comes, I wouldn't worry too much about natural vs epidural. You can only do what feels right for you and if someone else doesn't like it thats just too bad!
I was all set on getting the shot, maybe an epidural later if I needed it. Honestly when I was induced I was playing cards with my fiance (and winning!) and laughing with the nurses. At 7cm I was finally ready for the shot but by the time they came in I was already at 10 and involuntarily had her without any drugs at all! I lived and it really wasn't that bad. The worst part was having the need to push and being told not to. I ignored them and she was out 2 minutes later.
Your baby and your body will tell you what you need. No matter what you decide it will be the best decision for you. You already know what your decision is if you don't like what people are telling you. Trust your instincts. Mommy instincts kick in before the baby's born. Daddy instincts take a little longer ;-)
All the best to you, I hope this helped some. :-)
BFP #1 12/02/11, M/C 12/08/11
BFP #2 04/06/12, DD born 12/20/12
BFP #3 06/09/14, M/C 06/15/14