Thoughts on circumcision?

starrynight1658 · June 2014

tlc4mama said:

"To each, their own" is exactly my point. My son's penis is not mine. It's not my decision to make.

This is a ridiculous statement to make. As parents we make all kinds of decisions on behalf of our children. You've made a choice based in research and your family's beliefs and that's respectable. But to imply that you can't make a decision because it's your son's body is absurd.

mands1125 · June 2014

Wow. I'm really surprised of how many are against this. Maybe it's a regional thing, but I thought it was pretty much common to have it done and rare to not. I once had a convo with 5-6 girlfriends and not a single one of us even had been with a man that wasn't! .

animalcrckr · June 2014

starrynight1658 said:

FFS, I hate this discussion. Like very other parenting decision, you do what's best for you and your family. There's no need to judge, shame, or mock others over what they decide to do with their son's penis skin. The AAP says that the health benefits outweigh the risks but it's a decision best left up to parents. Throwing around genital mutilation and anecdotes isn't productive or informative. If you're undecided, talk with a medical professional or two, and make a decision based on that.

The AAP says "New scientific evidence shows the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks of the procedure, but the benefits are not great enough to recommend routine circumcision for all newborn boys."

It helps to give the entire statement. I think it's a decision each family makes themselves. I do not feel the need to discuss the state of my husband and sons' penises.

lmhamze · June 2014

starrynight1658 said:

tlc4mama said:

"To each, their own" is exactly my point. My son's penis is not mine. It's not my decision to make.

This is a ridiculous statement to make. As parents we make all kinds of decisions on behalf of our children. You've made a choice based in research and your family's beliefs and that's respectable. But to imply that you can't make a decision because it's your son's body is absurd.

All of this that @starrynight1658‌ said! I'm not going to argue with you, but your last comment makes you sound ridiculous. You obviously completely missed my point. Good for you for making an educated decision about your sons, however who do you think you are for judging or making rude comments towards other parents for making educated decisions about their own children that differ from yours!
End the mommy wars!!
https://ctworkingmoms.com/2013/06/11/end-the-mommy-wars-special-photo-edition/

Lrjjj08 · June 2014

My son is, and this baby will be as well if it's a boy. It should be a decision that you both make together.

mishka29 · June 2014

mands1125 said:

Wow. I'm really surprised of how many are against this. Maybe it's a regional thing, but I thought it was pretty much common to have it done and rare to not. I once had a convo with 5-6 girlfriends and not a single one of us even had been with a man that wasn't! .

This was my thought as well but it seems the trend it starting to go back towards non circum.

HeyStVincent · June 2014

I don't have strong feelings about the topic either way. I think it's up to the family to decide. We probably will circumcize, but I'll leave that decision up to my husband (if we're having a boy).

As a side note, just before Christmas last year my family came into town and my mom, aunt, cousin and I went out to see all the lights/decorations on Michigan Avenue (in Chicago). There was this huge protest going on in the thick of the Mag Mile against circumcision. A sizeable group of men (maybe a 12 or so) were walking around all bloodied (makeup) with posters of butchered bloody pensises. They were protesting circumcision. It was quite the sight among all the Christmas decor!

Also, as far as research goes...there are a lot of conflicting studies. I don't really know what to believe!

tlc4mama · June 2014

I never said anything judgmental. I pointed out the reason we didn't do it.

bigtuna486 · June 2014

My ex boyfriend was uncircumcised. He was irritated with his parents for not getting him circumcised when he was born. He would get teased in the locker room because of it and often felt self conscious with women, thinking they were secretly grossed out by it. The number of circumcised men/boys still outweigh the number of uncircumcised men, which is why my ex was singled out and made fun of. Much of the teasing was in a light hearted tone but it still really embarrassed him and made him feel bad. I think both ways have benefits/negatives but I will probably opt for circumcision after seeing how self conscious/embarrassed it made my ex (and for the added risk of infections) . I am definitely not trying to imply that all uncircumcised men will be teased, just sharing my experience.

tlc4mama · June 2014

Girls get teased and feel self conscious for having small breasts. Should we give them breast implants to keep this from happening? Or should we explain to our sons what circumcision actually is and allow them to see the procedure so that they may be thankful that it wasn't done?

mh269650 · June 2014

This was never an issue or huge to-do for me or DH. We brought it up and are both pro circ. so should we have a boy he will be, as DH is.

tlc4mama · June 2014

Edited by mod, graphic images.

NSFW video of neonatal circumcision here.

HeyStVincent · June 2014

starrynight1658 said:

FFS, I hate this discussion. Like very other parenting decision, you do what's best for you and your family. There's no need to judge, shame, or mock others over what they decide to do with their son's penis skin. The AAP says that the health benefits outweigh the risks but it's a decision best left up to parents. Throwing around genital mutilation and anecdotes isn't productive or informative. If you're undecided, talk with a medical professional or two, and make a decision based on that.

^^THIS. I don't think it matters one way or the other - it's a personal decision and the research goes both ways.

As an aside, I feel like women just cannot win. People judge us for how we look, our size (can't be too skinny, but can't have too much cellulite - it's like there are only two goddamn sizes the world finds acceptable). Then when a woman becomes pregnant, people somehow think they have a say over what she does or does not do with her body (ie what she eats/drinks, what activities she engages in, how she dresses, etc.). It's her body and her child and as long as she is well-informed on the issues, then let her be!

Then you become a parent and have to make all kinds of decisions for your child and you're just doing what your moral compass says is best based on the information you have.

It's hard enough just being a woman in this world - then throw pregnancy and parenting on top of it - yikes!

HeyStVincent · June 2014

Even the CDC isn't entirely sure on the issue of circumcision: https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/prevention/research/malecircumcision/recommendations.html

Although the WHO states it should be done to help prevent HIV infection:

https://www.who.int/hiv/topics/malecircumcision/en/

Lots of unknowns...even among the experts!

Edit: pasted the same link twice. Ooops.

tlc4mama · June 2014

Did you notice how many mamas commented that they didn't realize this is an issue? That they just assumed it was the norm? That's why people share info. To show that there is another way that actually is the norm all around the world. We are the only industrialized country that routinely circumcises newborns. An intact penis is the norm worldwide and the percentages of intact boys in the US is on the rise. Does no one wonder why Medicaid and most private insurances do not cover the procedure?

Again, I'd like to point out that there is no judgment in this post. Just sharing info.

bigtuna486 · June 2014

tlc4mama said:

Girls get teased and feel self conscious for having small breasts. Should we give them breast implants to keep this from happening? Or should we explain to our sons what circumcision actually is and allow them to see the procedure so that they may be thankful that it wasn't done?

Meh not really the same thing. Small breasts don't give you infections. I am sure some uncircumcised men can go their whole life without an infection but there are many who do get them. Badly. My ex ended up having to get circumcised anyways in his 20's, which is much more complicated and riskier. Just a chance I am not really willing to take but that is just me and how I feel. Neither way is wrong it just comes down to personal experience and preference.

tlc4mama · June 2014

Many women get breast cancer. Should we remove all breast tissue from newborn baby girls to protect them from the chance that it may happen to them?

JessicaxLynn87 · June 2014

All I have to say is ... Wow. :-S

Ducktale · June 2014

@tlc4mama‌ Your posts are littered with judgmental undertone. You're posts do not convey "I realize there are two valid sides to this argument, this is what we chose and why, but I realize this is not the right choice for every family."

I have the feeling this isn't the only topic you're on your high horse over.

mahalo3 · June 2014

tlc4mama said:
Many women get breast cancer. Should we remove all breast tissue from newborn baby girls to protect them from the chance that it may happen to them?

Actually, breast cancer runs in my family, and after I am done having kids and breastfeeding feeding, I plan on doing this. I don't agree with your logic on new borns, as breasts serve a purpose in adulthood. But the procedure is a preventative measure I would like to take. This is a whole different subject though.

On topic, I see Feb15 is officially a board now! This discussion could go on until the end of time, and when people are set in their ideals, there is no changing their minds. Let's agree to disagree and provide actual research material so that other moms to be can make an informed decision either way.

HeyStVincent · June 2014

mahalo3 said:

Many women get breast cancer. Should we remove all breast tissue from newborn baby girls to protect them from the chance that it may happen to them?
Actually, breast cancer runs in my family, and after I am done having kids and breastfeeding feeding, I plan on doing this. I don't agree with your logic on new borns, as breasts serve a purpose in adulthood. But the procedure is a preventative measure I would like to take. This is a whole different subject though. On topic, I see Feb15 is officially a board now! This discussion could go on until the end of time, and when people are set in their ideals, there is no changing their minds. Let's agree to disagree and provide actual research material so that other moms to be can make an informed decision either way.

YES to this!! A good place to start with any questions are the CDC, the NIH (National Institutes of Health) and the WHO (World Health Organization). They often break topics down so they're easier to understand if you don't have a science/medical background.

A problem with evaluation of scientific research is that not all studies are the same - they vary in their quality and credibility. As an easy to explain example, a small population size (say, 40 participants) is much more likely to give either a false correlation/false non-correlation than a study that uses 1,000 participants. Additionally, systematic reviews which review the findings of many, many studies on a topic are another good source to use when making a decision. Anecdotes, while they have their place and can be useful, are not always the most reliable source of info.

Jay_Cee · June 2014

There is nothing worse than a judgmental undertone when arguing your point. It will never bring people over to your side.

Also, we all know what circumcision is. I don't think posting a video of it helps.

HeyStVincent · June 2014

Also, speaking of things that people like to get into really hot-topic discussions on...THIS had me cracking up the other day. It's from The Onion (thus is clearly meant to be a joke).

PROS: Can lord it over Karen

)

https://www.theonion.com/articles/the-pros-and-cons-of-natural-childbirth,36366/

tlc4mama · June 2014

I don't mean to sound judgmental. I admit that I don't see the other side. But I'm not bashing those that make the choice. Texting lacks tone. People tend to apply their own tone to it. I shared the video so that people can see the reality of it. It can be a very abstract idea until you witness it and hear the screams. Video makes it real. As far as my bringing up the mastectomy comparison, I only did to show how ludicrous it sounds to amputate a healthy part of a healthy newborn's body on the chance that it might cause a problem later. Do we really think that men all over the world are suffering daily with UTIs?

Again, I'm sorry if any of this comes off as judgmental.

XSweetieO0O · June 2014

Wow. Just read up on these messages and am really disturbed by how this debate has been discussed. To pass judgment on others is not the purpose of this board. And to post videos like this that no one requested is inappropriate in my opinion. The beautiful thing about parenthood is we can all do what we think is best for out children. There's no need to try to shove your ideals and notions at other moms.

tlc4mama · June 2014

How is sharing a video of a doctor explaining the procedure to the mother, running through the list of risks associated, and then explaining his way through the procedure shoving my ideals at others? This was obviously put out by a pro-circ doc. Everyone wants facts. I don't know what's more factual than actually seeing it for yourself.

tlc4mama · June 2014

And not once did I accuse anyone of doing the wrong thing. I've simply made comparisons to the issues that were mentioned.

XSweetieO0O · June 2014

Nobody asked for this. It's graphic and I find it to be inappropriate. Do you have to agree with me? Clearly not, but to even act like you find this to be appropriate content to share is baffling.

tlc4mama · June 2014

It is graphic. The procedure is graphic.

XSweetieO0O · June 2014

To call it genital mutilation definitely implies something that you disagree with is wrong. And to share something graphic like this is inappropriate and should require a level of discretion.

tlc4mama · June 2014

Did I refer to it as mutilation? I believe that was someone else.

tlc4mama · June 2014

Why is it that we can't watch something that we want our babies to experience firsthand?

XSweetieO0O · June 2014

If I mixed you up with someone else then I apologize for that. I don't want to place words in anyone's mouth. I still find the video post offensive, however.

tlc4mama · June 2014

And I'm really trying to understand why.

HeyStVincent · June 2014

@tlc4mama - I think the problem people are having is that it's not the best to post a video like that in a public forum without a disclaimer ahead of it. Some people are very sensitive to graphic content - sometimes just because they have a hard time with graphic things in general and other times because of previous trauma in their life. It's important to be sensitive to that.

I'm guessing you wouldn't walk up to a stranger on the street and thrust this video in their face (especially with the graphic cover picture) without their permission to do so because it's a little insensitive. I think the same kind of thinking applies here. Maybe just a link without the graphic would have been a better way to approach it so someone could choose to click on the link knowing there would be graphic content encountered in doing so. Get what I'm saying?

tlc4mama · June 2014

I did share the link. I didn't mean for it to show the graphic. Can I fix that?

tlc4mama · June 2014

Thank you so much!!!!

bigtuna486 · June 2014

tlc4mama said:

I don't mean to sound judgmental. I admit that I don't see the other side. But I'm not bashing those that make the choice. Texting lacks tone. People tend to apply their own tone to it. I shared the video so that people can see the reality of it. It can be a very abstract idea until you witness it and hear the screams. Video makes it real. As far as my bringing up the mastectomy comparison, I only did to show how ludicrous it sounds to amputate a healthy part of a healthy newborn's body on the chance that it might cause a problem later. Do we really think that men all over the world are suffering daily with UTIs? Again, I'm sorry if any of this comes off as judgmental.

You say you don't mean to sound judgmental? Really? Because you are saying it is ludicrous of me to want to "amputate" my son for future risks. Anyhow I can see that discussing this further with you would be like talking to a brick. Good luck getting along with the women on this board if you are going to continue to be so judgmental and rude.

tlc4mama · June 2014

For future reference, what needs to be done to keep it just a link?

tlc4mama · June 2014

If not amputation, what should it be called?

Want a personalized experience?

Thoughts on circumcision?

Re: Thoughts on circumcision?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards