Thoughts on circumcision?

ccgee

So, I obviously don't know my baby's gender yet, but have a feeling it's a boy, baby daddy has 2 girls from previous relationship.

He's Jewish/doctor and said medically and hygienicaly it's safer to be circumcised, and even though he doesn't practice Jewish religion, he's from Israel and wants this.

I just watched "what to expect when you're expecting" and the couple with Jewish dad had the same problem, I thought my bf wouldn't push for it, but we completely disagreed on the matter, I absolutely don't want it and he's putting his foot down and 100% says it's happening if it's a boy.

What are your thoughts? Would you have your kid circumcised if a boy?

ccgee

Yes, because kids who aren't circumcised he said "get urinary infections and things like that more often" he works in ER and gets little boys with such problems who aren't circumcised about 1 a week and almost never with boys circumcised with problems along those lines

In long run said it's more hygienic

SaraJtwo

I plan on it (if we have a boy), I feel there are benefits to doing it than not, but that's just my opinion

ems0523

Yes for me. Both my sons have been, my DH is as well. To each their own.

ccgee

I think that a lot of kids don't have any problems with that sort of thing, which is why I say no need to snip anything down there, but also makes that area less sensitive when circumcised (can't say I know that for fact, just heard that).

It's just more likely if something were to happen to happen to a uncircumcised kid as he put it, but again most boys don't have any problems.

bclove87

My DH isn't but wants any future sons to be. He had a friend have an issue in his late 20's and had to be circumcised... I think it scarred my DH for life

starrynight1658

I ultimately let my DH decide, and we opted to do it. Our OB weighed the pros and cons with us so we felt very informed, along with having done our own research. It was quick, (DS didn't even cry) and healed quickly too with no issues. 

You'll find people feel very passionately about little boys' penis skin, so you ultimately have to make the decision with your husband about what's best for you and your child. If you'd like information about the risks and benefits, I'm sure your OB would be happy to discuss it with you. 

Beth.1212

I have a son (STM here) and we did not have him circumcised. He's never had any problems whatsoever. (FWIW, my FIL is a doctor and never advocated circumcision.)

It's possible that your DH is seeing kids who are uncircumcised but have had their foreskins forcibly retracted, which can lead to all kinds of problems, including infection. See here for more info. If you have a boy and don't circumcise him, make sure that no one pulls the foreskin back. 

If my DH told me that anything was "100% happening" without consulting me, there would be big problems in my household. This child is yours just as much as his, and he has no right to make unilateral decisions. 

There are plenty of arguments against circumcision, including the fact that it is painful for the baby, complications can and do occur such as infection and urinary problems, and to my knowledge there are no rigorous studies indicating that routine circumcision has medical benefits. No professional medical association in the United States or the rest of the world recommends routine neonatal circumcision. The American Medical Association calls it "non-therapeutic," and the American Academy of Pediatrics has never recommended infant circumcision.

HerHighness

Wow i thought we'd be 1/2way thru 2nd tri before this debate would pop up

I have no idea. I havent researched it because i have a girl. I guess id ask hubs what he thought.

thegoodpotato

I am not overly passionate on the subject, but DH is, and he prefers that if we have a boy, that he would be, too.

one2andnow3

My DH is and we had DS basically because DH wanted him to be like him. I did a lot of research. There are pros and cons to both. I believe males were made that way for a reason. I think if we have another boy we will not. No evidence strong enough to hurt a baby that way.

boxerrrmama85

This is coming from a purely vanity and non-medical standpoint.... Aesthetically a circumcised penis is much better looking than an uncircumcised penis-- and that is saying a great deal, because let's be honest-- genitalia is just funny looking (vags included).

jaztastic

I've heard good and bad from men uncircumcised and women who date them. So I don't feel strongly one way or the other. Maybe it's just me but...1) it's too soon to discuss. I'm not going to do mindless research right now on pros and cons of circumcising a hypothetical baby boy 2) I honestly don't care one way or another if other moms are going to snip baby wiener. 3) did I mention it's too soon? Lol

thegoodpotato

boxerrrmama85 said:

This is coming from a purely vanity and non-medical standpoint.... Aesthetically a circumcised penis is much better looking than an uncircumcised penis-- and that is saying a great deal, because let's be honest-- genitalia is just funny looking (vags included).

Yes. I think penises are gross. I love men, but damn that thing is disgusting.

junebugjam

Let me preface this by saying I've done no research on this since we were having a girl last time. But, on my last BMB this discussion came up and there were several women who worked in nursing homes or with elderly people who had experience with older men needing circumcision at a late age because of infection, not cleaning properly, etc as they got older. I'm not advocating it for that reason, but it was something I'd never thought of.

If we have a boy this time, I'll probably leave that decision up to my husband. I know that's not the most popular solution either.

mands1125

Yes, we are Jewish so if we have a boy, it will be done.

biaher16

My bf has two sons from a previous relationship and while he thinks if we have a boy he should look like his brothers I did not agree and will refrain from it because I feel my baby came with it so he should stay with it . From what iknow my family does not practice circumcision on their sons so I don't see why mine will have a problem with it not cut.

lilrubberduckie

Dh has alway been strongly opposed to it. That was one of his deal breakers in a marriage. I have done hours of research to decide my stance and I too am strongly opposed. None of our children will undergo genital mutilation. Please do your own research. Dont listen to your ob as they get paid a good amount when they sell the foreskin. Also antibiotics are given to baby girls for uti (not female circumcision). Highest rate of hiv is usa and africa both with the highest rate of circumcision. Pretty much every argument for is a myth. When do boys ever compare penis' with their fathers thats weird. You wouldnt remove your kids hand to look like their father. And babies dont get pain med or numbing an adult undergoes general anesthesia. The list goes on. Many documentries do your own research and decide for yourself. "The elephant in the hospital" " why are you circumcised" by college humor (spoiler alert: dr.kellog thought it would stop males from masterbating. As well he recommended pouring acid on the clitoris) "circumcision the whole story". I wish you all the best with your research. in the end. His body His choice.

ForeverAmberNicole

With ds my thought was dh is male and decide. Dh decided yes, which I have no idea why. He remembers it because he didn't have it done till he moved to America when he was a little boy. years later when I looked into what it really involves I was so heartbroken that I let that happen to my son. It is the biggest regret of my life. all future sons, if we are so blessed, will not be cut.

Mommy2CB

We circumcised both of our DS's. DH is also circumcised. We looked into it beforehand, talked to our pediatrician etc and yeah decided to have it done. With DS2 he had an issue with extra skin at the end and really HAD to have it done, so there was no question there.

WaMaitu

Not at birth. 

Around 13-15 yrs of age, there's a whole traditional ceremony where boys of the same age group go into seclusion for the "cut" for about 2 weeks and come back as MEN... and they can't hug their mothers or sit and just chat with her and other such feminine things that they could do two weeks ago.

Now, if there was to be a discussion of male chauvinism (particularly what a man can and cannot do) - the African male has the entire world beat!! 

Errm - lemme me stop now because I'm going way off track

munchkin8590

My son and husband are both circumsized and I'm glad they are. Its so much cleaner and its not like they remember how it felt since they both had it done at birth. And like someone said earlier in this post, it just looks nicer....

I think its a little cruel to wait until they are older. Have any if you watched the episode of Nip/Tuck where the son tried to circumsize himself in his teens? He had surgery after and had a looooong recovery. (Yes I know its only a tv show, but still)...

cinnamonsugar

sugahcookie01 said:

I have no strong feelings about it. I told DH I'd do what he felt was right since he has more understanding of the implications. He said yes to circumcision, so we would.

This is our approach as well.

aggiebug

We will circumcise our son if we have one. DH is and feels strongly about it. And having seen a nasty infection there I have no problem with it.

I understand both sides quite well and that is our choice.

And to whomever called it genital mutilation. You need to look up and understand true genital mutilation. Circumcision is not comparable.

Jay_Cee

We were Team Green the first time, so we discussed this in length. Should we have a son this time, he will be uncut.

wintersong139

sugahcookie01 said:

I have no strong feelings about it. I told DH I'd do what he felt was right since he has more understanding of the implications. He said yes to circumcision, so we would.

Exactly. I told my husband that I don't have a penis, therefore it is his decision.

tlc4mama

Here's what I did with my circumcised husband. We went to YouTube and looked up circumcision. I told him that he had to sit through the entire video and not have a reaction to it if he wanted his baby to go through it. Also, if he made it through the video then I'd expect him to be in the room with the baby while he's having it done.

We now have four UNCIRCUMCISED little boys. None have ever had an issue. We teach hygeine.

dreemkin84

lilrubberduckie said:

Dh has alway been strongly opposed to it. That was one of his deal breakers in a marriage.

I find this a little strange. If you dissagreed before marriage about this, he wouldn't have married you? What if you couldn't have kids? What if you never had boys?

dreemkin84

Personally I don't get why this is a heated debate. People like to make big deals out of everything these days. Do what you want.

lilrubberduckie

dreemkin84 said:

lilrubberduckie said:

Dh has alway been strongly opposed to it. That was one of his deal breakers in a marriage.

I find this a little strange. If you dissagreed before marriage about this, he wouldn't have married you? What if you couldn't have kids? What if you never had boys?

We never disagreed. I never thought about it before meeting him. He would never marry someone that would circumsize their child (aka. his child too). So I did research 4years ago to decide my stance. I found I was strong opposed to circ aswell.

PeaceofKia

I plan to, my 75 year old grandfather was not and suffered frequent, painful infections that he couldn't take care of in addition to his cancers so he had a circumcision last year and hasn't had infection since. I'd hate for my son to grow up with issues from it and then have to handle it then, I'd rather get it out of the way early.

Eta: I'm still hoping for a girl though.

Nvywife

DS is, and if this next one is a boy I will have it done again. When I was 18 I was babysitting a 6 year old and he wasn't. It got so infected he had to be rushed to the hospital. He was big enough no one was checking on it anymore and he wasn't cleaning it properly. After seeing that it's a must for me.

tlc4mama

So we have admittedly graduated to performing cosmetic surgery on our newborns?  

jaytee16

I cannot believe anyone seriously listed as a reason that it looks nicer. Are you joking?? You would cut your newborn son's penis because you want it to look prettier? Of all the reasons people have FOR doing it, that one seems ridiculous to me.

We haven't fully discussed it, took us long enough to get here, but I'm on the side of it being unnecessary at this point. I will do more research if we find out we're having one, or two, boys, but I am pretty confident we will not.

Mego04

jessicamathew said:

Let me preface this by saying I've done no research on this since we were having a girl last time. But, on my last BMB this discussion came up and there were several women who worked in nursing homes or with elderly people who had experience with older men needing circumcision at a late age because of infection, not cleaning properly, etc as they got older. I'm not advocating it for that reason, but it was something I'd never thought of.

If we have a boy this time, I'll probably leave that decision up to my husband. I know that's not the most popular solution either.

Yes I work at a hospital and see lots of older men on the surgery schedule for circumcisions and it takes about 6 weeks to heal. We will get it done.

Mego04

lilrubberduckie said:

Dh has alway been strongly opposed to it. That was one of his deal breakers in a marriage. I have done hours of research to decide my stance and I too am strongly opposed. None of our children will undergo genital mutilation. Please do your own research. Dont listen to your ob as they get paid a good amount when they sell the foreskin. Also antibiotics are given to baby girls for uti (not female circumcision). Highest rate of hiv is usa and africa both with the highest rate of circumcision. Pretty much every argument for is a myth. When do boys ever compare penis' with their fathers thats weird. You wouldnt remove your kids hand to look like their father. And babies dont get pain med or numbing an adult undergoes general anesthesia. The list goes on. Many documentries do your own research and decide for yourself. "The elephant in the hospital" " why are you circumcised" by college humor (spoiler alert: dr.kellog thought it would stop males from masterbating. As well he recommended pouring acid on the clitoris) "circumcision the whole story". I wish you all the best with your research. in the end. His body His choice.

Babies at the hospital I work at most definitely do get pain meds... lidocaine, tylenol, and a sucrose pacifier (that goes for most hospitals) And the foreskin goes in the trash. I dont care whether or not people get it but just wanted to clarify that.

starrynight1658

FFS, I hate this discussion. Like very other parenting decision, you do what's best for you and your family. There's no need to judge, shame, or mock others over what they decide to do with their son's penis skin. The AAP says that the health benefits outweigh the risks but it's a decision best left up to parents. Throwing around genital mutilation and anecdotes isn't productive or informative. If you're undecided, talk with a medical professional or two, and make a decision based on that.

Ducktale

Some of these comments are why productive conversations about these topics rarely are had. Because people have to come in on their high horse with comments about how other people are basically abusing their children for their choice. Give factual, evidence based reasons for your decision and cite your (credible) sources so others can do the research. Not just passive aggressive comments. 

 FTR we have not looked into this yet, so if we end up having a boy we will do our research. If people have evidence based opinions on one side or the other I would love to hear both sides of this debate.

lmhamze

So starts the mommy judging! I don't understand why women have to be so judgmental and criticize the parenting choices of others. Do your research and make your choice. I feel like there are a lot of negative comments towards those who chose to circumcise, which we decided for DS. Just because it isn't the choice that you made/would make doesn't mean it's wrong or that we didn't do research as well. To each their own!

tlc4mama

"To each, their own" is exactly my point. My son's penis is not mine. It's not my decision to make.

LilTiger15

Yes , we would circ. My dh is circed and we circed my first born. My brother wasn't and when he hit puperty, his foreskin didn't stretch with the penis and had to get circed then. He was in pain for months. That scared me...don't want that for my child.