Who in your delivery room?

silverwings72 · May 2014

I really like the idea of people coming to visit but then kicking them out when it comes time to push. Thanks ladies, you guys rock!!

MrsAdventure · May 2014

While I'm waiting for the real fun to begin, it'll be DH, my mom, BFF and probably BFF's mom (if she is in town). Us women are super close, and they will keep me sane so DH can relax a bit (plus, they help keep DH sane as well). When I'm ready to deliver, it will be DH and possibly my mom.

A strange side note: For some disturbing reason, my FIL thinks he's going to be allowed in for the delivery, like when I'm in full on, 'there's the head' labor. I doubt I'll even allow him in the room when I'm just waiting for things to really get moving. Even though I really, really don't like him, that's not the main reason I don't want him there. We are just not that close and very opposite personalities, and when I'm uncomfortable and tired, I want people I am close to, and who are supportive in there. Not people who stress me out. As a FTM, I figure I'll be stressed enough, I don't need him helping me along with that.

Allyvaughan86 · May 2014

Just my husband. I have no idea how to break this to my MIL and SIL because they assume they will be there even though I've told them No on several occasions... We have our elective ultrasound in 3 weeks to determine baby's sex that I invited my parents and in laws to, so at least they feel somewhat involved...

CPM13 · May 2014

Just DH. Last time we didn't even tell anyone we were in labor or at the hospital. This time I would love to do the same but obviously someone will have to be watching DD so SOMEONE will know. We also said no visitors for 4 hours after birth. I was exhausted and starving and we wanted a little time to bond with our new little family.

TC0514 · May 2014

Planning on just my husband in the delivery room. I also plan to have DH bring our 9yr old son in to meet the baby before anyone else. If timing allows and he's at the hospital waiting..I'm sure my mom and mother in law will be in the room while I'm laboring but when it comes time to push I'd prefer just DH in the room.

ccam · May 2014

Just DH. I'm a RCS this time but even with DS, it was just DH.

missnacholover · May 2014

Other than the medical folks, just DH.

I don't even want anyone at the hospital in the waiting room. Nope. We will call our parents when we are ready for visitors. I want time alone with me, DH, and our new baby before being overwhelmed by over anxious grandparents.

Dimples0101 · May 2014

This is up for debate still. With my first baby my sister and mom were in the room for the entire labor, but left when I started pushing. This time I want them to be in the room for pushing (my sister is a photographer, so I'd like her to capture the birth from a G rated perspective), but DH wants it to just be us again. I'm torn between wanting to respect his wishes, but also doing what I want to do. Hopefully we can come to an agreement.

simplysins · May 2014

With DS I had my mom, DH, and my brother stopped by to visit, while I was labouring. He happened to be there all of 10mins, and it was time for me to push. Never saw someone leave a room so fast. My mom and DH were there for delivery. I was grateful because once DS was born, DH went with him and my mom stayed with me while I had to get my stitches. Later on in the evening my dad MIL and SIL came by to visit.

lybyana@hotmail.com · May 2014

the way i see it. if you have not seen me naked (in my adult life) then you will not be attending the birth of my child. My husband will be there to take care of his baby while my mom will be there to take care of hers. i guess the only other person i would let is my esthetician. LOL.

joke aside. my mom and my husband only

RedBirdFly · May 2014

With DS, I had my mom and my doula and my stupid prat of an ex who slept through pretty much the entire thing.

I'm having a homebirth this time and I am pretty much going to have whoever wants to be there be around. Except DS and whoever I shove him off on, that is.

JamieK1882 · May 2014

DH only here. I wanted a birth photographer but they're too pricey, so we're saving the money for newborn photos.

Nfranco973 · May 2014

My DH & my sis. It will be a csection so when that time comes him and my sister have agreed he will step out for a bit. DH stomach is very sensitive and will prob faint. No kidding.

runningmama14 · May 2014

Nfranco973 said:
My DH & my sis. It will be a csection so when that time comes him and my sister have agreed he will step out for a bit. DH stomach is very sensitive and will prob faint. No kidding.

I was my sister's coach for that same reason. My bil is so queasy. When my sis started pushing, I had to physically walk him across the room to stand at the head of the bed and hold her hand. He stood staring at the wall behind her the whole time, not saying a word. I found out later he was having a panic attack and thought it was a heart attack. Poor schmuck thought he was dying on his daughter's birth day.

KTgator · May 2014

Didn't have time to read all the responses, but with my daughter we knew I was having a csec, so I only wanted hubby there bc I wanted to focus on recovery and bfing the first few hrs after birth. My parents came a few hrs after csec on their lunch breaks, and in laws came later that afternoon.

This time I am *hopefully* planning for a home birth. I will have hubby, doula, midwife team, and possibly 1 friend there. My in laws live across the street, so they will be over as soon as everyone is settled

KTgator · May 2014

I love my mom and mil (seriously I am super lucky and they are both amazing people), but they are too much of the nervous type and I don't want it to "throw my game off." Mil and mom will probably be praying the rosary together across the street

krgriffin26 · May 2014

DH and I decided that when it came time to push it would just be him and my mother. I know his mom wants to be in there too but I just can't. It sucks for her sometimes that she didn't have any girls but I want to limit the people who see all that to the one who helped make the baby and the one who pushed me out.

CPM13 · May 2014

@missnacholover I'm so glad I am not the only one who feels this way!

mrsransom · May 2014

My hospital only allows 2 or 3. I can't remember which. I was planning on having my Mom & DH, but I ended up with a c-section, where they only allow the baby's father to be present. My Mom was totally crushed! I am having a repeat c-section this time, so it will just be DH again per the rules.

jf198400 · May 2014

Our hospital policy is 2 people are allowed. First pregnancy I had DH and my mom. Second time was just DH. It was nice having my mom there b/c that way if DH needs to take a break to go to the bathroom or get something to eat, you're not alone. She also took a bunch of pictures for us when dd was born. But it was also fine with just my DH. The nurses took pics for us.
Personally I don't get the desire to have multiple people there. It's a special moment for me and DH. Everyone else can wait awhile to meet our baby.
If you do have other people there, I would probably ask them to leave when it's time to push.

missnacholover · May 2014

CPM13 said:

@missnacholover I'm so glad I am not the only one who feels this way!

Luckily I haven't gotten any grief about it. DH is 100% in agreement so he'll be my backup! =D

jaminjeff · May 2014

My whole family was in the room while I labored all day, but they would have been told to leave when it came time to push, that moment was for me and DH. But since I had an emergency c/s after laboring all day, I didn't need to kick them out, I left.

cindyNmark2010 · May 2014

It's just going to be DH for me......mom may have brought me into this world but my lady bits are off limits!! I don't want a crowd, and she was there for my neice's birth so she's had the experience. As for MIL... N to the O......we don't get along.

runningmama14 · May 2014

missnacholover said:

CPM13 said:

@missnacholover I'm so glad I am not the only one who feels this way!

Luckily I haven't gotten any grief about it. DH is 100% in agreement so he'll be my backup! =D

I'm the same way! I don't think DH really had a picture in his head off how it should go, since he's never been at a birth before. When I told him I didn't want anyone at the hospital, he initially thought I meant at all. Once I clarified that I was fine with visitors once we had a chance to bond and I was cleaned up and felt somewhat presentable, he seemed ok. I know when the day comes, someone in his family will want to come and he won't have the balls to say no, but too bad. My vag, my say.

I think since we will have to move out of an l&d room and into a recovery room, I might make a big deal during the hospital tour about visitors coming after we move and settle in, so he really gets the point.

Momma&babies · May 2014

With my daughter it was just my husband and mom this time around it will be the same. My hospital only allows two people in the room with you during delivery. While I was in labor I allowed my brother and dad to be in there as well. Ask your hospital how many they allow in the room during labor and or delivery. When it comes down to it it's your call who you allow in.

brooklyngirl18 · May 2014

runningmama14 said:

The more is certainly not the merrier in this case! Probably just my DH.
@runningmama14 The idea of a birth photographer intrigues me. I've never seen professionally done pictures from a birth. Does your friend have a website?

@crystaldh
My friend's website https://www.sarahmaxeyphoto.com She's in Kansas City. Honestly, until she started doing it a few years ago, I never thought it would be my thing either. She just captures everything so well. I was my sister's coach for both of her births and it amazes me how much it blurs and I wasn't even the one doing all the work! As pp said, some hospitals have a policy against shooting photos during the actual birth. I've heard that as long as your person is staying out of the way and not making their presence known, no one will say anything to them. Probably depends on the hospital though.

ETA: here's a good resource to find a birth photographer in any area - https://birthphotographers.com/find-a-birth-photographer/

i just looked at your friend's website out of curiousity and omg...didn't expect to cry today at work.

hjenni · May 2014

Just DH and my mom. If people want to come visit before things get ugly, that's fine, but those two are the only ones I'm comfortable with after that.

runningmama14 · May 2014

I do see the point of having someone in addition to SO/DH, so there is a relief or back up.

My cousin had her son a few months ago. It was just her and her husband and things seemed to be going along nicely. They realized they forgot a bag at home and delivery didn't seem imminent, so her dh ran home to get it. While he was gone, she progressed very quickly and prolapsed the cord. She was rushed in for an emergency csection under general before her husband could get back. Baby was born with one parent MIA and the other still in surgery. In the end, she is of course thrilled to have a healthy boy, but I can't imagine how scary that was for her, all by herself!

mussalynn · May 2014

I don't get it when people want to have tons of people in the room. I just can't imagine trying to focus and power through a contraction while family members are standing there watching, let alone pushing the baby out! I would have just DH with me but last time he completely forgot all the pain relief techniques we learned in prenatal class so we'll have our doula there this time as well.

Our hospital only allows 2 people in the room with you, and you can't swap them out for other people, it has to be those same 2 people.

Also, for visiting afterwards our hospital only allows the baby's grandparents or siblings to visit. We will likely wait until we're home for visitors as we will be allowed to go home within hours of the birth if all goes well.

runningmama14 · May 2014

brooklyngirl18 said:

runningmama14 said:

The more is certainly not the merrier in this case! Probably just my DH.
@runningmama14 The idea of a birth photographer intrigues me. I've never seen professionally done pictures from a birth. Does your friend have a website?

@crystaldh
My friend's website https://www.sarahmaxeyphoto.com She's in Kansas City. Honestly, until she started doing it a few years ago, I never thought it would be my thing either. She just captures everything so well. I was my sister's coach for both of her births and it amazes me how much it blurs and I wasn't even the one doing all the work! As pp said, some hospitals have a policy against shooting photos during the actual birth. I've heard that as long as your person is staying out of the way and not making their presence known, no one will say anything to them. Probably depends on the hospital though.

ETA: here's a good resource to find a birth photographer in any area - https://birthphotographers.com/find-a-birth-photographer/

i just looked at your friend's website out of curiousity and omg...didn't expect to cry today at work.

@brooklyngirl18‌ - omg, I know! I've already watched all of those slideshows before, but never while pregnant. I watched a few last night and cried again! The one where the dad is deployed just about killed me last night. I know she had other people there, but she just looked so alone. I'm about to tear up just typing about it

highbornhunter · May 2014

DH is being very supportive of me having whoever I want or don't want in the room. I think it will likely be just my mom and him. If the hospital lets other people visit during labor but not be there at the end, I'd be good with my MIL coming in for a little bit to offer some support. She's one of the most down to earth, calm people I know and I think her presence would be a comfort. My own Mom may end up getting kicked out by the end, we'll see. My mom also lives 4 hours away, so it's hard to say if she'll be able to be here, or when she could get to the hospital (As I type this, I laugh - No power in the 'verse is going to stop my mom from seeing her first grandchild and being there for me if I want her to be! - She'll sprout wings and fly if she has to!)

missnacholover · May 2014

runningmama14 said:

I do see the point of having someone in addition to SO/DH, so there is a relief or back up. My cousin had her son a few months ago. It was just her and her husband and things seemed to be going along nicely. They realized they forgot a bag at home and delivery didn't seem imminent, so her dh ran home to get it. While he was gone, she progressed very quickly and prolapsed the cord. She was rushed in for an emergency csection under general before her husband could get back. Baby was born with one parent MIA and the other still in surgery. In the end, she is of course thrilled to have a healthy boy, but I can't imagine how scary that was for her, all by herself!

Scary! That's a good point though. I'll have to make sure I give my sister, MissQuesadillaLover a set of keys to our house in case we need someone to go there for any reason.

runningmama14 · May 2014

missnacholover said:

runningmama14 said:

I do see the point of having someone in addition to SO/DH, so there is a relief or back up.

My cousin had her son a few months ago. It was just her and her husband and things seemed to be going along nicely. They realized they forgot a bag at home and delivery didn't seem imminent, so her dh ran home to get it. While he was gone, she progressed very quickly and prolapsed the cord. She was rushed in for an emergency csection under general before her husband could get back. Baby was born with one parent MIA and the other still in surgery. In the end, she is of course thrilled to have a healthy boy, but I can't imagine how scary that was for her, all by herself!

----------

Scary! That's a good point though. I'll have to make sure I give my sister, MissQuesadillaLover a set of keys to our house in case we need someone to go there for any reason.

Bwahahahaha!

Of course, in hindsight, the bag wasn't that important :-)

Eta mobile quotes

missymaye · May 2014

turtles7 said:
Dh and my mom. Everyone else will be kicked out when it's time. Dh will not be able comfort me like my mom when I'm in pain or will get tired of holding my hand and piss me off. Lol

This lol. I will have my DH and my mom. I want to have a natural birth and I know that DH will not be able to help me stay calm like my mom would.

nicnac817 · May 2014

Just me, my husband and our doula. I learned the first time around that a room full of people doesn't work for me.

runningmama14 · May 2014

excitedpreggo12 said:
I don't know who I want in there. I guess whoever really wants to be there. Maybe you can get a curtain pulled and everyone (minus DH) on one side while you push, then once they hear the cry they come over? Idk, I just saw that on A Baby Story once. I think the OB makes everyone back up out of the way anyways so they won't be all in your "who-ha" area anyway lol... now if you're going to be all naked, I don't know what to tell you!

The hospital my sister delivered her first at had her pretty covered up. I leaned in to watch my niece come out, but otherwise didn't see a whole lot. The hospital she had her second at did not, and even though she had the gown on top, she was in no way decent. I saw more standing by her head the second time than I did watching the baby crown the first time.

Allisonville · May 2014

Just my husband. And the doctor and like 3 nurses that seem to show up at the very end. Honestly, even people coming to hang out while I'm laboring is odd to me. Whoever wants to come to the hospital after the kid is out is welcome to, but I don't want anyone there before.

sparklingwhit · May 2014

It will just be me and DH. My mom stresses me out when she's worked up and I don't have any siblings I would want there. ILs are out of the question because they are BSC and I really don't need that in my life while I'm pushing :P

DoubleUp8 · May 2014

As of the current plan, it will just be DH with me in L&D and the hospital staff.

momtojad · May 2014

My rule was that if you had given birth before you werent' allowed in my room unless you were midwife/nurse. I didn't want people's opinions and I didn't' want anyone looking at my vagina. This time it will be my hubs and our son and that is it.

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