Has anybody else tried flipping them on their belly and patting their backs until they fall asleep? This has been like the new miracle in my house this past week.
When we sleep trained DD1 at 6m, she was already crawling and pulling to stand. When she would sleep, she'd always put herself FDBU (face down butt up). And when she sleeps on her crib, DD2 always flips to her belly. I don't fight it.
I'm glad it's a miracle for you. But for many, it's not just a simple fix.
I know you are super anti any CIO. All I can say is I hope you never get to the point where you feel like it's your only option. I don't wish what I went through with DD1 on anyone
*stuck in quote box*
I would recommend against getting LO dependent on back patting to go to sleep if there's another option. Just my opinion.
I understand what you're saying, but I have no problem sitting and patting my kid's back for as long as it takes him to fall asleep, now or in the future. Compared to having to rock him for an hour and then pray he wouldn't wake up when I went to lay him in his crib, this is a piece of cake. Plus, I only get about an hour with him after work before bedtime, so I don't mind the extra time I get to stare at him as he falls asleep.
My hesitation would relate more to the fact that he might need back patting to get back to sleep every time he wakes up in the MOTN.
Ah. Well, he's been putting himself back to sleep in the MOTN for a while now. His problem has not been with STTN (knock on wood) but just with putting him down initially. Honestly, tonight I barely patted him and he went from wide awake, looking around and grinning at me to conked out within about 10 minutes. And this is a kid who had to be put down absolutely sound asleep before. I feel like he's making great progress in self-soothing, even though I'm standing right next to him. Tomorrow, I'll try no patting and report back on whether it makes a difference, now that he's not 'fighting' it and crying anymore when I flip him.
@sleepy33 you are more than welcome to post here and say what you like. Just as I am.
It was never the CIO thread though. It originally said sleep training (ST and CIO are not mutually exclusive, ST comes in many methods), but my intention was NOT for it to be just about sleep training but about sleep in general.
And I hear what you're saying about not just jumping to CIO. And I agree to an extent. But that's also why each and every time I've given my personal opinions and advice I mention other options: NCSS, GNST, etc. and I always recommend reading the book and not just winging it.
FTR..there was no snark in my response to you. I was sincere when I said I hope you never have to get to that point. I really do hope you can always find that simple fix. I just know that I was given a lot of "simple fixes" with DD1, and not a single one worked. I read NCSS word for word. It just wasn't realistic for us and our lifestyle. And believe me, I tried it for a few weeks. We tried so many things with DD1. Nothing but Ferber worked for us.
So while you are free to continue to help moms try and find that simple fix (and believe me I hope they do!), I guess I'm just trying to help alleviate any guilt they may feel over sleep training if they do get to the point.
@sleepy33 you are more than welcome to post here and say what you like. Just as I am.
It was never the CIO thread though. It originally said sleep training (ST and CIO are not mutually exclusive, ST comes in many methods), but my intention was NOT for it to be just about sleep training but about sleep in general.
And I hear what you're saying about not just jumping to CIO. And I agree to an extent. But that's also why each and every time I've given my personal opinions and advice I mention other options: NCSS, GNST, etc. and I always recommend reading the book and not just winging it.
FTR..there was no snark in my response to you. I was sincere when I said I hope you never have to get to that point. I really do hope you can always find that simple fix. I just know that I was given a lot of "simple fixes" with DD1, and not a single one worked. I read NCSS word for word. It just wasn't realistic for us and our lifestyle. And believe me, I tried it for a few weeks. We tried so many things with DD1. Nothing but Ferber worked for us.
So while you are free to continue to help moms try and find that simple fix (and believe me I hope they do), I guess I'm just trying to help alleviate any guilt they may feel over sleep training.
Yeah, I already went back and edited my post, I realized I said CIO instead of sleep training. I guess I just don't get your response to me, it seemed very out of left field and didn't really address what I actually said, but rather some perception on your part that I'm trying to wage some kind of anti-CIO campaign. I just wanted to put it out there in the hopes that it might help even one other frustrated and sleep deprived mom.
6 month olds crying it out? That's just way too young imo. I think we started letting DS cio around 10-12 months.
This.
Sleeplessness sucks. It's horrible and we're having a rough time. That said, I'm not sure that it's reasonable to expect my 5.5 month old to skip a feeding in the middle of the nigbt if he's hungry.
I posted a few days ago about needing sleep and thinking about trying CIO.Well I didn't actually read the book but I did a whole days worth of research (I actually could have read the book in the amount of time I spent researching). We started Monday night and she cried for an hour before she fell asleep around 9:40. She then woke up at 12:30 and cried for 45 minutes. At 3:30 she woke up again and against all suggestions I picked her up and put her in my bed and she was fast asleep until 7. I am still feeling guilty that I did this.
Of course yesterday she came down with a pretty bad cold. I still put her down last night and she only cried for 20 minutes. She woke up from 1-1:45 and cried the entire time. She then fell back asleep but woke up at 5. I thought that she was up for good so picked her up and put her in bed with me for some snuggles and she fell back asleep until 6:30.
Her cold is pretty bad - she was running a slight fever (99.5) and her nosy is very runny. I think that she had a hard time breathing through her nose last night and is not able to sleep without the paci most of the time.
@kimbo1216 - I know you said not to stop Ferber once you start but what are your thoughts on this since she is sick. Do I just stop and let her get over her cold or keep on for night 3?
I did not let her cry the entire hour by any means. I did checks on her and gave her the paci when she dopped it. Last night was when the cold started (not the first night when I started). I did checks on her last night and replaced the paci when she dropped it. Again, she fell asleep in 15-20 minutes.
@NRyan55
I know everyone on tb tries to be extra careful about everything, and really, reading the books is probably a good idea, BUT do you think she's the only person in the world who has tried to sleep train without reading a book? What did our grandparents do? I think the reaction was a little too harsh imo.
Honestly most moms I know irl sort of wing most of this baby stuff anyway. Babies have lived for centuries pre- baby training books, they are not the end all and be all.
As long as a mom is doing what she thinks is best for her child, and they are fed, clean, and loved I don't think reading parenting books is something that makes someone a "bad" or "good" mom.
Eta: Oh, and I'm not saying you called her a bad mom at all. I just thought the reaction was a bit harsh.
I can get on board with not reading the book, because I hate to read, and doing research....however, even I know you don't sleep train a sick baby! And I have done NO research on the subject. That's just irresponsible.
Andplusalso, if we are talking about asking previous generations and whatnot, how about asking our further ancestors that most definitely would not have allowed a baby to CIO lest it give away their shelter to a predatory animal.
Andplusalso, if we are talking about asking previous generations and whatnot, how about asking our further ancestors that most definitely would not have allowed a baby to CIO lest it give away their shelter to a predatory animal.
@crarnberg this is why I recommend reading the book. I don't really know what to tell you. I say go with your gut.
We did three days of modified sleep training with DD2. Then she got a bad allergies attack and we let up a bit. Bed time was a breeze after those three days and we were happy with the improvement we saw and didn't push it.
Recently, she started waking up a lot on the way again. So we got stricter in the training 2 nights ago. Bedtime is still a breeze. That never changed. But we go stricter to decrease night wake ups. The first night she woke up twice and I finally got her at 2 and fed her. But I fell asleep, so she spent the rest if the morning in bed with me. Night two she slept to 4. That used to be my "I will feed you time". There were zero tears and she woke at the perfect time. Once again, we bed shared the feat of the morning.
So my advice is to go with your gut. Have DH do checks if possible. If it's just a minor cold and she seems fine for the most part, you might keep going with the training. If she's miserable and running fever, I'd honestly just hold her as much as she needs you to. Get her better, then go back to the training.
I recommend reading some books as well, if it's something you are serious about doing. I read 3 books cover to cover as well as researched blogs/articles. I knew I had to feel confident and ready about what I was doing. You sound tired and frustrated. I was there and I understand. I did online research first and then read the books. Reading books seemed very I appealing bc I was so tired and frustrated, but in the end I feel like it gave me what I needed to actually go for it. Hugs to you, and good luck
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@jgslr I'm not really sure what you want to here. When I was in similar shoes as you, I ultimately did Ferber. There are other methods. Have you tried Good Night, Sleep Tight?
Ultimately you have to make a choice. My opinion on sleep training is that it takes a combination of following your gut and knowing your kid and what you've learned from the experts.
Good luck. I hope you find something that works for you.
I was just venting.
I don't know where I stand right now in regards to sleep training. But I know the few times I let her cry a bit because I'm at the end of my rope my PPA kicks into high gear. I'm praying and trying to figure out what will work for us. I don't want to read 4 or 5 sleep training books. I don't even want to think about it anymore much less read about it.
@ jgslr I am the same way. Which is how I know that CIO is deft not for us. If I do anything, it'd be NCSS.
That said, I am waiting a bit before I decide if I need to pick a method. I'm still not sure that there's anything more complicated going on than "I am hungry. Waaaah"
@ballygirl - just FYI, I think Chapter 8 in the Ferber book is all about Multiples. I just got through chpt.7 and then thought of you
How many MOTN feeds is everyone else doing? Just curious. We're at two, but I'm trying to wean him to one.
At least 2. Sometimes 3. And they are "real" feedings too. By that I mean, he cries, chugs milk like he was starving and then goes right back to sleep.
@ballygirl - just FYI, I think Chapter 8 in the Ferber book is all about Multiples. I just got through chpt.7 and then thought of you
How many MOTN feeds is everyone else doing? Just curious. We're at two, but I'm trying to wean him to one.
Thanks. I just finished chapter 4 and have been looking for more info on twins. My pediatrician had triplets of her own, so I'll be picking her brain next week about this. They have been miraculously sleeping a *little* better the past few days. I guess all I had to do was buy the Ferber book to get them to sleep - hahah
I do 2 MOTN feedings still. DH does like 4 because he still has not learned his lesson about overfeeding babies and doesn't know what else to do with them when they wake up.
With the exception of three nights last week when her sleep got wonky again, we have been down to 1 motn feeding for a few weeks now. But that's at 4am, so it's more like early morning. Lol. But I always fall back asleep so we beds hate the rest of the morning and she eats off and on until I pass her to DH around 6-6:30 (when he gets up) so I can get an extra hour by myself.
When we move her to her crib, it will be when she doesn't need that 4am feeding.
I do 1-2 feedings with him. Typically he eats between 12-1 and then again between 4-5. Sometimes he will just eat once around 2:30 or 3. I have a hard time because sometimes he really eats twice and other times he just sucks a little and goes back to sleep. I am ok with the two times for now though because it's immensely better than the 6-8 times I was getting up with him before we did some sleep training with him.
I can get her to fall asleep on her own after a feeding w her lovey ... My problem is that she wakes up for multiple feedings and just when I think I can pinpoint the times to begin weaning ... She wakes up earlier. I'm not sure how to cut back on the feedings ?
To make matters worse ... This week and next week I will be taking care of my mom ... Which means DD comes along and sleeps at grandmas also ... So sleep training is out the window.
For those that eventually ditched the swaddle of the MMSS, how did you get your LOs to focus on sleeping and not playing/rolling around?
LO is still swaddled, but it is becoming very apparent that we are on borrowed time. She is in a PnP next to our bed. She will sleep from about 9:30-1:00 before she breaks out of the swaddle. Then she will play with the netting/material on the side of the PnP. I don't know how long she would do this, but in the past she's done it for at least 15 minutes before we get up and re-swaddle her. She never cries when she wakes up like this, and sometimes she'll just start babbling. But I know she is tired because she stars rubbing her eyes. We usually re-swaddle because I can't sleep if she's babbling or messing with the PnP.
I think this weekend we are going to take away the swaddle completely and do a sleep sack. I don't think the MMSS will help us at this point and I really want to move her to her own room soon. She falls asleep fairly easily, again with no crying, but that is also because she is swaddled. I'm guessing she is going to roll onto her stomach as soon as we put her down, so I'm not sure how long it will take her to fall asleep.
Anyway, just looking for some tips if anyone has a similar situation.
So I have an update. Taking away the swaddle has been so awesome! We haven't used the sleep sack because it's been so warm here, so she's just in footed pajama. Last night was our second night without it. She has been sleeping great and I think she was waking up so many times before because she wanted to sleep on her stomach and side, which is not possible when swaddled. This kid seriously loves sleeping almost completely face down.
So, to any moms out there that are dreading taking away the swaddle, it may actually be a good thing.
@vargasgurl can you have YH get her when her when she wakes. Maybe she associates you with food so she eats. If he goes on, he might be able to console her without feeding her.
@vargasgurl can you have YH get her when her when she wakes. Maybe she associates you with food so she eats. If he goes on, he might be able to console her without feeding her.
He has gone in and she goes nuts ... he just looks so confused ... He starts talking to her and I have to remind him not to stimulate her more. This usually will annoy him , he probably thinks I'm Talking out of my a** lol ... I think I need to train DH also ... It's worth another try. In his defense I probably shouldn't be standing there when he goes in .. Kind of defeats the purpose. I think I need to trust him and walk away.
So I have been a LONG time lurker- posting here or there, but not as active as I would like. Anyways! I have been following this thread because my DD was having the hardest time with naps and night time sleeping and it was due to the fact that we "bounced" her to sleep using my exercise ball. Sometimes it would take up to an hour to get her officially asleep because every time I would lay her down she would wake up or within 5-10 minutes crying etc. Needless to say I began to dread bedtime and with my son to take care of as well I was stretched thin...
After reading all the reviews and a few books I decided Ferber was the way to go for us. I started it and she has reacted SO well.
FYI I dreaded this because she is my SCREAMER...she cries about everything lol and has since she arrived into the world so, I figured she would just cry for the full time and I would end up pulling her out of the crib, but she only cried for 20 minutes for the first nap and slept 2 hours after!
This is the same baby that typically only would sleep 20-30 minutes per nap and then I put her down for nap# 2 and she went down within 7 minutes and slept for 1 hour and 45 minutes on day #1 and since then she literally falls asleep within minutes.
I had to share this because I know there are others struggling and I was on the fence and now I fully support this.
DS has been running a fever so all of my efforts w/ the NCSS for night time went out the window. He didn't have a fever all day yesterday and didn't have one this morning either. Last night was a rough night b/c DS wanted to be picked up every 30 mins from 1:30am-5:30am, and DH and I decided that we would at least read Ferber's book to see if his plan will work for us. But here's my question: I put DS down in his crib drowsy but awake for naps and 9 times out of 10 he will go right to sleep so he doesn't have a problem putting himself to sleep during the day. Our issue is nighttime. What works during the day does not work at night. Anyone have any insight on this? Why would DS insist of being picked up and put down over and over again at night when we don't have trouble during the day?
DS has been running a fever so all of my efforts w/ the NCSS for night time went out the window. He didn't have a fever all day yesterday and didn't have one this morning either. Last night was a rough night b/c DS wanted to be picked up every 30 mins from 1:30am-5:30am, and DH and I decided that we would at least read Ferber's book to see if his plan will work for us. But here's my question: I put DS down in his crib drowsy but awake for naps and 9 times out of 10 he will go right to sleep so he doesn't have a problem putting himself to sleep during the day. Our issue is nighttime. What works during the day does not work at night. Anyone have any insight on this? Why would DS insist of being picked up and put down over and over again at night when we don't have trouble during the day?
for us, naps and bed time have always been different for whatever reason. in fact, when we sleep train, we work on night first then naps. so if naps are not an issue for you, then night time sleep training may be all you need.
We bed share and haven't attempted any sleep training but this week we've started to introduce a big bottle of BM before bed at 8, and she's eating solids at dinner time. The last few nights she's powered down puréed quinoa and sweet potato. Anyways she usually wakes 3 times to quickly nurse at night BUT after introducing the big bottle at 8 and letting her chow down on solids at dinner she's started sleeping 6 hours straight, nursing once around 2 am then knocking back out until 7. It's been amazing!
I feel like a total FTM moron and this is probably totally obvious to most people but I realized I just don't have a ton of milk in my breasts by night time and it's enough to keep her happy but not for nearly as long as a 5-6 ounce bottle. I just pump each night now after she goes down at 8.
Fingers crossed this trend continues! And thinking this might help someone if they are having similar issues :-)
Aaaaaaaaaack! Wish us luck! DS rolled over in the MMSS during a nap this afternoon so it's got to go. He's already waking every 2 hrs to eat around the clock so please pray we survive the transition.
Re: Sleep Sticky - Post here regarding Anything sleep related!!!
It was never the CIO thread though. It originally said sleep training (ST and CIO are not mutually exclusive, ST comes in many methods), but my intention was NOT for it to be just about sleep training but about sleep in general.
And I hear what you're saying about not just jumping to CIO. And I agree to an extent. But that's also why each and every time I've given my personal opinions and advice I mention other options: NCSS, GNST, etc. and I always recommend reading the book and not just winging it.
FTR..there was no snark in my response to you. I was sincere when I said I hope you never have to get to that point. I really do hope you can always find that simple fix. I just know that I was given a lot of "simple fixes" with DD1, and not a single one worked. I read NCSS word for word. It just wasn't realistic for us and our lifestyle. And believe me, I tried it for a few weeks. We tried so many things with DD1. Nothing but Ferber worked for us.
So while you are free to continue to help moms try and find that simple fix (and believe me I hope they do!), I guess I'm just trying to help alleviate any guilt they may feel over sleep training if they do get to the point.
Sleeplessness sucks. It's horrible and we're having a rough time. That said, I'm not sure that it's reasonable to expect my 5.5 month old to skip a feeding in the middle of the nigbt if he's hungry.
#askingtheimportantquestions
I can get on board with not reading the book, because I hate to read, and doing research....however, even I know you don't sleep train a sick baby! And I have done NO research on the subject. That's just irresponsible.
#history
We did three days of modified sleep training with DD2. Then she got a bad allergies attack and we let up a bit. Bed time was a breeze after those three days and we were happy with the improvement we saw and didn't push it.
Recently, she started waking up a lot on the way again. So we got stricter in the training 2 nights ago. Bedtime is still a breeze. That never changed. But we go stricter to decrease night wake ups. The first night she woke up twice and I finally got her at 2 and fed her. But I fell asleep, so she spent the rest if the morning in bed with me. Night two she slept to 4. That used to be my "I will feed you time". There were zero tears and she woke at the perfect time. Once again, we bed shared the feat of the morning.
So my advice is to go with your gut. Have DH do checks if possible. If it's just a minor cold and she seems fine for the most part, you might keep going with the training. If she's miserable and running fever, I'd honestly just hold her as much as she needs you to. Get her better, then go back to the training.
That said, I am waiting a bit before I decide if I need to pick a method. I'm still not sure that there's anything more complicated going on than "I am hungry. Waaaah"
Thanks. I just finished chapter 4 and have been looking for more info on twins. My pediatrician had triplets of her own, so I'll be picking her brain next week about this. They have been miraculously sleeping a *little* better the past few days. I guess all I had to do was buy the Ferber book to get them to sleep - hahah
I do 2 MOTN feedings still. DH does like 4 because he still has not learned his lesson about overfeeding babies and doesn't know what else to do with them when they wake up.
#2 due 12.23.17
I'm not sure how to cut back on the feedings ?
To make matters worse ... This week and next week I will be taking care of my mom ... Which means DD comes along and sleeps at grandmas also ... So sleep training is out the window.
I hope to start again when we are back home.
So I have an update. Taking away the swaddle has been so awesome! We haven't used the sleep sack because it's been so warm here, so she's just in footed pajama. Last night was our second night without it. She has been sleeping great and I think she was waking up so many times before because she wanted to sleep on her stomach and side, which is not possible when swaddled. This kid seriously loves sleeping almost completely face down.
So, to any moms out there that are dreading taking away the swaddle, it may actually be a good thing.
LO then (2 days) and now (1 year)
Talking out of my a** lol ... I think I need to train DH also ... It's worth another try. In his defense I probably shouldn't be standing there when he goes in .. Kind of defeats the purpose. I think I need to trust him and walk away.
BFP #1: Mother's Day 5/13/12...m/c Memorial Day Weekend 5/26/12
BFP #2: 2/16/13...Owen Ray born 6 weeks early 9/9/13
I feel like a total FTM moron and this is probably totally obvious to most people but I realized I just don't have a ton of milk in my breasts by night time and it's enough to keep her happy but not for nearly as long as a 5-6 ounce bottle. I just pump each night now after she goes down at 8.
Fingers crossed this trend continues! And thinking this might help someone if they are having similar issues :-)
#deathlyafraid
#atleastitsalongweekend
BFP #1: Mother's Day 5/13/12...m/c Memorial Day Weekend 5/26/12
BFP #2: 2/16/13...Owen Ray born 6 weeks early 9/9/13
BFP #1: Mother's Day 5/13/12...m/c Memorial Day Weekend 5/26/12
BFP #2: 2/16/13...Owen Ray born 6 weeks early 9/9/13