Due Nov. 21! Looking to connect with others with same due date.

miissperez · April 2014

Hi! I'm kind of new to this thing & I would love to meet other mom's with the same (or near!) due date.
I am a mother of 3 girls, my youngest being 6. Although I am quite nervous about this pregnancy/birth, I am considering an unassisted homebirth!
I am looking for others to share thoughts & experiences with. >:D<

abbyful · April 2014

miissperez said:
Hi! I'm kind of new to this thing & I would love to meet other mom's with the same (or near!) due date.
I am a mother of 3 girls, my youngest being 6. Although I am quite nervous about this pregnancy/birth, I am considering an unassisted homebirth!
I am looking for others to share thoughts & experiences with. >:D<

What do you mean "unassisted home birth"? You aren't going to have a midwife present?

If that's the case, I can tell you right now that idea isn't going to get any love either here or on the Natural Birth board. It's reckless and dangerous.

miissperez · April 2014

abbyful said:
What do you mean "unassisted home birth"? You aren't going to have a midwife present?

If that's the case, I can tell you right now that idea isn't going to get any love either here or on the Natural Birth board. It's reckless and dangerous.

I would expect many close-minded, uninformed people to think that. But I've had three previous healthy, quick, unmedicated natural births & it's a decision I'm more than sure we can handle. We'd definitely have a backup plan in case of an emergency. Although, I don't see giving birth as a "medical emergency" as most people do. I believe our bodies were created to handle childbirth. And in some cases (not as common as many think) things could go wrong, I don't deny that. I am not against hospital births, I just don't think it's always necessary. I have, and still am, educating myself on homebirth/childbirth and the possible complications. It's definitely something I've put a lot of thought into.

I don't expect everyone to agree with my personal decision, but I DO hope people wouldn't judge and be so close-minded about it. [-O<

RedBirdFly · April 2014

Home birth is all fine and good - I plan on having one. But assisted, as with...a midwife. She will be there in case something happens and I need a medical professional, but most home birth midwifes are pretty hands off.

RedBirdFly · April 2014

And yes, I would probably think you're being reckless and dangerous to plan an UNassisted homebirth. No amount of reading can replace the training medical professionals have in the delivery of a child.

nonoemily · April 2014

miissperez said:

abbyful said:

I don't expect everyone to agree with my personal decision, but I DO hope people wouldn't judge and be so close-minded about it. [-O<
If you are looking for an open-minded judgement free place, The Bump forums are not it. I personally don't bat an eye at an unassisted birth and don't waste my time judging other peoples choices, because, frankly, I couldn't care less. Unfortunately that puts me in the minority both on this board and IRL.

Also due Nov 21st.

Anyway, welcome to the board. If you share information here, be prepared to hear everyone's opinion about it. That's the way things go.

missnacholover · April 2014

*facepalm*

abbyful · April 2014

miissperez

First, are you going to have any prenatal care at all? Because no OB or midwife would condone unassisted home birth.

And you are not a medical professional. How are you going to decide what is an "emergency"? You can't. Period. You are gambling with your baby's life.

Just because your first 3 births went according to plan doesn't mean this one will.

ed16564 · April 2014

Not to mention like you said your youngest is 6- 6 years can take you from a low risk patient to a high risk patient- and a lot about your health and ability to have an "easy birth" can change.

atok · April 2014

Things can go from good to bad very fast. I had an easy pregnancy, an easy 19 hr labor and birth but then started bleeding bad, needed a blood transfusion and meds very fast after my ds was born. Please rethink your birth plan

lizgrace03 · April 2014

I'm totally green on most of this stuff, and I had NO IDEA this was something people did (the unassisted birth).

You learn something new every day.

Edit, grammar

miissperez · April 2014

https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/966059/unassisted-childbirth-at-homettp://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/966059/unassisted-childbirth-at-homeI respect all of your opinions...I'm not going to argue with you. This isn't the first time I've heard/read all this. It doesn't change how I feel about my decision. And someone asked, yes, I WILL be going to regular prenatal check ups. I just believe birth should be natural, intimate & special...with no unnecessary interferences. And with as much family/friends present as you desire! I want my children to be there to witness the birth of their sibling. And I've experienced hospital births & wasn't very pleased with how they went. Freebirth is not as uncommon as you think...you should definitely read into it! I appreciate all your thoughts & opinions.

RedBirdFly · April 2014

You can have a home birth with a midwife. They generally don't intervene if they don't have to and let as many people be there as you want, including your children. My DH will be catching the baby and clamping the cord, but there will be a team of professionals standing by to handle an emergency.

I'd like to hear what your provider has to say about this.

I don't understand why anyone would want to take the risk of planning to have no one nearby. Just because someone else does it doesn't mean it's safe, either.

Eta: spelling.

missnacholover · April 2014

miissperez said:

https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/966059/unassisted-childbirth-at-homettp://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/966059/unassisted-childbirth-at-homeI respect all of your opinions...I'm not going to argue with you. This isn't the first time I've heard/read all this. It doesn't change how I feel about my decision. And someone asked, yes, I WILL be going to regular prenatal check ups. I just believe birth should be natural, intimate & special...with no unnecessary interferences. And with as much family/friends present as you desire! I want my children to be there to witness the birth of their sibling. And I've experienced hospital births & wasn't very pleased with how they went. Freebirth is not as uncommon as you think...you should definitely read into it! I appreciate all your thoughts & opinions.

If you're going to have so many family/friends present, why not throw one more person who just happens to be a medical professional into the mix?

MommaKb710 · April 2014

Wow. Just wow.

miissperez · April 2014

missnacholover said:

If you're going to have so many family/friends present, why not throw one more person who just happens to be a medical professional into the mix?

I never said I, personally, would have many people there at the birth. But it is an option you dont get in a hospital. Every woman has a right to birth the way she chooses. You have no right to criticize anyone's decision. I don't understand why so many "women" feel the need to be so judgemental. How I choose to birth doesn't make me any better or less than you! I'm not criticizing anyone's decision to have an old, boring, traditional hospital birth...or to get an epidural because their not strong enough to handle the pain...THAT'S YOUR DECISION! And I could care less about it

>-

*and when I say "you", that's just to everyone being judgemental

missnacholover · April 2014

miissperez said:

If you're going to have so many family/friends present, why not throw one more person who just happens to be a medical professional into the mix?
I never said I, personally, would have many people there at the birth. But it is an option you dont get in a hospital. Every woman has a right to birth the way she chooses. You have no right to criticize anyone's decision. I don't understand why so many "women" feel the need to be so judgemental. How I choose to birth doesn't make me any better or less than you! I'm not criticizing anyone's decision to have an old, boring, traditional hospital birth...or to get an epidural because their not strong enough to handle the pain...THAT'S YOUR DECISION! And I could care less about it >- *and when I say "you", that's just to everyone being judgemental

Talk about judgemental.

lisaren · April 2014

Oh lovely lady, having an epidural does not mean one is NOT strong enough to handle pain. That is such bullshit, in sorry but I've gotta call you out for that.

Aren't you doing the exact same thing you're pissed off about? Judging someone for their labor and delivery choices.

I think most ladies are just concerned about the actual delivery, if there is an emergency what will you do. How will you effectively and quickly handle the situation. Why not have a midwife on hand, JUST IN CASE!!!

More power to the ladies doing it med free. But at the end of the day, that does not make you (in general you) a better mom, woman, wife, sister, fairy, love goddess then me or any other lady choosing meds.

And your title says due date buddies for end of November, not due date buddies for a non medicated non medical professional due date buddy. Maybe be a little clearer when posting, Just a thought

brooklyngirl18 · April 2014

miissperez said:

If you're going to have so many family/friends present, why not throw one more person who just happens to be a medical professional into the mix?
I never said I, personally, would have many people there at the birth. But it is an option you dont get in a hospital. Every woman has a right to birth the way she chooses. You have no right to criticize anyone's decision. I don't understand why so many "women" feel the need to be so judgemental. How I choose to birth doesn't make me any better or less than you! I'm not criticizing anyone's decision to have an old, boring, traditional hospital birth...or to get an epidural because their not strong enough to handle the pain...THAT'S YOUR DECISION! And I could care less about it >- *and when I say "you", that's just to everyone being judgemental

are you seriously suggesting that women who get an epidural are weak? that's some judgemental bullshit right there. last i checked, you dont get some special award or a more perfect baby by going med free. you claim to not want to be judged on your plans but look at you now turning around and judging others. not cool.

KatzKiss · April 2014

Boring hospital birth. As in not having my family running around me screaming because my baby is dying and there is no one there who knows what to do. And having an epidural because "I can't handle the pain"? Who's judgmental now. I'm sorry but I don't think you're going to fit in here. In fact, why don't you just GTFO now!

LadyBird9 · April 2014

I almost didn't open this because the due date buddies is driving me crazy... but this is gold.

mrsodonnell12 · April 2014

I'm having a home birth. I guess I'm confused why you are planning an unassisted home birth? Why not have your midwife present?

I had an a planned home birth with my last and it ended up being unassisted. It was amazing and perfect and wonderful. This time around we will be calling the midwife as soon as possible yo avoid this. What if something hadn't gone smoothly? A midwife can take something that could turn deadly if your alone and quickly fix it so you don't even realize the risk potential of what just happened. I just don't get what you are thinking.

nurrieum · April 2014

I'm a huge advocate for home birth but this is ridiculous. I lived with a direct entry midwife growing up and she was there for the birth of Ds. Said mid-wife had 2 healthy birth's previous and her 3rd nearly killed her. Sure, we aren't going to convince you and I hope your birth goes smoothly but regardless of personal opinion this is completely reckless.

I've seen pregnancy's that were completely great until delivery and despite intervention and emergency plans the mother and child still died. You can NOT predict all that will happen during delivery and not to have someone trained present is reckless. They don't have to be "hands on" but they can see when situations are getting critical. This is important.

suzyrenee · April 2014

"Boring"??? Isn't having a healthy baby the point? I'm all for a home birth, birth center, whatever your preference is. But you are saying that if we don't choose a reckless, unassisted plan the birth of our child is "boring"? Wow! Now that's judgemental.

miissperez · April 2014

suzyrenee said:
"Boring"??? Isn't having a healthy baby the point? I'm all for a home birth, birth center, whatever your preference is. But you are saying that if we don't choose a reckless, unassisted plan the birth of our child is "boring"? Wow! Now that's judgemental.

I never used the word "unassisted" in that post! I was just talking about the simple, routine hospital birth. Even choosing an "assisted" home birth would be much more special. Just saying. And thanks a lot guys! I'm loving this....how y'all misunderstand & take things out of context. Keep it coming!

nurrieum · April 2014

miissperez said:

If you're going to have so many family/friends present, why not throw one more person who just happens to be a medical professional into the mix?
I never said I, personally, would have many people there at the birth. But it is an option you dont get in a hospital. Every woman has a right to birth the way she chooses. You have no right to criticize anyone's decision. I don't understand why so many "women" feel the need to be so judgemental. How I choose to birth doesn't make me any better or less than you! I'm not criticizing anyone's decision to have an old, boring, traditional hospital birth...or to get an epidural because their not strong enough to handle the pain...THAT'S YOUR DECISION! And I could care less about it >- *and when I say "you", that's just to everyone being judgemental

I realize this has been addressed but I just now saw this and it pissed me off. You gotta be farking kidding me with that.

miissperez said:

"Boring"??? Isn't having a healthy baby the point? I'm all for a home birth, birth center, whatever your preference is. But you are saying that if we don't choose a reckless, unassisted plan the birth of our child is "boring"? Wow! Now that's judgemental.
I never used the word "unassisted" in that post! I was just talking about the simple, routine hospital birth. Even choosing an "assisted" home birth would be much more special. Just saying. And thanks a lot guys! I'm loving this....how y'all misunderstand & take things out of context. Keep it coming!

No one has taken you out of context at all. They just don't agree with you- which you could only fire back judgement to them. Ridiculous. Every birth is special- do you want a gold star because you're doing it "unassisted". Pray to God the birth is "boring" God forbid a complication come in- threaten a child to "excite things up". I'm not usually one to call people out but wow.

I hope that for your baby rather than your sanctimommy-hood your birth goes well, but you should really take a minute to consider things up there on your high horse.

RedBirdFly · April 2014

I don't understand how a hospital birth isn't special. I would NEVER say a home birth is more special than a hospital birth. My DS was born in a hospital with pitocin and and epidural. My son was BORN, and that's what made it special. To say that a home birth with a midwife is "more special" than a hospital birth would cheapen my son's birth, and that is ridiculous.

My MW had her homebirth attended by another midwife and her assistant, even though she knew way more about childbirth than you could possibly know through your limited research. She had seen multiple emergencies and even though she would know how to handle them, she knew it was safer to have another trained professional there.

RedBirdFly · April 2014

Next thing we will see is OP claiming she attended the birth of puppies, kittens, and unicorn foals, so she is perfectly able to perform diagnostic procedures for distress on herself and her fetus.

nurrieum · April 2014

RedBirdFly said:

Next thing we will see is OP claiming she attended the birth of puppies, kittens, and unicorn foals, so she is perfectly able to perform diagnostic procedures for distress on herself and her fetus.

This made Dh and i laugh so damn hard. I needed that.

renbee · April 2014

I hate when people point to instances like this as this board being mean, or judgmental, or rude.

Do you know the real reason these ladies are forcefully stating their opposition to your unassisted home birth? Because we CARE. As fellow moms or moms-to-be, we genuinely CARE about your well-being and the well-being of your unborn child.

What you are doing is dangerous and irresponsible, and we want to at least try to get you to see this before your story ends in tragedy that could have easily been prevented. It's like seeing someone start to step out in to oncoming traffic - of course you are going to yell and warn them to watch out, rather than sit there and do nothing.

Please, please, please, reconsider. Talk to a medical professional about the risks if you don't believe us. Maybe just meet with a few midwives - what harm could that possibly do?

momtojad · April 2014

I birthed at birth center. The only person that was in the room was DH and my midwife. She didn't intervene because she wasn't needed, but she was there. Jumping from hospital birth to unassisted home birth, you are missing a lot of middle ground. You couldn't pay to give birth in a hospital if I didn't have complications, but I am not about to just go off on my own.

miissperez · April 2014

Kllopez1221 said:

We aren't "judging" you. We simply don't understand why you would take the unnecessary risk. Yes, you have had normal births, but I would HATE for something to go wrong, you lose your baby or your own life. Not saying that it is going to happen, but it can. If you don't like people expressing their concern for your welfare and the welfare of your child, then you shouldn't post on a forum. And as for a hospital birth being boring, or not being strong enough to handle labor without the use of an epidural, whose being judgemental now?

These people don't know me! So how can you say, and expect me to believe, that they're "expressing their concern" for the welfare of me and my child??? That's funny to me, actually. If I was to give birth in a hospital and my child died...would they care, or even know?? NO. It wouldn't make a difference in their lives. Everyone gets to choose their own personal birth plan and mine shouldn't be of concern to anyone who doesn't know me. What I choose shouldn't matter in the least to anyone here! You all obviously have no clue about what I know and what experience I have with homebirths. I never stated my experiences and education here...frankly, because it's no ones business. I will go ahead and let you all assume what you want. It's quite entertaining! But like I said, no one here knows me so it's impossible to truly care about my decision and/or the outcome. You all are just being very judgemental...and some, immature as well. [-(

sunflwra · April 2014

miissperez said:

Kllopez1221 said:

These people don't know me! So how can you say, and expect me to believe, that they're "expressing their concern" for the welfare of me and my child??? That's funny to me, actually. If I was to give birth in a hospital and my child died...would they care, or even know?? NO. It wouldn't make a difference in their lives. Everyone gets to choose their own personal birth plan and mine shouldn't be of concern to anyone who doesn't know me. What I choose shouldn't matter in the least to anyone here! You all obviously have no clue about what I know and what experience I have with homebirths. I never stated my experiences and education here...frankly, because it's no ones business. I will go ahead and let you all assume what you want. It's quite entertaining! But like I said, no one here knows me so it's impossible to truly care about my decision and/or the outcome. You all are just being very judgemental...and some, immature as well. [-(
I was ignoring this post but now you've pissed me off. I don't know how you could think that anyone who already is or is going to be a mother or just has a freaking heart would not care about the senseless injury or death of a mother and/or her child. And yes, somebody dying in this situation for these ridiculous reasons would be senseless.

I don't care about your education or knowledge with homebirths- there's a reason that doctors or healthcare professionals get care from others in these situations- you are the patient. So unless your husband or one of your kids is a healthcare professional and is going to oversee the care of you and your baby, it doesn't mean squat!

As Aaren said, these women are commenting because they care- they are asking you to rethink what you are doing. The fact that you can't see that and have attacked this the way that you have makes me second guess whether I give a crap about you personally but I sure as shit do about your child (though obviously you don't care about something happening to me or my child and it wouldn't make a difference in your life- according to how you see things).

lisaren · April 2014

Honey boo, you opened this can of worms. WTF did you expect a bunch of pregnant women to say on a subject we are ALL going through???????
Seriously.

miissperez · April 2014

Kllopez1221 said:

Just because you don't "know" a person, doesn't mean you cant be concerned. Again, if you are so perturbed by the concern from others, then maybe you shouldn't post on a forum. If you can't stand a few innocent comments, this is the last place you should be. And that is all I have to say on that. I won't continue to feed a troll.

Innocent comments?? PLEASE.. /:)
I guess I thought this was a place to meet real, mature women. Where you can talk, share things with & support each other. Without being judged & criticized! I guess it too much to ask for in this day and age, huh? Either way....good luck to all of you.

lisaren · April 2014

Toddles!

missnacholover · April 2014

We only know what you give us. Since you're so educated on unassisted home births, why not educate us? Maybe that will help us be more open to the idea.

Just sayin'.

musicalmommy3 · April 2014

Wow. This post is ridiculous. I wish you a very exciting unassisted birth. You clearly know everything, so I'm sure you can handle anything 'exciting' that happens.

I seriously hope for your baby's sake that everything goes smoothly. He/she shouldn't have to pay for your stupidity.

I can see why you would probably want to be on this board and not leave, because I don't think you would have many people in real life who would want to listen to your judgemental bullshit.

After you have your unassisted birth, are you going to stitch up your vagina? Maybe your hubby can help. Have fun!

missnacholover · April 2014

Kllopez1221 said:

After you have your unassisted birth, are you going to stitch up your vagina? Maybe your hubby can help. Have fun!

This has me dying!!! "Honey bring the needle and thread I think I have a tear!"

He's a man. He'll probably just duct tape or staple that shit.

sunflwra · April 2014

missnacholover said:

He's a man. He'll probably just duct tape or staple that shit.

Love is not a strong enough word
:x

suzyrenee · April 2014

missnacholover said:

Kllopez1221 said:

After you have your unassisted birth, are you going to stitch up your vagina? Maybe your hubby can help. Have fun!

This has me dying!!! "Honey bring the needle and thread I think I have a tear!"

He's a man. He'll probably just duct tape or staple that shit.

Oh God, best thing I've read all day!

Want a personalized experience?

Due Nov. 21! Looking to connect with others with same due date.

Re: Due Nov. 21! Looking to connect with others with same due date.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards