Due Nov. 21! Looking to connect with others with same due date.

RedBirdFly

This thread really is gold and makes me crush so hard on my BMB.

marajay6

I have a really stupid question that I am genuinely curious about. Since this thread is already turning into a 3 ring circus, I figure why not ask it here...it's about home birth so it's kinda related....

I am a FTM. I have never witnessed a human birth and have very little concept of how messy it can be. But I assume it is messy. With home birth, how is the mess contained? Who cleans it up? Do most women deliver in the tub to make cleanup easy? Or do you put a sheet on the bed? I am not really interested in a home birth, so this question is just a combination of me being embarrassingly niave and disgustingly curious.

suzyrenee

This thread is a beautiful thing, you never know where it has turned next when you open it up! I second the crushin' on you, November ladies!

runningmama14

Kllopez1221 said:

Guise, come on guise.. can't we all just induce on the same day and make this the November *pick one day* board. I mean wouldn't that be easier. 

I'll make a clicky poll so we can pick the day!

missnacholover

sj+cm131 said:

I have a really stupid question that I am genuinely curious about. Since this thread is already turning into a 3 ring circus, I figure why not ask it here...it's about home birth so it's kinda related.... I am a FTM. I have never witnessed a human birth and have very little concept of how messy it can be. But I assume it is messy. With home birth, how is the mess contained? Who cleans it up? Do most women deliver in the tub to make cleanup easy? Or do you put a sheet on the bed? I am not really interested in a home birth, so this question is just a combination of me being embarrassingly niave and disgustingly curious.

Dexter that shit.

paintedtulips

Being a mother is about doing whats right for your child no matter how you you feel. How can you honestly have an unassisted birth when it could endanger your baby? What it is, is selfish. You are saying, "this is what I want and no matter how many people tell me that I could hurt or kill my baby with this decision." You know I think we would love those ideal births, on our bed, with our husband by our side, a few pushes, and out comes the baby, no problems, healthy, hardly any pain. But, its unrealistic. And that is why we do hire midwives and/or have births in hospitals. It is about the baby, not you. 

Another point, I got from Vicki Iovine, who wrote this great pregnancy book, when you are pregnant growing and delivering a healthy baby should be your top priority. In the sense that you should do whatever you can, to deliver a healthy baby. If that means pain meds, fine, if that means hospital birth, fine. If that means not walking, or using the birth ball, and just laying, fine. It doesn't matter HOW you get to the end, as long as the end is a healthy and safe delivery. Birth isn't a competition, there isn't a medal at the end. Therefore, an unassisted birth is just stupid. I would think if you knew there was even a 20% chance something could go terribly wrong, you would want to take every precaution to make sure in an emergency your baby would be ok. The fact you aren't, again is selfish. 

DoubleUp8

Words cannot describe how much I am entertained by this post! I am so glad I got linked to it by @Melissa2216's clicky pol!  Love N14! :x

CosMayah

I guess I am a bit confused, why there is so much animosity and fear mongering in a group of women that have a tendency to go natural. Is it a natural instinct for women/ mothers to tear each other down with disrespect, insensitivity and mean spirited-ness? Though we as individuals do not always resonate, it does more harm than good to offer hate-filled words as opposed to heart-felt advice. As women, we have fought and struggled for equality and reproductive rights, so why now at a most joyous time do we choose to shoot daggers instead. Good luck and much love to all with your birth experiences, whichever way you choose to have them.

abbyful

CosMayah said:

I guess I am a bit confused, why there is so much animosity and fear mongering in a group of women that have a tendency to go natural. Is it a natural instinct for women/ mothers to tear each other down with disrespect, insensitivity and mean spirited-ness? Though we as individuals do not always resonate, it does more harm than good to offer hate-filled words as opposed to heart-felt advice. As women, we have fought and struggled for equality and reproductive rights, so why now at a most joyous time do we choose to shoot daggers instead. Good luck and much love to all with your birth experiences, whichever way you choose to have them.

Fear mongering? Hardly. Things can go wrong quickly, and a trained professional has a much higher chance of intervening before they go TERRIBLY WRONG with the mother, baby, or both dying. Several women have posted in this thread even that if they were unattended either they or their baby would have died.

There is a huge difference between NATURAL birth and UNASSISTED birth. The OP said she wants an unassisted birth. No doctor. No midwife. Just her and her husband & kids, at home alone. Nobody ther that really knows what is going on. (Having a few kids before does NOT mean you know what is going on in terms of what to do if situations arise. Even midwives do not have unattended births, they have another midwife attend them.)

Sorry, but nobody here is going to condone foolish and dangerous choices. This is not an "epi or no epi" level discussion; choosing to have a birth alone with no trained professional present can literally be a life & death decision.

renbee

CosMayah said:

I guess I am a bit confused, why there is so much animosity and fear mongering in a group of women that have a tendency to go natural. Is it a natural instinct for women/ mothers to tear each other down with disrespect, insensitivity and mean spirited-ness? Though we as individuals do not always resonate, it does more harm than good to offer hate-filled words as opposed to heart-felt advice. As women, we have fought and struggled for equality and reproductive rights, so why now at a most joyous time do we choose to shoot daggers instead. Good luck and much love to all with your birth experiences, whichever way you choose to have them.

Oh FFS. No one here was mean-spirited.

And your women's equality argument doesn't work here. The whole point of equality is that we have the right to speak our minds and let our (strong) opinions be known. Not sugarcoat things or keep our thoughts to ourselves.

Kristy774

Insert blonde police officer giff here @lisaren‌

lisaren

Hahaha!

I'm gonna find you a shiny badge.

Dcat022

I'm shocked. Not at the unassisted home birth choice, but at all the judgmental comments responding to it. Women who choose home births to begin with are generally a highly educated group, who are making an informed decision. The lot of you being so judgmental need to rethink your comments and look within. No, I'm not going to have an unassisted home birth, but who am I to judge anyone who plans to?

KatzKiss

Dcat022 said:

I'm shocked. Not at the unassisted home birth choice, but at all the judgmental comments responding to it. Women who choose home births to begin with are generally a highly educated group, who are making an informed decision. The lot of you being so judgmental need to rethink your comments and look within. No, I'm not going to have an unassisted home birth, but who am I to judge anyone who plans to?

I reserve the right to judge anyone who intentionally puts their child's life at risk.

Dcat022

Reread your post so that you can see how ridiculous it is. Your points are not even valid & do not warrant a response. Perhaps I should have mentioned earlier that I am a RN who has worked in L&D and I have personally witnessed incidents of fetal demise (and death of a laboring mother for that matter) in a hospital full of nurses and doctors. It is devastating to the parents AND the nurses and doctors on the floor. The
point is, fetal demise is possible in the "best" of circumstances. The lady has said she is informed on the matter and has contingency plans in place. As a nurse, it is my job to advocate for my patient. If this lady was my patient, I would inform and educate, but in the end, it is the patient's decision. This is how it should be. And no one should be verbally attacked or called "stupid" in this forum.

Kristy774

O M G

jessa1228

VioletFlower

Dcat022 said:

I'm shocked. Not at the unassisted home birth choice, but at all the judgmental comments responding to it. Women who choose home births to begin with are generally a highly educated group, who are making an informed decision. The lot of you being so judgmental need to rethink your comments and look within. No, I'm not going to have an unassisted home birth, but who am I to judge anyone who plans to?

Really?! How the hell do you know they are highly educated? Have you met them all?
As someone who lost a baby it makes me SICK that someone would risk their baby and give birth without a midwife, dr, or other QUALIFIED professional.

Kristy774

@jessa1228‌ -

suzyrenee

Dcat022 said:

Reread your post so that you can see how ridiculous it is. Your points are not even valid & do not warrant a response. Perhaps I should have mentioned earlier that I am a RN who has worked in L&D and I have personally witnessed incidents of fetal demise (and death of a laboring mother for that matter) in a hospital full of nurses and doctors. It is devastating to the parents AND the nurses and doctors on the floor. The
point is, fetal demise is possible in the "best" of circumstances. The lady has said she is informed on the matter and has contingency plans in place. As a nurse, it is my job to advocate for my patient. If this lady was my patient, I would inform and educate, but in the end, it is the patient's decision. This is how it should be. And no one should be verbally attacked or called "stupid" in this forum.

I have trouble believing that a L&D Rn would deny the value of having a nurse or doctor available in the case of an emergency.

RedBirdFly

suzyrenee said:

Dcat022 said:

Reread your post so that you can see how ridiculous it is. Your points are not even valid & do not warrant a response. Perhaps I should have mentioned earlier that I am a RN who has worked in L&D and I have personally witnessed incidents of fetal demise (and death of a laboring mother for that matter) in a hospital full of nurses and doctors. It is devastating to the parents AND the nurses and doctors on the floor. The
point is, fetal demise is possible in the "best" of circumstances. The lady has said she is informed on the matter and has contingency plans in place. As a nurse, it is my job to advocate for my patient. If this lady was my patient, I would inform and educate, but in the end, it is the patient's decision. This is how it should be. And no one should be verbally attacked or called "stupid" in this forum.

I have trouble believing that a L&D Rn would deny the value of having a nurse or doctor available in the case of an emergency.

Or even a midwife.

suzyrenee

RedBirdFly said:

suzyrenee said:

Dcat022 said:

Reread your post so that you can see how ridiculous it is. Your points are not even valid & do not warrant a response. Perhaps I should have mentioned earlier that I am a RN who has worked in L&D and I have personally witnessed incidents of fetal demise (and death of a laboring mother for that matter) in a hospital full of nurses and doctors. It is devastating to the parents AND the nurses and doctors on the floor. The
point is, fetal demise is possible in the "best" of circumstances. The lady has said she is informed on the matter and has contingency plans in place. As a nurse, it is my job to advocate for my patient. If this lady was my patient, I would inform and educate, but in the end, it is the patient's decision. This is how it should be. And no one should be verbally attacked or called "stupid" in this forum.

I have trouble believing that a L&D Rn would deny the value of having a nurse or doctor available in the case of an emergency.

Or even a midwife.

Right, just some sort of professional.

Dcat022

Why are you attacking me for defending someone's right to choose how they give birth? She is making an informed decision and she is no more putting her child's life in danger than if she walked into a hospital to give birth (yeah I know you're all so well informed and totally disagree). If you don't agree with her, why are all of you still in the forum she started leaving such negative comments? Why not go to other forums which you fully support? I'm not in your forums trying to start debates with you. I'm coming from a medical professional's stand point. We don't live in a totalitarian state where women are shipped off to give birth in a hospital if the choose not to. And yes, most people in 1st world countries who choose to give birth at home are highly educated and informed. And for the other comment above, it's her CHOICE! I never mentioned anything about nurses/docs not having value. If everyone is so tired of this forum, why are you here, and why will you reply to me? I am here because I SUPPORT the lady's right to make her own choices for her family and don't come back at me with crap about carseats and killing.

BlackBooks

Oh hai @Dcat022. Looks like you just joined a few days ago. Did you create your account just to troll us or can we expect to see you on other boards too? Thanks for stopping by!

suzyrenee

aragosta said:

"She is making an informed decision and she is no more putting her child's life in danger than if she walked into a hospital to give birth (yeah I know you're all so well informed and totally disagree). " (quote fail)

So, I think at this point we can all agree this is troll/MUD yes?

Yes, definitely.

Dcat022

Lol. Ok ladies. I'm a troll? Lmfao. I'm the one who is supporting the lady who started this forum. Everyone else is jumping down her throat (and mine) and I'M the troll???? Really???? Yes I did just join because I'm am newly expecting (Nov 19). Is that what a troll is? Opening a forum, seeing someone getting unjustly attacked, then defending and respecting that person's choice? And normally I do just browse on forums because sometimes you can find informative information, but today it really burned my A$$ to see all of you ladies ganging up on someone. Especially when none of you know what you're talking about. So again, why are YOU on HER forum if you totally disagree with her. I clicked on her forum because its near the top and her due date is so close to mine. And lastly, it's funny how you have the troll mimes and giffs so ready. I think anyone reading and scrolling through can see who the 'trolls' are. It's the people verbally attacking others for no good reason. Have a great day and a healthy, safe pregnancy to those who ARE expecting.

Dcat022

Funny picture though @BlackBooks‌
Lol, very funny.

Bandia12

This post is getting so old.

nurrieum

Dcat022 said:

Lol. Ok ladies. I'm a troll? Lmfao. I'm the one who is supporting the lady who started this forum. Everyone else is jumping down her throat (and mine) and I'M the troll???? Really???? Yes I did just join because I'm am newly expecting (Nov 19). Is that what a troll is? Opening a forum, seeing someone getting unjustly attacked, then defending and respecting that person's choice? And normally I do just browse on forums because sometimes you can find informative information, but today it really burned my A$$ to see all of you ladies ganging up on someone. Especially when none of you know what you're talking about. So again, why are YOU on HER forum if you totally disagree with her. I clicked on her forum because its near the top and her due date is so close to mine. And lastly, it's funny how you have the troll mimes and giffs so ready. I think anyone reading and scrolling through can see who the 'trolls' are. It's the people verbally attacking others for no good reason. Have a great day and a healthy, safe pregnancy to those who ARE expecting.

I'm hoping by wishing a great day and good pregnancies you are saying GBCB... Seriously. I fully support home births and I believe women should have the right to birth how they choose. However, having a planned unassisted birth takes advantage of the hard won battles for moms who want to deliver safely at home. It is reckless. There is not a way around that. There is a reason that countries and areas where unassisted birth's are the norm that there is a high rate of infant and mother death. 

FYI- This is the internet- you don't own it and neither does the OP. So people are going to respond when they see something this ridiculous- it's a public forum. If she wanted a bunch of "yeah do it" there are forums for that on other sites. FFS. 

Edit- words

Dcat022

We are not talking about 3rd world or 2nd world nations. However, where the US stands in infant/maternal mortality compared with ALL nations may surprise you.
I wish the lady who has chosen an unassisted home birth all the best and I wish all of you the best. Good day Ladies.

nurrieum

I thought you said Goodbye already... 

nurrieum

lissydee said:

We are not talking about 3rd world or 2nd world nations. However, where the US stands in infant/maternal mortality compared with ALL nations may surprise you. I wish the lady who has chosen an unassisted home birth all the best and I wish all of you the best. Good day Ladies.

Yeah we rank pretty freaking poorly when compared to other industrialized nations. That said, I understand her desires to birth out of hospital--bc even with some of the best health care out there, we just can't seem to get it quite right with regards to maternal, perinatal and neonatal morbidity and mortality. However, research undoubtedly shows that we fare even worse when pregnancy, labor and delivery is unattended. You as a nurse should know that and should appreciate the concern that others here have with regard to this.

Thank you for putting this- I couldn't find the words I was looking for to make this point. I agree that the hospital may not be the best choice for everyone however the point is that unassisted isn't a good choice for anyone. 

Quote fail- my bad. 

Melissa2216

Dcat022 said:

So again, why are YOU on HER forum if you totally disagree with her.

::clears throat:: um...this is a thread, not a forum.

ETA:

MollMoll4

Dcat022 said:

Lol. Ok ladies. I'm a troll? Lmfao. I'm the one who is supporting the lady who started this forum. Everyone else is jumping down her throat (and mine) and I'M the troll???? Really???? Yes I did just join because I'm am newly expecting (Nov 19). Is that what a troll is? Opening a forum, seeing someone getting unjustly attacked, then defending and respecting that person's choice? And normally I do just browse on forums because sometimes you can find informative information, but today it really burned my A$$ to see all of you ladies ganging up on someone. Especially when none of you know what you're talking about. So again, why are YOU on HER forum if you totally disagree with her. I clicked on her forum because its near the top and her due date is so close to mine. And lastly, it's funny how you have the troll mimes and giffs so ready. I think anyone reading and scrolling through can see who the 'trolls' are. It's the people verbally attacking others for no good reason. Have a great day and a healthy, safe pregnancy to those who ARE expecting.

I don't usually feed the trolls, but I would like to ask that you read the entire thread before flaming everyone here. The OP was incredibly rude and condescending toward those of us too "weak" to have a home birth. Before you start defending someone you might want to figure out if they are worth defending. OP is not.

Now- can we PLEASE let this damned thread die!?

lizgrace03

I'm sorry, I agree the thread needs to die, but I couldn't resist.

A few things about this just kill me:  "informative information," (I guess some information is not very informative but still) and, most especially... troll mime.  HAHA

Dcat022 said:

Lol. Ok ladies. I'm a troll? Lmfao. I'm the one who is supporting the lady who started this forum. Everyone else is jumping down her throat (and mine) and I'M the troll???? Really???? Yes I did just join because I'm am newly expecting (Nov 19). Is that what a troll is? Opening a forum, seeing someone getting unjustly attacked, then defending and respecting that person's choice? And normally I do just browse on forums because sometimes you can find informative information, but today it really burned my A$$ to see all of you ladies ganging up on someone. Especially when none of you know what you're talking about. So again, why are YOU on HER forum if you totally disagree with her. I clicked on her forum because its near the top and her due date is so close to mine. And lastly, it's funny how you have the troll mimes and giffs so ready. I think anyone reading and scrolling through can see who the 'trolls' are. It's the people verbally attacking others for no good reason. Have a great day and a healthy, safe pregnancy to those who ARE expecting.

lmsmith1222

This is the thread that never ends ... it goes on and on my friend .... 

I seriously cannot believe anyone thinks OP is "informed" in her decision, and would defend it. LOL. Can I get some of whatever you are on because it's clearly magical stuff!

nurrieum

This will be the thread that follows us 50 pages later into our 3rd trimester... 

jessandmike2013

I'm so deeply embarrassed for this woman. This is a train wreck!!!

HopingforChange

KatzKiss said:

I'm all for home births if that makes the mother more comfortable. But personally, I fucking love hospital births. It's like checking into hotel where you are not judged for not getting out of bed for days. Nice ladies bring you food and drugs and you don't have do any cleaning. And then you get a baby when you leave. It's like a dream come true!

Lurking, but this cracked me up!! It's so true! I loved having nutritious food just arrive, and not having to do my own laundry!