FFFC

Flamingemu · March 2014

MeatballEsq said:

I can't wait for it to warm up so the dog can spend some time outdoors. He loves it outside and he's really been getting on my nerves lately. Oh and the flameful part is that he's not tied up outside and we don't have an electric fence. He loves roaming our yard and he doesn't leave it except to play with the neighbor dog. In our defense, we live on 3 acres and there's only 7 houses on our street.

I live on a quareter acre (maybe) and don't have a fence. My dog has never been ties up and stays in the yard regardless. He has never left our yard and we have a ton of bunnies for him to chase.

thebanich · March 2014

MeatballEsq said:

I can't wait for it to warm up so the dog can spend some time outdoors. He loves it outside and he's really been getting on my nerves lately. Oh and the flameful part is that he's not tied up outside and we don't have an electric fence. He loves roaming our yard and he doesn't leave it except to play with the neighbor dog. In our defense, we live on 3 acres and there's only 7 houses on our street.

Our dog does this too. She just runs down to the bottom of our yard and frolicks along the neighbors fence line with their dogs. She spends most of the day at my mom's house trying to catch gnats in the front yard.

Holly_1007 · March 2014

Pokedot said:

hmp1 said:

Pokedot said:

Yesterday at DC pickup DS was playing outside having a ball. I felt bad to end the fun but told him we'd play at home outside. He flipped his shit when he realized we were leaving. I threw his boots and hat off after 10 minutes of trying to get him in the car and realized it would be 10x easier getting him in the carseat if it were FF. I'm all about safety and many of you know how I feel about RF before 2 but I might end up eating my words. The kid is way too strong to get him down in the seat when he freaks. He was hyperventilating it was so bad. I had a drink last night after he went to bed to reward myself for not losing my complete cool.

Maybe because I have never had a ff child, but I don't really see how wrestling him would be easier ff. He wasn't pissed about sitting rf, he was pissed about leaving and would have thrown a fit regardless. I tend to think it would be easier while rf since the seat is more reclined, so easier to pin him down. I would find something that works to get him to calm down for the 10 seconds you need to clip him in.

I agree about that but he is SO strong. Literally DH can't wrangle him in sometimes. He gets leverage by putting his feet on the seat and arches his back then rolls. It's like wrangling a crocodile bahahah. Time will tell but I wasn't armed with anything to calm him down. It was so embarrassing! DC even came over to the car 2x to check and make sure everything was ok. I don't plan on flipping him anytime soon however.

I'm only to here, but just wanted to let you know that if you have a kid that doesn't want to get in their seat, it doesn't matter if they are Rf or Ff, they aren't going to cooperate. Would a snack have calmed him down? I usually keep a couple of packets of Annie's bunny crackers in my center console in case I end up out somewhere and the kids get hungry, but it might work to calm one of them in this instance. Sorry he was such a nightmare, I'm sure daycare has seen that before though, no need to be embarrassed.

MarisaKathleen · March 2014

danabsd said:

I often put my phone in my shirt kinda tuck it behind the straps to keep it safe. The other day at Starbucks Beb took my phone and insisted on putting it back. The result, pulling down my tank top shoving my phone down it and giving a nice young barista the nip slip.
I think I need to quit storing things in my shirt.

Be careful....I do this too. Nancy now puts things down her shirt. Fake fruit, phones, bowls, shoes, etc. Then she yells "boobs!!" really loud as she does it.

Thank you DH for teaching our kid to say boobs....

Holly_1007 · March 2014

linzeek44 said:

melody921 said:

I'm on the verge of losing my shit with DS. I posted last week about how he's been so defiant/argumentative. I ask him to do something, he says no and yells about it. I tell him he can't do something, he calls me stupid and yells again. It's bedtime, and he's out of his bed countless times until it's two hours past when he should have been asleep. Every.single.day it's something. This started when DH was traveling but has not really improved in the week he's been home, so I'm not sure it's just related to the schedule being different.

I'm really at a loss for what's driving this. DH and I obviously don't yell and name call at home, so I don't know if this is something he's witnessing at school. He's mentioned a couple of times that some of the older kids at daycare say things that aren't nice, such as "You're not my friend, go away," but when I ask for more details, he doesn't give them. This morning, he just looked sad. One of his teachers said he hasn't really been saying much at school (I want to talk to the lead teacher to get a better feel for how he's been overall). Last night, my FIL was watching the kids for a few hours, and when we got home at 9:15, DS was still up, argued a ton about going to bed and FIL looks absolutely defeated and just kept saying, "He just doesn't listen."

I feel like my kid is turning into one of those monster children that I can't stand to be around (and that others won't want to be around either), which is sad because when he's not being such a punk, he's a fun, loving, interesting kid. I have no idea what to do. DH and I don't like to approach things from an overly punitive standpoint, but there are some rules that are not negotiable, and name-calling is never OK. I'm exhausted right now. If you read all of this, here are some cookies:

@melody921 I just did a parent workshop on challenging behavior this week. I don't know if it would be helpful, but if you think so, I can send you the link to it. One of the strategies is for encouraging compliance since noncompliance is exhausting.

@linzeek44 I would be interested in this!

Holly_1007 · March 2014

@melody921‌ I'm sorry that you are struggling with your DS

kids are so tough sometimes. Do you think that he is getting enough sleep? I have started taking keagans toys away when he is out of control. He didn't really get the behavior chart because it wasn't right there in front of him all the time. The first time I took them away, it was awful, now when he is having a complete melt down I just take away one or two favorites. He can earn them back the next day if he calms down and talks things over with me. Just thought I would tell you what is working for us

melody921 · March 2014

linzeek44 said:

melody921 said:

I'm on the verge of losing my shit with DS. I posted last week about how he's been so defiant/argumentative. I ask him to do something, he says no and yells about it. I tell him he can't do something, he calls me stupid and yells again. It's bedtime, and he's out of his bed countless times until it's two hours past when he should have been asleep. Every.single.day it's something. This started when DH was traveling but has not really improved in the week he's been home, so I'm not sure it's just related to the schedule being different.

I'm really at a loss for what's driving this. DH and I obviously don't yell and name call at home, so I don't know if this is something he's witnessing at school. He's mentioned a couple of times that some of the older kids at daycare say things that aren't nice, such as "You're not my friend, go away," but when I ask for more details, he doesn't give them. This morning, he just looked sad. One of his teachers said he hasn't really been saying much at school (I want to talk to the lead teacher to get a better feel for how he's been overall). Last night, my FIL was watching the kids for a few hours, and when we got home at 9:15, DS was still up, argued a ton about going to bed and FIL looks absolutely defeated and just kept saying, "He just doesn't listen."

I feel like my kid is turning into one of those monster children that I can't stand to be around (and that others won't want to be around either), which is sad because when he's not being such a punk, he's a fun, loving, interesting kid. I have no idea what to do. DH and I don't like to approach things from an overly punitive standpoint, but there are some rules that are not negotiable, and name-calling is never OK. I'm exhausted right now. If you read all of this, here are some cookies:

@melody921 I just did a parent workshop on challenging behavior this week. I don't know if it would be helpful, but if you think so, I can send you the link to it. One of the strategies is for encouraging compliance since noncompliance is exhausting.

@linzeek44, yes! I would love to take a look at it. DH and I are taking a class this week with a "parenting coach" we've talked with before. But I need all the strategies I can get right now. Thank you.

hmp1 · March 2014

Holly_1007 said:

@melody921‌ I'm sorry that you are struggling with your DS kids are so tough sometimes. Do you think that he is getting enough sleep? I have started taking keagans toys away when he is out of control. He didn't really get the behavior chart because it wasn't right there in front of him all the time. The first time I took them away, it was awful, now when he is having a complete melt down I just take away one or two favorites. He can earn them back the next day if he calms down and talks things over with me. Just thought I would tell you what is working for us

When we started the good behavior chart last year, I did it 3 times a day so it was more reinforced (twice a day on daycare days). I actually found that it helped me notice and praise him more throughout the day as I would want to tell him right away that he is doing something that earns him a star. Now it is routine so we only do it at night before we head upstairs. When we talk through it, I have him give me examples of what he did during the day to earn a star. It is funny how honest he is too. "Can you give me an example of helping clean up today" "No, I didn't help clean up today" (he used to get a star for putting his dishes in the sink but he doesn't anymore and has to do extra help beyond his normal "chores" for a clean up star). "We will work on that tomorrow so you can get an awesome clean up star tomorrow!" And then I remind him in the morning that we are going to work on earning a clean up star today.

melody921 · March 2014

Holly_1007 said:

@melody921‌ I'm sorry that you are struggling with your DS kids are so tough sometimes. Do you think that he is getting enough sleep? I have started taking keagans toys away when he is out of control. He didn't really get the behavior chart because it wasn't right there in front of him all the time. The first time I took them away, it was awful, now when he is having a complete melt down I just take away one or two favorites. He can earn them back the next day if he calms down and talks things over with me. Just thought I would tell you what is working for us

I suspect he might be tired since he fights bedtime every night, thus getting less sleep than I think is ideal. He usually still takes a nap though.

hmp1 · March 2014

I realize clean up was a bad example for Melody, lol. He gets a star for giving me an example of being a good friend, example of being an awesome brother, and lately we have been talking about giving compliments to friends to make them feel good but I haven't put that on the chart.

Holly_1007 · March 2014

hmp1 said:

Holly_1007 said:

@melody921‌ I'm sorry that you are struggling with your DS kids are so tough sometimes. Do you think that he is getting enough sleep? I have started taking keagans toys away when he is out of control. He didn't really get the behavior chart because it wasn't right there in front of him all the time. The first time I took them away, it was awful, now when he is having a complete melt down I just take away one or two favorites. He can earn them back the next day if he calms down and talks things over with me. Just thought I would tell you what is working for us

When we started the good behavior chart last year, I did it 3 times a day so it was more reinforced (twice a day on daycare days). I actually found that it helped me notice and praise him more throughout the day as I would want to tell him right away that he is doing something that earns him a star. Now it is routine so we only do it at night before we head upstairs. When we talk through it, I have him give me examples of what he did during the day to earn a star. It is funny how honest he is too. "Can you give me an example of helping clean up today" "No, I didn't help clean up today" (he used to get a star for putting his dishes in the sink but he doesn't anymore and has to do extra help beyond his normal "chores" for a clean up star). "We will work on that tomorrow so you can get an awesome clean up star tomorrow!" And then I remind him in the morning that we are going to work on earning a clean up star today.

I guess I didn't think of doing it that many times a day. We tried it about 6 months ago and didn't find it very effective. Maybe we will re approach it this spring.

PenelopePond · March 2014

This is going to sound terrible. The boys are really playing rough lately. They chase each other around, push, walk all over the couch, and wrestle all day. Normal I'm sure. I feel like all I do is tell them to stop. I kind of wish one of them would get hurt so they'd understand why I want them to stop. No, I don't mean badly. Just enough to know they need to chill out a bit.

Holly_1007 · March 2014

PenelopePond said:

This is going to sound terrible. The boys are really playing rough lately. They chase each other around, push, walk all over the couch, and wrestle all day. Normal I'm sure. I feel like all I do is tell them to stop. I kind of wish one of them would get hurt so they'd understand why I want them to stop. No, I don't mean badly. Just enough to know they need to chill out a bit.

We are going through this too. I've had to keep them separated a little during the day. Colby is the instigator! So frustrating!

MarisaKathleen · March 2014

My old roommate and my SIL are due a day apart (4/7& 4/8.)

@. I get it. You're uncomfortable, but seriously? It's only 9 months of your life.

For all of the I'm so big, I'm sure I'll go any day now statuses" I hope that her and my SIL are both a week late.

melody921 · March 2014

MarisaKathleen said:

My old roommate and my SIL are due a day apart (4/7& 4/8.)

@. I get it. You're uncomfortable, but seriously? It's only 9 months of your life.

For all of the I'm so big, I'm sure I'll go any day now statuses" I hope that her and my SIL are both a week late.

I hate when people are this stupid/uninformed. Really, you want your 6-week early baby out now to possibly have a host of health problems? On the flip side, I hate the people in the world who ask almost-term pregnant women when they're going to have the baby. I heard so many times, "OMG, you're so big. You've really popped. You're going to go any day," all of which started a few weeks before my actual due date.

PenelopePond · March 2014

Holly_1007 said:

PenelopePond said:

This is going to sound terrible. The boys are really playing rough lately. They chase each other around, push, walk all over the couch, and wrestle all day. Normal I'm sure. I feel like all I do is tell them to stop. I kind of wish one of them would get hurt so they'd understand why I want them to stop. No, I don't mean badly. Just enough to know they need to chill out a bit.

We are going through this too. I've had to keep them separated a little during the day. Colby is the instigator! So frustrating!

Sean is the instigator here! Crazy little brothers!

BeebopandBuddy · March 2014

melody921 said:

MarisaKathleen said:

My old roommate and my SIL are due a day apart (4/7& 4/8.)

@. I get it. You're uncomfortable, but seriously? It's only 9 months of your life.

For all of the I'm so big, I'm sure I'll go any day now statuses" I hope that her and my SIL are both a week late.

I hate when people are this stupid/uninformed. Really, you want your 6-week early baby out now to possibly have a host of health problems? On the flip side, I hate the people in the world who ask almost-term pregnant women when they're going to have the baby. I heard so many times, "OMG, you're so big. You've really popped. You're going to go any day," all of which started a few weeks before my actual due date.

I HATE when people say stuff like that! "You're ready to pop!" is the worst to me. No, I'm not a balloon or a toaster and that is not a cute thing to say to someone.

melody921 · March 2014

After what has been a crazy stressful week at work, I'm ready for some down time at home. I am not, however, ready to entertain MIL tonight and deal with my family tomorrow. I need a break that doesn't involve relatives, haha.

melody921 · March 2014

I have eaten more candy the past few days. It's like I'm responding to stress with jelly beans. I'm so aggravated right now that I can't just focus and stick with my healthy eating plan without undoing all the exercise I'm doing.

MarisaKathleen · March 2014

melody921 said:

MarisaKathleen said:

My old roommate and my SIL are due a day apart (4/7& 4/8.)

@. I get it. You're uncomfortable, but seriously? It's only 9 months of your life.

For all of the I'm so big, I'm sure I'll go any day now statuses" I hope that her and my SIL are both a week late.

I hate when people are this stupid/uninformed. Really, you want your 6-week early baby out now to possibly have a host of health problems? On the flip side, I hate the people in the world who ask almost-term pregnant women when they're going to have the baby. I heard so many times, "OMG, you're so big. You've really popped. You're going to go any day," all of which started a few weeks before my actual due date.

I'm not saying the last few weeks aren't uncomfortable. They totally were. But my SIL has been complaining since September. I'm over it. Old roommate has been complaining since Christmas. Hosting your own pain Olympics about being pregnant won't garner any sympathy from me at all, especially when you're talking about wanting to have a preemie baby so you don't feel so fat anymore.

SIL's MIL was doing that at her shower--which was a month ago. "Oh look how big she is! I bet the baby is here by St. Patrick's Day!" Yea..she's big because she's gained almost 60lbs. Not because she's going to have some monstrous baby.

I guess because it took us so long to have Nancy and my pregnancy was so emotionally yucky, I can't imagine wanting to have a baby early knowing what the risks are. Sure, most times maybe nothing will happen, but still. It's just a risk I can't imagine wanting to take so I can stop feeling fat.

Cheenomae · March 2014

Holly_1007 said:

hmp1 said:

Holly_1007 said:

@melody921‌ I'm sorry that you are struggling with your DS kids are so tough sometimes. Do you think that he is getting enough sleep? I have started taking keagans toys away when he is out of control. He didn't really get the behavior chart because it wasn't right there in front of him all the time. The first time I took them away, it was awful, now when he is having a complete melt down I just take away one or two favorites. He can earn them back the next day if he calms down and talks things over with me. Just thought I would tell you what is working for us

When we started the good behavior chart last year, I did it 3 times a day so it was more reinforced (twice a day on daycare days). I actually found that it helped me notice and praise him more throughout the day as I would want to tell him right away that he is doing something that earns him a star. Now it is routine so we only do it at night before we head upstairs. When we talk through it, I have him give me examples of what he did during the day to earn a star. It is funny how honest he is too. "Can you give me an example of helping clean up today" "No, I didn't help clean up today" (he used to get a star for putting his dishes in the sink but he doesn't anymore and has to do extra help beyond his normal "chores" for a clean up star). "We will work on that tomorrow so you can get an awesome clean up star tomorrow!" And then I remind him in the morning that we are going to work on earning a clean up star today.

I guess I didn't think of doing it that many times a day. We tried it about 6 months ago and didn't find it very effective. Maybe we will re approach it this spring.

@Holly_1007, try the chart again and update us on how it goes. Kenleigh loves her chart and I feel like it's making her thinking about her consequences good and bad before she does something. She gets so happy when she can add dot to her chart and then so upset when she can't and she always wants to talk about it. I feel like it's helping her little brain think before she does things.

willy_gert · March 2014

MarisaKathleen said:

melody921 said:

MarisaKathleen said:

My old roommate and my SIL are due a day apart (4/7& 4/8.)

@. I get it. You're uncomfortable, but seriously? It's only 9 months of your life.

For all of the I'm so big, I'm sure I'll go any day now statuses" I hope that her and my SIL are both a week late.

I hate when people are this stupid/uninformed. Really, you want your 6-week early baby out now to possibly have a host of health problems? On the flip side, I hate the people in the world who ask almost-term pregnant women when they're going to have the baby. I heard so many times, "OMG, you're so big. You've really popped. You're going to go any day," all of which started a few weeks before my actual due date.

I'm not saying the last few weeks aren't uncomfortable. They totally were. But my SIL has been complaining since September. I'm over it. Old roommate has been complaining since Christmas. Hosting your own pain Olympics about being pregnant won't garner any sympathy from me at all, especially when you're talking about wanting to have a preemie baby so you don't feel so fat anymore.

SIL's MIL was doing that at her shower--which was a month ago. "Oh look how big she is! I bet the baby is here by St. Patrick's Day!" Yea..she's big because she's gained almost 60lbs. Not because she's going to have some monstrous baby.

I guess because it took us so long to have Nancy and my pregnancy was so emotionally yucky, I can't imagine wanting to have a baby early knowing what the risks are. Sure, most times maybe nothing will happen, but still. It's just a risk I can't imagine wanting to take so I can stop feeling fat.

When we were PG I got texts, emails, FB posts about going into labor on labor day. I was constantly asked when I was going to have her. Granted for me, there was uncertainty about due date and I was constantly measuring ahead. I told everyone I would have her by the 15th, because of my PG complications and what the doctor had told me. Sure enough, 9/13 she was here, just like I said, before the 15th.

I am sure I had some, "I am so done being PG" posts, but I was never serious, just uncomfortable.

Hyaline · March 2014

I was planning a surprise date night tonight.

DH was such a turd earlier this week that I cancelled it because I decided I'd rather make dinner at home like normal than deal with him being a turd out on a date.

MeatballEsq · March 2014

@MarisaKathleen‌ feel free to share my birth story with them about having a baby six weeks early and having to leave them at the hospital NICU and walk out of there. Hardest moment of my life. Also seeing your baby hooked up to monitors? I think they'd stop trying to get the baby to come.

PenelopePond · March 2014

DH's birthday is Monday. I bought him a golf shirt and four pair of golf pants. (I got four because they were an awesome deal and I'm not sure which colors he'd like the most). Well, part of me wants to take the stuff back. He probably won't like the pants because he's a Nike snob and these are izod. ($80 pants vs $25 on sale). And he's not very good at doing things for my birthday. I kind of want to ask him if it sucks to not feel special on his birthday. I feel like a child.

thebanich · March 2014

MeatballEsq said:

@MarisaKathleen‌ feel free to share my birth story with them about having a baby six weeks early and having to leave them at the hospital NICU and walk out of there. Hardest moment of my life. Also seeing your baby hooked up to monitors? I think they'd stop trying to get the baby to come.

::hugs:: @meatballesq

When Lilly was about 10 months old we were out to dinner and I was just playing with her/being goofy and this sweet guy next to us kept waving at her and smiling. So my mom took her over to see him after we were done and his wife (?) just started sobbing. Her H and her dad had taken her to dinner to get her away from the hospital where her little girl was and she was just so sad. It broke my heart. I started crying too. Not something anyone would wish for if they thought about it.

/sad anecdote

Hyaline · March 2014

MarisaKathleen said:

Cheenomae said:

My FFFC: I wish I could have a friendship with my ex boyfriend. We broke up 12 years ago, but I've never stopped caring about him. In a purley platonic way, we broke up for a reason, but I still want the best for him. The break up was harder on him and he'd never ever speak to me again so it doesn't really matter!

My most important ex and I still have a couple friends in common but he would never speak to me. Thankfully it's also been 12 years and we've never run into each other (he lives in Boston) or anything but I still wonder about what it would be like to see him again, meet his wife, etc. My really good friend from grade school/high school is his cousin. I'm interested to see if we'll be invited to his wedding this summer, as I know my ex is standing up for him.

I'm still what I would describe as good friends with one ex. It's not always easy. In this case, it's worth it (and we have to see each other, so better be friends than not, lol) but honestly? There's a reason that 90% of the time people say "let's stay friends" they're bullshitting.

Holly_1007 · March 2014

I don't want to stArt a new thread so I'm putting this here. The boys and I had a play date with one of the boys in keagans class yesterday. The parents own a chain of car dealerships, I knew they were well off, but I underestimated it. Their house is huge, and gorgeous and worth over a million dollars. The kids all had fun (5 boys 5 and under) and the mom and I seemed to get along as well. I would like to continue to do things with them but I'm scared that the difference in our financial situations will be weird. I would be so embarrassed to invite them to our house, and I'm worried that once the weather gets warmer she will invite us to do expensive outings that we can't afford. I'm not really sure what to do.

willy_gert · March 2014

Holly_1007 said:

I don't want to stArt a new thread so I'm putting this here. The boys and I had a play date with one of the boys in keagans class yesterday. The parents own a chain of car dealerships, I knew they were well off, but I underestimated it. Their house is huge, and gorgeous and worth over a million dollars. The kids all had fun (5 boys 5 and under) and the mom and I seemed to get along as well. I would like to continue to do things with them but I'm scared that the difference in our financial situations will be weird. I would be so embarrassed to invite them to our house, and I'm worried that once the weather gets warmer she will invite us to do expensive outings that we can't afford. I'm not really sure what to do.

I think you be honest, but don't be embarrassed of your financial situation. Invite them over and don't say a word about your house being smaller or less than theirs, many people have houses smaller and less than. If she wants to do expensive outings you can't afford, just say you can't, but suggest an alternative, that way she doesn't feel like you are blowing her off and you can still hang out.

Having a connection with another adult is a big deal to me, probably because I don't have a lot of close friends, but I don't think you should let financial situation differences get in the way of having a friend or your kids enjoying time with a friend.

I don't think you should ever say anything about your financial situation being different, unless it comes up some other way. But I would not make it a reason to be or not to be friends with someone.

hmp1 · March 2014

Holly_1007 said:

I don't want to stArt a new thread so I'm putting this here. The boys and I had a play date with one of the boys in keagans class yesterday. The parents own a chain of car dealerships, I knew they were well off, but I underestimated it. Their house is huge, and gorgeous and worth over a million dollars. The kids all had fun (5 boys 5 and under) and the mom and I seemed to get along as well. I would like to continue to do things with them but I'm scared that the difference in our financial situations will be weird. I would be so embarrassed to invite them to our house, and I'm worried that once the weather gets warmer she will invite us to do expensive outings that we can't afford. I'm not really sure what to do.

Never be embarrassed of your home. If she is worth the friendship, she won't care. Knowing you, I am sure your house is clean and you would probably go overboard to make her and her kids feel welcomed. I wouldn't bring up money if that is the reason you have to turn down an outing but just suggest going to xyz on a different date to get the kids together. But I am also weird about talking about money, it makes me uncomfortable.

Hyaline · March 2014

Holly_1007 said:

I don't want to stArt a new thread so I'm putting this here. The boys and I had a play date with one of the boys in keagans class yesterday. The parents own a chain of car dealerships, I knew they were well off, but I underestimated it. Their house is huge, and gorgeous and worth over a million dollars. The kids all had fun (5 boys 5 and under) and the mom and I seemed to get along as well. I would like to continue to do things with them but I'm scared that the difference in our financial situations will be weird. I would be so embarrassed to invite them to our house, and I'm worried that once the weather gets warmer she will invite us to do expensive outings that we can't afford. I'm not really sure what to do.

a) She might be just as nervous as you. Being honest, not trying to be a douche--we're doing much better than we used to, financially, and are in a very lucky place right now compared to a lot of friends. Sometimes I worry that this could cause tension, but honestly? I know it's mostly in my own head. (Like I worry that "Ohmygod, K is going to think I'm a spoiled brat for splurging on this makeup..." or whatever. K never actually does think that.) If she's a nice person, she knows she's very lucky financially and isn't judging others based on their house or car, and is hoping you're not doing so, either.

b) Don't borrow trouble. If she asks you do something out of your price range, just decline politely and, if you want to, suggest a cheap or free alternative. Don't be ashamed of your budget constraints, and there will be no reason for it to be awkward. Just a simple, "Sorry, but we've only budgeted to go to the water park once this month, and we're going as a family next week--I'm so excited! Would you guys like to come over and run around the back yard instead?" gets the point across without making her feel poorly.

Flamingemu · March 2014

DH just planned a barbecue at our house for his entire 35+ member team. Can we fit 35+ people in our house, no, not really. Will they judge the furniture we have or the size of our house? Maybe, but none of them would ever say anything because they are friends with him.

I will have a clean house, good food, and many adult beverages to consume. Everyone will have fun and that is all that matters. No one else is willing to put up their home for a party.

@holly_1007 (are you even tagable) i hope what i am saying is that it doesn't matter. If it mattered to her, she wouldn't have accepted the first playdate. Have fun and don't be worried about it!

tinyhumantoe · March 2014

I had a margarita and a gazillion chips at lunch, and now I need a siesta!

melody921 · March 2014

tinyhumantoe said:

I had a margarita and a gazillion chips at lunch, and now I need a siesta!

I need a margarita.

tinyhumantoe · March 2014

melody921 said:

tinyhumantoe said:

I had a margarita and a gazillion chips at lunch, and now I need a siesta!

I need a margarita.

I have a full bar outside my office and an hour and a half commute. It's torture, haha.

Holly_1007 · March 2014

Thanks ladies, you made me feel much more comfortable about the situation

(and yes, I'm taggable )

LyndseylovesHugh · March 2014

hmp1 said:

Holly_1007 said:

I don't want to stArt a new thread so I'm putting this here. The boys and I had a play date with one of the boys in keagans class yesterday. The parents own a chain of car dealerships, I knew they were well off, but I underestimated it. Their house is huge, and gorgeous and worth over a million dollars. The kids all had fun (5 boys 5 and under) and the mom and I seemed to get along as well. I would like to continue to do things with them but I'm scared that the difference in our financial situations will be weird. I would be so embarrassed to invite them to our house, and I'm worried that once the weather gets warmer she will invite us to do expensive outings that we can't afford. I'm not really sure what to do.

Never be embarrassed of your home. If she is worth the friendship, she won't care. Knowing you, I am sure your house is clean and you would probably go overboard to make her and her kids feel welcomed. I wouldn't bring up money if that is the reason you have to turn down an outing but just suggest going to xyz on a different date to get the kids together. But I am also weird about talking about money, it makes me uncomfortable.

This. If she is a real friend, or someone who wants to grow a relationship with you, it won't matter. We have friends who have far bigger houses and a lot more money than us, and we have friends who don't have much at all. It doesn't matter either way. And I would venture to guess that most people who have a lot of money at one point felt like they didn't have as much as people around them, unless their money is family money.

MississippiCatfish · March 2014

We're having a Chipotle feast tonight at my in laws because SIL won some contest...and now after reading, I really want a margarita:/

MrsKipper · March 2014

I could go for some Chipotle right now, but we're trying not to eat out as much and I just bought a crap-ton of food at the store.

But the chicken bowl, though.