Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Calling my fellow Wednesday trigger bumpies :)
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
BFP #1: 1/4/13, EDD 9/8/13, Missed M/C confirmed 2/8/13, Misoprostol
2013: Three CPs w/ EDDs: EDD 2/10/14, EDD 3/24/14, EDD 6/24/14
IVF/ICSI #1 (Antagonist) - Jan 2014- 19R, 14M, 11F, 3 penguins (6BB, 4BB, 6BC) PGD tested- All Normal!
IVF/ICSI #2 (Antagonist) - Feb 2014 - 23R, 11M, 10F, 1 penguin (3BB) - Another Normal!
FET #1 - March 26, BFN
FET #2- Beta #1 (9dp5dt) -332, Beta #2 (11dp5dt) -1027, EDD 1/30/2015, Missed M/C, D&C 6/19/14
IVF/ICSI #3 (Lupron Down Reg) - Oct 2014 - 38R, 28M, 27F, 20 frozen on day 5, 16 normal penguins!!
FET#3 - February 1, 2015, Prep begins 1/13
All Welcome!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
BFP #1: 1/4/13, EDD 9/8/13, Missed M/C confirmed 2/8/13, Misoprostol
2013: Three CPs w/ EDDs: EDD 2/10/14, EDD 3/24/14, EDD 6/24/14
IVF/ICSI #1 (Antagonist) - Jan 2014- 19R, 14M, 11F, 3 penguins (6BB, 4BB, 6BC) PGD tested- All Normal!
IVF/ICSI #2 (Antagonist) - Feb 2014 - 23R, 11M, 10F, 1 penguin (3BB) - Another Normal!
FET #1 - March 26, BFN
FET #2- Beta #1 (9dp5dt) -332, Beta #2 (11dp5dt) -1027, EDD 1/30/2015, Missed M/C, D&C 6/19/14
IVF/ICSI #3 (Lupron Down Reg) - Oct 2014 - 38R, 28M, 27F, 20 frozen on day 5, 16 normal penguins!!
FET#3 - February 1, 2015, Prep begins 1/13
All Welcome!
@runcc37 - great plan to keep your mind off things. what's on the meal prep menu? Funny you should mention meal prep - I've been searching for a local kitchen that hosts meal prep sessions. We have Dinner Done but the sessions I was interested in were full this weekend.
I actually just got home from breakfast and stopped on the way home to watch the 1/2 marathoners. This weekend is a huge race weekend in my city
I've been up since 3:15 AM so I'm feeling a little worn right about now. I'm expecting my phone to ring within the hour and am totally stressed. Last cycle I only had one 8 cell, 2 - 4 cell and 1 - 2 cell so I'm concerned since I only have 3 to work with this time. I thought about having DH answer the phone and get the report instead of me - I feel like I'm going to vomit!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
I am so excited to be PUPO again! I've been pinning so much baby stuff on Pinterest. I kind of feel like my hopes are too high, but the positivity can't hurt!
@callalilly30 FX that you get lots of blasts from your 10!
BFP #1: 1/4/13, EDD 9/8/13, Missed M/C confirmed 2/8/13, Misoprostol
2013: Three CPs w/ EDDs: EDD 2/10/14, EDD 3/24/14, EDD 6/24/14
IVF/ICSI #1 (Antagonist) - Jan 2014- 19R, 14M, 11F, 3 penguins (6BB, 4BB, 6BC) PGD tested- All Normal!
IVF/ICSI #2 (Antagonist) - Feb 2014 - 23R, 11M, 10F, 1 penguin (3BB) - Another Normal!
FET #1 - March 26, BFN
FET #2- Beta #1 (9dp5dt) -332, Beta #2 (11dp5dt) -1027, EDD 1/30/2015, Missed M/C, D&C 6/19/14
IVF/ICSI #3 (Lupron Down Reg) - Oct 2014 - 38R, 28M, 27F, 20 frozen on day 5, 16 normal penguins!!
FET#3 - February 1, 2015, Prep begins 1/13
All Welcome!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
@HopefulSoul2, I can totally relate to the nervousness. It's so tempting to compare this cycle to the past... But that puts my mind in a very dark and hopeless place. Let's just trust that the lab is taking great care of them!! On the topic of our dinner prep, we are making lasagna, pulled pork, and a chicken & pasta dish.
@missmarypoppins, how irritating that the nurse wouldn't give you a cell count!!! Sigh. But if she said things are going as expected, then I can assume they are within the normal range (4-5 cells?!). Good luck with your transfer tomorrow & keep us updated!!
BFP #1: 1/4/13, EDD 9/8/13, Missed M/C confirmed 2/8/13, Misoprostol
2013: Three CPs w/ EDDs: EDD 2/10/14, EDD 3/24/14, EDD 6/24/14
IVF/ICSI #1 (Antagonist) - Jan 2014- 19R, 14M, 11F, 3 penguins (6BB, 4BB, 6BC) PGD tested- All Normal!
IVF/ICSI #2 (Antagonist) - Feb 2014 - 23R, 11M, 10F, 1 penguin (3BB) - Another Normal!
FET #1 - March 26, BFN
FET #2- Beta #1 (9dp5dt) -332, Beta #2 (11dp5dt) -1027, EDD 1/30/2015, Missed M/C, D&C 6/19/14
IVF/ICSI #3 (Lupron Down Reg) - Oct 2014 - 38R, 28M, 27F, 20 frozen on day 5, 16 normal penguins!!
FET#3 - February 1, 2015, Prep begins 1/13
All Welcome!
Nurse called - She said all 3 are embryos and they are right where they want them to be. I have:
1 - 3 cell B+
1 - 4 cell B+; and
1 - 4 cell C+.
I am to report to the surgery center at 8:15 for my transfer and she said they will transfer all three (because I'm 40).
I am relieved but still very anxious.
@runcc37 - that sounds delish!
@missmarypoppins - I'll be thinking about you on the way in tomorrow!
Fingers and toes and legs and arms crossed for everyone. Yep - I'm sitting here like a pretzel.
Good luck Hearts!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
@CallaLily30, I hope they are keeping each other good company & encouraging one another. Don't judge me... I live less than 10 minutes from the facility, and am out running errands. I am actually in the parking lot right now waving to our fabulous embryos. Am I the only one who misses my embryos like crazy? It's so weird that they are outside of my body! Oh, I hope they are growing strong in there!!!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
Thinking of you too @HopefulSoul2! They didn't give me Valium this time
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
Fx crossed for great fert report @leggyjeggy.
PUPO! I just got home from ET. RE said he transferred "three beautiful embryos". I had a 6, 7 and 8 cell all graded 1 & 2. He said that is great. Looking forward to everyone's update!
@gldnbearz - Thank you!
@runcc37 - Hope you are hanging in there. I'm thinking about you!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
We transferred one 8 cell grade one and one 8+cell (already compacting!!) grade one. I'm just giddy right now!
@RunCC37 I think I would take a personal day if I were you. That way you can process whatever news you get. I have everything crossed for you!
Amazeballs! @missmarypoppins. I bet you are over the moon!
@runcc37 - I can't think of a better reason to take a personal day
Keep up that positive attitude! Even thought I slip sometimes, I love to read your positive thoughts - they always seem to get me back on track.
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
If you can afford the personal day, I say take it. Not only will they give you a report, they'll talk about scheduling and more instructions that you may want to take the call on your own time.
@runcc37 - I'm with you on the bathroom breaks. I think I woke 5 times in the middle of the night to pee. No wonder I'm exhausted and eventually can't go back to sleep. I hope you feel better soon. Good luck with whatever you decide to do tomorrow. Fingers crossed you get great news!
Girls - I know I am way ahead of myself but yes, I am already thinking about it - Do you POAS? I did last time. Wondering if I should switch it up this cycle?
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
I'm really going to try and wait until the Saturday before beta (which is on a Monday) that way I have the weekend to process IF it's bad news.
What are your plans??!
@missmarypoppins - I don't have a plan yet. I was waiting on you girls to give me your input
Not sure what to do? My gut says POAS. I think if it is bad news, I would rather find out on my own time, in my own bathroom. Not sure I would make it through the day waiting on that phone call from the nurse without some sort of idea ahead of time. Last cycle, I POAS 2 days before beta and the morning of. Although I was crushed when I went to the clinic to give blood, at least I knew it was negative and wasn't in shock when she called in the afternoon. I sent you a PM.
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!
Of course, ymmv (your mileage may vary).
Whatever you decide to do, we will be here to listen.
Edited for typo.
@gldnbearz - I'm with you.
I'll probably start testing tonight -
Haha, just kidding. I'll probably test Wednesday before Friday beta (next week).
Fingers crossed for all!
f/k/a/ Kari3629
Me: 40/DH: 34
Unexplained IF
IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN
IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!
4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN
Everyone Welcome!