UO

kat8805 · February 2014

gertiebarden said:

Wow! That is a lot of thought put into newbies @gertiebarden.
@IBackBevo It seems to be something that generates a lot of angst. Repeatedly. Granted, I love reading drama, but it seems like it could be easily fixed.

You wouldn't have any drama to read if it weren't for us angry bitches. All I really saw was a whole lot of

AND a whole lotta

And all I'm saying is

Cause it's not even about this board, it's about internet interaction. No, scratch that, human interaction in general. Nice that you play the fly on the wall game, but I'd call a bitch out for being self-important no matter where it happens.

MamaLlama14 · February 2014

gertiebarden said:

There is an acquaintance on my FB page who has a new pyramid scheme every month. ... It's annoying enough to begin with since she changes her mind on her career path as often as I change my underwear...

:-S

Bahahaha... sewing these parts together = I change my underwear once a month. I'm sticking to it- it's funnier that way.

Xath · February 2014

MamaLlama14 said:

gertiebarden said:

There is an acquaintance on my FB page who has a new pyramid scheme every month. ... It's annoying enough to begin with since she changes her mind on her career path as often as I change my underwear...
:-S

Bahahaha... sewing these parts together = I change my underwear once a month. I'm sticking to it- it's funnier that way.

Stick to your guns!

Racheal2W · February 2014

gertiebarden said:
Attempt #2: If my tablet deletes everything again, I may shit a brick.

My UO: I don't really get the newb hate. I know that some people have been posting here since before the pee finished drying on the stick, and that's great. But I don't see how that connotes some sort of authority in what can/should be posted by others. This is a public internet forum. You want a place with a more discerning membership and content filter? Post on the BMB Facebook page.

My low-stress guide to reading May 14 (and other internet forums):

Someone posts an AW post and you don't know them/care about them? Ignore it!

Someone posts a question that's been asked/answered 50 times already? Ignore it! Or if I'm feeling nice and have free time, give them a friendly hello and a tutorial on how to use the search function.

Someone asks an absolutely moronic question? Ignore it! (return later to read the dramaz)

Someone starts a thread that's a duplicate or similar to another active thread? Ignore it! Or post a redirect link in the response.

I'll never understand why so many people find it necessary to take the time to tell someone how much of a waste of their time it is to respond to their post. Counterintuitive much? Or how people flame an AW post by telling them how they don't deserve the attention yet, thus giving them attention for the thing you don't want them to do... (This approach will get us all in trouble with our future toddlers)

It seems as though there are many people on this board with expectations of how other people should behave (especially new ones). But we don't make that terribly obvious by having a "New to May 14? Start Here!" sticky. Noobs aren't psychic; if they were, they probably wouldn't piss so many people off. Expecting that people will lurk long enough to get a sense of how this forum functions before ever posting is irrational in this age of instant internetz gratification. So instead what happens is that some new people get instantly flamed away for the offense of being new, when they might have been awesome new members of the community if we'd just given them more of a chance.

tl;dr Why all the newb hostility?

Thanks for this. As a "newb" I felt a little intimidated by all the "newb" talk. It really was one of the reasons I was hesitant to post anything after the first month or so.

I'm generally not one to join forums but I thought it was a great idea to bond with women who were pregnant with me. But once I seen the treatment other "newbs" received, I figured I would just lurk and guarantee I wouldn't get lashed out on.

So I guess my FIRST UO is: I don't understand the need for calling names or labeling, we are all here to learn from each other and offer support when needed or wanted. Why does it matter when you joined?

LoveIsAll25 · February 2014

I skimmed through the responses on open marriages. I am not trying to change anyone's view on it and I am sure my views on it wont change either. Everyone's marriage vows are different. Everyone's expectations from their partners and relationship are different.

Growing up I saw both monogamous and open relationships. In both of them some were happy and some weren't.

My grandmother was in an open marriage. My grandfather did not enjoy having sex and she did. They loved each other dearly and he did not want her to be unsatisfied sexually. So my grandmother had sex with another man once a month until he passed away. After he passed away my grandmother became depressed and never left her house. She never pursued another man or relationship.

PS. I would like to say that I have never witnessed an open relationship that involved big orgy's or random one night stands. It bother's me when people automatically assume that is the reason why people are in one.

ABColeslaw · February 2014

Lol. I was engaged for 4 years. We had a condo together, adopted a kid together, and other financial obligations that were more important than the party. I don't see how it affects anyone else, when someone's engagement is long. But I'm cool with being absurd, when I finally had the wedding I wanted and could afford, it was fantastic.

jenmbott · February 2014

How is it that in the mini section of this UO thread about rock and roll that the only two bands/artists to be brought up were Morrissey and U2?

here's my UO about rock and roll:

Rolling stones > the Beatles

Led Zeppelin>>> AC/DC

Tom Petty > Dave Matthews

The Who > The Eagles

Clapton is god.

FTR: Pink isn't a rock and roll star, she's a bad ass pop artist

spinsoffresonance · February 2014

I like guys with goaties (DH can only grow a patchy neck beard), I had a birthday party for DD's first bday (8 guests), I was engaged 1.5 years and DH and I had been together 10 years (got engaged in January and wanted a summer wedding), I don't understand why polygamy is illegal if everyone involved consents and is happy with it why not let it be, and I love U2... And I'm late to the party. Not making any friends today

busterbeagle · February 2014

jenmbott said:

Led Zeppelin>>> AC/DC
Tom Petty > Dave Matthews

If either of these is actually an UO, then I have lost all faith in humanity.

Racheal2W · February 2014

kitchencolors said:

Racheal2W said:

So I guess my FIRST UO is: I don't understand the need for calling names or labeling, we are all here to learn from each other and offer support when needed or wanted. Why does it matter when you joined?

Comments like this are why people have a problem with Newbs.

FTR, I don't have a problem with new people. I do have a problem with new people who walk into an established community and say "guise we're here because X, be like Y!!!!" I have a problem with regs who say things like this too though. Because this is a supportive community, but it's purpose is not to give unconditional support to any random person who walks in. You gotta give it to get it. And saying that you don't like the way it is isn't a good way to gain acceptance.

I don't disagree, from my comment, I don't see where I said anything about any of your gripes with "newbs"

jenb_99 · February 2014

I don't like being judged for my lack of offense over certain things. People are constantly trying to get me on board with this cause or that, or wanting me to express my outrage at what this person said or how that person was treated, and it annoys me. I have feelings and opinions, but I don't feel that announcing them publicly and beating everyone over the head with them is productive. Some people act like it's their life's calling to be offended over everything. I don't have the time or energy to cook up and hand out a fresh batch of righteous indignation every time I hear a rude word or witness an injustice.

Tnpeach · February 2014

Back to rock and roll... Kanye stated he is the number one rockstar in the world. The meme I wanted post was Ozzy and Slash showing Kanye their number one salute, as well as colorful language. Then I decided that I didn't know exactly what percentage of lovely ladies I would offend.

So google "ozzy slash Kanye meme" and laugh.

busterbeagle · February 2014

Tnpeach said:

Back to rock and roll... Kanye stated he is the number one rockstar in the world. The meme I wanted post was Ozzy and Slash showing Kanye their number one salute, as well as colorful language. Then I decided that I didn't know exactly what percentage of lovely ladies I would offend. So google "ozzy slash Kanye meme" and laugh.

I'm guessing you would offend roughly 0.0002%. Kanye wins king d-bag. And we didn't even have to vote!

CamrynnsMommy · February 2014

Tnpeach said:
Back to rock and roll... Kanye stated he is the number one rockstar in the world. The meme I wanted post was Ozzy and Slash showing Kanye their number one salute, as well as colorful language. Then I decided that I didn't know exactly what percentage of lovely ladies I would offend.

So google "ozzy slash Kanye meme" and laugh.

This? If so, we say "fuck you" on the reg!

kat8805 · February 2014

Racheal2W said:

kitchencolors said:

Racheal2W said:

So I guess my FIRST UO is: I don't understand the need for calling names or labeling, we are all here to learn from each other and offer support when needed or wanted. Why does it matter when you joined?

Comments like this are why people have a problem with Newbs.

FTR, I don't have a problem with new people. I do have a problem with new people who walk into an established community and say "guise we're here because X, be like Y!!!!" I have a problem with regs who say things like this too though. Because this is a supportive community, but it's purpose is not to give unconditional support to any random person who walks in. You gotta give it to get it. And saying that you don't like the way it is isn't a good way to gain acceptance.

I don't disagree, from my comment, I don't see where I said anything about any of your gripes with "newbs"

Problem is, ladies, I'm not talking about the new people who join in and give advice where they can, and support others. I'm talking about the "Oooo look at me" 's, the "I've only posted once, and it was something I could have easily Googled for an answer" 's, and the "I've only made one post, and I never bothered to respond to thank anyone at all for their feedback" 's.

New people are fantastic. Being a self-centered idiot doesn't go over well with anyone, especially on the internet. We are not a whorehouse, we are people, we need support too. We don't take kindly to being ridden hard and put up wet.

This board is listed under the Community tab on TB, it is a two way street. They suggest lurking so you get the general atmosphere before jumping in so that you DON'T get eaten alive. We aren't paid, we don't have to play friendly. We are honest, and direct. We want you to contribute where you can, everyone knows or has an opinion about something talked about here.

There are plenty of other pregnancy communities out there because not every community is made to fit every woman. Find a new one if you don't like it here,but I'm pretty fond of most of these ladies so I'm not going anywhere.

Xath · February 2014

CamrynnsMommy for rewarding my too lazy to google moment.

Mamazon2014 · February 2014

jenb_99 said:

I don't like being judged for my lack of offense over certain things. People are constantly trying to get me on board with this cause or that, or wanting me to express my outrage at what this person said or how that person was treated, and it annoys me. I have feelings and opinions, but I don't feel that announcing them publicly and beating everyone over the head with them is productive. Some people act like it's their life's calling to be offended over everything. I don't have the time or energy to cook up and hand out a fresh batch of righteous indignation every time I hear a rude word or witness an injustice.

I can agree to a point but there are certain rude words and injustices that need to be addressed and deserve a heavy batch of flaming.

Case in point has been the rampant inappropriate use of the "R" word on these forums as well as outright racist/ insensitive remarks. I feel like not addressing these type of things whether on boards or offline basically is permitting the behavior and essentially condoning the usage of that type of hate speech.

I think if everyone where to have a DGAF attitude, there would be a whole lot of ignorance and bigotry running even more rampant than there is now. Not saying you have to get spitting mad, but a bit of outrage can do the ignorant a bit of good.

ThereBeDragons · February 2014

There does come a point when piling on to someone who has angered the board is just... Counterproductive. The first half dozen comments might actually help to change the offensive behavior or at least enlighten the poster to how offensive it was. Everyone can learn. That's the time to get in there and participate.

The next 5+ pages of people popping in to simply bash the poster over the head for simply continuing to exist (or worse- telling them that even a sincere apology doesn't matter) only seeks to drive the person off the board. And all they've really learned at that point is that you can't change the past and if you've fucked up you'll be driven out of the community with pitchforks and gifs.

Which is a lesson in and of itself, I suppose. But a mob with pitchforks doesn't look very welcoming to the non-offensive-remark-making newbies who are now terrified of making a mistake and so don't contribute as much for fear of doing something stupid enough to anger the mob.

So I generally don't participate in threads once they've gone past the point of education and landed in angry mob territory. Nothing I contribute will make a worthwhile impact on the idiot and if I'm not making a worthwhile impact with my post- I have better things to be doing. Like finding other posts where I can actually be helpful and posting there.

Miles2Go · February 2014

I had a 3 year engagement.

Dd 1st birthday party was totally for her. She LOVES a gathering and had so much fun. I'll be throwing her a second birthday party because she loves parties and is obsessed with birthdays. She seriously bring me her blocks as birthday presents and brings me a make believe cake every day. Every damn day. And she sings me the song. You better believe her next party is for her and not me. Otherwise there is no way I'd be doing it at 39 weeks pregnant.

So.... Yeah. Come at me bro.

Mamazon2014 · February 2014

ThereBeDragons said:

There does come a point when piling on to someone who has angered the board is just... Counterproductive. The first half dozen comments might actually help to change the offensive behavior or at least enlighten the poster to how offensive it was. Everyone can learn. That's the time to get in there and participate.

The next 5+ pages of people popping in to simply bash the poster over the head for simply continuing to exist (or worse- telling them that even a sincere apology doesn't matter) only seeks to drive the person off the board. And all they've really learned at that point is that you can't change the past and if you've fucked up you'll be driven out of the community with pitchforks and gifs.

Which is a lesson in and of itself, I suppose. But a mob with pitchforks doesn't look very welcoming to the non-offensive-remark-making newbies who are now terrified of making a mistake and so don't contribute as much for fear of doing something stupid enough to anger the mob.

So I generally don't participate in threads once they've gone past the point of education and landed in angry mob territory. Nothing I contribute will make a worthwhile impact on the idiot and if I'm not making a worthwhile impact with my post- I have better things to be doing. Like finding other posts where I can actually be helpful and posting there.

agreed on the beating the dead horse to death. especially when a thread has died or been resolved and that one poster shows up and stirs up the pot again by either white knighting or going postal without reading the entire thread.

I will own up to, and admit that I have probably been guilty of participating in the dead horse beating on occasion and I am not proud of it. Sometimes the poster either hits a nerve or is especially dense/ignorant and things slip past my "just let it die" filter.

Empireceo · February 2014

No one hates newbs. We hate AWs and white knights. They also happen to usually fall into the newb category. I can think of a couple posters who just started posting in the last month or so that I find entertaining and interesting. I can think of a few posters who've been here from the beginning that I wouldn't mind seeing fall off a cliff.

w028jrb · February 2014

CamrynnsMommy said:

Back to rock and roll... Kanye stated he is the number one rockstar in the world. The meme I wanted post was Ozzy and Slash showing Kanye their number one salute, as well as colorful language. Then I decided that I didn't know exactly what percentage of lovely ladies I would offend. So google "ozzy slash Kanye meme" and laugh.
This? If so, we say "fuck you" on the reg!

I also googled this meme and along the way found this little gem. It doesn't really relate to anything on this thread, but I couldn't stop laughing for some reason...

reddroses · February 2014

ErBear1010 said:

reddroses said:

My UO is that although I have been very pushy with DS (3) with learning/mastering basic academic skills, I think I will be less likely in the future to push for him to attend college and choose a traditional career because I think it stifles creativity. I would love for him to be an innovative thinker and risk taker.

I'm sorry but this irks me. The kid is 3. What could you possibly push at this point. I have a degree in education (among others), I've worked in the public school system and in daycares. The kids who are "pushed", even at 5 are miserable. I've seen parents push kids this early and it doesn't end well. They need to be playing, exploring, and acting like a kid. If it results in learning-great. They shouldn't be mastering skills at this point. It doesn't make them "smarter" to know things early. My kid could read well by 4. Starting to read at 3. It actually hurt her while she was in daycare.

Let your kid be a kid and don't push him. Please.

I also work in a public school system and regularly test children who come in to kindergarten without basic skills and due to other circumstances, they never catch up. So I'll admit that my perception is skewed. Just because i reinforce what he has learned on a daily basis doesn't mean he isn't allowed to do other things. He is creative and has quite an imagination.

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