Stupid Questions Thread

PurpleSnapDragons · February 2014

margaretnekrosius said:

New dumb question: I've seen a lot of posts about leaking. I'm a FTM and 31 weeks. Is it ok that I have no leaking at all?

I didn't leak at all last time before baby. Though I did start to get some clearish yellow crusties (colostrum) a month or so before. No leaking this time yet either

PurpleSnapDragons · February 2014

CalinAZ said:

Thanks for starting this! So nice to have a place to ask questions without starting a new thread.

First question: Do onsies bother babies before their umbilical cord falls off? I've seen t-shirt style tops for newborns and am wondering if they aren't supposed to be wearing full onsies in the beginning?

Second: What do babies wear in the hospital, before they come home?

1) We prefered the kimono style tshirts because after a few weeks the stump started getting super gross and goopy (not infected though), and the stupid thing took 27 days to fall off. And we didn't want to get any of his cute clothes stained. So we found those shirts worked easily for that.
2) I really can't remember! We didn't bring clothes except for the ride home so I think baby was simply swaddled and in a diaper

kali55 · February 2014

Ashleypixie said:

Here's one. Does anyone have really bad contractions after sex? I'm only 30 weeks but she's already starting to drop so I'm not sure if that's it, but they're more intense than BH.

I do! They feel like period cramps but go away after about an hour

Cecilbear · February 2014

Oh, no! I'm sorry, @embear22! Are your hoping/planning for a natural birth? If not, I don't think you even have to worry about this one. Also, is it weird that I feel like we are natural pals because we both have "bear" in our names?

kali55 · February 2014

I never had the ring of fire with DS. I did, however, push for nearly 3 hours, so I had plenty of time to get my vagina ready to stretch, and my midwives were massaging the area with olive oil the entire time. If I had a choice, I think I would take the few moments of the ring of fire over 3 hours of pushing

baylorlinda · February 2014

Another stupid question...if the baby wears a kimono style t shirt, do you put pants on them or leave them in only the diaper and swaddle them? I imagine it would make changing them more cumbersome if you have to take off the pants and put them back on. Wouldn't it make more sense to just use a onesie?

bootsiebabe · February 2014

Not baby care related: I've searched for the thread a few weeks back about newborn photography but cannot find it for the life of me... can anyone help me out? I'm trying to get an idea of the average amount people spend on their newborn photography. The photographer I'm looking into, whose photos I love, charges $125 sitting and then her website says "average investment $750 - $1800." I have no idea if this is a great price or completely outrageous or pretty typical.

sdo_082989 · February 2014

baylorlinda said:
Another stupid question...if the baby wears a kimono style t shirt, do you put pants on them or leave them in only the diaper and swaddle them? I imagine it would make changing them more cumbersome if you have to take off the pants and put them back on. Wouldn't it make more sense to just use a onesie?

I didn't think pants were a big deal to take on and off. DD HATED to be swaddled so she just stayed in sleep n plays 90% of the time. I put a few outfits on her that I really loved and took pictures, we didn't take her in public until she was 3 months old so she pretty much just stayed in zip up sleepers. They are the easiest things for newborns IMO.

Our hospital has them in kimono style tops, no pants, no socks, and you aren't allowed to dress them in anything other than what the hospital provides the entire stay. I hated the top so we never used ours at home.

Jesster11 · February 2014

This is such a great thread!

Spinning off the ring of fire, STM - just how painful is the entire natural birth experience? Did it hurt but was managable, or did you feel like you were going to die?

(FTM planning on attempting a natural birth, but will take an epi if needed. I just feel more comfortable going into things knowing what to expect.)

Erikahenderson1 · February 2014

Anybody happen to know if you HAVE to go back to work after disability? -California - I know you do with maternity leave, but I think since you pay into disability you wouldn't have to? Because I don't plan to.

OP thank you for this by the way!

PurpleSnapDragons · February 2014

baylorlinda said:

Another stupid question...if the baby wears a kimono style t shirt, do you put pants on them or leave them in only the diaper and swaddle them? I imagine it would make changing them more cumbersome if you have to take off the pants and put them back on. Wouldn't it make more sense to just use a onesie?

Depends on the temperature. With my Texas May baby, he was in a shirt and diaper unless asleep and then he also was swaddled until the stump fell off to protect our clothes from gunk. Once it fell off, he pretty much lived in only a diaper or a diaper and swaddle blanket while sleeping.

PurpleSnapDragons · February 2014

bootsiebabe said:

Not baby care related: I've searched for the thread a few weeks back about newborn photography but cannot find it for the life of me... can anyone help me out? I'm trying to get an idea of the average amount people spend on their newborn photography. The photographer I'm looking into, whose photos I love, charges $125 sitting and then her website says "average investment $750 - $1800." I have no idea if this is a great price or completely outrageous or pretty typical.

Not sure about the thread but prices vary so MUCH by location. For instance, my mom charges $200 which gets you a 2 hour session, 20 edited images and the digital rights to ALL images. But we are in a small city in the midwest and she's newish. If getting the digital rights to the images matter to you, search for someone who gives them (some do, some don't). Good luck finding someone you love!

MrsEmilyS · February 2014

bootsiebabe said:

Not baby care related: I've searched for the thread a few weeks back about newborn photography but cannot find it for the life of me... can anyone help me out? I'm trying to get an idea of the average amount people spend on their newborn photography. The photographer I'm looking into, whose photos I love, charges $125 sitting and then her website says "average investment $750 - $1800." I have no idea if this is a great price or completely outrageous or pretty typical.

We are spending $175 and that includes a CD of all the edited pics. We do live in a LCOL though....same with DD (diff photographer) 3 years ago

strawberrytree · February 2014

bootsiebabe said:

Not baby care related: I've searched for the thread a few weeks back about newborn photography but cannot find it for the life of me... can anyone help me out? I'm trying to get an idea of the average amount people spend on their newborn photography. The photographer I'm looking into, whose photos I love, charges $125 sitting and then her website says "average investment $750 - $1800." I have no idea if this is a great price or completely outrageous or pretty typical.

@bootsiebabe That seems high for my area, but I'm sure it depends on where you are. NB photographers around here seem to charge 300-400$ dollars. I found a girl who is just starting out and wants to build her portfolio who is charging 150$ for the sitting fee and a CD with at least 10 images, so I think we may go with that as it's closer to our budget.

@jesster11 I'm sure others will have different experiences, but I remember telling my doula that it wasn't nearly as bad as I had built it up to be in my mind based on horror stories I'd heard/read. It's a different kind of pain than anything else I had experienced because there was a purpose to it, if that makes sense. At no point did I ever feel like I couldn't do it (although I do remember thinking JESUS CHRIST THIS IS TAKING FOREVER JUST COME OUT ALREADY after 2 hours of pushing). I had a pretty straightforward birth that was relatively quick, though, so someone who experienced 24 hours of back labour might have a very different response.

nikki912 · February 2014

@jesster11
Mind over matter! If you go into it thinking its going to suck, then yes it will. My natural birth was comfortable and manageable once in my birthing zone (hypnobirthing). Before that it took focus but was definitely manageable if I stayed on top of the waves. Concentrating on not getting overwhelmed or scared.

Overall it's no walk in the park but it doesn't have to be the screaming ladies you see on TV. It is what you make of it.

RedDawnsRevenge · February 2014

Ooopsbaby14 said:
Did anyone else NOT want to watch the delivery in the mirror? Mirror was offered and I lied and said I could see when I really couldn't. I didn't want to see what was happening with my parts! I don't feel I missed out on anything by not witnessing the actual entrance into the world. DH watch once and chose not to see it again. he jokes that he never should have seen what he saw.

I would have really thought a mirror would be cool. But I'm weird, I want DH to take a picture of my tailbone so I can take another in labour to compare for the purple line of dilation. DH is really weirded out by this idea and won't help.

Bees Everywhere · February 2014

RedDawnsRevenge said:

Did anyone else NOT want to watch the delivery in the mirror? Mirror was offered and I lied and said I could see when I really couldn't. I didn't want to see what was happening with my parts! I don't feel I missed out on anything by not witnessing the actual entrance into the world. DH watch once and chose not to see it again. he jokes that he never should have seen what he saw.
I would have really thought a mirror would be cool. But I'm weird, I want DH to take a picture of my tailbone so I can take another in labour to compare for the purple line of dilation. DH is really weirded out by this idea and won't help.

I have *never* heard of the purple line of dilation but that is SO fascinating. Wow that is weird. Don't google image search this phrase at work btw.

BiggerinRealLife · February 2014

This thread makes me so happy! Thanks for all the great advice!

janice9821 · February 2014

Mamamonzo said:

When you STM+ were about to be FTMs did you ever sit in the middle of all the shit you bought and cry because you didn't know what the hell to do with it all, and then think how the actual fuck am I going to care for a baby? What do I do with a baby?

I did this on Sunday. I feel much less alone now, thank you!

jennypenny1014 · February 2014

BiggerinRealLife said:
@Twirple is a fount of knowledge.

That's a clever trick @irisheyes7! I'll keep that in mind.

That "trick" is also quite handy for assplosions (severe blowouts) so you don't have to pull a poop covered article of clothing over baby's head and face.

Serenla · February 2014

Thanks BIRL.
For my CD mamas did you begin with sposies just to handle the first few sticky poos? How long did you use sposies?

jennypenny1014 · February 2014

thomas930 said:

Cecilbear said:

Love this thread, @BiggerinRealLife! My question is for all the natural birth mamas: I keep hearing about "the ring of fire" (ahh!). About how long does this last? Moments? Hours? Getting scared over here!

For me, the "ring of fire" was felt when delivering the baby's head (and maybe shoulders).

It's hard to remember because you really do forget about all the pain after.

This. It feels similar (I thought) to an "Indian Burn" (that stinging pain you feel when someone twists the skin on your forearm); it's from the skin being stretched...I only felt it when DS was crowning/head came out, then was fine til his shoulders came through. Once he was out, my vulva bounced back to normal and everything was fine.

sherks11 · February 2014

Stupid FTM question... Do you have to use nipple cream or can you just use lotion? I just use lotion now, but I could possibly see that as an issue when I actually start to BF.

jennypenny1014 · February 2014

Mamamonzo said:
When you STM+ were about to be FTMs did you ever sit in the middle of all the shit you bought and cry because you didn't know what the hell to do with it all, and then think how the actual fuck am I going to care for a baby? What do I do with a baby?

Yes. Then I cried cause I was so fucking excited that I was really truly about to have a baby.

I wavered a lot between excitement and sheer terror/self doubt. Don't worry though...there's a lot to think about, but it really does come naturally.

Twirple · February 2014

@Serenla we used sposies in the hospital and switched to cloth as soon as we got home, though I leaked like crazy and ended up using the extra newborn disposable diapers as breast pads. Nothing else would contain it.

thomas930 · February 2014

ahoefling said:

Stupid FTM question... Do you have to use nipple cream or can you just use lotion? I just use lotion now, but I could possibly see that as an issue when I actually start to BF.

@ahoefling

Nipple creams safe for baby to swallow so you don't have to wash or wipe it off before feeding. If you use lotion then you'll have to remember to wash it off before each feeding

jennypenny1014 · February 2014

kcp913 said:

thomas930 said:
@kcp913 Playtex drops ins aren't really meant for storage. You can freeze in the lasinoh storage bags and than thaw and pour into the drop ins. That's what I did and it really wasn't an issue.
I was afraid of this but figured that was the case. I was hoping to avoid having to buy both kinda of bags and the pumping into a bottle, dumping into a storage bag then dumping into a bottle liner. And also the cost of buying both lasinoh bags and liners.

My only suggestion to this, then, is to use a non-drop in style bottle. The upside is that you save money not having to buy bottle liners, downside is that you have to clean a whole bottle instead of just a nipple and collar... But it's not that bad.

jennypenny1014 · February 2014

Ashleypixie said:
Here's one. Does anyone have really bad contractions after sex? I'm only 30 weeks but she's already starting to drop so I'm not sure if that's it, but they're more intense than BH.

Yep. Just last night, as a matter of fact. Totally normal.

ksulli · February 2014

@ahoefling- I've always seen the special stuff advised because it's more soothing than normal lotion, and is fine for baby to ingest a bit when they nurse. I found lanolin a million times more healing than normal lotions.

thomas930 · February 2014

@Serenla We used disposables for the first 3 weeks. We waited until his stump fell off because even the newborn CD were a bit to high. We also waited until his circumcision healed.

jennypenny1014 · February 2014

Jesster11 said:
This is such a great thread!
Spinning off the ring of fire, STM - just how painful is the entire natural birth experience? Did it hurt but was managable, or did you feel like you were going to die?
(FTM planning on attempting a natural birth, but will take an epi if needed. I just feel more comfortable going into things knowing what to expect.)

You have such a flood of endorphins to help with pain management, that it hurts, a lot, but not so bad that you can't handle it. I have faith that you'll do just fine!

Eija3014 · February 2014

@ contractions after sex: I've had them the entire pregnancy and they are PAINFUL, not just uncomfortable. My OB isn't concerned at all - I'm just one of the lucky ones

I have them for about 10 mins after sex and they always go away. It's actually proving to be a really great way to practice breathing and keeping myself calm through the pain (for a short amount of time at least).

My dumb question: Is there any way I can prepare for breastfeeding aside from being informed and having as much support as possible? I mean, physically, can I do anything to get my boobs ready or is it just something that has to happen after the baby is born? I'm learning to hand express, I'm hooked up with my local LLL, and I'm researching all things BF but I feel like I could be doing more...

Lindsay808 · February 2014

Yay! I love this!

STM - did most of you have baby room-in with you or sent to the nursery? I keep thinking how exhausted I'm going to be but I kinda feel guilty if I just send baby away to the nursery.

thomas930 · February 2014

@Lindsay808 I roomed in with both and even with having a fairly long and traumatic birth with my first, it was never a problem because DH was there to help and babies are pretty sleepy for a while right after birth. I will add that for a healthy baby it wasn't even an option to send them to the nursery at either of the hospitals I gave birth at.

Twirple · February 2014

@lindsay808 my hospital doesn't have a nursery. Baby stays in the room with the parents if it is healthy enough to not be in the NICU. I loved having LO there with me. Yes, I was tired, but those first middle of the night snuggles are awesome!

GlynnCoco · February 2014

Ooooh, I have one?? Only I don't know if its stupid because I'm kind of scared of it a little bit??? I've heard of having babies that have acme and stuff and was wondering if you can do anything about it? Like use a cream or medicine or something?? I don't want my Babi to have scars on their face before they even go to Jr. High that would just be so so sad! Poor babies!!!

(

Ashleypixie · February 2014

Accutane! I've heard it's great for babies

AcaAwkward · February 2014

@glynncoco - you mean you don't have babi's first microdermabrasion scheduled already? Girl, you're behind. If those zits aren't extracted immediately, your babi will have acne until he or she is 32.

It's science.

BiggerinRealLife · February 2014

ColleenSwerb said:

Sometimes babies get acne, but it rarely scars. It's not like adult acne. But if they're ordering special traps to catch the road runner then you have a whole other set of problems.

/dead.

)

Tferr02 · February 2014

Our son roomed with us. I had a c section and the first night I remember very little. He slept pretty good, my DH cared for him and just woke me up to feed DS. However the second night was the worst night we have ever had in DS life and I wish we were given the choice of nursery. DS wasn't happy about anything and DH and I were so exhausted. I was stressing about him eating enough and I was not sleeping when I should have. If nursery is an option, don't feel guilty if you need to use it some! Becoming a parent is a huge adjustment and your body will have been through so much. The most important thing is to heal and recover so you can care for your baby when you get home.

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