Does life really fall into a black hole when you have a newborn? Will there be no time for love or life or showers or reading a book or having a chat with a friend? Is the first three months really the timeless smush everyone says it is?
Fell in Love: January 2003
Married: May 2006
Baby Girl Born: April 2014 If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, I will answer you:
Ok stupid question. LO is pretty low like around my belly button and moves around and kicks the usual, etc. For the past 2 nights I have had sharp pain (like bring you to tears pain) just under my left rib closer to my side (not centered). Is this normal? I know some moms have had pains but their babies are high or just hanging out in the rib cage, but this little girl is so low. I'm going to see my midwife on Thursday, but was just wondering others thoughts.
Does life really fall into a black hole when you have a newborn? Will there be no time for love or life or showers or reading a book or having a chat with a friend? Is the first three months really the timeless smush everyone says it is?
Honestly, I don't think so. Were we tired? Yes. Were we stressed out? Yes, but I was expecting MUCH worse. I still showered daily, I read while pumping, I had hot meals.
I find that I eat more meals cold and sometimes have to skip a shower more now than I did with a newborn. By the time DD is done asking for 50 things and scarfing her food before I get sat down, my food will be cold and then she gets out of her chair and wants to eat my food. I think a newborn is much easier than a demanding, impatient, independant, toddler that cannot be trusted to be alone for more than 5 seconds.
Does life really fall into a black hole when you have a newborn? Will there be no time for love or life or showers or reading a book or having a chat with a friend? Is the first three months really the timeless smush everyone says it is?
No! I'm a pretty relaxed mama, but I walked a 5K race and attended a house party with 30 people when DS was only 7 days old. He went with me. Newborns sleep a LOT. I would put DS in his crib and take a shower. We would put him in the swing and eat a hot dinner together. You will have a lot of time to read. You can snuggle a baby and read, or put the baby in a carrier and make a phone call. DH, DS and I went out for sushi on our way home from the hospital. There is no reason that you have to give up your life for your kids. Even now, if I want to go to the bathroom alone, I lock the door. DS will try to come in, but if he can't, he'll go play on his own.
Chase was born 4/23/2011
Carlene was born 4/18/2014 A14 siggy challenge: Junk Food
Can I get pregnant, while I'm pregnant, during buttsex? :-??
I kid.. I just don't have any questions at the moment, but wanted to play in the new room.
Only if you're still having a monthly period from your butt.
Chase was born 4/23/2011
Carlene was born 4/18/2014 A14 siggy challenge: Junk Food
Did anyone else NOT want to watch the delivery in the mirror? Mirror was offered and I lied and said I could see when I really couldn't. I didn't want to see what was happening with my parts! I don't feel I missed out on anything by not witnessing the actual entrance into the world. DH watch once and chose not to see it again. he jokes that he never should have seen what he saw.
I didn't want a mirror last time and don't this time either. I don't want to see what's happening. I think that would make me focus on the pain more than not seeing. The nurse kept telling me to look down while DD was coming out and I kept saying no. I finally yelled "shut up!" I really don't want to look, I just want to be in my own zone.
I think I lost part of my mucus plug last night. TMI I found a sorta booger colored blob with a dark dark red spot in my underwear. It was small less than dime sized. I'm 32 weeks is it too soon for this/is it something I need to bring up at my appointment this week? I feel silly asking if it's just normal third trimester discharge.
And 2 (this one makes me feel really silly) is there some sort of guide for dressing a newborn? I live in New England and April weather can be snow or it can be 50+. I feel totally unprepared to properly dress LO so she's not really warm or freezing.
I think I lost part of my mucus plug last night. TMI I found a sorta booger colored blob with a dark dark red spot in my underwear. It was small less than dime sized. I'm 32 weeks is it too soon for this/is it something I need to bring up at my appointment this week? I feel silly asking if it's just normal third trimester discharge.
And 2 (this one makes me feel really silly) is there some sort of guide for dressing a newborn? I live in New England and April weather can be snow or it can be 50+. I feel totally unprepared to properly dress LO so she's not really warm or freezing.
1. mucus plugs can regenerate so I wouldn't worry. It's not really a sign of labor.
2. Dress baby for the weather for the day. Layers are nice since you can take some off if it's too warm and have a blanket with you if you think you might need a little more coverage.
~Missed MC at 8 weeks. D&C at 12 weeks on 4/17/13~
Where's all the short nipple breast feeders? No seriously! I have extremely "short" nipples which is why I never breast feed before because neither of my boys would latch on. I've tried everything! Anyway, I've been seeking out new ideas or methods. I'd prefer not pumping. So what do you do to get your LO too latch? Or what's your plan if LO won't latch?
Does life really fall into a black hole when you have a newborn? Will there be no time for love or life or showers or reading a book or having a chat with a friend? Is the first three months really the timeless smush everyone says it is?
Def not. In the first 3 months we flew across country for a wedding, I began training for my first 5k at Disney, I flew across country alone with DS, and I visited my family and had my gallbladder taken out. I read a lot, still showered and cooked meals. I think this time might be harder having a 2 year old and an infant?
Where's all the short nipple breast feeders? No seriously! I have extremely "short" nipples which is why I never breast feed before because neither of my boys would latch on. I've tried everything! Anyway, I've been seeking out new ideas or methods. I'd prefer not pumping. So what do you do to get your LO too latch? Or what's your plan if LO won't latch?
Does life really fall into a black hole when you have a newborn? Will there be no time for love or life or showers or reading a book or having a chat with a friend? Is the first three months really the timeless smush everyone says it is?
I think it depends on your personality and also the baby's temperament. 3 months does seem to be kind of a magic number where things start to really click and regulate (ex: by 3 mo, BFing wasn't hurting any more and DD could nurse in 20-30 min rather than take 40-50; an obvious napping and eating schedule was apparent; she wasn't screaming for several hours every evening; etc), but you can still have a life before then if you want to!
DD had a very obvious "witching hour" as a NB, and it lasted from about 5-8pm. Kinda put the kebash on dinners out or even a lot of cooking (which I love to do). So DH and I did lunch dates with her instead. We also did a charity walk, traveled on 3 occasions to visit family and attend an engagement party, and had out of town friends stay over all before she was 3 mo.
Honestly, as a FTM, doing things (especially by yourself) with a NB seems really overwhelming (what if they scream and people judge me! I have to pack so much stuff!), but they're actually rather easy and portable. Just get out and do things!
Does life really fall into a black hole when you have a newborn? Will there be no time for love or life or showers or reading a book or having a chat with a friend? Is the first three months really the timeless smush everyone says it is?
In all honesty there was a point where I missed the newborn stage. Yes, you're exhausted and some days you feel like you will lose your mind. The real hard part for me was when they became mobile. My DS started crawling around 6 months And was taking steps at 7.5 I was happy my DS was a smart little cookie and figuring things out so fast, but at the same time I wished for the days of laying him down, and he would stay put for 2 seconds so I could pee.
Where's all the short nipple breast feeders? No seriously!
I have extremely "short" nipples which is why I never breast feed before because neither of my boys would latch on. I've tried everything!
Anyway, I've been seeking out new ideas or methods. I'd prefer not pumping. So what do you do to get your LO too latch? Or what's your plan if LO won't latch?
I know you don't want to pump but maybe you could "prime" your nips for nursing by pumping for a minute? An electric pump esp sort of sucks everything out towards it and it might help create something for them to latch onto if that's the problem. I don't actually have experience with that I'm just guessing it's something to try.
If you are looking for a more natural solution for the nipple cream / itching try some coconut oil ! Works great and has many other benefits ! I will be using it for many things including diaper cream
@Ashleyahann This exactly! This is DS#3 and DH doesn't seem to understand my "rush" to get the nursery together. Ahhhhh!! I have so many baby things to unpack, wash, and set up but I can't do any of that until the nursery is done. I'm beginning to panic a little. I've been getting tired more lately and know things are just going to get more complicated as we approach D-day. Yikes! So, I TOTALLY feel your pain! All I need him to do is paint really, I can pretty much do the rest on my own.
Does life really fall into a black hole when you have a newborn? Will there be no time for love or life or showers or reading a book or having a chat with a friend? Is the first three months really the timeless smush everyone says it is?
You know, the first month was a blur, I was recovering from a c/s, DH and I had a cold and DS caught it so we took him to dr and even ER that first month, then he and I got thrush. We had a tough first month, but as far as sleep goes- newborns sleep a lot and you can sleep when they do. You can put him in a rocker in the bathroom while you shower etc. And I would put him in a ring sling or something and vacuum or clean and he would just chill out or sleep.
It's really easy to go out to eat with a newborn. Seriously they mostly sleep anyway. We quickly found the family friendly places.
One of the hard things though was feeling like I personally couldn't be gone from him since I was the one nursing him. If I pumped a bottle it was like "this buys me an hour of freedom!" Breast milk is like liquid gold at that point. I think I was terrified because I didn't know how long that would last but it was just in the beginning.
Where's all the short nipple breast feeders? No seriously! I have extremely "short" nipples which is why I never breast feed before because neither of my boys would latch on. I've tried everything! Anyway, I've been seeking out new ideas or methods. I'd prefer not pumping. So what do you do to get your LO too latch? Or what's your plan if LO won't latch?
Did you ever try a nipple shield?
nipple shield can fix the problem but I don't suggest it because then baby expects a long nipple and you will never beagle to supply that so it's hard to wean off it. I have almost flat nipples. They did draw out a bit after nursing. It was hard, and i pumped after each session for the first week, and worked on my latch over and over again. And it was never a perfect fit. But we got it to work. I spent a lot of time with a lactation consultant who helped me try different positions. Leaning back, crossed and lying over my body worked the best.
Ah ha! GTK! A nipple shield was invaluable to us for a couple of months (I know all LCs would go apeshit over the fact that we used it that long, but DD basically weaned herself off of it), but short/flat nipples wasn't the issue (just a super lazy and shallow latcher).
For CD, we used disposables for the first 6 weeks (it took me that long to get into the groove and not feel too overwhelmed) and then we did CD. This time around we'll start CD after all the meconium is cleared (that stuff is like tar) and the diapers fit her because I didn't buy NB sizes as they outgrow them too fast anyways.
A good rule of thumb for dressing babies is to dress them like you if you're comfortable warm plus one layer. Feel the back of their neck...if it's cold then baby is probably cold. A lot of it is trial and error until you learn how much clothing to put on LO.
DS roomed in with us for our entire stay, but our hospital doesn't take them to the nursery unless they're having problems. Honestly, I think it helped get us into the parenting groove before we had to go do it at home all alone. Newborns sleep all the time too.
Baby Girl: 2014/4/25 K: Born 2012/02/20
BFP 12/31/2010; missed m/c @ 6w1d, medical m/c(Misoprostol)@ 13w2d. My Blog
My life did not fall into a black hole at all. Even after having a c-section. DD and I went to lunch and the mall 10 days after birth. We took her to lots of different places. She slept a ton. It was so easy to put her in the car seat and just go, and snap it in the stroller when we went somewhere that required walking. We even moved when she was 6 weeks old. Easiest move ever.
I sent her to the nursery and will do the same this time around. I was exhausted from labor/c-section and recovery. She wasn't there constantly, but it was helpful when needed.
Not baby care related: I've searched for the thread a few weeks back about newborn photography but cannot find it for the life of me... can anyone help me out? I'm trying to get an idea of the average amount people spend on their newborn photography. The photographer I'm looking into, whose photos I love, charges $125 sitting and then her website says "average investment $750 - $1800." I have no idea if this is a great price or completely outrageous or pretty typical.
@bootsiebabe it really depends. It sounds like the photog you mentioned is a product based photographer as opposed to a service based photographer. Meaning they structure their pricing to make most of their profit off of clients purchasing products like prints, canvases, albums, etc. Service based photographers structure pricing in a way that charges heavily for their time + talent instead of for the products they provide. Typically service based photographers are more likely to include digital files in their packages. I prefer service based photogs or photogs who use a "shoot + share" business model (digital image delivery) because I have the digital files to share on social media and I can use them when I make my annual Photobook. I'm a photographer and if you want I can connect in my network and find a few photographers in your area who are shoot + share/service-based, for you to check out...
1. What do contractions feel like? BH or real ones..
2. Is it safe to just put a changing pad on a dresser? DH is afraid it is not safe but I don't see the need to buy an actual changing table..
We've had a changing pad on our dresser for 2 years now and DS has never fallen off. We also did not nail that changing pad down on the dresser either. As long as it doesn't slip all over and has some grip on the bottom, it'll be fine. My mom threw a fit about this one, but now she's completely fine with it.
Baby Girl: 2014/4/25 K: Born 2012/02/20
BFP 12/31/2010; missed m/c @ 6w1d, medical m/c(Misoprostol)@ 13w2d. My Blog
1. What do contractions feel like? BH or real ones..
2. Is it safe to just put a changing pad on a dresser? DH is afraid it is not safe but I don't see the need to buy an actual changing table..
I really don't even remember what contractions felt like. Awkward. Lol!
It's definitely safe to just put a changing pad on top of a dresser. That's what we did, and what lots of other people do too. The pad will have a safety strap attached to the bottom of it, and you can screw that into the back of the dresser so that it can't just fall off the top of the dresser.
The changing pad we have has 2 safety straps but I think they are meant to be screwed in to a changing table because the straps are not long enough to screw on to the back of our dresser. That is primarily why I started questioning myself since initially I also thought it was nbd.
But I am glad to know that more than one person thinks it is safe! Thank you all.
1. What do contractions feel like? BH or real ones..
2. Is it safe to just put a changing pad on a dresser? DH is afraid it is not safe but I don't see the need to buy an actual changing table..
1. I don't think I ever had BH the first time around. Real ones made me feel crappy the first day and would be intense and hard to breath through when I was in active labor.
2. We always changed DD on the floor, bed, couch etc... We never got a changing table.
1. What do contractions feel like? BH or real ones..
2. Is it safe to just put a changing pad on a dresser? DH is afraid it is not safe but I don't see the need to buy an actual changing table..
1. I don't think I ever had BH the first time around. Real ones made me feel crappy the first day and would be intense and hard to breath through when I was in active labor.
2. We always changed DD on the floor, bed, couch etc... We never got a changing table.
This. I never used a changing table. Always used a changing mat on the floor or bed.
Stupid FTM question... Do you have to use nipple cream or can you just use lotion? I just use lotion now, but I could possibly see that as an issue when I actually start to BF.
If you use a cream like lanolin, it's safe for baby to consume. You would want to be very careful about lotion on nipples when bf
STM - did most of you have baby room-in with you or sent to the nursery? I keep thinking how exhausted I'm going to be but I kinda feel guilty if I just send baby away to the nursery.
We transitioned baby to his crib full time around 8 weeks old? We all slept better then. DH especially gets awaken easily when baby makes noises and then had a hard time falling back to sleep. My LO also slept 6 hour stretches by 8 weeks
Ooooh, I have one?? Only I don't know if its stupid because I'm kind of scared of it a little bit??? I've heard of having babies that have acme and stuff and was wondering if you can do anything about it? Like use a cream or medicine or something??I don't want my Babi to have scars on their face before they even go to Jr. High that would just be so so sad! Poor babies!!! ( ( ( ( ( (
My baby had baby acne but it wasn't the horrific kind you get in high school that scars or anything.
Where's all the short nipple breast feeders? No seriously!
I have extremely "short" nipples which is why I never breast feed before because neither of my boys would latch on. I've tried everything!
Anyway, I've been seeking out new ideas or methods. I'd prefer not pumping. So what do you do to get your LO too latch? Or what's your plan if LO won't latch?
A nipple shield. It's best to avoid if you don't need it. But if you have flat or inverted nipples it can be a life saver!! It's the ONLY way my LO could latch no matter how much we worked with a LC. They are cheap and easy to use. Also pumping before nursing to draw out the nipple or rolling the nipple in your hand a bit can help. Pumping really isn't a big deal so don't be afraid to give it a try if it will help get started.
mamrotu73 said:I thought the straps on the changing pads were meant to go around the baby. Mine has a buckle even. I thought that would be a PITA to do every time though, too.
The strap goes to the table/dresser?
Mine has the strap around the middle with a buckle that is meant to go around the baby (at least that's what the picture told me lol) and then it has two smaller straps hanging down one side and I think those are the ones that are meant to be screwed in.
Sorry, I know this is huge.. But you can see all three straps. Also, the changing pad I have, my straps don't hang from the bottom like this one but rather from the top so I can't screw it in to my dresser.
Sorry, I know this is huge.. But you can see all three straps. Also, the changing pad I have, my straps don't hang from the bottom like this one but rather from the top so I can't screw it in to my dresser.
There's no top or bottom, up or down, with a changing pad. Just turn it 180 so those smaller straps are at the back and screw it in. The buckle is meant to go around the baby, yes. But I never once actually did that.
You were absolutely right..I don't know what I was thinking, I could definitely screw those straps in to the dresser.
This thread is awesome! I have 2 -
I think I lost part of my mucus plug last night. TMI I found a sorta booger colored blob with a dark dark red spot in my underwear. It was small less than dime sized. I'm 32 weeks is it too soon for this/is it something I need to bring up at my appointment this week? I feel silly asking if it's just normal third trimester discharge.
And 2 (this one makes me feel really silly) is there some sort of guide for dressing a newborn? I live in New England and April weather can be snow or it can be 50+. I feel totally unprepared to properly dress LO so she's not really warm or freezing.
1. mucus plugs can regenerate so I wouldn't worry. It's not really a sign of labor.
2. Dress baby for the weather for the day. Layers are nice since you can take some off if it's too warm and have a blanket with you if you think you might need a little more coverage.
Just adding in about @ashleyahann 's question. Baby needs one more layer than an adult does. For example, if you're wearing a shirt and a jacket then baby needs a shirt, jacket and blanket. Same rule works at night. People tend to overbundle. Also, a hat is really important when it's cold since they don't have hair and their head is a lot of their surface area.
BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8 BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
Where's all the short nipple breast feeders? No seriously!
I have extremely "short" nipples which is why I never breast feed before because neither of my boys would latch on. I've tried everything!
Anyway, I've been seeking out new ideas or methods. I'd prefer not pumping. So what do you do to get your LO too latch? Or what's your plan if LO won't latch?
Did you ever try a nipple shield?
nipple shield can fix the problem but I don't suggest it because then baby expects a long nipple and you will never beagle to supply that so it's hard to wean off it. I have almost flat nipples. They did draw out a bit after nursing. It was hard, and i pumped after each session for the first week, and worked on my latch over and over again. And it was never a perfect fit. But we got it to work. I spent a lot of time with a lactation consultant who helped me try different positions. Leaning back, crossed and lying over my body worked the best.
Just to offer another perspective, I have small nipples and a shield was key to getting my preemie to latch and nurse. Using the shield and pumping drew my nipples out and then we kept trying to latch without the shield. One day he did it and we never looked back. People said he'd get "dependant" on the shield and it would hurt my supply, neither were true for us, so I think it's worth a try if nothing else seems to be working.
Making a good "boob sandwich" also helps give them a target to latch on to. You squeeze the sides of your breast together (fingers behind the areola) if you're nursing in cross cradle or the top and bottom if you're in football- just like you're going to feed them a sandwich.
BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8 BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
Re: Stupid Questions Thread
Baby Girl Born: April 2014
If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, I will answer you:
I find that I eat more meals cold and sometimes have to skip a shower more now than I did with a newborn. By the time DD is done asking for 50 things and scarfing her food before I get sat down, my food will be cold and then she gets out of her chair and wants to eat my food. I think a newborn is much easier than a demanding, impatient, independant, toddler that cannot be trusted to be alone for more than 5 seconds.
April '14 Siggy Challenge:
@sdo_082988 Your story reminds me of the mom in A Christmas Story.
Baby Girl Born: April 2014
If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, I will answer you:
I kid.. I just don't have any questions at the moment, but wanted to play in the new room.
I think I lost part of my mucus plug last night. TMI I found a sorta booger colored blob with a dark dark red spot in my underwear. It was small less than dime sized. I'm 32 weeks is it too soon for this/is it something I need to bring up at my appointment this week? I feel silly asking if it's just normal third trimester discharge.
And 2 (this one makes me feel really silly) is there some sort of guide for dressing a newborn? I live in New England and April weather can be snow or it can be 50+. I feel totally unprepared to properly dress LO so she's not really warm or freezing.
2. Dress baby for the weather for the day. Layers are nice since you can take some off if it's too warm and have a blanket with you if you think you might need a little more coverage.
I have extremely "short" nipples which is why I never breast feed before because neither of my boys would latch on. I've tried everything!
Anyway, I've been seeking out new ideas or methods. I'd prefer not pumping. So what do you do to get your LO too latch? Or what's your plan if LO won't latch?
DD had a very obvious "witching hour" as a NB, and it lasted from about 5-8pm. Kinda put the kebash on dinners out or even a lot of cooking (which I love to do). So DH and I did lunch dates with her instead. We also did a charity walk, traveled on 3 occasions to visit family and attend an engagement party, and had out of town friends stay over all before she was 3 mo.
Honestly, as a FTM, doing things (especially by yourself) with a NB seems really overwhelming (what if they scream and people judge me! I have to pack so much stuff!), but they're actually rather easy and portable. Just get out and do things!
@Ashleyahann This exactly! This is DS#3 and DH doesn't seem to understand my "rush" to get the nursery together. Ahhhhh!! I have so many baby things to unpack, wash, and set up but I can't do any of that until the nursery is done. I'm beginning to panic a little. I've been getting tired more lately and know things are just going to get more complicated as we approach D-day. Yikes! So, I TOTALLY feel your pain! All I need him to do is paint really, I can pretty much do the rest on my own.
nipple shield can fix the problem but I don't suggest it because then baby expects a long nipple and you will never beagle to supply that so it's hard to wean off it. I have almost flat nipples. They did draw out a bit after nursing. It was hard, and i pumped after each session for the first week, and worked on my latch over and over again. And it was never a perfect fit. But we got it to work. I spent a lot of time with a lactation consultant who helped me try different positions. Leaning back, crossed and lying over my body worked the best.
Ah ha! GTK! A nipple shield was invaluable to us for a couple of months (I know all LCs would go apeshit over the fact that we used it that long, but DD basically weaned herself off of it), but short/flat nipples wasn't the issue (just a super lazy and shallow latcher).
I sent her to the nursery and will do the same this time around. I was exhausted from labor/c-section and recovery. She wasn't there constantly, but it was helpful when needed.
I'm a photographer and if you want I can connect in my network and find a few photographers in your area who are shoot + share/service-based, for you to check out...
But I am glad to know that more than one person thinks it is safe! Thank you all.
2. We always changed DD on the floor, bed, couch etc... We never got a changing table.
2. We always changed DD on the floor, bed, couch etc... We never got a changing table.
This. I never used a changing table. Always used a changing mat on the floor or bed.
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
Making a good "boob sandwich" also helps give them a target to latch on to. You squeeze the sides of your breast together (fingers behind the areola) if you're nursing in cross cradle or the top and bottom if you're in football- just like you're going to feed them a sandwich.
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.