FFFC

busterbeagle · January 2014

This is totally not a confession, but I just almost experienced a pregnant lady nightmare. We ran out of toilet paper...like all the way out. I frantically searched the basement and found none. I thought I was going to have to borrow some of DD's wipes because there was no way I could make it to the store without having an epic accident. And then I found some shoved way back in a cabinet under the stairs. Phew.

big0700109 · January 2014

I've never really been able to think of a good one but I'll give it a try.

Last night DH came home from his regular job with every intention of finishing grading the computer programs for the class the volunteers with. It had been awhile and I was chompin at the bit. I managed to convince him to spend the rest of the night in bed with me and put off grading for another night. Now to just figure out how to gain the same high from pre-preg even though this bump is in the way.

I feel kinda bad that the students have to wait a little longer for their assignments... but not really.
#Sorrynotsorry

Empireceo · January 2014

danabsd said:

Jenvadnais89 said:

*snip*

and hey hey no shaming my husband has good reasons for no coffee... i drink too much soda lol... my caffeine intake is at its limits.. plus if i had to choose one ill choose the soda i guess! Though ive been craving a mocha lately.

It's one thing if it's your choice not to drink coffee because you drink to much mountain dew. But he won't let you. Oh, hellz no.
And it's not him I choose to shame. It's you, for seriously saying my husband won't let me and being fine with it.

For reals, yo. I'm a pretty old-fashioned lady in a lot of respects, but if my husband ever even insinuated that I "wasn't allowed" to drink coffee, shower by myself, cut my hair or whatever I would laugh in his face.

FFFC: People who use "LOL" in place of/as frequently as punctuation make me feel like this:

FFFC: Most of my emotions can be summed up in Steve Buscemi gifs.

RachelCA29 · January 2014

busterbeagle said:

This is totally not a confession, but I just almost experienced a pregnant lady nightmare. We ran out of toilet paper...like all the way out. I frantically searched the basement and found none. I thought I was going to have to borrow some of DD's wipes because there was no way I could make it to the store without having an epic accident. And then I found some shoved way back in a cabinet under the stairs. Phew.

I have an "emergency stash" of TP just in case this ever happens. I HATE the idea of running low on TP, so we had this big package of eco friendly stuff that was really thing and rough, I hated it, so I shoved the remaining 10 rolls in the back of the linen closet as a "just in case" stash. It's terrible feeling, but it's something in case we run out of Cottonelle.

kat8805 · January 2014

Sorry @Miles2Go all I think of when you mention your kid is old enough to get out of bed by herself, wander to your room and ask to nurse is this

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dspjwGhrVeU

Not judging... Its just all I think of lol

@MrsKTen I'm the one guilty of enticing you all with the mass quantities of DQ I eat. I have no metabolism.... And have gained a ton of weight, but everything health wise has been good, so I'm not about to stress over it for the next 84 days.

reneewhite90 · January 2014

Empireceo said:

danabsd said:

Jenvadnais89 said:

*snip*
and hey hey no shaming my husband has good reasons for no coffee... i drink too much soda lol... my caffeine intake is at its limits.. plus if i had to choose one ill choose the soda i guess! Though ive been craving a mocha lately.

It's one thing if it's your choice not to drink coffee because you drink to much mountain dew. But he won't let you. Oh, hellz no.

And it's not him I choose to shame. It's you, for seriously saying my husband won't let me and being fine with it.

For reals, yo. I'm a pretty old-fashioned lady in a lot of respects, but if my husband ever even insinuated that I "wasn't allowed" to drink coffee, shower by myself, cut my hair or whatever I would laugh in his face.

FFFC: People who use "LOL" in place of/as frequently as punctuation make me feel like this:

FFFC: Most of my emotions can be summed up in Steve
Buscemi gifs.

There is absolutely nothing wrong about this.

Edit: posted too early

typeset · January 2014

I just knelt in dog vomit and sponged it out of my jeans rather than changing.

Miles2Go · January 2014

kat8805 said:

Sorry @Miles2Go all I think of when you mention your kid is old enough to get out of bed by herself, wander to your room and ask to nurse is this

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dspjwGhrVeU

Not judging... Its just all I think of lol

@MrsKTen I'm the one guilty of enticing you all with the mass quantities of DQ I eat. I have no metabolism.... And have gained a ton of weight, but everything health wise has been good, so I'm not about to stress over it for the next 84 days.

Yeah, she's not even 2 yet...

kat8805 · January 2014

Miles2Go said:

kat8805 said:

Sorry @Miles2Go all I think of when you mention your kid is old enough to get out of bed by herself, wander to your room and ask to nurse is this

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dspjwGhrVeU

Not judging... Its just all I think of lol

@MrsKTen I'm the one guilty of enticing you all with the mass quantities of DQ I eat. I have no metabolism.... And have gained a ton of weight, but everything health wise has been good, so I'm not about to stress over it for the next 84 days.

Yeah, she's not even 2 yet...

I know! Its not a stab at you, your DD, or BFing. My aunt told the story of when she decided it was time to stop BFing her DS, and that was when he was able to say clearly "other side". She joked about how freaked out it made her. So when I read of BFing a child old enough to verbalize their needs, I go back to my aunts freaked out face. And the Grown Ups clip covered it.

Empireceo · January 2014

typeset said:

I just knelt in dog vomit and sponged it out of my jeans rather than changing.

Been there, sister.

RachelCA29 · January 2014

typeset said:

I just knelt in dog vomit and sponged it out of my jeans rather than changing.

If the pants come clean, why bother?

RachelCA29 · January 2014

I actually have a FFFC this week!

I was planning to go in to a lab to get my Glucose/Glucola test done this morning, but on the way home from work yesterday (around 1 pm) I stopped at McDonald's for a Big Mac meal with a Coke. I ate the meal at home and then hid the garbage under the empty dog food bag in the pail, so my Husband wouldn't see it (out of shame).

When he asked where I was going to do my blood tests today I lied and told him I had a meeting at work this morning so I could go in late ...

I don't feel bad about putting the test off, since my OB just told me to do it sometime before 28 weeks, but I want to eat really healthy the day before/morning of to make sure I pass the 1 hour one. I don't know why I lied about it today though ...

mrstengallonhat1 · January 2014

@kat8805, I love all things DQ, so I don't blame you!

whse13kittens · January 2014

I don't know if this is a FFFC or an UO or a WTF Friday version, but here you go:

Child support is meant to be used for the child. That means rent (roof over their head), groceries (food, things to keep them clean/healthy), and clothes for the children, as well as school things (books/paper/extra curriculars) should be coming out of the child support. Child support is not meant to cover your booze, cigarettes, or breakfasts with friends. It is not your personal source of income. It's for the minor children in your care. GET IT TOGETHER.

whse13kittens · January 2014

Also, I'm eating fried mozz sticks for lunch and putting my feet up til I have to go to 2nd job today. And doing as little work at first job as possible. Lazy, uncaring, party of me.

lv2011 · January 2014

I ate a granola bar for breakfast and a small chunk fell off and I couldn't find it. I just decided to change my shirt into something cooler and found it in my cleavage. I went 7 hours without noticing it

momthatlifts · January 2014

pandadair said:

Ooooh, yay, I have one! Inspired the the last posts on UO. Not that I don't love having sex with my husband, but sometimes I'm in the mood and just want vibrator time. Sorrynotsorry hubs can't get me off twice in 5 mins and let me get on with my day.

tmi alert but this was me today. After he came back from the gym he woke me up from a very nice dream- when he left the room it was game over.

danabsd · January 2014

I just knelt in dog vomit and sponged it out of my jeans rather than changing.

Was it dog shit vomit?

That was this thread right? #easilyconfused

Shell+Bell · January 2014

Gah, so lazy this week. Couldn't think of an UO or a FFFC, but since others have "confessed" how their LO's were conceived, I'll jump on that and use that as my FFFC.

DS#1, a few months of trying. Very unsexy, we should have sex for the sake of making a baby kind of sex.

DS#2, we were trying. However, it was DH's birthday. DS#1 stayed with my Aunt, and I booked a room at a Casino. And we had hot drunk sex (I was drunk, for the purpose of good sex. That's the ONLY reason I would drink, and DH appreciates it)

D?#3, we had just started trying. As in, we only did it twice in that cycle. And when I tested, because AF was a day late, DH was PISSED that it happened so quickly.

Miles2Go · January 2014

lv2011 said:

I ate a granola bar for breakfast and a small chunk fell off and I couldn't find it. I just decided to change my shirt into something cooler and found it in my cleavage. I went 7 hours without noticing it

Yes, but did you eat it?

ThereBeDragons · January 2014

Confession time.

I had a doc appointment and a nurse visit. The doc appt lasted an hour and a half with driving time and waiting room time included. I came home and laid down. Nurse just came- visit took less than 10min. Now I need a nap.

I feel like I ran a fracking marathon today. Drooling, moaning, shuffling footsteps- full on zombie.

Not at all flattering.

whse13kittens · January 2014

Miles2Go said:

lv2011 said:

I ate a granola bar for breakfast and a small chunk fell off and I couldn't find it. I just decided to change my shirt into something cooler and found it in my cleavage. I went 7 hours without noticing it

Yes, but did you eat it?

I think the flameful part is if she says "No". Don't waste!

yvanehtnioj · January 2014

This morning I was cleared for some types of sexual activity (still no P in the V). Problem is I haven't been able to see my nether regions for about a month so....hubs is in for a surprise party! Guest list: me & my bush

whse13kittens · January 2014

ThereBeDragons said:

Confession time.

I had a doc appointment and a nurse visit. The doc appt lasted an hour and a half with driving time and waiting room time included. I came home and laid down. Nurse just came- visit took less than 10min. Now I need a nap.

I feel like I ran a fracking marathon today. Drooling, moaning, shuffling footsteps- full on zombie.

Not at all flattering.

Naps are amazing. At any time of day, for any reason. Don't fight it!

lv2011 · January 2014

Miles2Go said:

lv2011 said:

I ate a granola bar for breakfast and a small chunk fell off and I couldn't find it. I just decided to change my shirt into something cooler and found it in my cleavage. I went 7 hours without noticing it

Yes, but did you eat it?

Nope, didn't eat it. Thought about it, though. I made myself a chocolate shake instead.

delatl · January 2014

sheriot said:

I drive through Burger King every morning on my way to work and get a sausage/egg/cheese on an english muffin. The same guy works there everyday and after three weeks of seeing me every.single.morning, he decided to introduce himself. My FFFC is that I am now on a first name basis with Paul, the drive thru guy at Burger King, because I eat a sausage/egg/cheese everyday.

I used to travel a lot for work and always stopped at the Burger King in the airport on my way to my gate. They got to recognize me well enough that they asked for my airport employee discount. I love fast food breakfast!

CamrynnsMommy · January 2014

whse13kittens said:
I don't know if this is a FFFC or an UO or a WTF Friday version, but here you go:

Child support is meant to be used for the child. That means rent (roof over their head), groceries (food, things to keep them clean/healthy), and clothes for the children, as well as school things (books/paper/extra curriculars) should be coming out of the child support. Child support is not meant to cover your booze, cigarettes, or breakfasts with friends. It is not your personal source of income. It's for the minor children in your care. GET IT TOGETHER.

I agree, I also think that food stamps should be regulated to some extent as well. I don't know logistically how this would work, but my former co-worker was on food stamps and she would use it to buy mass quantities of Red Bull and flaming hot Cheetos daily, cearly not for her kids and then bitch when they ran out of food.

My SIL also trades her food stamps for pills and crack.

RedInLove · January 2014

aimee223 said:
My coworker says she "has to go pee-pee" when she goes to the bathroom. 1. her kid is like 10, she doesn't have to call it that anymore. 2. THERE ARE NO KIDS HERE.

HA! This is one part I don't miss about working in an office. My military-issued foul mouth would get so bored! I used to work outside all day on a team with usually all guys. Being PC and SFW isn't something we practice. When I have to go to the bathroom, especially when we were too far from a porta-john and I had to find a tree, I would just tell my team leader I was taking a walk for a minute, and they got what I meant. I was on a new team, and told my team leader I was taking a walk. He asked why, so I told him I had to drain the lizard. Sometimes I REALLY loved being the only girl on the team LOL!

whse13kittens · January 2014

lv2011 said:

Miles2Go said:

lv2011 said:

I ate a granola bar for breakfast and a small chunk fell off and I couldn't find it. I just decided to change my shirt into something cooler and found it in my cleavage. I went 7 hours without noticing it

Yes, but did you eat it?

Nope, didn't eat it. Thought about it, though. I made myself a chocolate shake instead.

Only acceptable reason not to eat the granola bar.

Tnpeach · January 2014

I was going to read trough FFFC, b/c I never have before. Since I am on mobile, I have to click a few times. Apparently, I flagged someone, and I have no clue who it is! If I flagged you, please tell me so I can remove it. Please. I am so sorry!

RedInLove · January 2014

So now for my real FFFC.

I peed on the couch this morning. Just a dribble. I had an unexpected sneeze, and I snissed. Just enough that I had to change, and dab at the spot on the couch. DH laughed the entire time.

**No toilet seats, bathroom floors, or bare feet were hurt in the making of this FFFC.**

Empireceo · January 2014

More confessions: even though I know it's for the best, every time DS gets vaccines at a check up, I freak the fuck out for a moment and wonder if I'm poisoning. Every. Damn. Time. My pedi must think I'm a psycho.

serdaht · January 2014

kat8805 said:

Miles2Go said:

kat8805 said:

Sorry @Miles2Go all I think of when you mention your kid is old enough to get out of bed by herself, wander to your room and ask to nurse is this

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dspjwGhrVeU

Not judging... Its just all I think of lol

@MrsKTen I'm the one guilty of enticing you all with the mass quantities of DQ I eat. I have no metabolism.... And have gained a ton of weight, but everything health wise has been good, so I'm not about to stress over it for the next 84 days.

Yeah, she's not even 2 yet...

I know! Its not a stab at you, your DD, or BFing. My aunt told the story of when she decided it was time to stop BFing her DS, and that was when he was able to say clearly "other side". She joked about how freaked out it made her. So when I read of BFing a child old enough to verbalize their needs, I go back to my aunts freaked out face. And the Grown Ups clip covered it.

So it's not really a FFFC, but this made me think of something I could share:

My mom told me the other day that she knew it was time to ween me off the boob after I made it a habit during feedings to look her right in the eye, grin, and then bite down ;;)

Tnpeach · January 2014

@serdaht, my sister did that, too.

ErikaLynn75 · January 2014

Chellbell20 said:

I have one student who I really really don't get along with. Case in point, he called me "the rudest teacher ever," because I wanted him to work. He told me last week he was going to home school and inside I did a little dance. The class has been 10 million times better this week and I have a much better attitude about it and have a better relationship with the students still here. I have no shame in saying I'm happy he's gone.

I am so with you. I have student who I just caught on to doing some sneaky shit with her assignments (copy/pasting stuff and trying to pass it off as work on things that I normally just glance at for a completion grade). Plus I've suspected for a long time that someone else does a lot of her work for her, I just can't prove it.

Anyway, she has the nerve to email me Wednesday night and tell me she thinks I made a mistake giving her a zero on a paper because she knew she turned it in. I emailed her back and said the work she turned in is completely different from what this assignment was, and now that you mention it, I pulled up your previous homework pages and see if you have been pulling this trick for a while, and sure enough you have. So now you have zeros on all of it. (I hope that made sense) I was livid. Mostly because she had actually gotten away with it a few times and I can't believe it took me this long to notice.

I was all set to lay into her in class today. She was going to get a new seat, the entire class was going to get an integrity lecture, etc. But she showed up to class with a course-drop form for me to sign and she's leaving my class. I was suddenly in the best mood. But you can bet there's going to be a little conversation between me and her new teacher soon.

kat8805 · January 2014

serdaht said:

kat8805 said:

Miles2Go said:

kat8805 said:

Sorry @Miles2Go all I think of when you mention your kid is old enough to get out of bed by herself, wander to your room and ask to nurse is this

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dspjwGhrVeU

Not judging... Its just all I think of lol

@MrsKTen I'm the one guilty of enticing you all with the mass quantities of DQ I eat. I have no metabolism.... And have gained a ton of weight, but everything health wise has been good, so I'm not about to stress over it for the next 84 days.

Yeah, she's not even 2 yet...

I know! Its not a stab at you, your DD, or BFing. My aunt told the story of when she decided it was time to stop BFing her DS, and that was when he was able to say clearly "other side". She joked about how freaked out it made her. So when I read of BFing a child old enough to verbalize their needs, I go back to my aunts freaked out face. And the Grown Ups clip covered it.

So it's not really a FFFC, but this made me think of something I could share:

My mom told me the other day that she knew it was time to ween me off the boob after I made it a habit during feedings to look her right in the eye, grin, and then bite down ;;)

Ah! I had forgotten about the teeth! Thanks for the nightmares :-S

ErikaLynn75 · January 2014

My neighbor a few houses down had a baby today. I'm so excited to have a new baby nearby. My confession: I'm selfishly upset that baby arrived while I have a cold, so I can't go see her until I'm better. And I'm totally blaming DH for it.

dogsombrero · January 2014

I hate reading baby shower and name questions on the BMB. It's just my own issues but it makes me feel so anxious. I love you all but save me from myself by not post that ish here. Yep flame away.

ErikaLynn75 · January 2014

ljbreck said:

I hate reading baby shower and name questions on the BMB. It's just my own issues but it makes me feel so anxious. I love you all but save me from myself by not post that ish here. Yep flame away.

I don't understand why it makes you feel anxious? I don't like them because 99% of the time I don't give 2 shits what you name your kid. Like when it's a poll that says which of these 2 names is better? And they're both perfectly fine names. But I'm totally guilty of creating a name-related post. I just felt like I wanted opinions from people here that I'm familiar with and trust more than the Baby Names Board.

mileswithmyles · January 2014

@jcrewgirl85- 7-11 coffee is soooo good!

@pistolpackinmomma- I do this with DH sometimes about having to go to the bathroom. He works 24 hour shifts and sometimes, I just don't want to be on the phone for a long time, especially when the Real Housewives are calling my name.

@empireceo- totally done that with our dogs with this pregnancy. What accident?

@pandadair- I hear you on that! It is more time efficient and I don't worry what my vibrator thinks about my rapidly expanding stomach/butt

@ALE515- My nephews are bad too. We won't let them come over to our house because all we do is have to discipline them. Mostly, they feed/harass our dogs and it makes me nutty.

I have a two FFFC:
1. My students took a practice high school exit exam the last few weeks. A few of them didn't finish in the 1 week of class time they were given, so I asked them to come in before school, brunch, or lunch to finish it. I was walking back from the office at lunch this week and one of the students was talking to his friend. His mom was calling him to remind him to finish his test. He ignored her call and proceeded to tell his friend that he was going to put his phone on airplane mode and tell his mom his phone died so that he didn't have to go in during lunch. He didn't realize I heard him say all of his, so I emailed his mom to let her know what he had done. She walked him to my classroom at 7:30 the next day to ensure he made it there to finish his test and volunteered to do the same at brunch and lunch if he did not finish the test before school. I don't even feel bad that I got him in trouble.

2. Yesterday, I ate an entire movie theater size bag of M&M's while watching "The Spirit of the Marathon 2." I felt a little bad eating all that chocolate while watching them run, but not bad enough to stop or share with my friends/husband.

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