I get that what you said here is not what was said in the gym. But your comments here are your true feelings and thoughts on the situation, and that is what makes ME ill. You can't backpedal fast or far enough on that fact.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
@RedInLove I admit that first part is insensitive, but she said she couldn't do it because she is pg, well she was pg when she came in so I don't think that was really the reason. And I'm totally cool with people not wanting to do it, I know it can be intimidating, but I don't like when people act like pregnancy is a handicap.
The second part sounds bad until you realize that I am the owner's daughter and a trainer and lately I'm the fat, winded person questioning the workouts around all the "gym bunnies." It felt good to be used as an example today.
In all honesty, I actually feel sorry for you. Not only did you take the time to fat shame this girl in your mind, you felt fat shaming her here would get you brownie points. You're being this chick
Nobody likes that chick.
I love myself. All of myself. I realize I don't make the healthiest of choices, but I don't feel shame in that, or that I'm not everyone's dream girl. I love me. It took me many years to love me, and to realize I'm not every other woman, nor do I ever want to be. I just want to be me. And I am, and therefore I love myself.
Being "healthy" doesn't ensure a long life, but being secure in your own skin, sure does make what life I have so much better.
Wow I'm sorry but that is really sad to me it sounds really insecure that you felt so good about yourself by looking down on someone else. DH and I are personal trainers ourselves and run a womens boot camp, we cater to ALL fitness levels and ages. We have had pregnant campers but only because they started with us BEFORE they became pregnant and then of course we give them modification. We would actually turn someone away from our program who was 14 weeks pregnant without a Dr's note only because we wouldn't know her prior fitness level and we would want to make sure she could safely exercise. Seems irresponsible to me for a gym owner to advise otherwise. Rant over
Yea I don't think get behind this. I'm relatively active and fit but still overweight. While pregnant it's a whole different story and for various reasons I stopped working out completely. I have still done a lot maybe ill advised things such as moving heavy boxes/furniture because I refuse to believe I'm "disabled by pregnancy".
I've always wanted to join crossfit but never have because I'm worried that it's a little too cult-ish and I'm probably not committed enough to do it. This kind of statement really reinforces that.
As you clarify and back pedal I hear what you're saying and can relate to that. BUT I also think that the original wording probably reflects the judgey, arrogant, exclusive, sentiment that most people don't appreciate.
I get that what you said here is not what was said in the gym. But your comments here are your true feelings and thoughts on the situation, and that is what makes ME ill. You can't backpedal fast or far enough on that fact.
Yes, I said nothing but positive things about the gym and encouraging things to her, but I guess I did get judgey in my head.
I get that what you said here is not what was said in the gym. But your comments here are your true feelings and thoughts on the situation, and that is what makes ME ill. You can't backpedal fast or far enough on that fact.
Yes, I said nothing but positive things about the gym and encouraging things to her, but I guess I did get judgey in my head.
Thing is, that tends to have a way of showing through. I'm sure she felt it.
Met my soul mate October 2011 ~ Married August 2012
JFC. I am trying to get my shit together to put on actual clothes (went to the mall today and bought shirts, nbd) so I can go and get some sushi with H and holy Christ. Seriously @letayloreo? When we are pregnant, we're not "fat." (See your post calling yourself fat because you're pregnant...) I get that after Crossfitting (verbed it) you're super into fitness, but I would think that after all of the posts you've posted/seen here, I would think you'd know better than to be so careless with your choice of words. Go lift some shit and think about what you've said. I'll be eating sushi, dressed in real clothes (hopefully).
I'll AW here and say I've run four marathons and countless races in between. I will continue to train for a sprint tri after my baby is born. I love to run and I love to push myself. But you know what's more impressive than anything like that? Having a baby. That's pretty fucking impressive. I'm PGAL and there is no way I'd even think about training now. Life is way too precious, and sometimes way too short, to be concerned with bullshit like "I can still lift after months of being pregnant!"
Your greatest accomplishment is not going to be competing at Crossfit. It will be birthing and raising your baby. Same goes for the 200lb girl at your gym.
Additionally, @Letayloreo, bear in mind on a forum like this that you don't know who you're talking to. Among the people reading your post, some may be overweight. Some may have health issues or problems with their pregnancies that would cause them to be wary of working out while pregnant. Some- like myself- may have histories of eating disorders. You don't know- you don't know us, just like you don't know her. There are a number of reasons that a number of people could find your post triggering. Just one more thing to consider when you go out passing that kind of vicious judgment.
Met my soul mate October 2011 ~ Married August 2012
I just want to add that I have toned down my workouts considerably. Not because of a medical condition, or being high risk, but simply because I'm exhausted and I don't believe there is any shame in honoring my body. There are many physical challenges that I could do with little effort prepregnancy that I would struggle with now - And I actually think that is kind of awesome - I am SO looking forward to the feeling of being able to relearn and re-accomplish post baby.
and hey hey no shaming my husband has good reasons for no coffee... i drink too much soda lol... my caffeine intake is at its limits.. plus if i had to choose one ill choose the soda i guess! Though ive been craving a mocha lately.
It's one thing if it's your choice not to drink coffee because you drink to much mountain dew. But he won't let you. Oh, hellz no.
And it's not him I choose to shame. It's you, for seriously saying my husband won't let me and being fine with it.
For reals, yo. I'm a pretty old-fashioned lady in a lot of respects, but if my husband ever even insinuated that I "wasn't allowed" to drink coffee, shower by myself, cut my hair or whatever I would laugh in his face.
FFFC: People who use "LOL" in place of/as frequently as punctuation make me feel like this:
FFFC: Most of my emotions can be summed up in Steve Buscemi gifs.
I'm currently sipping on a french vanilla capuccino...it's yummy so my DH could suck my dick if he had a problem with it.
Also, if I ever use "LOL" know that it is not me but an imposter. I am not a thirteen year old girl.
My FFFC (on Saturday) is that I went to the gym this morning and there was a new guy there trying it out. His wife was with him but not dressed to work out so my dad (the gym owner/trainer) asked why she wasn't trying it and she responded with I'm 14 weeks pregnant... Normally this would not bother me because I know working out (especially crossfit) is not for everyone while pregnant, but she made me ill because she was at least 250lbs and obviously wouldn't exercise pregnant or not.
Also, when my dad pointed me out and told her that I was 6 months pregnant I felt way too proud of myself haha sorry not sorry.
My running buddy is 250 pounds. She was over 350 when she made a choice to change her lifestyle and take care of herself. While she may be "overweight" she can run full marathons. Not to mention, my 6 month pregnant self, who has continued a religious workout schedule even through the dreaded morning sickness, has trouble keeping up with her now. I don't know that this was a fair judgment to make. You don't know her story.
I'm pretty disgusted right now and feel so terribly bad for that poor woman at the gym. Since you've lurked for quite some time now you should probably know that fat shaming wouldn't go over very well here. You should also know that many of us have had or are currently dealing with eating disorders in some form or fashion.
Good thing we are on an internet forum and not face-to-face because the sight of my non-exercising 200lb body would probably make you ill right now.
I'm pretty disgusted right now and feel so terribly bad for that poor woman at the gym. Since you've lurked for quite some time now you should probably know that fat shaming wouldn't go over very well here. You should also know that many of us have had or are currently dealing with eating disorders in some form or fashion.
Good thing we are on an internet forum and not face-to-face because the sight of my non-exercising 200lb body would probably make you ill right now.
The rest of us, however, know you're gorgeous.
Met my soul mate October 2011 ~ Married August 2012
I am so pissed off right now that I am shaking. It's the people like @letayloreo who keep the fat stigmatism alive and well and embody the new wave of bigotry that makes me sick.
Guess what, I'm 350 pounds. Two years ago I weighed 450 but I started working out and taking care of myself. Before pregnancy I worked out 7 days a week, 3 hours a day. I did zumba, yoga, cross training, and running (yes, actually running) 5ks.
Now that I'm pregnant, I can no longer do what I used to thanks to a cyst and the beginnings of pre-e. I Would love to go hard at the gym, but it's not going I happen while I'm pregnant so I'm stuck using light weights and walking on the treadmill as the extent of my fitness routine.
Just because someone is over 250 DOES NOT mean that they don't have a desire to work out. So maybe she had a valid medical reason that she couldn't do crossfit, maybe she didn't feel comfortable explaining her specific reasons to a complete stranger, or maybe, just maybe there is a very big possibility that this woman felt your judgmental, better-than-you attitude from behind your false pleasantness and decided that it wasn't the place for her because she didn't want to get looked down on or feel uncomfortable every time she walked into a gym.
What your father did was a form of fat shaming. He had no right to call her out in front of others and I were her, I would have grabbed my husband and left immediately.
There's this awesome exercise that I really recommend called empathy. Maybe you should try it some time and add it to your routine.
Ps, here's some pics of my fat ass being active just to drive home my point that you can't judge a person as inactive simply because they are heavier.
@RedInLove I admit that first part is insensitive, but she said she couldn't do it because she is pg, well she was pg when she came in so I don't think that was really the reason. And I'm totally cool with people not wanting to do it, I know it can be intimidating, but I don't like when people act like pregnancy is a handicap.
The second part sounds bad until you realize that I am the owner's daughter and a trainer and lately I'm the fat, winded person questioning the workouts around all the "gym bunnies." It felt good to be used as an example today.
@letayloreo: WRONG. You just don't get it. The 2nd part sounds bad for NO OTHER REASON than it's rude, ignorant, insulting, presumptuous, disgusting, snide, and UNCALLED FOR. I don't care if you're the gym's owner or the Fitness Queen of Infinity and Beyond.
You know you watch too much Pixar when you read that and think Buzz Lightyear has a fitness queen?
Let me just start with- I'm well over 200lbs even after losing 20 in the first trimester and holding steady now. Let me assure you that while my doctor wanted me to be more "active" at 14 weeks he meant walking and swimming. Not crossfit. And I seriously considered picking up a gym membership just to get access to a nice indoor pool for the winter.
It isn't dangerous for you.
I have an incompetent cervix. At 14 weeks i was limited to walking/swimming as exercise. At 20 weeks I wasn't allowed to walk more than an hour a day. At 22 weeks and since then I've been on bedrest because my cervix would like nothing more than to drop my baby on her head at my feet.
I could have been your guest- looking for a gym with a nice pool and treadmill, fat, pregnant, and unwilling to expand on my extensive medical history beyond "Sorry, I'm pregnant". And pointing out the 20w pregnant fit woman who can do that exercise would have been not only shaming me, but also fucking demoralizing. Because you see- even at 14 weeks I knew there was a very good chance that I wouldn't make it to 20weeks without miscarrying... Even if I followed all of my doctors instructions and stuck to walking and swimming.
So bully for you. Not only are you thinner than I've probably ever been, and have a cuter bump than I will probably ever have, you have a functional reproductive system such that you can easily carry a child to term and keep exercising while you're at it. Do you want my envy? My jealousy? Is it in anyway constructive to know that you shamed someone with your awesome body?
Grats. You have it. I'm a hater because I'm jealous. I'll openly admit it. I'm jealous as hell that your doctor hasn't said the words hospital bed rest or micro preemie. I'm jealous of your bump, I'm jealous of the energy that you clearly have to be exercising.
But no matter how jealous I am, I still wouldn't get on the crossfit machine and risk losing my child just because a gym owner pointed to another pregnant woman and assured me it was safe. That's not his call to make.
Friends for 17 years. Married 10. TTC since Jan 2009.
2012: Lost "Peanut" at 17weeks to PTL/IC.
2013: IVF#3/FET#4 Elisabeth CJ born April 30, 2014 Cerclage, P17, and 3 months of bed rest brought us our Rainbow.
It's enough for most people to be told that I'm having a very difficult/complicated pregnancy. You guys get updates on the state of the uterus/cervix, and my mom and SIL get updates.
Everyone else gets told the general party line: Dragons are meant to lay eggs- unfortunately I lack proper egg making anatomy and thus I must gestate this egg inside. Sadly, my body seems to believe the party line that dragons lay eggs and it thinks nows a great time to set the Elisabeth Egg down in a nice nest to be sat upon for another few months.
Friends for 17 years. Married 10. TTC since Jan 2009.
2012: Lost "Peanut" at 17weeks to PTL/IC.
2013: IVF#3/FET#4 Elisabeth CJ born April 30, 2014 Cerclage, P17, and 3 months of bed rest brought us our Rainbow.
I weigh 250 lbs, you know what I do work out! I go to the gym 4 days a week and I spend an hour there. I have been on and off various diets. I love my spinning class and I know that I am one of the biggest girls there but I rock it harder than some of the skinnier people. Your comment makes me sick to my stomach. How dare you think that someone doesn't want to work out because she is overweight.
This makes me SO angry. How dare your father try to guilt someone into joining his gym? This sounds like the kind of gym I'd avoid for sure. And flaunting you around like you're some kind of an idol? No thanks.
First off, no one has to do anything they don't want to do. Just because his daughter does it, doesn't mean I need to. Or that I'd even want to.
Secondly, it's incredibly irresponsible for your father to suggest that anyone, especially a pregnant woman, take up an exercise program without any knowledge of their fitness level. Looks like your dad is only thinking about his profit. There's a real reason to be proud.
I've been very into fitness at various points in my adult life. However, when I got pregnant I hadn't been working out in a few months. Therefore, no matter how fat you may think I am, it's NOT recommended that I start a new routine. You're supposed to stick with what you were doing before you got pregnant. Everyone knows that - your dad should take a hint.
Wow I'm sorry but that is really sad to me it sounds really insecure that you felt so good about yourself by looking down on someone else. DH and I are personal trainers ourselves and run a womens boot camp, we cater to ALL fitness levels and ages. We have had pregnant campers but only because they started with us BEFORE they became pregnant and then of course we give them modification. We would actually turn someone away from our program who was 14 weeks pregnant without a Dr's note only because we wouldn't know her prior fitness level and we would want to make sure she could safely exercise. Seems irresponsible to me for a gym owner to advise otherwise. Rant over
Cross Fit is not safe to start at 14 weeks and her response " I am pregnant" to you, Letayloreo, was perfectly exceptable. You and your father need to make sure you are not putting people in danger at your gym! Starting Cross Fit modified or not is NOT safe for someone who was not doing it before they became pregnant. Most gyms or work out facilities tell people to not begin any new work outs if they haven't been doing it prior to becoming pregnant. Also, NEVER think that you are helping a person by pointing out how great someone else looks!
@letatloreo I had to walk away from this thread for a few hours, because that's how mad it made me.
I'm a runner. Outside of pregnancy, I run or workout 6 days a week. I always planned to run through my pregnancies, but, long story short, my body has other plans, and it wasn't comfortable for me last time or this time. You know how that made me feel about myself last pregnancy? Like shit. Because there are all of these women out there saying how easy and great it is to keep up your current fitness level while pregnant...Well, not for everyone. And those were just random Internet strangers not even directing their words to me, who were making me feel like shit, let alone a gym owner's shaming words and his daighter's attitude IN PERSON. I would have cried. Not in front of you two, but I would have gone home and cried. For weeks, probably, because that's how sensitive I am to the subject and how much it broke my heart not to be able to continue while pregnant.
Good for you for being able to do it, but fuck you for being so judgmental about it.
I hope, for your sake, that you take something away from all of the stories shared in this thread, and you take a good hard look at yourself, and I hope it humbles you a bit. Because I thank god that the journey running has taken me on has humbled me, including, but not limited to, not being able to while pregnant, or else I may have turned out having a similar attitude to you.
@letayloreo - I was the one who mentioned "gym bunnies".
FYI I work in the fitness industry as a buyer for the stores and merchandise stands you find in gyms. Consequently I spend a lot of time in gyms and at the head offices of major worldwide sports brands (Nike, speedo etc). I don't work out, but I probably know about as much about the best equipment, accessories and clothing for each sport as someone who does on a regular basis or professionally. Just because I don't join in doesn't mean I'm not clued up on the world of gym bunnies. I see it all the time. People who saunter around looking down on other people because they're not putting in as much effort as them. I buy in the clothes that show off your hard work, honey. I buy in the equipment that makes you think you look superior to others. And guess what, I was an average 130lbs pre-preg and I don't give a shit about wasting my time being looked down on by miss perfect and her crew because I'm self conscious of my body. I'd rather go for a walk.
Btw - I remember you giving me a hard time because I suggested calling in work sick after a very hard weekend, which left me feeling like crap. A weekend that involved travelling to the other side of the country and visiting the graves and memorials of several recently deceased family members (inc my mother). You used one of your ever so common roll-eyes gifs (you must have 1000s) to tell me to grow a pair and that I basically need to get my shit together because you judge people who take time out for themselves.
In afraid the above pretty much shows someone who is a judgemental bitch who thinks she's superior to other people because she can be superwoman while pregnant. Sorry we must disgust you here. I'm off to hang out with the gross kids who have a hard time getting off the sofa and can't remember the last time they shaved their cho-cha because they stopped giving a shit sometime before Christmas.
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
This probably pointless to even waste my time writing since you probably won't respond to any of these posts, but I have to get it out.
First you know exactly 2 things about this woman who you and your father judged. 1. She is 14 weeks pregnant and 2. She was not interested in trying out your program at this time. In regards to number 2, you realized that when you noticed her coming in with out workout clothes on, not when she advised she was pregnant. You DO NOT know if and what past injuries she may have, if she has a high risk pregnancy, her level of fitness, her readiness to start a workout program, and that's just a few that you are SUPPOSED to know as a fitness professional BEFORE you advise or train anyone.
Also, as a fitness professional it is your duty to safely advise others how to reach their fitness goals in a safe enjoyable manner. This is not possible to do without knowing the persons goals. In your case this woman did not come to you looking for help, she was simply there watching her husband. Maybe in the back of her mind she was curious to see what crossfit was all about so that she may join you in the future. I highly doubt she will plan on doing that now.
Judging her was wrong, and I know we have all been "judgey" in our lives so none of us are innocent. But you made the mistake of airing your judgement on a forum of strangers, many of who may fit the body type of the woman that you described. Therefore you unknowingly judged and offended many more people that you intended too. That being said it is never safe to assume a 250 pound woman is not fit or working on getting fit just as it's not always the case that a slender 140 pound woman is fit and healthy. I have met many people who are by appearance "in good shape" but have a hard time waking a 5k along with many who may look overweight but are physically fit. Also it our job to show others that fitness it's not just a number on a scale, that's actually one of the least important aspects of fitness in my opinion.
Lastly, as a personal trainer I feel sad that I am lumped into the same job description as you. Personal trainers are a great asset for many people no matter their size, age or fitness level and I really hope that most of is do not share the same attitude you do about potential clients. I started this career to help others, not so I could look at "overweight" people and feel better about myself. If my husband EVER compared a potential clients situation to his physically fit pregnant, personal trainer wife, I would slap him across the face! Luckily I know that thought would not cross his mind in a million years.
There is so much more I could say, but you probably didn't even make it to the end of this rambling mess. Either way I feel better having got it off my chest.
Also this was typed out on my phone after a very restless night of sleep I apologize for errors!
I think it is ironic that though I was disagreeing with her, I very politely worded my response and letayloreo decided that a Nene Leekes eye rolling gif was an appropriate rely (because that doesn't seem petulant at all) and then another gif when my response took too long (sanding down a rocker on my porch, god forbid I put my iPad down for an hour). But now that the women of M14 have pointed out quite passionately that fat shaming is NOT COOL there is no response at all? I hate to sound harsh, but I find that to be very hypocritical - if you're going to insist others respond you should probably be willing to respond back as well (real housewives gif not necessary, though).
Also, the empathy and understanding viewpoints of all the M14 ladies on this board is just awesome. you dudes rock!
And @Letayloreo, you've said repeatedly that what bothered you the most was her excuse. That's been getting to me more and more... because the more I think about it, I have to ask who the hell you think you are that she owes you some kind of explanation? She wasn't even there for herself, and she's supposed to give you her life story or her medical history to not want to work out with fat-shaming snobs? God, that's arrogant.
Met my soul mate October 2011 ~ Married August 2012
Well as someone who had a weight training coach for 6 years who competed in the world's strongest woman competition, perhaps that lazy fat-fat you are judging so harshly observed the same things I do about crossfit: Abput 70% of the people I've seen doing it are using incorrect form and technique and are basically back injuries waiting to happen. Maybe she just didn't want to be rude. What a concept, right?
I waz here. FFFC: I read the first and last page. I haven't worked out since, like, 2 days after I POAS. I've been tired, sick, and busy. Also, @empireceo- ever since I read your FFFC, I've had that stupid "I'm a boss ass bitch" song stuck in my head. That song applies to so much in this thread.
totally agree with this!!! Also (this may have changed) but Crossfit trainers have to be Crossfit certified only but not have to be Personal Trainer certified….
That being said, there are I am sure plenty of great certified Crossfit trainers out there that run great gyms! As PP said, make sure you do your research and be 100% comfortable with the gym before starting your program.
I would like to add to my post from yesterday. My aunt was clearly not herself at dinner last night and she called me this morning to tell me that my youngest cousin is struggling with an eating disorder. She is a beautiful, previously healthy looking 16 year old who is active, a dancer and a cheerleader. I know OP was judging someone overweight, but fat shaming is what causes beautiful girls like her to feel less than adequate when she was perfect the way she was.
This reinforces my suspicion that crossfit is cultesque and its purveyors are not trained enough about safety. "No it's totes safe to begin our insane workouts 14 weeks into your pregnancy! We'll just modify so your form is only half as incorrect as our non-preggo crossfitters!! You didn't want to keep ALL of your spinal discs unherniated, did you?"
@letayloreo what's your response to what's been said over the last few pages? You seem to have had a lot to say earlier, complete with poorly-placed gifs. Now that people have pointed out that you judged and assumed without knowing diddly squat about this person, care to respond? Flames too hot?
I just want to say that I love what everyone has said in re: to the unacceptable comments made by letayalero. My initial reaction was much harsher than what I wrote. My thoughts to myself was "what a judgemental b---". I loved especially people's personal stories of their struggles with weight & pregnancy. I like exercising & not high risk, but just haven't felt up to it since pregnancy symptoms like nausea etc. started. I had an eating disorder in high school. even though I was only 105 pounds, I still thought I was fat. These kind of comments made by op is hurtful for all if us, including the op, who I assume is so judgemental because of her own inscurities.
Part of what is so frustrating to me is, letayloreo had every reason to be proud of her own achievements. Cross Fit isn't easy. Fitness isn't easy. A lifestyle change isn't easy. If it was, we'd all be doing it. This is a huge case of forgetting where you came from, and what it took to get where you are now. When I first read her post, I skimmed it and was about to call her out for her hard work. Then I read the post in it's entirety. Her stereo-typing judgement, smug attitude, and holier-than-thou gloating completely undermined her own journey and made it not relevant.
I have family and friends that struggle with weight, healthy, healthy eating, etc.; their struggles come in various ways and for various reasons. This topic hits home for everyone.
I've not heard an ounce of empathy, compassion, or regret. Her silence is deafening, and it's all I need to hear to know the kind of person she really is. And that kind of person is just not welcome around here.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
I just want to say that I love what everyone has said in re: to the unacceptable comments made by letayalero. My initial reaction was much harsher than what I wrote. My thoughts to myself was "what a judgemental b---". I loved especially people's personal stories of their struggles with weight & pregnancy. I like exercising & not high risk, but just haven't felt up to it since pregnancy symptoms like nausea etc. started. I had an eating disorder in high school. even though I was only 105 pounds, I still thought I was fat. These kind of comments made by op is hurtful for all if us, including the op, who I assume is so judgemental because of her own inscurities.
Part of what is so frustrating to me is, letayloreo had every reason to be proud of her own achievements. Cross Fit isn't easy. Fitness isn't easy. A lifestyle change isn't easy. If it was, we'd all be doing it. This is a huge case of forgetting where you came from, and what it took to get where you are now. When I first read her post, I skimmed it and was about to call her out for her hard work. Then I read the post in it's entirety. Her stereo-typing judgement, smug attitude, and holier-than-thou gloating completely undermined her own journey and made it not relevant.
I have family and friends that struggle with weight, healthy, healthy eating, etc.; their struggles come in various ways and for various reasons. This topic hits home for everyone.
I've not heard an ounce of empathy, compassion, or regret. Her silence is deafening, and it's all I need to hear to know the kind of person she really is. And that kind of person is just not welcome around here.
Re: FFFC
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
Nobody likes that chick.
I love myself. All of myself. I realize I don't make the healthiest of choices, but I don't feel shame in that, or that I'm not everyone's dream girl. I love me. It took me many years to love me, and to realize I'm not every other woman, nor do I ever want to be. I just want to be me. And I am, and therefore I love myself.
Being "healthy" doesn't ensure a long life, but being secure in your own skin, sure does make what life I have so much better.
I've always wanted to join crossfit but never have because I'm worried that it's a little too cult-ish and I'm probably not committed enough to do it. This kind of statement really reinforces that.
As you clarify and back pedal I hear what you're saying and can relate to that. BUT I also think that the original wording probably reflects the judgey, arrogant, exclusive, sentiment that most people don't appreciate.
Go lift some shit and think about what you've said. I'll be eating sushi, dressed in real clothes (hopefully).
I'll AW here and say I've run four marathons and countless races in between. I will continue to train for a sprint tri after my baby is born. I love to run and I love to push myself. But you know what's more impressive than anything like that? Having a baby. That's pretty fucking impressive. I'm PGAL and there is no way I'd even think about training now. Life is way too precious, and sometimes way too short, to be concerned with bullshit like "I can still lift after months of being pregnant!"
Your greatest accomplishment is not going to be competing at Crossfit. It will be birthing and raising your baby. Same goes for the 200lb girl at your gym.
ETA: FAT fingers.
I'm currently sipping on a french vanilla capuccino...it's yummy so my DH could suck my dick if he had a problem with it.
My running buddy is 250 pounds. She was over 350 when she made a choice to change her lifestyle and take care of herself. While she may be "overweight" she can run full marathons. Not to mention, my 6 month pregnant self, who has continued a religious workout schedule even through the dreaded morning sickness, has trouble keeping up with her now. I don't know that this was a fair judgment to make. You don't know her story.
Guess what, I'm 350 pounds. Two years ago I weighed 450 but I started working out and taking care of myself. Before pregnancy I worked out 7 days a week, 3 hours a day. I did zumba, yoga, cross training, and running (yes, actually running) 5ks.
Now that I'm pregnant, I can no longer do what I used to thanks to a cyst and the beginnings of pre-e. I Would love to go hard at the gym, but it's not going I happen while I'm pregnant so I'm stuck using light weights and walking on the treadmill as the extent of my fitness routine.
Just because someone is over 250 DOES NOT mean that they don't have a desire to work out. So maybe she had a valid medical reason that she couldn't do crossfit, maybe she didn't feel comfortable explaining her specific reasons to a complete stranger, or maybe, just maybe there is a very big possibility that this woman felt your judgmental, better-than-you attitude from behind your false pleasantness and decided that it wasn't the place for her because she didn't want to get looked down on or feel uncomfortable every time she walked into a gym.
What your father did was a form of fat shaming. He had no right to call her out in front of others and I were her, I would have grabbed my husband and left immediately.
There's this awesome exercise that I really recommend called empathy. Maybe you should try it some time and add it to your routine.
Ps, here's some pics of my fat ass being active just to drive home my point that you can't judge a person as inactive simply because they are heavier.
You know you watch too much Pixar when you read that and think Buzz Lightyear has a fitness queen?
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
Friends for 17 years. Married 10. TTC since Jan 2009.
2013: IVF#3/FET#4 Elisabeth CJ born April 30, 2014
Cerclage, P17, and 3 months of bed rest brought us our Rainbow.
Dum spiro, spero.
Friends for 17 years. Married 10. TTC since Jan 2009.
2013: IVF#3/FET#4 Elisabeth CJ born April 30, 2014
Cerclage, P17, and 3 months of bed rest brought us our Rainbow.
Dum spiro, spero.
I weigh 250 lbs, you know what I do work out! I go to the gym 4 days a week and I spend an hour there. I have been on and off various diets. I love my spinning class and I know that I am one of the biggest girls there but I rock it harder than some of the skinnier people. Your comment makes me sick to my stomach. How dare you think that someone doesn't want to work out because she is overweight.
First off, no one has to do anything they don't want to do. Just because his daughter does it, doesn't mean I need to. Or that I'd even want to.
Secondly, it's incredibly irresponsible for your father to suggest that anyone, especially a pregnant woman, take up an exercise program without any knowledge of their fitness level. Looks like your dad is only thinking about his profit. There's a real reason to be proud.
I've been very into fitness at various points in my adult life. However, when I got pregnant I hadn't been working out in a few months. Therefore, no matter how fat you may think I am, it's NOT recommended that I start a new routine. You're supposed to stick with what you were doing before you got pregnant. Everyone knows that - your dad should take a hint.
I'm a runner. Outside of pregnancy, I run or workout 6 days a week. I always planned to run through my pregnancies, but, long story short, my body has other plans, and it wasn't comfortable for me last time or this time. You know how that made me feel about myself last pregnancy? Like shit. Because there are all of these women out there saying how easy and great it is to keep up your current fitness level while pregnant...Well, not for everyone. And those were just random Internet strangers not even directing their words to me, who were making me feel like shit, let alone a gym owner's shaming words and his daighter's attitude IN PERSON. I would have cried. Not in front of you two, but I would have gone home and cried. For weeks, probably, because that's how sensitive I am to the subject and how much it broke my heart not to be able to continue while pregnant.
Good for you for being able to do it, but fuck you for being so judgmental about it.
I hope, for your sake, that you take something away from all of the stories shared in this thread, and you take a good hard look at yourself, and I hope it humbles you a bit. Because I thank god that the journey running has taken me on has humbled me, including, but not limited to, not being able to while pregnant, or else I may have turned out having a similar attitude to you.
FYI I work in the fitness industry as a buyer for the stores and merchandise stands you find in gyms. Consequently I spend a lot of time in gyms and at the head offices of major worldwide sports brands (Nike, speedo etc). I don't work out, but I probably know about as much about the best equipment, accessories and clothing for each sport as someone who does on a regular basis or professionally. Just because I don't join in doesn't mean I'm not clued up on the world of gym bunnies. I see it all the time. People who saunter around looking down on other people because they're not putting in as much effort as them. I buy in the clothes that show off your hard work, honey. I buy in the equipment that makes you think you look superior to others. And guess what, I was an average 130lbs pre-preg and I don't give a shit about wasting my time being looked down on by miss perfect and her crew because I'm self conscious of my body. I'd rather go for a walk.
Btw - I remember you giving me a hard time because I suggested calling in work sick after a very hard weekend, which left me feeling like crap. A weekend that involved travelling to the other side of the country and visiting the graves and memorials of several recently deceased family members (inc my mother). You used one of your ever so common roll-eyes gifs (you must have 1000s) to tell me to grow a pair and that I basically need to get my shit together because you judge people who take time out for themselves.
In afraid the above pretty much shows someone who is a judgemental bitch who thinks she's superior to other people because she can be superwoman while pregnant. Sorry we must disgust you here. I'm off to hang out with the gross kids who have a hard time getting off the sofa and can't remember the last time they shaved their cho-cha because they stopped giving a shit sometime before Christmas.
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
First you know exactly 2 things about this woman who you and your father judged. 1. She is 14 weeks pregnant and 2. She was not interested in trying out your program at this time. In regards to number 2, you realized that when you noticed her coming in with out workout clothes on, not when she advised she was pregnant. You DO NOT know if and what past injuries she may have, if she has a high risk pregnancy, her level of fitness, her readiness to start a workout program, and that's just a few that you are SUPPOSED to know as a fitness professional BEFORE you advise or train anyone.
Also, as a fitness professional it is your duty to safely advise others how to reach their fitness goals in a safe enjoyable manner. This is not possible to do without knowing the persons goals. In your case this woman did not come to you looking for help, she was simply there watching her husband. Maybe in the back of her mind she was curious to see what crossfit was all about so that she may join you in the future. I highly doubt she will plan on doing that now.
Judging her was wrong, and I know we have all been "judgey" in our lives so none of us are innocent. But you made the mistake of airing your judgement on a forum of strangers, many of who may fit the body type of the woman that you described. Therefore you unknowingly judged and offended many more people that you intended too. That being said it is never safe to assume a 250 pound woman is not fit or working on getting fit just as it's not always the case that a slender 140 pound woman is fit and healthy. I have met many people who are by appearance "in good shape" but have a hard time waking a 5k along with many who may look overweight but are physically fit. Also it our job to show others that fitness it's not just a number on a scale, that's actually one of the least important aspects of fitness in my opinion.
Lastly, as a personal trainer I feel sad that I am lumped into the same job description as you. Personal trainers are a great asset for many people no matter their size, age or fitness level and I really hope that most of is do not share the same attitude you do about potential clients. I started this career to help others, not so I could look at "overweight" people and feel better about myself. If my husband EVER compared a potential clients situation to his physically fit pregnant, personal trainer wife, I would slap him across the face! Luckily I know that thought would not cross his mind in a million years.
There is so much more I could say, but you probably didn't even make it to the end of this rambling mess. Either way I feel better having got it off my chest.
Also this was typed out on my phone after a very restless night of sleep I apologize for errors!
Carry on
And because Fat Amy is appropriate here:
Also, @empireceo- ever since I read your FFFC, I've had that stupid "I'm a boss ass bitch" song stuck in my head.
That song applies to so much in this thread.
Kbai.
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.