Does your partner go to every appointment with you??

Kar2383 · January 2014

Does your boyfriend/husband go to every appointment with you? My boyfriend wants to be involved with every step which is wonderful but I don't want to waste his time if its just a checkup. But then again, if we get to hear the heartbeat every time, I definetly want him there.

lindslalala · January 2014

He did with our first, he hasn't been to any appointments this time. He'll probably just come to the anatomy scan appt this pregnancy.

AMcLaws · January 2014

He was with our first, because he worked nights and could be. With this one, he plans on being at as many as possible, as long as his schedule allows.

LyndseylovesHugh · January 2014

No. He comes to appointments where there is an ultra sound but he doesn't need to take time off work for a 15
Minute check up.

AKbadwolf · January 2014

As many as possible. He will be leaving though for 3 months so he will miss a good number of them.

ashcross · January 2014

My husband was with me at the first two appointments and will probably come to the anatomy appt but he hasn't been at two of them due to his work schedule.

V1981 · January 2014

No. Just ultrasounds. Most appointments are so quick, it's not.worth the time off.

kmawb · January 2014

My DH came to the first doc appointment when we could hear the heartbeat on doppler (~12weeks) and our intake appointment with the OB last time (our first time meeting her), along with all 3 of my u/s and the several NSTs I had done at the hospital at 40+ weeks.

So far this time he has just been to the u/s appointments (3 so far, at least 2 more to come).

livkight · January 2014

This is our first and I love having him with me. He's always way more excited and expressive about things like hearing the heartbeat and such. I love looking over and seeing him giddy as a schoolboy as we go through the exam.

Ylvelill · January 2014

He was at the first one, and will be at the a/s but I don't feel it is necessary for him to come every time.

Knbh · January 2014

Yeah, he goes with me to all my appts, but that's only because it's our first and he'll be deploying and won't be home for the birth.

jnnfrrose6 · January 2014

LyndseylovesHugh said:

No. He comes to appointments where there is an ultra sound but he doesn't need to take time off work for a 15 Minute check up.

Same here. So far he's been to them, but that's because I had an ultrasound at my first 2 appointments. He'll come to the next one (a/s) and that will probably be it. Once they're just checking weight, bp, and other simple things in about 15 minutes, it's not really necessary for him to take the time to be there.

pantherRN · January 2014

He came to the appointment after our NT scan and that's it. I see no reason in him taking PTO as well.

cuntasaurusrex · January 2014

I told DH I'd like him there for ultrasounds, and of course he wants to be there for those. He's also willing to come to the checkups and hear the heartbeat, but I won't be upset if he doesn't come to every one of them, as he has a longer commute to and from work, and his client schedule is much more packed than mine.

singingirl96 · January 2014

No, that would be silly. What does he need to be there for?

He'll go to the Anatomy scan, that's it.

[Deleted User] · January 2014

Just ultrasounds. If it was close to his work where he could pop over, then maybe, but he'd have to take at least 2 hours off just for a 5-minute check-up so I'd rather he save his time.

ghostof5letters · January 2014

With our first, he only went to the first appointment and the ultrasounds. With this pregnancy, he hasn't been to an appointment yet.

He works an hour away, and it's silly for him to take a half a day off from work just to go to a 15 minute (or less) appointment.

ETA: I'm curious about the ones that are going to every single appointment. Do your SO's have jobs? Are they taking PTO or do they work flexible schedules or opposite schedules?

LenaLove · January 2014

No. I think last time he came to the first appointment where we heard the heartbeat and to the ultrasounds. It would be a waste of time for him to come to every check-up.

This time he has not been to any appointments, and my ultrasound was last minute, and he couldn't leave work, but he will be at the anatomey scan.

JuniperGaze · January 2014

He went to my first 2 so far. Today I had an early GD test and I didn't think he needed to sit around with me for an hour. He will come to the next one which is the anatomy scan. I would like him to come to come to as many as he can though.

lindslalala · January 2014

ghostof5letters said:
With our first, he only went to the first appointment and the ultrasounds. With this pregnancy, he hasn't been to an appointment yet.

He works an hour away, and it's silly for him to take a half a day off from work just to go to a 15 minute (or less) appointment.

ETA: I'm curious about the ones that are going to every single appointment. Do your SO's have jobs? Are they taking PTO or do they work flexible schedules or opposite schedules?

DH works shift work and often has some week days off so I made my appointments on his off days with DS.

Myanswer true · January 2014

DH only went to our first nurse/educator check-in and the first ultrasound, and he'll be there for the AS. Honestly, I don't want him there for the routine appointments. I feel like it would be a waste of his time and I didn't exactly want him there when my lady bits are being probed.

ghostof5letters · January 2014

Most days I feel like the routine appointments are a waste of my time, let alone my husbands too.

shanaynerz · January 2014

DH came with to see the MFM and for our early u/s, but he should be back at work soon so he won't be coming to anymore. He really doesn't need to, and since I'll be having many more u/s's this time he won't be coming to them all. With DD he came to a few OB appts and my a/s, but it was totally unnecessary for him to come to the OB appts really.

Dcwtada · January 2014

He came to the first and will come when we have the ultrasound but unless there is a problem or something I don't see him coming to any others or would want him to... The last appointment was more than an hour of waiting and less than 15 minutes for the appt.

The pictures on the wall almost made him sick last time, being the sweet soul I am, I made sure to take a couple pictures and text them to him while he was at work.

hminer4 · January 2014

With this one he is only coming to those with ultrasounds. He actually missed my first trimester screen appointment because of work and I was a bit disappointed. I would rather him save his personal and sick days for when the baby comes and I need ALL the help! With our first he came to a bunch of appointments: all ultrasounds and any more important ones (like when i need to have a follow up the day after an appointment for high blood pressure or NST scans once I was over 40 weeks) and whenever he wasn't working.

Kar2383 · January 2014

My boyfriend is a pilot so his work schedule varies. We have been scheduling our appointments on his days off. It would e different if he had to take time off every time.

SuperTinkerham · January 2014

Yes so far. He was out of the country when I miscarried last time - and it was really traumatic to have to tell him while he was so far away and go home to an empty house. I'm not sure if he can make it to every appointment this time, but he's trying really hard. Thursday I meet the OB for the first time, so he wants to be there.

Edit - since I've gone to 1,000,000 RE appointments by myself I figure he can suck up a few OB appointments.

PregsMcSnoozalot · January 2014

before the bfp dh was all like "when you're pregnant i'll come to every appointment!", but now that it's a reality, work schedules are tough to get around. he runs his own business, so when he's not working, he's losing money

he came to a few appointments at the very beginning (US at 7 and 9 weeks with my fertility dude) and the NT scan, but the next one he'll come to is the AS, then who knows after that...

alyssa719 · January 2014

DH goes to mine - he works second shift and I schedule them in the mornings. He helps me remember things and to not be so freaked out all the time (I'm a nervous nellie).

cyndelgrace · January 2014

I have't had an appointment yet, ha! But I'm sure DH will go to most of them

BlueFox181 · January 2014

My husbands has been to all of mine so far- but we are first timers. He only works about 20 mins from the OB office and they never make us wait- as a matter of fact- he's always late and they basically wait for him. I have started telling him the appointments are 15 min earlier than they are, and THEN he shows up on time :-w

He basically is on call 24/7 and works late every night. I think they can spare him for an hour or so every month. On Sunday he had to go into work at 10pm and didn't get home till 2am. Makes me crazy!

andyandrachel · January 2014

Just the NT Scan and Anatomy Scan. I would rather him save his time off for after the baby is born.

INmommy871278 · January 2014

Nope, his work schedule doesn't go with my appointments and we can't afford for him to take time off for every appointment. He will be taking off for the anatomy scan and obviously when I give birth.

*LrCg* · January 2014

DH goes as well does all of our kids. However, I use a midwife and we do homebirths so I think its different. We sometimes meet at her birth center or she comes to our house. I've used this midwife with my previous 3 births and I've never had an appointment be shorter than an hour. She likes to involve the kids in helping take measurements and hearing the heartbeat. She talks with both DH and I and has always made sure his questions were answered along with mine, etc. I couldn't imagine DH not coming.

knitsandgiggles · January 2014

DH went to my first appt, will attend the anatomy scan, but otherwise I'll go by myself. The routine appts, especially as they start coming closer together (once a week those final weeks and then everyday past your due date) would seem ridiculous for DH to be at each one.

I will say, he did attend the appts on my due date and the one past it. He was antsy and wanted to be there.

He's a call away if something comes up.

Skeemer · January 2014

***loss mentioned***

DH goes to every appointment with me because of our prior loss. He doesn't want me to be there alone if I were to get unexpected news. I've never asked him to come to every appointment. He just does. And I adore him for it.

Rach7170 · January 2014

No. H came to most with our first because he worked third shift. He works first shift six days a week and I don't really need him there. Oliver comes and thinks it's pretty cool when they find the heartbeat. DH is coming to the ultrasound in three weeks but, that will probably be it.

mcvgal · January 2014

With DS, DH went to every appointment with me. This time he's missed 2 due to his work schedule. I don't expect him to go to everyone since I am high risk and have 2 appointments each month. But he is trying to make as many appointments as possible.

jennp1979 · January 2014

Yes by his choice and I'm loving it he will go to every single one

KateH2013 · January 2014

DH will come to as many appointments as he can. Since this is our first he has as many questions as I do and like a PP said, it's helpful to have another set of ears there too. His job grants him a ton of personal leave time so if he takes an hour or so each month (schedule permitting) it's not a big deal. He generally makes up the time in the evenings anyway.

flmomof4 · January 2014

DH came to almost all of them with DD. He went to all of the many ultrasounds to check on growth and possible issues. He was working retail then and I was able to schedule them on his days off. This time he's just been to the first appointment and ultrasound. He's coming to my next appointment when they may do an ultrasound and for the anatomy scan next month. He works with me now so it's fairly easy for him to duck out for the important appointments.

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