Does your partner go to every appointment with you??

Allison546

LyndseylovesHugh said:

No. He comes to appointments where there is an ultra sound but he doesn't need to take time off work for a 15 Minute check up.

Same here. He came to the NT scan and will come to the anatomy scan. That's probably it

eortman

Nope, just for the ultrasounds and any other ones that he might happen to be off of work for.

AutumnBonfire

He came to all of them with the first pregnancy and has been to all so far with this one. We actually just had a talk about this. Its starting to get a little hectic between routine OB appointments, NT scan, quad screening, and the anatomy scan now scheduled. Its a lot. The docs have evening hours, so neither of us have to take time off work. But, this messes up DS's schedule. Its rush to get home, get DS a little snack since the appointments are usually during his dinner time, rush home, get him fed, and then rush to get him to bed past his bed time. I suggested to DH that maybe its a little much for him to come to all of these things and he got his feelings hurt a little. I don't know. My next appointment is just a blood draw and then the next day is a routine visit. He really doesn't need to be at either, but how about just pick one? 

coybig

I've been to nearly all of them both times around.  now that I SAH, my schedule isn't exactly packed during the day.  I think there may have been one or two appointments I couldn't make because of a game, but they were usually the 10 minute appointments.

abchittam

No. With DS, he came to the initial appointment and the a/s. I was high risk with him and was seen twice a week between 33 & 36 wks. My mom was the one that wheeled me in each time. It was wonderful help because it allowed my husband to work as much as possible. He worked at a crappy hourly job at the time and needed all he could get. Basically every appointment at that point was a huge possibility of being sent to the hospital so he couldn't take off two days a week for that.

This time he went to the initial appointment and that is all he will be going to. I am high risk again so they require that I see the OB instead of the NP every time. I go every two weeks for now and will be going weekly at 16wks. My last appointment, no exaggeration, lasted 2 1/2 hours! While he gets PTO and vacation days, there is no need to waste them on this. Most of the time he is two hours away and it just isn't feasible to take a couple hours off; it would turn into an all day event.
My mom lives nearby and is there at any point that I need her, just like last time.

shamyfowler

He came to almost all appointments the first time, and he plans to do so this time as well. I told him after last appointment that if he didn't want to make it to all, he didn't have to. But he insists on coming with me. He likes to hear the hb, and he helps me remember questions I may have. He really likes to be there. Plus, our doctor is almost 2 hours away, and he doesn't want me going alone. In regards to ghostof5letters question, DH owns his own business. He is a contractor with three employees, so it's easy for him to take the time off.

AKbadwolf

ghostof5letters said:

ETA: I'm curious about the ones that are going to every single appointment. Do your SO's have jobs? Are they taking PTO or do they work flexible schedules or opposite schedules?

DH works salary and spends a lot of time at home after hours and on the weekend fixing issues that crop up since he is the only one that does his job. He will be leaving there starting mid Feb for class and wont be back till end of May so he is trying to make as many appointments as possible. So far he missed one because my Dr's office had to reschedule as the Doc was sick. We have our AS on Feb 11 along with the follow up apt then he wont be home to attend apts

jrockwood

Yes, hubby is there for almost every appointment. He missed my NT test and was really bummed he didn't get to see the u/s. So I'm guessing he won't be missing another appointment.

SuperTinkerham

To answer @ghostof5letters question

Mister just ducks out of the office. We are both pretty fortunate in that we run our own little fiefdoms at our offices and as long as we get our work done nobody gets their panties in a bunch about out of office appointments. We just work through lunch or stay late or listen to conference calls with headphones while in the waiting room. 

Aab7114

My husband wants to come to all of them, which I think is very sweet. I love having him there even if it's only a 15 min appt. He even has his own questions he likes to ask. It's also our first, so that might make it different.

DH works full-time, but works every weekend. His days off are during the week, which makes it easy for him to make it to appointments. Although, he also works 5 min from the md office and can take an hour lunch pretty much whenever he wants.

TurtleMonsters

First time just to US's this time, none so far. I was going to have him come to the MFM 18 wk AS US, but I don't think my son can be there, so he'll have to stay home an watch him.

Jbosarge85

DH went to all of the appointments with DD and has gone to the two with this LO. But he works nights, so we either do it during the day or on his days off. He works 3 12 hour days

cakebatter27

No. DH went to the first 9 wk appt because I thought I'd get an u/s. They didn't do anything.

He worked for my NT scan so my mom went since I hadn't heard or seen lo.

He didn't go to my 4 wk check.

He'll go to the a/s and that's about it.

I kind of think it's weird when guys go to every appointment if it's just a check up. He had better things to do than sit in the waiting room so I can get my blood pressure taken.

dobbyisfree

He came to the first and the ob told him only ultrasounds are worth it since he has to make up his time at work and its not always easy.

MonkeyJD

DH has roughly 6 months of leave built up so having time to take off isn't a problem. He has been to 2 midwife appointments and both ultrasounds. Now that his work day is getting busier I try to schedule things at a time that's best for him in case he wants to come.

TRyan86

Husband came to my ultrasound appointments, but none of my dr's appts. Bought a home Doppler so he can listen there instead

knitsandgiggles

When I got my printed pregnancy summary towards the end of my first pregnancy to keep with me, I found it interesting that they noted every time DH was there in the actual file. Can't imagine what difference that would make if another Dr. had to read the summary, haha.

DinabethL

He comes to all the u/s appts and the first one to hear the heartbeat. Otherwise he stays home with DD so I can get in and out faster.

SaraRL07

FTM here....my husband has only come to my ultrasound appointments.  I also thought there was no need for him to be there for the check ups and I didn't really want him there for the first one amd the pelvic exam...I know his family medical history so there was no reason for him to miss work.  ,  My OB office is 25 mins away from his work.

Just curious for all you ladies whom said your SO came with you for all appointments...was he in the room when you received a pelvic exam?  I don't know why that was a problem for me since he will be in the delivery room in 9 months.

Lola825

DH came to my first appt because is was a viability ultrasound and I needed the support. He will also be there for the anatomy scan but that's likely it. DH drives for a living so he can be anywhere in New England at any given time so if he wants to be there he has to plan his day around leaving early.

He also only has one week vaca and 2 sick days, so we save them for important things and when the baby will be here. Otherwise, I just update him after my appts.

jensavicci

Absolutely. DW doesn't have to be expected to come because I know how much she wants to be there anyway. So, no matter what's happening at work or anywhere else, she never misses it.

runrinserepeat

SaraRL07 said:

FTM here....my husband has only come to my ultrasound appointments.  I also thought there was no need for him to be there for the check ups and I didn't really want him there for the first one amd the pelvic exam...I know his family medical history so there was no reason for him to miss work.  ,  My OB office is 25 mins away from his work.

Just curious for all you ladies whom said your SO came with you for all appointments...was he in the room when you received a pelvic exam?  I don't know why that was a problem for me since he will be in the delivery room in 9 months.

Yeah, he was in the room for the pelvic exam. He's actually pretty familiar with my equipment, so I don't think it was all that weird for him to see me without my pants. I didn't have any problems with it.

SuperTinkerham

I don't see any difference between the pelvic exam and him being there when I did the egg retrieval, embryo transfers, and IUIs and all the exams when I was bleeding. He just laughs and says "Is the doctor going to talk to your vagina today?" It takes a team to make a baby in our case!

helloblueeyes

SaraRL07 said:

FTM here....my husband has only come to my ultrasound appointments.  I also thought there was no need for him to be there for the check ups and I didn't really want him there for the first one amd the pelvic exam...I know his family medical history so there was no reason for him to miss work.  ,  My OB office is 25 mins away from his work.

Just curious for all you ladies whom said your SO came with you for all appointments...was he in the room when you received a pelvic exam?  I don't know why that was a problem for me since he will be in the delivery room in 9 months.

He was in the room, my doc just told him where to stand. He's seen it all anyways, so no big deal to me. 

My DH has come to all but the last which was intake with high risk, and i wish he would have because i actually ended up really needing some support. 

He's a student so it's easy to time them around his schedule. He'll probably come with me to the rest in case i end up with an appointment like the last, i expect a lot more rough appointments with the high risk diagnosis. 

ksuRN09

He came to the first appt because that was an ultrasound and he's coming to the AS obviously but those are probably the only 2 appts he'll go to. It's really difficult for him to get off work so I don't mind going without him. The appts are pretty uneventful.

1982Babies

He arrived after the lightening questions during my first appointment, just in time for the lady bits exam and Doppler, but he missed our second appointment.  We work different shifts, so meeting up at the same time is difficult.  I do, however, hope to get our ultrasound scheduled for when he is off or at least take some time off of work so he can come with me.

jamboree jess

Yep. He was totally freaked out at the first appt when I had a pelvic exam. xD He likes to know what's going on.

MstoMrstoMom851214

My husband has come to all my appointments so far (5) because there was always a chance that I would get an ultrasound (I did 4 out of 5 times).  Our next appointment is our 16 week check-up, and I was debating him not coming, but we haven't heard the heartbeat yet and he wants to hear it.  Plus, if for some reason they couldn't find it with the doppler (they've never tried before), then I would get an ultrasound and he wouldn't want to miss it.  

We're first-timers and he likes to hear all the info from the doctor and ask questions.  I like having him there, but would be okay if he couldn't make it because of work conflicts.  So far, he's been pretty insistent about being there, so we'll see if that continues.

As far as time off, he'll either take a couple hours of sick time (doctor's appointments for wife/kids qualify for STO) or take an extended lunch and work a little later from home after the appointment.  His work is really good about time off for appointments, and he has a ton of STO built up since he never calls in sick.

lolobeach

My husband goes to the big ones and any others if he's able. I've told him that it's not necessary, but he likes to hear things first hand. With DS he went to almost all of them because I was high risk and he felt like had to drive me anyway.

cbpj2012

My husband comes to all of them, but it's our first and he's excited to be a part of everything. He's a teacher, so we just schedule them at the end of the day after school.

RoxanneA

With my first he went to a few but after that he goes to the 20 week and then the last one or two.

Aab7114

SaraRL07 said:

FTM here....my husband has only come to my ultrasound appointments.  I also thought there was no need for him to be there for the check ups and I didn't really want him there for the first one amd the pelvic exam...I know his family medical history so there was no reason for him to miss work.  ,  My OB office is 25 mins away from his work.

Just curious for all you ladies whom said your SO came with you for all appointments...was he in the room when you received a pelvic exam?  I don't know why that was a problem for me since he will be in the delivery room in 9 months.

Yeah he was there during the pelvic/Pap smear. He was sitting by my head and I had a drape covering my bottom half. The doc did a transvaginal u/s and immediately after asked if she could just get that out of the way. If it would have been separated, I would have asked him whether he wanted to stay or not. I really wouldn't have cared either way, since he probably knows that area better than me hehe!

Eta: or maybe she asked to do the pelvic and pap first then the u/s...I can't remember. Either way, I was in the same position for both.

nicoletteb

DH has been to all appointments. I always schedule my appointments on his days off ( he doesn't have a Mon-Fri job which makes it easier), so it hasn't been a problem thus far. I'm always a little nervous before every appointment, so it's nice having him there to reassure me.

After the anatomy scan, I wouldn't mind if he couldn't make it.

huggabunch

My husband comes to all of the appts. He works 3 12hr shifts a week and I work 4 10hr shifts so we work appts around our schedules. It's our first and he really really wants to be there and gets so excited. It's cute.

cookieinva

I didn't read all responses but heck no, he does not. Neither of us sees the point. Honestly I don't see the point a lot of times even for me!

He didn't last time either; for that one he just went tot he a/s. He may not even come tot hat this time since we already got Panorama test results.

stella_blu

He came to all of my appointments with our first. For our second, he was working out of town for most of the pregnancy and made it to maybe 2 regulars and all ultrasounds. I've only had 2 appointments so far and he's been to one. He will be at the a/s next week and then will come if it's convenient and someone is available to watch the other two kids but I'm sure that will be very rare.

honeybee434

So far DH has been to them all except my Quad screen blood draw that took 5 minutes. Not sure if he will keep going to them all, we will see. He has a flexible come and go schedule so I just make sure my appointments aren't during his busiest hours of the day. He was there during my pelvic exam, neither of us minded. He actually felt a little bad for me because he didn't realize that I have to do that at least once a year. Ha.

AutumnBonfire

SaraRL07 said:

FTM here....my husband has only come to my ultrasound appointments.  I also thought there was no need for him to be there for the check ups and I didn't really want him there for the first one amd the pelvic exam...I know his family medical history so there was no reason for him to miss work.  ,  My OB office is 25 mins away from his work.

Just curious for all you ladies whom said your SO came with you for all appointments...was he in the room when you received a pelvic exam?  I don't know why that was a problem for me since he will be in the delivery room in 9 months.

When they did the pap smear with my first pregnancy, DH wanted to be there because he wanted to know what one was. He seriously watched the entire thing standing over the physician's assistant's shoulder while she explained the procedure. It didn't bother me at all and the nurse and I laughed our asses off the entire time. There is really no mystery left in our marriage. 

January Bride

DH has come to all my appointments so far because it's our first kid and we like getting the chance to ask questions.  Now that we know what to expect at each appointment, I definitely guess that he will only come to the u/s appointments next time.  Not sure, though - it is a nice thought that he would be there for me if we got any bad news from any other tests.

He takes it VERY seriously   At my last appointment my OB said that I was iron deficient, and DH went and read an entire chapter on iron from a nutrition textbook from a class he took in high school.  He kept reading me passages about ways to keep my iron levels up.  He's a huge dork but it was really cute how into it he was.

To answer the question about time off, DH and I both work salaried positions where we have a lot of flexibility.  We just block off our calendars for appointments when we need it, because our employers know that we work from home most nights/on weekends and we will definitely make up the time later.

To answer the question about pelvic exams, yes, DH was in the room when I got mine.  The doctor told him that he could stand up by my shoulders.  He freaked out later because he thought it was so weird that the OB and I kept talking throughout the entire exam.  He said that he has never talked to a doctor during an exam like that for guy issues.  I asked him - isn't that MORE awkward to do the whole thing in silence?    Anyway, it was funny.

Pinksundrops

I was wondering about this very thing today! DH has so far, but when I scheduled my next appointment a month out I told him he didn't have to be there if he didn't want to, but he does want to. He's salaried so he can block out his schedule on those days. We go early in the morning so he just goes in a little later and stays a little later. We also have a midwife and the appointments haven't been less than an hour. This is our first in thirteen years, and first time to attend regular appointments (had prenatal care with first two just different situations), so I think he's pretty excited to be there. Also I think he wants to be there for me since I'm pretty nervous this time after a miscarriage last year and a different midwife this time around for the prenatal care.

I was so wondering about the pelvic exam too since I'll be getting one at my next appointment. After reading responses, I think I'll ask if he cares and ask him not to look if he is in the room. I'm so talkative the whole time because the silence is awkward. Plus, they are super uncomfortable so talking through it makes me not think about it hurting.