UO

Luthy · January 2014

flerlgirl said:
I am loving that @luthy has returned just to school us in Latin

I logged in JUST FOR THAT

I'm a classicist and a librarian I LITERALLY CANNOT HELP MYSELF

BLT20051 · January 2014

BC&LM said:

PinkPuffyHeart2 said:

This may get me flamed but look... It's almost 3 am, and I literally woke up from a crappy cold infested sleep with this uo in my head...

Marriage is the only relationship where we make a legally binding commitment, before God, to another person. While I definitely agree that there are valid reasons for divorce, I also believe that in some situations (like mine) it takes a stronger person to stay in the marriage and work things out, than it does to leave. When you get married you make vows... Mine said "for better or for worse".

I agree to a certain extent, but if one person is cheating, I find it completely acceptable for the other person to seek a divorce. It's not just an issue of trust at that point; it's endangering that person's health too (STDs, etc.)

ETA: Oh, and how did I forget this. Physical abuse is unacceptable. That equals automatic divorce for me too.

ET also add: Emotional abuse is a no go too. I guess basically what I meant by saying I agree to a certain extent is that I think it's bullshit when someone is like, "I need to find myself" or wants to get out of a marriage because they feel trapped or because times get a little tough after having a baby. Get some counseling, reassess, and then go through with it if it still makes sense down the road. But if there's cheating, emotional, or physical abuse, proceed to the nearest exit.

So you get to dictate when it's ok for someone to end a marriage? Who died and made you the all knowing? Honestly we just don't get along, it's that simple. I feel no love toward the man I married and I deserve to be happy. Fuck what you think.

Luthy · January 2014

Buuuut I wasn't touching the rest of it with a 39.5 foot pole.

BLT20051 · January 2014

GiggleJiggle said:
My UO: Smoking should be one of the first habits to go when you're in a tough situation financially. I gave a man 5 dollars the other day on a corner near my house and when I was driving past him again later that morning he was smoking a cigarette. Quite honestly, it pissed me off. You say you're hungry, but just bought a pack of cigarettes with money that could have paid for 1-2 meals.

Addictions suck. It's not that easy to just quit b

CocoMcGee · January 2014

BLT20051 said:

PinkPuffyHeart2 said:

This may get me flamed but look... It's almost 3 am, and I literally woke up from a crappy cold infested sleep with this uo in my head... Marriage is the only relationship where we make a legally binding commitment, before God, to another person. While I definitely agree that there are valid reasons for divorce, I also believe that in some situations (like mine) it takes a stronger person to stay in the marriage and work things out, than it does to leave. When you get married you make vows... Mine said "for better or for worse".

I agree to a certain extent, but if one person is cheating, I find it completely acceptable for the other person to seek a divorce. It's not just an issue of trust at that point; it's endangering that person's health too (STDs, etc.)

ETA: Oh, and how did I forget this. Physical abuse is unacceptable. That equals automatic divorce for me too.

ET also add: Emotional abuse is a no go too. I guess basically what I meant by saying I agree to a certain extent is that I think it's bullshit when someone is like, "I need to find myself" or wants to get out of a marriage because they feel trapped or because times get a little tough after having a baby. Get some counseling, reassess, and then go through with it if it still makes sense down the road. But if there's cheating, emotional, or physical abuse, proceed to the nearest exit.
So you get to dictate when it's ok for someone to end a marriage? Who died and made you the all knowing? Honestly we just don't get along, it's that simple. I feel no love toward the man I married and I deserve to be happy. Fuck what you think.

Your fieriness clearly extends beyond your hair, and I like that.

BC&LM · January 2014

Gavel said:

Green candies should only be lime flavored, never apple. Apple flavored skittles are an abomination. Bring back the lime.

(anyone smell a hint in this UO?)

Skittles are an abomination period. Blech!!!!!!

tiffletons518 · January 2014

BC&LM said:

Gavel said:

Green candies should only be lime flavored, never apple. Apple flavored skittles are an abomination. Bring back the lime.

(anyone smell a hint in this UO?)

Skittles are an abomination period. Blech!!!!!!

You're fired.

Gavel · January 2014

My Grandma used to buy food for her kids and cigarettes for herself. She said they curb your appetite and 1 pack went further than 1 meal for herself. They were poor.

BunnyLove416 · January 2014

GiggleJiggle said:

My UO: Smoking should be one of the first habits to go when you're in a tough situation financially. I gave a man 5 dollars the other day on a corner near my house and when I was driving past him again later that morning he was smoking a cigarette. Quite honestly, it pissed me off. You say you're hungry, but just bought a pack of cigarettes with money that could have paid for 1-2 meals.

Meh I feel like once I give the money it's up to them what they do with it, I'm under no delusion that most homeless have the best decision making skills. I judge more when it's someone who constantly complains about having no money and yet goes drinking and smoking constantly without making any attempt to make changes, it's hard but be an adult and at least try to take the first steps.

ColieAnn31 · January 2014

GiggleJiggle said:
My UO: Smoking should be one of the first habits to go when you're in a tough situation financially. I gave a man 5 dollars the other day on a corner near my house and when I was driving past him again later that morning he was smoking a cigarette. Quite honestly, it pissed me off. You say you're hungry, but just bought a pack of cigarettes with money that could have paid for 1-2 meals.

Although I agree with this, I come from a family where addiction is being struggled with from multiple family members. I try not to judge because of my family experience because I'm sure some of my family members would probably do the same thing that man did. I'm not saying it's ok but it's just not something I get too worked up over. Addictions aren't easy to shake.

Gavel · January 2014

Also who's to say he bought that pack with your money? Maybe he already had them, maybe someone gave it to him, maybe found a half smoked one in the street and lit it up.

Regardless it's just so much fun to judge the homeless people isn't it?

>:P

chelsmcl · January 2014

Wow...
-I think poptarts are gross.
-green apple anything is disgusting.
-there are many reasons to end a bad marriage. I would rather sin and get divorced than spend my whole life being miserable.
I'm going back to work in 6 weeks but I don't feel like I fit in with working moms or SAHM because my daughter won't be in daycare, I'll be scheduling my appointments for when DH is home, I could SAH but I love working and I love money

BLT20051 · January 2014

Gavel said:
Also who's to say he bought that pack with your money? Maybe he already had them, maybe someone gave it to him, maybe found a half smoked one in the street and lit it up.

Regardless it's just so much fun to judge the homeless people isn't it?

>:P

Easiest way to bring yourself up a notch

GraceInCA · January 2014

My godless marriage has been strong, joyful, filled with love and respect and laughter since Clinton was in office. I've been married longer than some of the people on this board have been legal adults. We are so connected that we're more like a single unit than separate people married to each other. We were the subject of someone's wedding speech not that long ago about their ideal of a great marriage. No God needed here, thanks.

Being SAH vs. working mom? Hang on, let me look at the calender. 2014? Right. I guess The Doctor brought some people back from 1952 with him to share their views on rearing children. Someone should make sure they have a snack for their trip back in time.

Peeps? I could take 'em or leave 'em. I'm not a processed foods person but my older kid likes them, so you know, whatever.

Mac is better than PC. This is a known fact.

I have never made a trip to the market where at least 3 of us ladies WEREN'T in Lululemon yoga pants. I thought it was mandatory.

I feel bad for PPH. I think not only is her marriage deeply damaged, but she's not approaching the entire matter in an appropriate, mature way. I hope that counseling helps.

I predict in 5 years, Wilson will be twice divorced and all her unvaccinated kids will be in a state-funded daycare while she works the pole for the lunch shift crowd. Just kidding. But she is dumb, so you never know.

My big OU: I think SeaWorld should be shut down entirely, and zoos should be much more highly regulated. I wish we as a culture understood how cruel it is to keep most animals in captivity.

Diana909 · January 2014

What is UO?

BLT20051 · January 2014

Grace I have a crush on you.

Diana909 · January 2014

CL8badB said:

Unpopular Opinion

Thank you. No wonder this post is a hot mess.

sheacox · January 2014

haha... i totes used to lead many discussions in here on Skittles... #greenapple4lyfe!

sheacox · January 2014

CatalinaPink said:

When anyone mentions black fish, I bring up the cove.

I have a friend who is leaving this year to go work at the Cove with the Sea Shepard.... i can't imagine

llbta85 · January 2014

@CatalinaPink, I saw that movie, it has scarred me for life. I used to love the dolphin shows at the Aquarium and now I just want to cry when I see them. I love seeing all the fish, but it just breaks my heart.

tiffletons518 · January 2014

Half days of school are a waste. I say this coming from a parental point of view. I'm sure it's totally different for a teacher. It seems like no more do I get DD1 to school, but I am back to go pick her up. She had a half day today and another tomorrow. So, 2 days I can't really get into too much because I have to stop what I'm doing midday, which also usually involves messing up LO's nap, to go back. It would make more sense to me to do a full day today and then just no school tomorrow. It's pretty much the same thing, yes?

flerlgirl · January 2014

Oh, I have an actual UO now instead of just opinions on other people's UOs:

I think it is absolute BS that people think because they prayed for me/Josh that it means I am now obligated to be friends with them forever and they can do say/whatever and then act shocked that I am bugged because they prayed for my son. I get this all the time and it pisses me off. I am so grateful for everyone's Ts and Ps that I cannot even express it. I will never ever forget the massive amounts of support we received and it changed my life forever. But, seriously, step back and get some perspective: You prayed for a dying infant and that has somehow earned you a Nobel Peace Prize? No. Doing a good deed doesn't excuse you from being a decent person.

tiffletons518 · January 2014

flerlgirl said:

Oh, I have an actual UO now instead of just opinions on other people's UOs:

I think it is absolute BS that people think because they prayed for me/Josh that it means I am now obligated to be friends with them forever and they can do say/whatever and then act shocked that I am bugged because they prayed for my son. I get this all the time and it pisses me off. I am so grateful for everyone's Ts and Ps that I cannot even express it. I will never ever forget the massive amounts of support we received and it changed my life forever. But, seriously, step back and get some perspective: You prayed for a dying infant and that has somehow earned you a Nobel Peace Prize? No. Doing a good deed doesn't excuse you from being a decent person.

Exactly. It's not a good deed if you only do it for the recognition you receive.

tttwalters · January 2014

Appareantly I need to go and buy skittles.

phishgirl29 · January 2014

I lol-ed at the divorce is off the table IF my spouse:

Cheats

Physical abuse

Emotional abuse

Lied

I mean, come the fuck on! To say that divorce is not an option really bothers me. I shutter to think that some of my fellow bumpies will live their lives with a man/partner that they are unhappy with just because they are married. I work very hard making sure my marriage is a priority but in no way will my wonderful husband be the the only source of my happiness.

phishgirl29 · January 2014

tiffletons518 said:

Half days of school are a waste. I say this coming from a parental point of view. I'm sure it's totally different for a teacher.

They are a waste for teacher too. The only reason I like them is that they don't count as snow days that you need to make up at the end of the year.

sheacox · January 2014

tiffletons518 said:

Half days of school are a waste. I say this coming from a parental point of view. I'm sure it's totally different for a teacher. It seems like no more do I get DD1 to school, but I am back to go pick her up. She had a half day today and another tomorrow. So, 2 days I can't really get into too much because I have to stop what I'm doing midday, which also usually involves messing up LO's nap, to go back. It would make more sense to me to do a full day today and then just no school tomorrow. It's pretty much the same thing, yes?

I'm a teacher so i can explain. It isn't the same... a half day counts a day. Each school is required by law to have students attend 180 days per year... so those two half days count as 2 days where as if they did one day off it would only count as 1 day. so it's a technicallity. I can see how it disrupts and makes it hard for day care but trust me... the teachers are not just having a fun day. we are probably in a required meeting. bleh... i have one tomorrow

nikel13 · January 2014

H and I have come to the agreement that divorce isn't an option. We'll kill each other first...JK. I think that there are reasons to get divorced. I think the reason why the rate has increased over the years is because people are no longer pressured to stay in marriages because it is the right thing to do. In the 1930s, '40s, and '50s, it was unacceptable to divorce. You had to stay in it because that was the proper thing. Propriety doesn't apply in a bad situation.

tiffletons518 · January 2014

sheacox said:

tiffletons518 said:

Half days of school are a waste. I say this coming from a parental point of view. I'm sure it's totally different for a teacher. It seems like no more do I get DD1 to school, but I am back to go pick her up. She had a half day today and another tomorrow. So, 2 days I can't really get into too much because I have to stop what I'm doing midday, which also usually involves messing up LO's nap, to go back. It would make more sense to me to do a full day today and then just no school tomorrow. It's pretty much the same thing, yes?

I'm a teacher so i can explain. It isn't the same... a half day counts a day. Each school is required by law to have students attend 180 days per year... so those two half days count as 2 days where as if they did one day off it would only count as 1 day. so it's a technicallity. I can see how it disrupts and makes it hard for day care but trust me... the teachers are not just having a fun day. we are probably in a required meeting. bleh... i have one tomorrow

Ooh. Yeah that's totally stupid. Lol. I figured that you (the teachers) probably got stuck there after the kids left anyway. So, in my mind it would be better for all parties involved to have full day one day, then no school the next. But, I get it now. I still think it's a total p.i.t.a, but I get it.

eta- I can't with words today

sparklemotion86 · January 2014

PPH2 complains too much and @nykkolaughs doesn't complain enough.

There is just no pleasing you women! :P

BC&LM · January 2014

BLT20051 said:

PinkPuffyHeart2 said:

This may get me flamed but look... It's almost 3 am, and I literally woke up from a crappy cold infested sleep with this uo in my head... Marriage is the only relationship where we make a legally binding commitment, before God, to another person. While I definitely agree that there are valid reasons for divorce, I also believe that in some situations (like mine) it takes a stronger person to stay in the marriage and work things out, than it does to leave. When you get married you make vows... Mine said "for better or for worse".

I agree to a certain extent, but if one person is cheating, I find it completely acceptable for the other person to seek a divorce. It's not just an issue of trust at that point; it's endangering that person's health too (STDs, etc.)

ETA: Oh, and how did I forget this. Physical abuse is unacceptable. That equals automatic divorce for me too.

ET also add: Emotional abuse is a no go too. I guess basically what I meant by saying I agree to a certain extent is that I think it's bullshit when someone is like, "I need to find myself" or wants to get out of a marriage because they feel trapped or because times get a little tough after having a baby. Get some counseling, reassess, and then go through with it if it still makes sense down the road. But if there's cheating, emotional, or physical abuse, proceed to the nearest exit.
So you get to dictate when it's ok for someone to end a marriage? Who died and made you the all knowing? Honestly we just don't get along, it's that simple. I feel no love toward the man I married and I deserve to be happy. Fuck what you think.

I most certainly don't get to dictate and am far from all-knowing. And I didn't say that people shouldn't be entitled to a divorce if they want it. I have friends and family who are divorced, and they are much happier for it. I just think that sometimes people need to try to work certain issues out before they consider divorce, which is why I said "get some counseling, reassess, and then go through with it if it still makes sense down the road." After seeing a friend go through a situation with her husband where he suddenly decided he needed to "find himself," I just think it's selfish if one person decides, "I am done" and walks away without trying to work it out. In their case, they went to counseling, worked it out, and decided against divorce, even though it was a big possibility at one point. She learned why he was feeling the way he was, and he learned how his reaction to their situation made her feel. If after that, they had decided it was best to part ways, more power to them. But I liked the fact that they gave it a shot first, and in this case, it did work out.

sheacox · January 2014

^^i'm sure it wasn't as 'sudden' as your friend thinks and/or told people... most times people are unhappy for awhile before they officially say something and other person doesn't notice or is in denial.

however, glad they worked it out!

*edit for hitting enter too early

No longer the best · January 2014

I don't like Poptarts (I mean I would/have eaten them but I've got WAY better things to waste calories on).

I don't like Peeps (at least if they are what i think they are - do we have them in Canada?)

The working Mom thing - I will be going back to work when my Mat Leave is over. Could we possibly make it work for me to SAH? Yes. But I like my job and I want to work (ideally I would work only 3 days a week but that's not an option at this time).

My Mom quit working to be with us until we were in high school. She was there for everything. But she felt like she seriously missed out on her career and as soon as my little brother was in high school she practically became a workaholic (she has actually slept under her desk at her office before). She was getting frustrated that my labour was so long because she 'had a really important meeting at work'. Now that I"m a Mom I have a new respect for her. She sacrificed EVERYTHING for us for 15 years and is trying to make up for lost time. So I plan to do things a bit differently.

That's my situation not that I need to justify myself.

BC&LM · January 2014

sheacox said:

^^i'm sure it wasn't as 'sudden' as your friend thinks and/or told people... most times people are unhappy for awhile before they officially say something and other person doesn't notice or is in denial.
however, glad they worked it out!
*edit for hitting enter too early

Since I only know what she tells me, it very well could have been gradual, and she just didn't realize it. It just felt sudden to her. They hadn't had any of the obvious signs of trouble like fighting and all. However, I wouldn't be surprised if there were less obvious signs, like becoming distant, that she just didn't pick up on right away. We see what we want to see!

KellenHi21 · January 2014

Grace I pph you. Totally agree with everything you said! (except- I hate peeps!!)

tiffletons518 · January 2014

sctiger said:

Half days of school are a waste. I say this coming from a parental point of view. I'm sure it's totally different for a teacher. It seems like no more do I get DD1 to school, but I am back to go pick her up. She had a half day today and another tomorrow. So, 2 days I can't really get into too much because I have to stop what I'm doing midday, which also usually involves messing up LO's nap, to go back. It would make more sense to me to do a full day today and then just no school tomorrow. It's pretty much the same thing, yes?
Then you wouldn't get your required 180 days. Teachers think they are a pain though. The kids are usually misbehaving and you can't get anything done.

Right. They think they're a screw off day. Lame.

JANCANDANCE · January 2014

Oh good morning Hawaii 5-0...nice of you to join us.

PinkPuffyHeart2 · January 2014

micabush said:

PinkPuffyHeart2 said:

Seashell002 said:
@pinkpuffyheart2 Have you asked him to go to marriage counseling with you?
No. We did premarital counseling and it brought up a ton of issues (not about our relationship but issues that would affect our relationship, if that makes sense) and talking it out made things worse in my opinion... And we fought real hard our first 3 months of marriage. So to be honest, I am the one who doesn't want it-- but-- I would totally do it... And I can see how we really may need to now.

I hate calling people out, because honestly I'm not in your shoes and I can't relate to what you are going through with your husband, but this is leaving me scratching my head.

If you couldn't talk about it/work through it BEFORE you were married, what made you think it'd be an option after you got married? I'm genuinely curious about your answer here. You kind of knew what you were getting into here, if talking about "issues" didn't work. I agree that this is a place to vent about things, but I admit that it seems like the same "issues" you vent about over and over and nothing is changing. I second the suggestion for counseling. I really do hope you can work things out for what is best for everyone involved, and I'm very sorry you are struggling with this. But do please get help.

Not that we couldn't work through it in counseling, but I didn't want to. We were happy before premarital counseling and the issues brought up were not problems in our relationship but do affect our relationship. For example, me being sexually abused as a child. That is just one example. And I did not feel ready to delve into it with a counselor. I did individual "counseling" for it with my church a few years back and recounting the memories was very hard, so I didn't want to do it again. That's just one example on my side, and my h has his own issues from his past too. The premarital counselor would not discuss these things anyway bc it was not part of the package. We would need to pay for extra sessions and we did not have the extra income for that either.

We set up a counseling date fwiw...

KellenHi21 · January 2014

JANCANDANCE said:

Oh good morning Hawaii 5-0...nice of you to join us.

GOOD MORNING!!!

BC&LM · January 2014

NikkiP15 said:

Speaking of zoos, I have a whole new perspective on animals in captivity after watching "Blackfish". Some animals are fine in captivity, but not all.
Ah! Blackfish is not a truthful documentary.

I'm not going to jump too much into the debate on Blackfish since I haven't seen it yet, but I do know a lot of documentaries end up being a bit one-sided. I doubt Blackfish mentions all the work SeaWorld did/does with the Gulf Oil spill animals or with injured manatees. I am not saying that excuses anything bad they have done, but I think a truly unbiased documentary shows both the bad and the good of a particular subject.

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