Who is in with you?

TonyaCody06 · December 2013

Just DH for all 3 kids. May have a friend photographer in room this last time but only for photography reasons.

Mrs Gurule · December 2013

it will just be me and my husband.
some people may find it sentimental..
i just find it MENTAL!
me and my husband created this child
and me and my husband will be
there for the birth of it. period.
i don't want anyone staring at
my business no matter how
beautiful the moment may be❤️LOL

whoberry · December 2013

DH & medical personnel only. I am sure DH is going to make me crazy. He gets these ideas about what I should do to help combat pain that are not even remotely helpful. Hopefully the midwives, etc will keep him in check.

Your MIL sounds like a real PITA.

LegalLadyBug · December 2013

With DD it was just DH and my OB and nurses. This time I'll be delivering in an OR incase they need to do an emergency c section, so I'm limited on how many people I can have in there. DH will be there and possibly my mother. With DD we lived 3000 miles away so there wasn't an option of having other people, but my mom is actually a nurse on the maternity floor at the hospital and I won't say no if she wants to be there this time now that we live back home.

MIL arrived just as DD came out and was one of the first to see her, but not in the delivery room. I wouldn't want her in the room but she pretty much ran away when the nurses suggested I try breast feeding after DD arrived so I don't think I have to worry about her wanting to be there lol

babyt614 · December 2013

I don't mind if my mom and sister are there during initial contractions but everyone but DH and the medical professionals are OUT when it comes time to push- even if that ends up being hours.

flerlgirl · December 2013

Also, OP, tell the nurses who you do and don't want! They will run interference for you. I haven't read allthewords so my apologies if this has been suggested.

tddampf · December 2013

DH and that's it. We will also be spending about a hour alone with our baby before anyone else is welcome in the room to visit

nlmosley · December 2013

What state are you in? Ive been told that in California, grandparents dont have rights. (DS's grandma is nuts!) She'll get over it.

hopin4babies · December 2013

I really only want my husband and mom to be in there but my MIL wants to be as well. Thats fine with me I'm just worried she will stress me out but my husband already told her she has to stay calm. We are close with both of our moms and they have both been wanting this just as long as we have so unless I get stressed with everyone in there both moms and hubby will be there.

steffs440 · December 2013

Just my SO. Maaaaybe my mom. I'm not sure yet.

AndreaC428 · December 2013

DH only -
My mum/dad will be allowed in the room prior to the main event, but absolutely no MIL and no FIL. I love them, but it will just stress me out. I can already imagine the reaction we're going to get when explaining "the rules" to my ILs. I'll let DH be the "baby room bouncer."

babygabe614 · December 2013

It will only be DH and I in the room. I'm thankful that my MIL and I don't have the type of relationship where she'd have the gall to try and push her opinion on that on me, and I can only imagine what a tough conversation that is for you (and PPs facing the same problem) to have!

katekat8721 · December 2013

Just DH and I. My MIL hasn't mentioned if she wants to be there, but she lives out of town so it shouldn't be an issue. My mom is throwing a fit she's not allowed in. We give birth in the operating room for twins, so that issue took care of itself. Sorry mom, doc says no!

arekeweg · December 2013

DH and the medical team only. I probably wouldn't mind my mom but I know she is not good with blood and stuff so I'm sure she would pass out. My parents have never asked to be in the room for my 7 nieces and nephews so I'm sure they won't for this one either.

I can see my MIL wanting to be in the delivery room because she wasn't able to get pregnant and thus, no delivery. She was also a biology teacher so I'm sure she would want to see it all. But NO WAY IN HELL will I allow it! They drive me crazy already and when I am going through labor, I can only imagine the things I would say to them (it would not be good).

babybean82 · December 2013

My MIL has been telling everyone she will be in the delivery room with us because she didn't get to be in there with BIL's wife..... But there is no way I am going to allow that. I also kind of don't want anyone else at the hospital until after baby comes and we get our alone time first. I know a lot happens with the mom right after a baby comes and it might be a while before I even get to meet baby, I don't like the idea of extended family getting to meet baby before I do.

I am probably going to have to have a planned induction because I am diabetic and I am thinking about maybe not even telling anyone about it until after so we can be alone at the hospital, but I suck at lying so that might be hard.

becomingmommyagain · December 2013

My mom casually announced at thanksgiving, moments after our big announcement that she would be there for the birth. I'm not thinking so. For DS #1 it was my ex-H and parents, I was 18 and I wanted my mom there. For DD I was 19, I had DH and mom, again, I wanted her there. For DS #2, it was ex-H and MIL. I had my mom keep DS &DD. I thought it was fair since mom had been there for my oldest two.

My two sisters had the entire family present for their oldest two children. They were also young when they had there's. Little sister's third child was just her and SO and they're other kids...

SIL allowed only my mom and brother.

I'm now 35 and DH and I have a lot more invested in this pregnancy. I'm older, I'm secure in my marriage, financially stable. We moved cross country 7 years ago and I'm just not as close to my family as I was when I was younger. In a lot of ways I feel like I've grown up and they stayed the same....or regressed even. Fortunately we live 12+ hours away and there will be no popping in. And my MIL is in France....

My issue now is DH. He says he doesn't want to be in the room for the delivery. He also says he didn't want to be there for my ultrasounds and embryo transfers while TTC.... but he was there for every appointment. I would really love it to be DH & I only since we've been through so much to get where we are.

MaidMarion25 · December 2013

Hell no! No one else is allowed in except DH and medical staff!

emandjp · December 2013

Besides the obvious OB and nursest, I had my husband and very best friend. MIL didn't even mention coming in the room, thankfully. Sadly my Mom passed away 8 years ago and I would give anything to have her be there. The last time, we taped pictures of her to my iv stand and will do the same this time.

verydisgruntledpelican0091 · December 2013

If I have to be there then so does my DF. I'm thinking of having a friend in there with me but that's up for debate. Not my mom. Love her but I can see myself getting out of hand and saying something I shouldn't lol.

MrsP419 · December 2013

With DD, it was just DH and I (+ the nurses). I wish I had someone else, like a nurse-friend. It was a really rough experience. With DS, it was DH and my little sister, which proved to be very useful because she operated the camera :-). This time, I want to have DH and my mom, but I am not sure if I will be allowed anyone but DH; I think I have to give birth in an OR no matter what.

kcartwright12 · December 2013

No way would I let my MIL in the delivery room! I don't even want my mom in there. Look if you weren't there is the process of making this baby, then you can wait in the waiting until after the baby arrives.

The only folks in our delivery room with be hubby, me and our doctor and nurse.

sacarroll1983 · December 2013

This is my first pregnancy, so to be honest I am not sure what I want. I don't think I will mind people being around for the labor but depending on how the process goes, I have already reserved the right to kick people out as they annoy me. If they think that they will be offended, they can stay at home for the whole process. My MIL isn't pushy, but I know it would mean a lot to her, so I am willing to try. But I reserve the right if I get uncomfortable with too many people around to ask them to leave.

ElTrain5 · December 2013

megknarez said:
I'm definitely not having anyone extra staring at my biscuit. Just me and my guy.

My mother and future MIL are welcome to stay at out house, watch the dog, and drink wine until we get home from the hospital-- if they even get there in time. My mom lives 1,000 miles away and MIL lives 2,000 miles away.

Biscuit! New fav nickname!! Please tell me your from the south. That whole first sentence would sound so cute with a southern accent

bebemac · December 2013

My mom said she would be there to keep my husband company. I will not allow her in the room until the birth is over - it will just be me and hubby. I didn't feel the need, at 8 weeks pregnant at the time, to make a stink about it, but she has another thing coming! Plus, my husband will be tending to me and won't need any company.

bebemac · December 2013

joules235 said:

bebemac said:

My mom said she would be there to keep my husband company. I will not allow her in the room until the birth is over - it will just be me and hubby. I didn't feel the need, at 8 weeks pregnant at the time, to make a stink about it, but she has another thing coming! Plus, my husband will be tending to me and won't need any company.

Wait what?! Why would you DH need company?

Good question! It's not like he'll be just sitting there bored and twiddling his thumbs until the baby comes out!

efino87 · April 2014

I wanted to bring this thread back up and see how everyone was feeling about this topic now that it is getting closer to baby time. I am struggling with keeping my DH's entire extended family (grandparents, his aunts, uncles, ect.) out of the delivery room right after baby is born. With my DD they showed up within 20 minutes of me giving birth and all came in the room uninvited. I hadn't been cleaned up yet and I was surrounded by my DH's entire family. Lovely.

I don't want to go through this again, but I am not sure how to go about informing them. I would prefer they wait until we get moved to recovery. Anyone else have any insight on dealing with big groups?

lest12 · April 2014

I don't know. I can't keep my family from coming to the waiting room, but they just better be ready to wait until I'm ready to see them. I told DH, in the labor room, maybe my mom and sister can come in and give me a quick hello, but that's it. No one else until we've had our own time to bond with the baby.

Rosebud2587 · April 2014

With DD it was DH and my mother. This time it will just be DH since my mother can't get off of work to visit until the end of June.

I would NEVER allow my MIL to be in the room. I just wouldn't be comfortable with that at all.

sparklenshine_89 · April 2014

My DH was there for the first, my mom was there for the second (bc dh worked) and dh will be there for this one. But my MIL...hell no! I'd rather be alone.

katekat8721 · April 2014

My decision hasn't changed, it'll still be just DH and I in the (operating) room. I did find out though that my mom can come see me in recovery, which I'd like since I don't do well with anesthesia. Then it's baby bonding time and then the selected family (mom, dad, grandparents and sis/FBIL) can come in and see us. I don't want any other visitors dropping in at the hospital.

tbmadeamistake · April 2014

Both of our families seem to respond to boundaries really well. With C, it was DH, the doula and I. This time no doula. We called when she arrived. My parents drove up after we told them we had been moved to our room, and we had two hours during the drive to get situated. I think my ILs waited until visiting hours that afternoon (she was born at 4:36am). I never really had to lay down the rules, but I did mention in my IL's hearing that it would be just us until she arrived, as this was their first grandbaby and I didn't know what they may or may not expect. Seeing how my MIL reacted to my nursing (walked out of the room every. single. time.), I don't think she'd come to the delivery if I sent her an engraved invite. My mom would come if I asked, but I liked it being just DH and I last time, so we'll stick to that.

lellymine · April 2014

We're still firm on wanting it to be just DH and I. We've decided to tell the nurses that we want no visitors for a few hours while I recover and then have family bonding. Then the nurses can be the bad guys if DH's family decides to not respect our wishes.

Mrs_D_in_KY · April 2014

We told everyone that unless you were at the conception, then you wouldn't be at the birth. That shut them all up.

I know my MIL was there for her other 3 grand kids births. But sorry no dice on our oldest or this new baby. DH and I both put our foot down. We are the parents, so our rules apply first. Grand parents have no "rights."

Otherwise the labor and delivery nurses will gladly be the "bad guy."

babygabe614 · April 2014

It's just gonna be DH & I. It's such a special and intimate moment that I just don't feel comfortable sharing with anyone else.

Tell your MIL she can shove it.

jshrop · April 2014

Ugh, my mil visited recently and guilted me. She mentioned that she wasn't "present" during her own births so she wants to be there to see LO born. I agreed. Can we have fingers crossed that baby comes before her plane?

kbellizio3 · April 2014

DH only in the room, my mom has already said she doesnt want to be in there. We'll be telling my parents and ILs when I go into labor most likely (depending on the time of day), but we live 10 minutes from the hospital so they can easily hang out at our house while I'm in labor if they decide to come down during that time. Or my dad could conceivably be down already doing house repairs when I go into labor, in which case he'd just chill with the dog most likely (he's down almost every weekend).

I did have one friend who kept insisting she was going to be in the room with me and I finally had to be a little mean with her to get her to realize I was serious when I said no. She doesn't live too far from the hospital so I told her I would have DH text her when I'm up for visitors.

Pepper6 · April 2014

We're still set on just DH being in the room for the delivery (I'm okay with our parents being there while I'm laboring, but they'll leave when it's time to push).

Luckily our families have been on board with this from day one. I know my mom still hopes I'll change my mind, but I don't think she actually expects me to.

cinnamonsmiles · April 2014

DH (hopefully), my good friend (who will be my birth coach/stand-in for H if necessary), and if I have another friend drive me to the hospital she is welcome to stay as she'll be having a baby two months later (and she's a pretty close friend).

as for family, NONE. even if I go over and he's born close to their arrival on the 2nd, DH and I agreed that my mom will be nowhere near me as she stresses me out on a normal day, much less labor day. thankfully my dad totally gets this so I won't have to worry about it. none of DH's family either, as they will be flying to visit in Sept.

Hairstylist16 · April 2014

My MIL thought she had the same right and just as a coincidence my husband told her that wasn't happening the day my water broke and son was born. I don't get along with my MIL and she's the last person on earth that would be in the room with me seeing all my private business. I'm not even sure my husband will get to be with me this time because I delivered so fast last time, and my family lives 45 minutes from town, that he might be in the waiting room with my toddler.

potterybygrace · April 2014

Thank God my in-laws don't live close by! I definitely want my mom and husband for sure. Talking to her about this last night, we were saying that DH will most likely pass out after seeing his reaction from a cut finger this weekend. He's already said he won't cut the umbilical cord, so my mom says, "Your Dad can do it." I'm like no way, even if he is a doctor. He can come after, but not while my cha cha is all exposed, he's still my Dad and that's gross and creepy.

Want a personalized experience?

Who is in with you?

Re: Who is in with you?

IF, 5 losses, 1 son, 1 on the way.

Married DH 7/30/11

CSC arrived 5/7/12

CHC arrived 6/2/14

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