1. I realized this morning that most of the socks in my sock drawer are ones I stole from other people. Most of them formerly belonged to my mom and DH. I wore DH's socks so much that eventually he just started folding them and putting them in my drawer.
2. I want to have another child, maybe another two, but I'm terrified for recovery again. The 2 weeks after EL's birth were the hardest of my life. I've never felt so low as I did a week after she was born and I broke out into hives. I never want to feel that way again. I just pray that next time around I don't have so many complications.
3. I'm still really upset that BFing didn't work out for us. I beat myself up about it every damn day. I try to put on a brave face about it, but I feel like I let El down.
My h is 18 years older than me. When we started dating some people would look at us and wonder if bf/gf or father daughter. After about a year or so of dating it really started to bother me. Mind your business folks. So when someone was staring at us in an elevator or store or where ever I would say to h "how you doing, daddy" and he would say "kiss me with some tongue". Boy did it freak people out! We did this recently also so I remembered. It is quite embarrassing! Happy Friday
I'm wearing maternity yoga pants to work today! I'm also not entirely sure if I pulled them from the clean or dirty pile of clothes that have accumulated on my bedroom floor.
1. Dh and I are active church goers. We were youth leaders until lo was born and had to take a break. I don't know if I believe in God. Especially after my shitty birth experience.
2. I can't stand it when I see "yippee I'm preggers posts on Facebook" from some people. Yes, when hubby and I did everything right and planned for this baby and future children, I get so frustrated when other people can have multiple kids on accident...
for example... there's a lady in our neighborhood that is pregnant everytime I see her. She's got six kids already. Her home is a pigsty. Walking past it I can smell dog shit.
Another example... one of my closest long time friends has an alcoholic sil who is out of control. Lives with parents, has eight kids out of wedlock to 5 different men and has her oldest son taking care of the newest baby.
How can these people have multiple kids and we can't!? Yes I'm judgemental as hell.
3. I was afraid of writing my uo yesterday even though I've been thinking about it for a long time. It felt good to get it off my chest. @Emmanemm can we still be internet friends?
I talked my dh in to buying 2 bags of halloween candy. Over the course of 3 days i ate everything except the milkduds. Suck it, treadmill.
I lied to my mil yesterday. Ill be going home to ky for thanksgiving (dh will be in ny still working) and she wants me to drive an hour and a half to their place so they can see ds. I told them I couldnt because I wont have a vehicle...even though I know my sister or parents would let me borrow theirs. Also, they smoke in their house. So. Flucking. Repulsive.
The first time i met my SIL she told me that i needed to let her know when her brother and i were getting married (we had seriously been dating 2 weeks at the time) and having kids because she was going to do both before me and I'd better not interfere with her plans and try to "one-up" her. Dh and I married before her and her dh, even though she planned her wedding multiple times and kept cancelling. DS is also the first grandchild on both sides. It gives me some sort of sick happiness that she is that pissed about it.
I have an IUD but I figured...what the hell, why not? I wasn't pregnant, duh. Secretly, I was hoping I was. Which is bizarre because I'm content with just Haddock and don't plan to have anymore biological children. Who knows what'll happen in 5 years...
I judge people who save every penny and NEVER EVER use it to just enjoy their life. What are you going to do with it when you're 80? Give it to your family, that's nice and all but I bet your family would've appreciated it if you took the stick out of your ass and enjoyed life a little more.
I'd rather my grandmother take her old wrinkley (is that a word or did I just spell it wrong, because it definitely doesn't look correct to me) behind on a vacation than inherit her hardworking money after she's gone.
Also, I judge people who send money to church on tv, what the actual hell? My SO's grandmother does this, so freaking weird.
@Dccornel I too hate celery. More the seed than the actual stalk...if there's celery seed in something, even a tiny bit... I cannot eat it, cannot, it's disgusting.
As gifts for both my bridal shower (April 2012) and my baby shower (May 2013), I received dollar store gifts from a couple of the guests. I thanked them generously, sent them nice thank you notes and took everything to Goodwill.
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
I'm sure a lot of you feel this way but apparently none of my friends or family do so I'm confessing it here. I hated being pregnant. I hated every minute. I was sick of being sick, my body being all funhouse mirror, being poked and prided twice a week. I love my bean more than life itself but I am seriously debating if I want to do it again. Everyone else I know "loved being pregnant". Are they all lying or am I the only one who doesn't shit rainbows that smell like cinnamon?
I played hooky from work today. DH and I got home about 10pm. My mom took the day off to keep the kids for us so we wouldn't have to wake them up. I am totally doing the banking, grocery shopping, and cleaning before I go get them.
@carrie3102- NO judgment here! I'm taking next Wednesday off. I'm still going to have DH take El to daycare in the morning and I'm going to do my grocery shopping and a little cleaning and pick her up before noon. I felt guilty about it but it's only like 3-4 hours and we have to pay for it anyway. This way I can get all my shiz done and have the rest of the day to just focus on her!
@abalhawk2009 I loathed being pregnant, longest 9 months of my life. My mom told me she loved being pregnant. it was so euphoric, blah blah blah. I told her she was full of shit.
Did her shit smell like cinnamon like the women in my family?
I am afraid to have sex, because I am afraid we will get pregnant. I am not so much worried about having another baby, as I am worried about how guilty I will feel because my sister can't have any more biological babies after this. I keep playing the "pregnancy was too traumatic card"...but I'm really just feeling guilty. I have given her all my maternity clothes and stuff we didn't use, and it makes me sick to think I would have to ask for it back. I just don't think this is fair. I feel like I can't tell anyone in my family this guilty fear I have because no one will understand.
I'm sure a lot of you feel this way but apparently none of my friends or family do so I'm confessing it here. I hated being pregnant. I hated every minute. I was sick of being sick, my body being all funhouse mirror, being poked and prided twice a week. I love my bean more than life itself but I am seriously debating if I want to do it again. Everyone else I know "loved being pregnant". Are they all lying or am I the only one who doesn't shit rainbows that smell like cinnamon?
I hated it too. I'm so happy to be done having kids. Love the outcome but hated being pregnant. It was the longest year ever last year.
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
I am afraid to have sex, because I am afraid we will get pregnant. I am not so much worried about having another baby, as I am worried about how guilty I will feel because my sister can't have any more biological babies after this. I keep playing the "pregnancy was too traumatic card"...but I'm really just feeling guilty. I have given her all my maternity clothes and stuff we didn't use, and it makes me sick to think I would have to ask for it back. I just don't think this is fair. I feel like I can't tell anyone in my family this guilty fear I have because no one will understand.
What happened with your sister? I must have missed something.
@abalhawk2009 - Nope. Hated it. Was an awful pregnant woman. My mom LOVED being pregnant and couldn't understand why I wasn't enjoying it. She'd ask me if I loved it yet ever time she talked to me. To me, it was just a means to a wonderful end result.
@abalhawk2009 - Nope. Hated it. Was an awful pregnant woman. My mom LOVED being pregnant and couldn't understand why I wasn't enjoying it. She'd ask me if I loved it yet ever time she talked to me. To me, it was just a means to a wonderful end result.
I am afraid to have sex, because I am afraid we will get pregnant. I am not so much worried about having another baby, as I am worried about how guilty I will feel because my sister can't have any more biological babies after this. I keep playing the "pregnancy was too traumatic card"...but I'm really just feeling guilty. I have given her all my maternity clothes and stuff we didn't use, and it makes me sick to think I would have to ask for it back. I just don't think this is fair. I feel like I can't tell anyone in my family this guilty fear I have because no one will understand.
What happened with your sister? I must have missed something.
I posted about it in either February or March that she was getting IVF....and did some updates on her. They found tumors on her ovaries when we were in our early 20s and they had to remove her ovaries. They were able to save three eggs and only fertilized two, and only one stuck. This is her one chance to have a biological child.
@abalhawk2009 I loathed being pregnant, longest 9 months of my life. My mom told me she loved being pregnant. it was so euphoric, blah blah blah. I told her she was full of shit.
Did her shit smell like cinnamon like the women in my family?
I shit cinnamon rainbows during my pregnancy. I loved every second if it. I was actually disappointed when I went into labor on my due date... I thought I still had a few days to go overdue and be pregnant. Flame away
I leave DS sit on the floor playing as long as possible to see how far he can move. I also take pictures to show DH. He only squirms around when he is playing with this mat thing. This is how far he has gotten this morning. He was in the middle of the mat to start.
If you don't make the pic bigger, it looks like a baby doll laying there... at least it does on my phone screen
I am afraid to have sex, because I am afraid we will get pregnant. I am not so much worried about having another baby, as I am worried about how guilty I will feel because my sister can't have any more biological babies after this. I keep playing the "pregnancy was too traumatic card"...but I'm really just feeling guilty. I have given her all my maternity clothes and stuff we didn't use, and it makes me sick to think I would have to ask for it back. I just don't think this is fair. I feel like I can't tell anyone in my family this guilty fear I have because no one will understand.
What happened with your sister? I must have missed something.
I posted about it in either February or March that she was getting IVF....and did some updates on her. They found tumors on her ovaries when we were in our early 20s and they had to remove her ovaries. They were able to save three eggs and only fertilized two, and only one stuck. This is her one chance to have a biological child.
I'm sorry. That really stinks. For some perspective, although it's really hard to see pregnant people and large families, I am genuinely happy for any of my loved ones getting to enlarge their families. I've come to a dismal acceptance of my situation. I'm thinking maybe your sister is similar? I agree with @chunkymonkeylvr - don't put your life on hold.
I'm jealous that my SIL is as pregnant as I was when I had DD and that she is getting a baby shower while we had to cancel ours because DD was in the NICU. I'm jealous that she will get to experience getting big and having her baby choose his birthday and that family members who didn't even send us a card are going to her shower and giving her baby gifts. I know we isolated DD after she was born, but she was born at 31 weeks and that's what the neonatologists told us to do. I just wish more of the family had acknowledged her.
@asbromle I was also disappointed my baby showed up on time. (Actual bday was early morning 2 days past due date but I went into labor late the night of). We were in the middle of trying to finish moving/unpacking and I was convinced I'd have at least a few more days. I was pretty uncomfortable but was content with being overdue. I'll take the end of pregnancy over the beginning any day.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
Re: *FFFC*
1. I realized this morning that most of the socks in my sock drawer are ones I stole from other people. Most of them formerly belonged to my mom and DH. I wore DH's socks so much that eventually he just started folding them and putting them in my drawer.
2. I want to have another child, maybe another two, but I'm terrified for recovery again. The 2 weeks after EL's birth were the hardest of my life. I've never felt so low as I did a week after she was born and I broke out into hives. I never want to feel that way again. I just pray that next time around I don't have so many complications.
3. I'm still really upset that BFing didn't work out for us. I beat myself up about it every damn day. I try to put on a brave face about it, but I feel like I let El down.
Baby girl #1 7/11/13
Baby girl #2 4/30/15
Baby Boy Due 2/16/19!
2. I can't stand it when I see "yippee I'm preggers posts on Facebook" from some people. Yes, when hubby and I did everything right and planned for this baby and future children, I get so frustrated when other people can have multiple kids on accident...
for example... there's a lady in our neighborhood that is pregnant everytime I see her. She's got six kids already. Her home is a pigsty. Walking past it I can smell dog shit.
Another example... one of my closest long time friends has an alcoholic sil who is out of control. Lives with parents, has eight kids out of wedlock to 5 different men and has her oldest son taking care of the newest baby.
How can these people have multiple kids and we can't!? Yes I'm judgemental as hell.
3. I was afraid of writing my uo yesterday even though I've been thinking about it for a long time. It felt good to get it off my chest. @Emmanemm can we still be internet friends?
Poas. Do it. I want to know.
I lied to my mil yesterday. Ill be going home to ky for thanksgiving (dh will be in ny still working) and she wants me to drive an hour and a half to their place so they can see ds. I told them I couldnt because I wont have a vehicle...even though I know my sister or parents would let me borrow theirs. Also, they smoke in their house. So. Flucking. Repulsive.
The first time i met my SIL she told me that i needed to let her know when her brother and i were getting married (we had seriously been dating 2 weeks at the time) and having kids because she was going to do both before me and I'd better not interfere with her plans and try to "one-up" her. Dh and I married before her and her dh, even though she planned her wedding multiple times and kept cancelling. DS is also the first grandchild on both sides. It gives me some sort of sick happiness that she is that pissed about it.
I POAS last night, I had one test left...
I have an IUD but I figured...what the hell, why not? I wasn't pregnant, duh. Secretly, I was hoping I was. Which is bizarre because I'm content with just Haddock and don't plan to have anymore biological children. Who knows what'll happen in 5 years...
I judge people who save every penny and NEVER EVER use it to just enjoy their life. What are you going to do with it when you're 80? Give it to your family, that's nice and all but I bet your family would've appreciated it if you took the stick out of your ass and enjoyed life a little more.
I'd rather my grandmother take her old wrinkley (is that a word or did I just spell it wrong, because it definitely doesn't look correct to me) behind on a vacation than inherit her hardworking money after she's gone.
Also, I judge people who send money to church on tv, what the actual hell? My SO's grandmother does this, so freaking weird.
I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.
Baby girl #1 7/11/13
Baby girl #2 4/30/15
Baby Boy Due 2/16/19!
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
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Baby girl #1 7/11/13
Baby girl #2 4/30/15
Baby Boy Due 2/16/19!
Baby girl #1 7/11/13
Baby girl #2 4/30/15
Baby Boy Due 2/16/19!
I feel like I can't tell anyone in my family this guilty fear I have because no one will understand.
I hated it too. I'm so happy to be done having kids. Love the outcome but hated being pregnant. It was the longest year ever last year.
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
.
They found tumors on her ovaries when we were in our early 20s and they had to remove her ovaries. They were able to save three eggs and only fertilized two, and only one stuck. This is her one chance to have a biological child.
Glad you understand too
Which Reese? Honky tonk or city slicker?
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022