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December 2013 Moms
FFFC!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFFC!
Baby GIRL due 12/26
"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if u turn your attention to other things it will come & sit softly on your shoulder."
BFP! 04/26/11 - DS born 12/28/11 - BFP #2! 04/02/13 - DD born 12/11/13 -
My Ovulation Chart
No wonder people tell me I have a stick up my ass.
Nah... Didn't you read my replies?
See, these comments make me mad though. It is just as ignorant as any other comment in here. That is like saying anyone who is successful had help growing up. It is possible to become successful in this world when you come from NOTHING through hard work. My husband came from a low income town. His parents didn't give him a penny. Him and his siblings worked for everything they have. When DH was 16 (he is the youngest) his mom left him in the house by himself to be with her third husband. He was financially and in every way independent. He worked 2 jobs, went to school (graduated second in his class) then worked his way through college paid completely by himself (plus his car payments, bills, etc completely on his own). He still has student loans but he works his butt off to get where he is now with the help of nobody. 2 of his siblings did the same thing and 1 didn't go to school but worked his ass off in his trade and now lives very comfortably.
I understand it is easier for people with help but it's not impossible for people in bad situations. My husband and all of his siblings managed to make something out of themselves without ever receiving one penny from anyone.
It just makes me mad when people come on here and say my husband is so lazy I am leaving him then come on and say their salaries should be raised for doing nothing. Yes harder work could pay off. You want a full time job or a different job? Look for it! I don't feel bad for the person playing video games all day who plays the woe is me card when there are people like my husband who has worked his butt off. Do we really live in such an entitled country that we can't see that hard work pays off? And to be honest it's people who claim "people who come from bad situations can't go to school" or "Can't make anything of themselves" that further allow the entitlement. Everyone has opportunities. It's what you make of your situation.
End rant. I am exiting this thread to eat a snickers before my head explodes haha.
I didn't correct him. Flame away.
Me and my dad never had a relationship. He was never there for me. He would sit at home watching TV when I had a band performance or something for karate. He was givin many opportunities to fix this. I told him many times how I felt. He passed away 10 yrs ago when I was 19. It still hurts I never had a dad that everyone deserves. There is a difference in being a father and a dad. Mine was definitely a father. That's why I will make sure DH is there as much as possible which I know won't be an issue that's why I picked him.
Well you're wrong. If it was to catch him doing something I would have no problem saying so. I'm not fake or making stuff up. I'm straight up, and if I was doing it cause I didn't trust him, I would say so.
News flash. Laboring can take awhile and it hurts.
My FFFC is that it's a huge pet peeve of mine that people have opinions that they can't or won't back up with logic. Sure, everyone's entitled to their opinion, but if you respect yourself you'll form an opinion that informed on facts and can be upheld with logic, not just one that sounds good to you.
Honestly, I really don't care about most of the stuff that gets discussed on this board in principle, but when I see people making judgments, comments or choices that just don't make sense, I feel like I should say something to them, or at least make sure I understand the entirety of their position (hell, I could just be misunderstanding them). And the, "whateva whateva I think what I want," response makes me feel like I've wasted my time.
See, these comments make me mad though. It is just as ignorant as any other comment in here. That is like saying anyone who is successful had help growing up. It is possible to become successful in this world when you come from NOTHING through hard work. My husband came from a low income town. His parents didn't give him a penny. Him and his siblings worked for everything they have. When DH was 16 (he is the youngest) his mom left him in the house by himself to be with her third husband. He was financially and in every way independent. He worked 2 jobs, went to school (graduated second in his class) then worked his way through college paid completely by himself (plus his car payments, bills, etc completely on his own). He still has student loans but he works his butt off to get where he is now with the help of nobody. 2 of his siblings did the same thing and 1 didn't go to school but worked his ass off in his trade and now lives very comfortably.
I understand it is easier for people with help but it's not impossible for people in bad situations. My husband and all of his siblings managed to make something out of themselves without ever receiving one penny from anyone.
It just makes me mad when people come on here and say my husband is so lazy I am leaving him then come on and say their salaries should be raised for doing nothing. Yes harder work could pay off. You want a full time job or a different job? Look for it! I don't feel bad for the person playing video games all day who plays the woe is me card when there are people like my husband who has worked his butt off. Do we really live in such an entitled country that we can't see that hard work pays off? And to be honest it's people who claim "people who come from bad situations can't go to school" or "Can't make anything of themselves" that further allow the entitlement. Everyone has opportunities. It's what you make of your situation.
End rant. I am exiting this thread to eat a snickers before my head explodes haha.
Some of the people here cracking on the poor for taking a free ride have previously admitted to coming from families who make six figures. Second base.Like I said, I think everyone can agree that it's irresponsible. But she didn't say that at first - she said it was wrong. I don't think asking her to further clarify her position is taking it too far. If she thinks it is, she won't respond, and that'll be the end of it.
I think you're focusing too much on "wrong". I'm sure she wasn't using it as you believe. A lot of people use "wrong" a little bit more loosely. Like, if someone does something jacked up, I hear people say "oh man, that's just wrong". And that's what I got from her FFFC, she thinks it's jacked up that people who can't afford kids have them.
ETA: Just saw the other posts says the exact same thing, so sorry for beating a dead horse.
However, in the context of the original FFFC and the statements that were made early on, you can't deny that her original position was very unclear. And I still really don't think engaging in a good-natured discussion on the FFFC post is taking anything too far. Plenty of FFFCs have gone down in firey balls of death and rage, and I'm not anywhere close to that. I guess I just don't understand why people are randomly taking such issue with me inquiring further.
My FFFC: It really bothers me when I hear ladies say that their SOs get upset, pouty, sad, etc. when they don't get sex.
When I tell my DH I'm not in the mood, he's completely chill about it and even if it does bother him, he doesn't show it or make me feel bad about it.
With pregnancy, everyone sacrifices something and fortunately for DH the only thing he has to sacrifice is the frequency of sex; he realizes that and can deal with it. He's not going to complain about sex knowing that my body is going through some crazy shit to produce OUR baby.
And I understand using the FFFC thread to go back and forth about other people's positions on things, but I guess I feel like telling people they've gone too far when they're still being completely civil defeats the point. Why should anyone bring something up in the first place if they're going to get bashed for making comments on it? We tell that to our newbies all the time. I don't see how it's different.
Do I care? No. I now feel amazing!
Hmm...I was just trying to probe further into her position good-naturedly. Sterilization is the logical next step of what she was suggesting. I'm just trying to make sure that's clear, because most people who are of the opinion that it's wrong for poor people to have children make that statement without really understanding the consequences of that opinion.
Like I said, I think everyone can agree that it's irresponsible. But she didn't say that at first - she said it was wrong. I don't think asking her to further clarify her position is taking it too far. If she thinks it is, she won't respond, and that'll be the end of it.
By wrong I meant the person made the wrong choice. Should something to be done to help people make better choices? Yes, better available birth control would be one. But I would never suggest we dicatate who can have a baby. I just think it is a wrong decision /poor choice to have a baby you can't feed.
Btw I am off to work so I won't be able to comment further.
Yes the FFFC is meant so you can argue with somebody's point. It's not meant to change someone's point completely to make it work with your own opinion. You can disagree with her but don't change what she said. People argue with people's FFFC all the time. Look at this one but you took it to a whole different level. The difference between wrong and irresponsible? Who cares?
And sterilization? Seriously? She didn't even say they shouldn't have kids, she said it was wrong. Wrong meaning wrong at that time. And yes it is wrong to bring a baby into the world when you can't provide it's basic needs. It doesn't mean you need to be sterilized. It means you should wait until you are in a better place. I think that is obvious to most people. So for you to connect one thing to another was just plain stupid no matter what fancy word you put on it.
Have our own opinion. Just stop changing what other people said. That's where you are wrong. I am very seriously not arguing this anymore because I don't really care enough.