We haven't told our 6 year old about losing the baby yet, every time I try to bring it up I just get emotional and shut down. I know its important to tell her right away, but she was so excited for a brother or sister im terrified that im going to break her heart. How do I break the news to her? Any suggestions, or personal experience with this? Thank you in advance... XO
Re: Telling siblings
Only drawback was when I got pregnant to his now brother 5 months later he asked me if God was going to take this baby too. Now we did wait until I was about 15 weeks to tell him since I'd lost the other at 14 weeks.
I'm sorry for your loss, I remember telling my son was so difficult. Good luck.
My DS is too young to understand, so I have not had the experience of needing to tell a child. I know this will be so hard for you; we all want so badly to protect our children from pain. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Maybe tell her even though you're still very emotional and let her see how sad you are. You will be showing her that its okay to express grief and that we survive even the most difficult of life events. Maybe you could ask her if there is something she'd like to do to mourn the loss.
I wish you the best with this conversation. Please let us know how it goes.
Btw, you have a beautiful family. You were such a lovely bride!
So sorry for your loss. My situation was very similar, 6 year old daughter very excited to have a sibling.. I wish we wouldn't have told her we were expecting at all. I found out I had suffered the loss at my 12 week mark.
We told her that the doctors were wrong and we weren't going to have a baby this year after all. She was crushed and cried a lot. I did not tell her about my surgery or that the baby had died, although she did ask what happened to the baby. I tried to keep it as simple as possible.
We are trying again starting this month and if i do get pregnant again, I will wait a lot longer.
Good luck to you.
I'm actually going to plant something. I was on vacation when the baby actually died but I didn't know it and every day we passed a house that had the most beautiful hydrangea. My MIL was with us and is going to look for one since I've never seen one like that in our area and she sees them all the time and she says now that I've pointed it out she thinks of this pregnancy too. My son is now 14 and he didn't get that upset but I'm going to do it for us.
Oh wow, I truly cried when I read this. Your DD rocks.
To OP, I haven't been in your shoes but I am very sorry for your loss. Good luck on speaking with your DD.
ETA: I agree with the PP about how gorgeous your family is, just beautiful.
Thank you both, so much! They are my world.
~TTC #3~
DD #2 - 10/16/08
DD #1 - 4/13/07
Ugh, sorry about the above post - I actually wrote something after the quote but it didn't post (stupid phone). It won't let me delete it.
Mainly I said that we didn't tell my girls that I was pregnant, but if we did have to break the news about my loss I would probably say something like the person I quoted. But that I think your religious views play a big part in what you say (we're not religious).
I'm so sorry for your loss.
~TTC #3~
DD #2 - 10/16/08
DD #1 - 4/13/07