Gender appt upset

PrimRoseMama · May 2013

tallywah08:
LuciiLovesHanz:
OMG A SANE PERSON! LETS BE FRIENDS! You, me, and the OP against the world!
ha ha I can't even respond to that one person anymore I just can hardly understand why someone would come to a place full of pregnant women and put them down over anything in the likes of what I posted. I agree with LuciiLovesHanz

Of course you do. She is kissing your butt and telling you what you want to hear!

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

PrimRoseMama:
That's the thing. I don't think he was out of line. I think she was asking him to do an extra measurement that had been done previously. If this was a follow up anatomy scan [which is what it sounds like] then there is no need to go back and look at a measurement that had been completed successfully. Just because she wasn't satisfied doesn't mean he didn't do his job right. An anatomy scan is not a trip to Burger King. You can't always get things your way with special sauce. His job and what the insurance pays him for is to take measurements to ensure the health of the baby. It is not to take orders from patients that cannot see the Forrest for the trees and are hung up on sex in order to shop. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I get it. She wanted to double check. That doesn't mean that the doc is required to acquiesce to her request with a smile on his face. He's a medical professional and not a trained poodle that is there to do what a patient wants. You are allowed to your opinion. I am allowed to mine. You think she was justified. I do not [and I am not alone]. If it was me I would STFU and stop wasting a medical professional's valuable time. Then I'd go plunk down money for an elective ultrasound if I cared that much. If you have money to shop you have money to spend on an elective u/s at Stork Vision. This is less about a snarky doc and more about the OP [and others] thinking they get to dictate orders during a medical procedure. It's not for your entertainment or so you can shop. It's a medical evaluation.

Oh, Wise Prim, I do think I love you!

LuciiLovesHanz · May 2013

PrimRoseMama:
LuciiLovesHanz:
PrimRoseMama:
The more I read this the more muddy it seems. I think you are over reacting. The doc is not required to hold your hand and coddle you. Sex may be a big deal to you but your doc cares more about the rest of the anatomy. That is his job. If you want someone to squee over the sex then go to an elective place and bring a friend. Seriously, I think you are really too sensitive about this.

imagine it was you in this situation. Would you handle it well? i don't think she wants the doctor to "squee" over her gender, she just wanted confirmation. Maybe you are taking it too seriously yourself. It sounds like she handled herself in a calm manner, and didn't freak out or anything... even her post was calm. And she is asking for validation that the doctor was a little out of line. SHE IS PAYING HIM FOR HIS TIME, so it is "HIS JOB" as you put it, to take the 5 minutes it would have taken to check... Especially since she saw him for her first child. If she had asked about the health of the child you don't know he wouldn't have acted the same way if he had already confirmed everything was okay. so SERIOUSLY.... be a little more compassionate.
That's the thing. I don't think he was out of line. I think she was asking him to do an extra measurement that had been done previously. If this was a follow up anatomy scan [which is what it sounds like] then there is no need to go back and look at a measurement that had been completed successfully. Just because she wasn't satisfied doesn't mean he didn't do his job right. An anatomy scan is not a trip to Burger King. You can't always get things your way with special sauce. His job and what the insurance pays him for is to take measurements to ensure the health of the baby. It is not to take orders from patients that cannot see the Forrest for the trees and are hung up on sex in order to shop. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I get it. She wanted to double check. That doesn't mean that the doc is required to acquiesce to her request with a smile on his face. He's a medical professional and not a trained poodle that is there to do what a patient wants. You are allowed to your opinion. I am allowed to mine. You think she was justified. I do not [and I am not alone]. If it was me I would STFU and stop wasting a medical professional's valuable time. Then I'd go plunk down money for an elective ultrasound if I cared that much. If you have money to shop you have money to spend on an elective u/s at Stork Vision. This is less about a snarky doc and more about the OP [and others] thinking they get to dictate orders during a medical procedure. It's not for your entertainment or so you can shop. It's a medical evaluation.

No one said anything about Burger King? So don't know where you got that. The doctor could have told her to get an elective US if its something he doesn't want to do/insurance doesn't cover. It would have only taken a few words. And assuming that I am saying that something as vapid as shopping for the baby is the point of this is ridiculous. How about treating a patient with kindness no matter the concern? "Demands" weren't made. A simple question was asked from what I can tell.

I am also not alone in my opinion, so your statement about "NOT BEING ALONE" means jack diddly squat to me. I think you may just be upset about something else and are taking it out on this girl and the ones standing up for her. Sure, maybe the elective US is what she should do, but that doesn't mean you have to say things like "I'd STFU". Its straight up RUDE when someone has a genuine concern.

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

LuciiLovesHanz · May 2013

PrimRoseMama:
tallywah08:
LuciiLovesHanz:
OMG A SANE PERSON! LETS BE FRIENDS! You, me, and the OP against the world!
ha ha I can't even respond to that one person anymore I just can hardly understand why someone would come to a place full of pregnant women and put them down over anything in the likes of what I posted. I agree with LuciiLovesHanz
Of course you do. She is kissing your butt and telling you what you want to hear!

try I'm not an angry person, who has compassion for what others are going through. This is something you clearly lack if you are going to tell me about my own personality. Before I even read these posts on how she's over reacting, I posted my first one. I honestly feel bad for her, and would not want to be in her shoes. And why would i "kiss her butt" when I don't even know her? what would be the benefit of kissing someones butt on a message board? Is she an admin or something? its called being supportive.

agentkitten75 · May 2013

LuciiLovesHanz:
I think tearing someone down over an issue they are already upset about is really immature, but I'm sure you have handled your pregnancy perfectly and have never had a minor meltdown or overreaction. I suppose we all should model ourselves and our pregnancy after you, since you are the end all be all opinion on stupidity.

????

PrimRoseMama · May 2013

LuciiLovesHanz:
try I'm not an angry person, who has compassion for what others are going through. This is something you clearly lack if you are going to tell me about my own personality. Before I even read these posts on how she's over reacting, I posted my first one. I honestly feel bad for her, and would not want to be in her shoes. And why would i "kiss her butt" when I don't even know her? what would be the benefit of kissing someones butt on a message board? Is she an admin or something? its called being supportive.

Wait wait, I'm not angry at all. Why is it when someone disagrees with you that they must be angry? I simply think OP is being incredibly unreasonable. It's not rude to state what I would do in the situation at all. I would most definitely STFU and stop whining that I didn't get my way.

You don't know her or me. So how can you claim to know anything about my level of compassion? You know who I feel really bad for? The folks that get truly bad news at an anatomy scan. Please don't make assumptions on my overall character based on my refusal to coddle someone throwing a tantrum that the doctor didn't fulfill their every menial desire with a damn smile on his face and skip in his step.

So let me get this straight, you are going to blindly support someone you don't know. Then you are going to blindly support them making unreasonable and unnecessary requests during a medical evaluation? Then you are going to white knight for her when others disagree and make valid, reasoned arguments? It seems like your priorities are considerably skewed.

I support folks that a] I get to know here over time b] generally don't act like entitled brats who believe that doctors are supposed to bend to their whims happily c] think with their brains.

OP is upset that her request was not granted with fanfare. She didn't even get turned down. He did it for her [when he really didn't have to. It was not medically necessary and I hope they get charged a nice u/s fee by the way. You can't just get free shiit the rest of us have to pay for]. I think that is unreasonable.

That doesn't make me "angry about anything else" or "lacking in compassion". It means I disagree.

I think that both you and OP are big on the dramatics and over reaction. Simmer down. Also, Burger King's slogan used to be "get it your way". Please tell me you've lived long enough to be aware of some pop culture FFS. Holy cow.

PrimRoseMama · May 2013

WashingtonQueen:
PrimRoseMama:

That's the thing. I don't think he was out of line. I think she was asking him to do an extra measurement that had been done previously. If this was a follow up anatomy scan [which is what it sounds like] then there is no need to go back and look at a measurement that had been completed successfully.

Just because she wasn't satisfied doesn't mean he didn't do his job right. An anatomy scan is not a trip to Burger King. You can't always get things your way with special sauce. His job and what the insurance pays him for is to take measurements to ensure the health of the baby. It is not to take orders from patients that cannot see the Forrest for the trees and are hung up on sex in order to shop. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

I get it. She wanted to double check. That doesn't mean that the doc is required to acquiesce to her request with a smile on his face. He's a medical professional and not a trained poodle that is there to do what a patient wants.

You are allowed to your opinion. I am allowed to mine. You think she was justified. I do not [and I am not alone]. If it was me I would STFU and stop wasting a medical professional's valuable time. Then I'd go plunk down money for an elective ultrasound if I cared that much. If you have money to shop you have money to spend on an elective u/s at Stork Vision.

This is less about a snarky doc and more about the OP [and others] thinking they get to dictate orders during a medical procedure. It's not for your entertainment or so you can shop. It's a medical evaluation.
Oh, Wise Prim, I do think I love you!

The feelings are completely mutual!!

But but... I am completely angry and lacking in compassion dontcha know? We have to agree AND do it with warm, fuzzy nice words too! If we don't we are miserable, horrible people that kick puppies and hate sunshine! The complete and abject horror! Oh the humanity!

Maz · May 2013

Wow, this is the first post I have read. You people are HORRIBLE!!!!! Just because someone wants to know the gender of their baby doesn't mean they don't care about the health of the baby. Nothing this woman has said was stupid. Doctors should have a good bedside manner.

I feel very bad that you (OP) have been treated this way. I thought the purpose of this board was to provide support for the people on it. I can't believe people are calling the OP stupid etc.

I think I am done here. I'm off to find a board with decent people on it.

alkvoelker · May 2013

thedash:
It's not his job to tell you the baby's gender. And it's not a gender appointment. His job is to care for the health of you and your fetus throughout your pregnancy. The anatomy scan is to check important developmental and growth issues.

If you need to be sure of gender you can pay for a private 3D 4D ultrasound.

This. Gender is a bonus, not the reason for the scan. It annoys the everloving fluck out of me when I see posts about this. Who cares what your kid is as long as its healthy and thriving.

Unknown · May 2013

This content has been removed.

alkvoelker · May 2013

WashingtonQueen:
lucianneD:
WashingtonQueen:
tallywah08:
WashingtonQueen:
tallywah08:
Yes I know it's not really a gender appt that's just what I came up with to put as post title. People are very big on correct terms here aren't they. People seem to go through post just to tell people off or something ha ha. But thanks for your input everyone. I'm just too hormonal about it and expected to much.
That is never an excuse for stupidity.
Rude.
No, just able to read through BS.
 
Different opinions are great, and if you think she is wrong that is fine, but we don't need to call anybody stupid....in my opinion. 
I picture OP acting like this
Yes, that is stupid.

LMAO....I think people put too much stock in sexnowadays. People get their feelings involved and wrapped around this image of a certain sex and then are faced with disappointment when they don't get what they want. One of my biggest pet peeves is people using hormones as an excuse to be a ***.

alkvoelker · May 2013

AFwifelife:
Love when newbs all white knight for each other in these posts.

Agreed.

alkvoelker · May 2013

LuciiLovesHanz:
PrimRoseMama:
The more I read this the more muddy it seems. I think you are over reacting. The doc is not required to hold your hand and coddle you. Sex may be a big deal to you but your doc cares more about the rest of the anatomy. That is his job.

If you want someone to squee over the sex then go to an elective place and bring a friend. Seriously, I think you are really too sensitive about this.
 
imagine it was you in this situation. Would you handle it well? i don't think she wants the doctor to "squee" over her gender, she just wanted confirmation. Maybe you are taking it too seriously yourself. It sounds like she handled herself in a calm manner, and didn't freak out or anything... even her post was calm. And she is asking for validation that the doctor was a little out of line. SHE IS PAYING HIM FOR HIS TIME, so it is "HIS JOB" as you put it, to take the 5 minutes it would have taken to check... Especially since she saw him for her first child. If she had asked about the health of the child you don't know he wouldn't have acted the same way if  he had already confirmed everything was okay. so SERIOUSLY.... be a little more compassionate. 

She is paying him to deliver a healthy baby. He is not there to tell people what they are having. He!l, my parents never had an ultrasound with me or my siblings and my grandparents didn't know what their babies were either.

alkvoelker · May 2013

Maz:
Wow, this is the first post I have read. nbsp;You people are HORRIBLE!!!!! nbsp;Just because someone wants to know the gender of their baby doesn't mean they don't care about the health of the baby. nbsp;Nothing this woman has said was stupid. nbsp;Doctors should have a good bedside manner.nbsp;I feel very bad that you OP have been treated this way. nbsp;I thought the purpose of this board was to provide support for the people on it. nbsp;I can't believe people are calling the OP stupid etc.nbsp;I think I am done here. nbsp;I'm off to find a board with decent people on it.nbsp;

gigglesnort

CNYBride05 · May 2013

I'm upset that you called it a "gender appt.". There is no such thing. I believe you are referring to an anatomy scan, which many people go to to ensure that their LOs are healthy and all organs, etc are developing as they should be. Sometimes, one is able to discover the sex of their LO at this time, but that it not the reason for the scan.

katie.725 · May 2013

alkvoelker:
thedash:
It's not his job to tell you the baby's gender. And it's not a gender appointment. His job is to care for the health of you and your fetus throughout your pregnancy. The anatomy scan is to check important developmental and growth issues. If you need to be sure of gender you can pay for a private 3D 4D ultrasound.
This. Gender is a bonus, not the reason for the scan. It annoys the everloving fluck out of me when I see posts about this. Who cares what your kid is as long as its healthy and thriving.

Totes-Magotes!!

LuClo · May 2013

Aside from all the other stuff...if you were upset at the last appointment and wanted to have the sex confirmed it might have worked better if you talked to the doctor directly at the time of the appointment, or asked if you could have given baby a few minutes to get into better position. Instead you talked to the nurse after. I'm sure your intentions were good. But I imagine it felt to him like you were trying to go around him to get what you wanted. I know that I can get pretty oppositional when i feel that way. If you want something from me, tell me; don't tell someone else to tell me what to do.

leahaustin · May 2013

This is probably why my OB does not conduct the u/s. We go to a separate u/s tech for ours. I have a feeling my OB, whom is very busy, would be annoyed if I asked her to take a peak at the baby just to confirm the gender too.

Mrs. Mo · May 2013

PrimRoseMama:
LuciiLovesHanz:

PrimRoseMama:
The more I read this the more muddy it seems. I think you are over reacting. The doc is not required to hold your hand and coddle you. Sex may be a big deal to you but your doc cares more about the rest of the anatomy. That is his job. If you want someone to squee over the sex then go to an elective place and bring a friend. Seriously, I think you are really too sensitive about this.

imagine it was you in this situation. Would you handle it well? i don't think she wants the doctor to "squee" over her gender, she just wanted confirmation. Maybe you are taking it too seriously yourself. It sounds like she handled herself in a calm manner, and didn't freak out or anything... even her post was calm. And she is asking for validation that the doctor was a little out of line. SHE IS PAYING HIM FOR HIS TIME, so it is "HIS JOB" as you put it, to take the 5 minutes it would have taken to check... Especially since she saw him for her first child. If she had asked about the health of the child you don't know he wouldn't have acted the same way if he had already confirmed everything was okay. so SERIOUSLY.... be a little more compassionate.

That's the thing. I don't think he was out of line. I think she was asking him to do an extra measurement that had been done previously. If this was a follow up anatomy scan [which is what it sounds like] then there is no need to go back and look at a measurement that had been completed successfully. Just because she wasn't satisfied doesn't mean he didn't do his job right. An anatomy scan is not a trip to Burger King. You can't always get things your way with special sauce. His job and what the insurance pays him for is to take measurements to ensure the health of the baby. It is not to take orders from patients that cannot see the Forrest for the trees and are hung up on sex in order to shop. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I get it. She wanted to double check. That doesn't mean that the doc is required to acquiesce to her request with a smile on his face. He's a medical professional and not a trained poodle that is there to do what a patient wants. You are allowed to your opinion. I am allowed to mine. You think she was justified. I do not [and I am not alone]. If it was me I would STFU and stop wasting a medical professional's valuable time. Then I'd go plunk down money for an elective ultrasound if I cared that much. If you have money to shop you have money to spend on an elective u/s at Stork Vision. This is less about a snarky doc and more about the OP [and others] thinking they get to dictate orders during a medical procedure. It's not for your entertainment or so you can shop. It's a medical evaluation.

Yes

Also, OP, you may very well be billed for the entire amount of the u/s. Since there wasn't a medical need for it, your insurance may very well deny the charges and thus you will be billed the full amount. Doc do not do u/s for free.

MommyKristin88 · May 2013

Actually, it's not his job to do an extra ultrasound just to find out if the baby is a boy/girl. That's not the point of the ultrasounds; just a bonus. The "gender appt" you're referring to is actually your anatomy scan. The purpose is to make sure the baby is developing properly, not help you be able to buy gender specific items. Get over it! You're lucky he did another ultrasound. My old OB would have said no, not that I would have made such a ridiculous request anyway...

MallardDucky · May 2013

1. You were not even going in for an ultrasound, you went around the doctor to his nurse to get what you wanted. Doc gave you one and told you the answer, he did not have to nor did he have the time. I really hope your insurances charges you for the ultrasound because it was not medically needed. Here let me say it again, IT WAS NOT MEDICAL NEEDED! If I was your doc I would be upset with you too. BTW how hard is it to get things once baby arrives? Nope not hard at all. I would laugh my butt off if this baby is the opposite sex!

2. If you let something so minor ruin your day what the hell are you going to do when something truly horrible happens?

tallywah08 · May 2013

alkvoelker:
WashingtonQueen:
lucianneD:
WashingtonQueen:
tallywah08:
WashingtonQueen:
tallywah08:
Yes I know it's not really a gender appt that's just what I came up with to put as post title. People are very big on correct terms here aren't they. People seem to go through post just to tell people off or something ha ha. But thanks for your input everyone. I'm just too hormonal about it and expected to much.
That is never an excuse for stupidity.
Rude.
No, just able to read through BS.
 
Different opinions are great, and if you think she is wrong that is fine, but we don't need to call anybody stupid....in my opinion. 
I picture OP acting like this
Yes, that is stupid.

LMAO....I think people put too much stock in sexnowadays. People get their feelings involved and wrapped around this image of a certain sex and then are faced with disappointment when they don't get what they want. One of my biggest pet peeves is people using hormones as an excuse to be a ***.

. How did I act like a *** at all? I didn't even say anything to him about it? The ultrasound took him literally two minutes to do. I asked if it would be a problem they said no. He came in and said he was sure from last time then I proceeded to say oh then don't worry about it. And he continued to do it with a bad attitude I did not demand anything nor was I bratty about it. I'm a grown woman who had a two year old with me. Why would I have acted nasty about it? Apparently you people don't find it appropriate to want to know the sex. Are more worried being smart asses to someone than look at the real topic of what I was saying. It wasn't okay for him to act like that when I certainly did not in any way elicit the behavior he displayed. If he did not think it was necessary he could have said so he is a grown man who has been in his profession for many years so I trusted what he said. But he chose to instead make me feel uncomfortable about it instead of simply stating no I'm sure it's a girl so lets not worry about the ultrasound and do what was planned which I'm sure would have taken just as long as the ultrasound he did do. So before you negative people keeping blowing crap out of proportion read with your mind. And absorb what i have said and quit trying to make someone sound bad. Hardcore with the keyboard much?

MallardDucky · May 2013

tallywah08:
alkvoelker:
WashingtonQueen:
lucianneD:
WashingtonQueen:
tallywah08:
WashingtonQueen:
tallywah08:
Yes I know it's not really a gender appt that's just what I came up with to put as post title. People are very big on correct terms here aren't they. People seem to go through post just to tell people off or something ha ha. But thanks for your input everyone. I'm just too hormonal about it and expected to much.
That is never an excuse for stupidity.
Rude.
No, just able to read through BS.

Different opinions are great, and if you think she is wrong that is fine, but we don't need to call anybody stupid....in my opinion.
I picture OP acting like this
Yes, that is stupid.
LMAO....I think people put too much stock in sexnowadays. People get their feelings involved and wrapped around this image of a certain sex and then are faced with disappointment when they don't get what they want. One of my biggest pet peeves is people using hormones as an excuse to be a ***.
. How did I act like a *** at all? I didn't even say anything to him about it? The ultrasound took him literally two minutes to do. I asked if it would be a problem they said no. He came in and said he was sure from last time then I proceeded to say oh then don't worry about it. And he continued to do it with a bad attitude I did not demand anything nor was I bratty about it. I'm a grown woman who had a two year old with me. Why would I have acted nasty about it? Apparently you people don't find it appropriate to want to know the sex. Are more worried being smart asses to someone than look at the real topic of what I was saying. It wasn't okay for him to act like that when I certainly did not in any way elicit the behavior he displayed. If he did not think it was necessary he could have said so he is a grown man who has been in his profession for many years so I trusted what he said. But he chose to instead make me feel uncomfortable about it instead of simply stating no I'm sure it's a girl so lets not worry about the ultrasound and do what was planned which I'm sure would have taken just as long as the ultrasound he did do. So before you negative people keeping blowing crap out of proportion read with your mind. And absorb what i have said and quit trying to make someone sound bad. Hardcore with the keyboard much?

I think you need to get a gripe with reality, if he would have told you no you would have been having the same issue as you have now. You would be pissed. The point is he did give you the ultrasound, you got your answer. MOVE ON. Like I said before I hope your insurance denies the claim, because it was so not needed.

tallywah08 · May 2013

MallardDucky:
tallywah08:
alkvoelker:
WashingtonQueen:
lucianneD:
WashingtonQueen:
tallywah08:
WashingtonQueen:
tallywah08:
Yes I know it's not really a gender appt that's just what I came up with to put as post title. People are very big on correct terms here aren't they. People seem to go through post just to tell people off or something ha ha. But thanks for your input everyone. I'm just too hormonal about it and expected to much.
That is never an excuse for stupidity.
Rude.
No, just able to read through BS.
 
Different opinions are great, and if you think she is wrong that is fine, but we don't need to call anybody stupid....in my opinion. 
I picture OP acting like this
Yes, that is stupid.

LMAO....I think people put too much stock in sexnowadays. People get their feelings involved and wrapped around this image of a certain sex and then are faced with disappointment when they don't get what they want. One of my biggest pet peeves is people using hormones as an excuse to be a ***.
. How did I act like a *** at all? I didn't even say anything to him about it? The ultrasound took him literally two minutes to do. I asked if it would be a problem they said no. He came in and said he was sure from last time then I proceeded to say oh then don't worry about it. And he continued to do it with a bad attitude I did not demand anything nor was I bratty about it. I'm a grown woman who had a two year old with me. Why would I have acted nasty about it? Apparently you people don't find it appropriate to want to know the sex. Are more worried being smart asses to someone than look at the real topic of what I was saying. It wasn't okay for him to act like that when I certainly did not in any way elicit the behavior he displayed. If he did not think it was necessary he could have said so he is a grown man who has been in his profession for many years so I trusted what he said. But he chose to instead make me feel uncomfortable about it instead of simply stating no I'm sure it's a girl so lets not worry about the ultrasound and do what was planned which I'm sure would have taken just as long as the ultrasound he did do. So before you negative people keeping blowing crap out of proportion read with your mind. And absorb what i have said and quit trying to make someone sound bad. Hardcore with the keyboard much?
I think you need to get a gripe with reality,  if he would have told you no you would have been having the same issue as you have now. You would be pissed. The point is he did give you the ultrasound, you got your answer. MOVE ON.  Like I said before I hope your insurance denies the claim, because it was so not needed. 

. No like I said before I trust his opinion but he continued to do it. And I do not care if my insurance picks up the tab or not I wouldn't have asked for it had I not known that was a possibility. I wasn't pissed before and I'm not now. Just upset that he would act like that over it rather than say I'd rather not do the ultrasound. If y'all are basing what my reactions would be from a tv show then grow up. I live in reality here. I don't know about you. Like I said hardcore with the keyboard. But anyways thanks everyone for your input even the negative ones. Bye

coraggiosa · May 2013

This whole thread made me LOL. Gender appointment? What on earth is that?

OP, your doctor was annoyed because you requested a non-medically necessary ultrasound at an appointment where an ultrasound was not scheduled. Not only does that throw off his schedule, it also adds to paperwork that must be submitted to your insurance company. Could he have acted better? Sure. But I'm also sure he's sick of mothers-to-be who are hung up on the sex of their baby when that is not even really his job to determine. I have seen time and time again that women on here think that ultrasounds to determine it are handed out like candy - they are not supposed to be. They are medical procedures that are used to determine the HEALTH of the fetus - anything more than that is a bonus. If you want a "fun" ultrasound to see your baby's genitals and confirm its sex, go get an elective one at some ultrasound boutique. Ultrasounds cost money. Your doctor performed a medically unnecessary ultrasound at your request, and frankly, I hope your insurance company denies the claim and you have to pay the out of pocket amount for it. I don't want to pay to subsidize your need to know what's between your baby's legs.

And yes, this was partly asked so that you could go shopping. You said it yourself earlier in the thread that you needed to know the sex so that you could shop for your baby because money is tight, so don't try to back track on that.

To all the people that say the doctor needs to do everything with a smile on his face, you are wrong. When people ask you to do things that are outside the realm of your job, do you get angry? I would. To the people who say "Well, he could have just said he was sure it was a girl", in that case I think we'd have a wholly different post on here about how her doctor was a big meanie who wouldn't confirm 100% whether or not her child had a penis or vagina.

mben1119 · May 2013

coraggiosa:
This whole thread made me LOL. Gender appointment? What on earth is that?
OP, your doctor was annoyed because you requested a non-medically necessary ultrasound at an appointment where an ultrasound was not scheduled. Not only does that throw off his schedule, it also adds to paperwork that must be submitted to your insurance company. Could he have acted better? Sure. But I'm also sure he's sick of mothers-to-be who are hung up on the sex of their baby when that is not even really his job to determine. I have seen time and time again that women on here think that ultrasounds to determine it are handed out like candy - they are not supposed to be. They are medical procedures that are used to determine the HEALTH of the fetus - anything more than that is a bonus. If you want a "fun" ultrasound to see your baby's genitals and confirm its sex, go get an elective one at some ultrasound boutique. Ultrasounds cost money. Your doctor performed a medically unnecessary ultrasound at your request, and frankly, I hope your insurance company denies the claim and you have to pay the out of pocket amount for it. I don't want to pay to subsidize your need to know what's between your baby's legs.
And yes, this was partly asked so that you could go shopping. You said it yourself earlier in the thread that you needed to know the sex so that you could shop for your baby because money is tight, so don't try to back track on that.
To all the people that say the doctor needs to do everything with a smile on his face, you are wrong. When people ask you to do things that are outside the realm of your job, do you get angry? I would. To the people who say "Well, he could have just said he was sure it was a girl", in that case I think we'd have a wholly different post on here about how her doctor was a big meanie who wouldn't confirm 100% whether or not her child had a penis or vagina.

Yes

PrimRoseMama · May 2013

Maz:
Wow, this is the first post I have read. You people are HORRIBLE!!!!! Just because someone wants to know the gender of their baby doesn't mean they don't care about the health of the baby. Nothing this woman has said was stupid. Doctors should have a good bedside manner.

I feel very bad that you (OP) have been treated this way. I thought the purpose of this board was to provide support for the people on it. I can't believe people are calling the OP stupid etc.

I think I am done here. I'm off to find a board with decent people on it.

You won't be missed, seriously.

I'll spell it out again for the butthurt newbs that cannot read to save their lives:
1.) No one is saying wanting to know the sex (gender is between the ears people). I am Team Blue. I found out. Obviously I have no problem with others finding out the sex. Its when it becomes the main focus that it is the issue. Especially for trivial shiit like, "I want to shop". She might care about the health of her kid, but for all her arguing about wanting to confirm the sex you wouldn't know it.

2.) Doctors need to be knowledgeable. Not all of them are warm n' fuzzy. Deal with it or find a doctor that will hold your hand and whisper sweet things in your ear. They are professionals, not babysitters or counselors.

3.) I bet my morning coffee (those of you who know me understand the gravity of this wager) that this is an AE/different screen name to white knight for the OP. Lame, OP.

oliversmom03 · May 2013

PrimRoseMama:
Generally, I think doctors are annoyed if all you are focused on is what is between the baby's legs. This is the case in my practice anyway. My own OB and midwives focus more on the health of the baby over all. Sex is always icing on the cake.

yup.

PrimRoseMama · May 2013

Mrs. Mo:
PrimRoseMama:
His job and what the insurance pays him for is to take measurements to ensure the health of the baby.

Also, OP, you may very well be billed for the entire amount of the u/s. Since there wasn't a medical need for it, your insurance may very well deny the charges and thus you will be billed the full amount. Doc do not do u/s for free.

I think my out of pocket billing for an ultrasound is something like 300 to 400 bucks. I am not-so-secretly hoping that OP gets billed every cent for her "just a peak". I despise entitled people that think they should get shiit for free!

MissLauraPants · May 2013

lol at this whole crazy post and people responding

PrimRoseMama · May 2013

tallywah08:
Apparently you people don't find it appropriate to want to know the sex.

:::: No one said that in this thread. Ever. Simply that you didn't need another ultrasound "just to check". It wasn't medically necessary. My God, can you please at least attempt to use your brain and eye balls to TRY to use some reading comprehension? Please act like an adult and READ FFS. No one here said wanting to know the sex was a crime. Simply that you already knew and didn't need to waste the doctor's time for an elective procedure.

tallywah08:
So before you negative people keeping blowing crap out of proportion read with your mind. And absorb what i have said and quit trying to make someone sound bad.

::::You make yourself look bad, honey. No one has to try to do that at all. You and some super special newbies can't seem to read for life of you. Seriously, its kind of sad and I fear the for the future of humanity if this is who is procreating. I honestly can't believe the sheer commitment to sheer missing the point. Sweet jeebus.

alkvoelker · May 2013

tallywah08:
alkvoelker:
WashingtonQueen:
I picture OP acting like this
Yes, that is stupid.
LMAO....I think people put too much stock in sexnowadays. People get their feelings involved and wrapped around this image of a certain sex and then are faced with disappointment when they don't get what they want. One of my biggest pet peeves is people using hormones as an excuse to be a ***.
. How did I act like a *** at all? I didn't even say anything to him about it? The ultrasound took him literally two minutes to do. I asked if it would be a problem they said no. He came in and said he was sure from last time then I proceeded to say oh then don't worry about it. And he continued to do it with a bad attitude I did not demand anything nor was I bratty about it. I'm a grown woman who had a two year old with me. Why would I have acted nasty about it? Apparently you people don't find it appropriate to want to know the sex. Are more worried being smart asses to someone than look at the real topic of what I was saying. It wasn't okay for him to act like that when I certainly did not in any way elicit the behavior he displayed. If he did not think it was necessary he could have said so he is a grown man who has been in his profession for many years so I trusted what he said. But he chose to instead make me feel uncomfortable about it instead of simply stating no I'm sure it's a girl so lets not worry about the ultrasound and do what was planned which I'm sure would have taken just as long as the ultrasound he did do. So before you negative people keeping blowing crap out of proportion read with your mind. And absorb what i have said and quit trying to make someone sound bad. Hardcore with the keyboard much?

Dude, you called it a freakin' gender appointment. And you keep blowing this whole thing out of proportion. If the doc had told you no, you'd still be here complaining about that instead of complaining about his "attitude" about the whole thing. Not to mention how you blamed it on your hormones like every other crazy pregnant b!tch. I'm a b!tch myself, but you are just taking this WAY out there. You need to chill the fluck out and eat a jar of pickles.

tallywah08 · May 2013

PrimRoseMama:
tallywah08:
Apparently you people don't find it appropriate to want to know the sex.
:::: No one said that in this thread. Ever. Simply that you didn't need another ultrasound "just to check". It wasn't medically necessary. My God, can you please at least attempt to use your brain and eye balls to TRY to use some reading comprehension? Please act like an adult and READ FFS. No one here said wanting to know the sex was a crime. Simply that you already knew and didn't need to waste the doctor's time for an elective procedure. 

tallywah08:
So before you negative people keeping blowing crap out of proportion read with your mind. And absorb what i have said and quit trying to make someone sound bad.
::::You make yourself look bad, honey. No one has to try to do that at all.  You and some super special newbies can't seem to read for life of you. Seriously, its kind of sad and I fear the for the future of humanity if this is who is procreating. I honestly can't believe the sheer commitment to sheer missing the point. Sweet jeebus. 

I make myself look bad how? Your just a cynical piece of work. You need a hobby. Badly. Came here to discuss the dr being upset about m my asking nothing else. You people want a reason to argue get over your all knowing selves. Your just being rude. So what if I am new on here. That gives you right to be an ? I'm sure you were a newbie at one point too. But you will keep going just to argue over something y'all have just picked words to put together and use to start some drama. I do care about my baby's health. And for you to say otherwise is pretty messed up. Cynical indeed. I asked if it would be a problem to do an ultrasound and even said that in my original post but here you are acting as if I demanded it and wouldn't take no for an answer. The nurse said it wouldn't be a problem. If the OB thought it was a problem he should have said so. He has known me for three years and knows I'm not the type to disagree with his professional opinion. But you people want to stab at anything else that hasn't been clarified? Oh and I don't expect to get *** free. Never said I did. But there you go again trying to pick a fight over something that I didn't post about. Something that isn't your business nor did I ask your input on it. And if you reply to this I will know it is simply because you have nothing better to do than be argumentative on a thread about wanting to find out the baby's gender. And no I do not create new screen names honestly I have no reason too I can tell you all what I think with out having to assume a new identity. Your being bullies probably like what you act like outrages you in schools but here you are doing the same thing spinning false information out of something I haven't even posted or said. Now we all have a life to get back too. Goodbye and good luck with your future endeavors.

database6 · May 2013

PrimRoseMama:
LuciiLovesHanz:
PrimRoseMama:
The more I read this the more muddy it seems. I think you are over reacting. The doc is not required to hold your hand and coddle you. Sex may be a big deal to you but your doc cares more about the rest of the anatomy. That is his job. If you want someone to squee over the sex then go to an elective place and bring a friend. Seriously, I think you are really too sensitive about this.
imagine it was you in this situation. Would you handle it well? i don't think she wants the doctor to "squee" over her gender, she just wanted confirmation. Maybe you are taking it too seriously yourself. It sounds like she handled herself in a calm manner, and didn't freak out or anything... even her post was calm. And she is asking for validation that the doctor was a little out of line. SHE IS PAYING HIM FOR HIS TIME, so it is "HIS JOB" as you put it, to take the 5 minutes it would have taken to check... Especially since she saw him for her first child. If she had asked about the health of the child you don't know he wouldn't have acted the same way if he had already confirmed everything was okay. so SERIOUSLY.... be a little more compassionate.
That's the thing. I don't think he was out of line. I think she was asking him to do an extra measurement that had been done previously. If this was a follow up anatomy scan [which is what it sounds like] then there is no need to go back and look at a measurement that had been completed successfully. Just because she wasn't satisfied doesn't mean he didn't do his job right. An anatomy scan is not a trip to Burger King. You can't always get things your way with special sauce. His job and what the insurance pays him for is to take measurements to ensure the health of the baby. It is not to take orders from patients that cannot see the Forrest for the trees and are hung up on sex in order to shop. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I get it. She wanted to double check. That doesn't mean that the doc is required to acquiesce to her request with a smile on his face. He's a medical professional and not a trained poodle that is there to do what a patient wants. You are allowed to your opinion. I am allowed to mine. You think she was justified. I do not [and I am not alone]. If it was me I would STFU and stop wasting a medical professional's valuable time. Then I'd go plunk down money for an elective ultrasound if I cared that much. If you have money to shop you have money to spend on an elective u/s at Stork Vision. This is less about a snarky doc and more about the OP [and others] thinking they get to dictate orders during a medical procedure. It's not for your entertainment or so you can shop. It's a medical evaluation.

I disagree with this. Since I work in a doctor's office, I know that it is annoying when someone asks for something that they didn't schedule. I'm not clear on whether they were already doing an anatomy scan or not, but if not, I understand the annoyance. However, I feel that the doctor should not show their annoyance over a situation like this. We pay our providers, and we should be more proactive in dictating our own healthcare. There is a reason for him to go back and look, and it's because his patient requested it. Whether it is important to the health of the child or not is irrelevent. People ask irrelevant questions at the the doctor's office all the time, you have to learn to lose the attitude.

Also, the insurance isn't just paying him, the OP is paying him. Whether that is through an insurance company or not is not important. If he wanted to bill out so that the sex scan wouldn't be covered, and would be the OP's responsibility, he could. Either way, the OP pays for her healthcare (unless she is on government healthcare, and then I have a totally different outlook).

So yes, everyone has their opinion, and I don't feel like the OP was overstepping her bounds. He could have replied with something like "No problem, just schedule an elective with my appointment scheduler on the way out." He didn't have to oblige, but should do everything in his power to please his patient. I know they are "important medical professionals" but my providers focus better be me when he is in the room. That is what they are trained to do.

Phalaenopsis · May 2013

coraggiosa · May 2013

tallywah08:
PrimRoseMama:
tallywah08:
Apparently you people don't find it appropriate to want to know the sex.
:::: No one said that in this thread. Ever. Simply that you didn't need another ultrasound "just to check". It wasn't medically necessary. My God, can you please at least attempt to use your brain and eye balls to TRY to use some reading comprehension? Please act like an adult and READ FFS. No one here said wanting to know the sex was a crime. Simply that you already knew and didn't need to waste the doctor's time for an elective procedure.

tallywah08:
So before you negative people keeping blowing crap out of proportion read with your mind. And absorb what i have said and quit trying to make someone sound bad.
::::You make yourself look bad, honey. No one has to try to do that at all. You and some super special newbies can't seem to read for life of you. Seriously, its kind of sad and I fear the for the future of humanity if this is who is procreating. I honestly can't believe the sheer commitment to sheer missing the point. Sweet jeebus.
I make myself look bad how? Your just a cynical piece of work. You need a hobby. Badly. Came here to discuss the dr being upset about m my asking nothing else. You people want a reason to argue get over your all knowing selves. Your just being rude. So what if I am new on here. That gives you right to be an ? I'm sure you were a newbie at one point too. But you will keep going just to argue over something y'all have just picked words to put together and use to start some drama. I do care about my baby's health. And for you to say otherwise is pretty messed up. Cynical indeed. I asked if it would be a problem to do an ultrasound and even said that in my original post but here you are acting as if I demanded it and wouldn't take no for an answer. The nurse said it wouldn't be a problem. If the OB thought it was a problem he should have said so. He has known me for three years and knows I'm not the type to disagree with his professional opinion. But you people want to stab at anything else that hasn't been clarified? Oh and I don't expect to get *** free. Never said I did. But there you go again trying to pick a fight over something that I didn't post about. Something that isn't your business nor did I ask your input on it. And if you reply to this I will know it is simply because you have nothing better to do than be argumentative on a thread about wanting to find out the baby's gender. And no I do not create new screen names honestly I have no reason too I can tell you all what I think with out having to assume a new identity. Your being bullies probably like what you act like outrages you in schools but here you are doing the same thing spinning false information out of something I haven't even posted or said. Now we all have a life to get back too. Goodbye and good luck with your future endeavors.

You put this on a public message board. Learn that you invited opinions the moment you posted this and stop acting all butthurt that people are calling you out for being upset that your doctor was annoyed at being asked to do a medically unnecessary procedure. You are being a drama queen and saying that you are thinking of switching doctors because he was rightfully annoyed at your request. Seriously, do you ALWAYS perform your job with a smile?

Also, good grammar and proper spelling go a long way in making you seem even a little bit credible.

alkvoelker · May 2013

coraggiosa:
You put this on a public message board. Learn that you invited opinions the moment you posted this and stop acting all butthurt that people are calling you out for being upset that your doctor was annoyed at being asked to do a medically unnecessary procedure. You are being a drama queen and saying that you are thinking of switching doctors because he was rightfully annoyed at your request. Seriously, do you ALWAYS perform your job with a smile?
Also, good grammar and proper spelling go a long way in making you seem even a little bit credible.

Boom.

Edit: Fluck, I give up. Stupid GIF....

taylormarie923 · May 2013

I'm going to be honest - I didn't read any of that, but a cat gif is always warranted when posts go on for this long with no interesting topic at hand.

alkvoelker · May 2013

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