UO

lancyjo · October 2012

NatesLady1309:
livinginashoe:
NatesLady1309:

I love this. I only NIP with a cover unless it's in the car or something. I would be too terrified to let it all hang out, mostly because some guys are just pervs and will take any peek they can get. Somehow NIP makes me feel empowered though. I'll sort of be sad when she doesn't nurse anymore and I won't get to do it, haha.

If there was a sit-in near me I would totally do it though, with no cover if DH was OK with it. Nursing moms should have more rights in more places.

LOL at asking your husband first. Sorry, but asking your husband if you can participate in a women's rights protest is all kinds of backwards.

Only because it's my boob that would be hanging out for all to see, so yeah, I would be asking if it was OK with him first. I wouldn't want him showing himself off in a "protest" if it wasn't OK with me (obviously there's not really an equal comparison on WHAT he could be showing but you get the point) so what's the difference? I respect his wishes. Nothing shameful about that.

If it was a march for women's right to vote or something, it's not something I feel like I'd have to talk to him about first because there's no showing of private parts during something like that. It's kinda different.

Just a few thoughts...

First, I don't think you have to let your boob hang out to NIP. The few times I did it, people didn't even notice. For that matter, when I do see people in public doing it, I rarely ever see skin. It's not like you'd be just letting people look at your naked boobs. If that's what you think a NIP sit-in is, I think you're confused.

Second, this is a women's rights issue. What I think Shoe was getting at is that asking a man permission to participate in a women's rights demonstration completely defeats the purpose.

HattieLove · October 2012

Lawren:
I totally think people vote for their own kid in the photo contests.

I have never voted for my own kid, but sometimes when I'm feeling bad that she isn't getting any votes, I don't vote for anyone. I am well aware of how silly this is.

HattieLove · October 2012

Jen0204:
I don't understand when people say they don't believe in the information from studies (clarification - studies from credible sources). To be an official, published study that is believed in the medical community they have to follow certain guidelines when gathering and evaluating their information. It's not like someone studies 12 kids and publishes a study (well, except the doctor who linked vaccines and autism, but his "study" has been debunked and he lost his license).
Of course, I don't follow the advice of every single study - the girls sleep with levies and light blankets now, we have coslept on occasion, we used the BundleMes and I'm sure there are other things we've done that go against recommendations. But I still appreciate the studies because they give me information and allow us to make a more informed decision.
I've seen a few people on here say that they don't buy the results of studies because they must be biased, and it just baffles me. Look at CIO. People against CIO point to studies showing that kids can be emotionally damaged, but some of those studies were done with kids in orphanages who don't get as much attention generally speaking as our kids do, and other studies have focused on babies who are allowed to cry for a long time with no one checking in on them to comfort them. We've done some CIO but those studies still provided valuable information and helped us make a decision. Credible studies aren't biased - they provide results based on chosen studied factors. Read the study, understand the factors behind it that are or are not applicable to your situation, and use the information accordingly.

I agree with all of this whole-heartedly and I just want to say that I am always really impressed with your eloquence and intelligence. I always keep an eye out for your posts :-)

NatesLady1309 · October 2012

lancyjo:
NatesLady1309:

Only because it's my boob that would be hanging out for all to see, so yeah, I would be asking if it was OK with him first. I wouldn't want him showing himself off in a "protest" if it wasn't OK with me (obviously there's not really an equal comparison on WHAT he could be showing but you get the point) so what's the difference? I respect his wishes. Nothing shameful about that.

If it was a march for women's right to vote or something, it's not something I feel like I'd have to talk to him about first because there's no showing of private parts during something like that. It's kinda different.

Just a few thoughts...

First, I don't think you have to let your boob hang out to NIP. The few times I did it, people didn't even notice. For that matter, when I do see people in public doing it, I rarely ever see skin. It's not like you'd be just letting people look at your naked boobs. If that's what you think a NIP sit-in is, I think you're confused.

Second, this is a women's rights issue. What I think Shoe was getting at is that asking a man permission to participate in a women's rights demonstration completely defeats the purpose.

I agree that you don't have to let your boob hang out to NIP. I just do it discreetly when I'm with a group of women friends sometimes and it's not like my whole boob HAS to be showing or it doesn't work or anything. I'm sure there would be a combo of ladies letting it all hang out, some who do it discreetly, and some who use covers at a sit-in.

I also agree with your second point, but in this case I think there's more to consider simply because it's not JUST about women's rights IF I were to be going with the intention of NIP without a cover, which could potentially expose me more likely than if I DID use a cover. He wouldn't be comfy with that (I actually asked him a few mins ago just for the heck of it), so I would just do it with a cover. NBD. He doesn't care if I NIP with a cover, happens pretty often. He's not controlling or anything, he just doesn't want me potentially showing off the goods any more than necessary (understandably), so a cover more or less solves that. Sure, she's wiggly sometimes and if you're staring you might see something for a second but oh well.

bikitybinx · October 2012

Lawren:
I totally think people vote for their own kid in the photo contests.

Yeah I don't enter Natalie in any of these contests, partially because of this and I wouldn't vote for her because that's just cheesy, and also because it would kill me to see her get no votes or a fraction of others. I'm not going to pit her against other babies in a cuteness contest. I'm not knocking those who do, it's just not for me. I'd feel like I was betraying her somehow, if that makes any sense. I don't even bother to look at the contest threads, tbh.

Jen0204 · October 2012

HattieLove:

I agree with all of this whole-heartedly and I just want to say that I am always really impressed with your eloquence and intelligence. I always keep an eye out for your posts :-)

Aww, thanks!

kittyh8r · October 2012

NatesLady1309:
lancyjo:
NatesLady1309:

Only because it's my boob that would be hanging out for all to see, so yeah, I would be asking if it was OK with him first. I wouldn't want him showing himself off in a "protest" if it wasn't OK with me (obviously there's not really an equal comparison on WHAT he could be showing but you get the point) so what's the difference? I respect his wishes. Nothing shameful about that.

If it was a march for women's right to vote or something, it's not something I feel like I'd have to talk to him about first because there's no showing of private parts during something like that. It's kinda different.

Just a few thoughts...

First, I don't think you have to let your boob hang out to NIP. The few times I did it, people didn't even notice. For that matter, when I do see people in public doing it, I rarely ever see skin. It's not like you'd be just letting people look at your naked boobs. If that's what you think a NIP sit-in is, I think you're confused.

Second, this is a women's rights issue. What I think Shoe was getting at is that asking a man permission to participate in a women's rights demonstration completely defeats the purpose.
I agree that you don't have to let your boob hang out to NIP. I just do it discreetly when I'm with a group of women friends sometimes and it's not like my whole boob HAS to be showing or it doesn't work or anything. I'm sure there would be a combo of ladies letting it all hang out, some who do it discreetly, and some who use covers at a sit-in.

I also agree with your second point, but in this case I think there's more to consider simply because it's not JUST about women's rights IF I were to be going with the intention of NIP without a cover, which could potentially expose me more likely than if I DID use a cover. He wouldn't be comfy with that (I actually asked him a few mins ago just for the heck of it), so I would just do it with a cover. NBD. He doesn't care if I NIP with a cover, happens pretty often. He's not controlling or anything, he just doesn't want me potentially showing off the goods any more than necessary (understandably), so a cover more or less solves that. Sure, she's wiggly sometimes and if you're staring you might see something for a second but oh well.

I can kind of relate. My husband isn't controlling or anything, but when we had talked about the possibility of me NIP he had said that he would just like me to make an effort to not show too much. He said he understood if DD wouldn't let me use a cover, but just wanted me to try to be as discreet as possible.

For me though, if you happen to see a nip slip...you're welcome. (:

HattieLove · October 2012

NatesLady1309:
If there was a sit-in near me I would totally do it though, with no cover if DH was OK with it. Nursing moms should have more rights in more places.

Is this a joke?

edit: ah, I see shoe has got it covered (no pun intended)

runrinserepeat · October 2012

NatesLady1309:

He wouldn't be comfy with that (I actually asked him a few mins ago just for the heck of it),

Funny, I just asked my husband, and this is his answer ver batim:

"i like seeing them. feel free to whip them out"

Mistifier · October 2012

HattieLove:
Jen0204:
I don't understand when people say they don't believe in the information from studies (clarification - studies from credible sources). To be an official, published study that is believed in the medical community they have to follow certain guidelines when gathering and evaluating their information. It's not like someone studies 12 kids and publishes a study (well, except the doctor who linked vaccines and autism, but his "study" has been debunked and he lost his license). 
Of course, I don't follow the advice of every single study - the girls sleep with levies and light blankets now, we have coslept on occasion, we used the BundleMes and I'm sure there are other things we've done that go against recommendations. But I still appreciate the studies because they give me information and allow us to make a more informed decision.  
I've seen a few people on here say that they don't buy the results of studies because they must be biased, and it just baffles me. Look at CIO. People against CIO point to studies showing that kids can be emotionally damaged, but some of those studies were done with kids in orphanages who don't get as much attention generally speaking as our kids do, and other studies have focused on babies who are allowed to cry for a long time with no one checking in on them to comfort them. We've done some CIO but those studies still provided valuable information and helped us make a decision. Credible studies aren't biased - they provide results based on chosen studied factors. Read the study, understand the factors behind it that are or are not applicable to your situation, and use the information accordingly. 
I agree with all of this whole-heartedly and I just want to say that I am always really impressed with your eloquence and intelligence. I always keep an eye out for your posts :-)

Here here!!!

NatesLady1309 · October 2012

kleMcK:
NatesLady1309:

He wouldn't be comfy with that (I actually asked him a few mins ago just for the heck of it),

Funny, I just asked my husband, and this is his answer ver batim:

"i like seeing them. feel free to whip them out"

Ha. Nice. It really doesn't bother me as long as your DH doesn't care. It's just a respect issue for me.

Mistifier · October 2012

EmmaBoBemma:
NatesLady1309:
lancyjo:
NatesLady1309:

Only because it's my boob that would be hanging out for all to see, so yeah, I would be asking if it was OK with him first. I wouldn't want him showing himself off in a "protest" if it wasn't OK with me (obviously there's not really an equal comparison on WHAT he could be showing but you get the point) so what's the difference? I respect his wishes. Nothing shameful about that.

If it was a march for women's right to vote or something, it's not something I feel like I'd have to talk to him about first because there's no showing of private parts during something like that. It's kinda different.

Just a few thoughts...

First, I don't think you have to let your boob hang out to NIP. The few times I did it, people didn't even notice. For that matter, when I do see people in public doing it, I rarely ever see skin. It's not like you'd be just letting people look at your naked boobs. If that's what you think a NIP sit-in is, I think you're confused.

Second, this is a women's rights issue. What I think Shoe was getting at is that asking a man permission to participate in a women's rights demonstration completely defeats the purpose.
I agree that you don't have to let your boob hang out to NIP. I just do it discreetly when I'm with a group of women friends sometimes and it's not like my whole boob HAS to be showing or it doesn't work or anything. I'm sure there would be a combo of ladies letting it all hang out, some who do it discreetly, and some who use covers at a sit-in.

I also agree with your second point, but in this case I think there's more to consider simply because it's not JUST about women's rights IF I were to be going with the intention of NIP without a cover, which could potentially expose me more likely than if I DID use a cover. He wouldn't be comfy with that (I actually asked him a few mins ago just for the heck of it), so I would just do it with a cover. NBD. He doesn't care if I NIP with a cover, happens pretty often. He's not controlling or anything, he just doesn't want me potentially showing off the goods any more than necessary (understandably), so a cover more or less solves that. Sure, she's wiggly sometimes and if you're staring you might see something for a second but oh well.
 
I can kind of relate. My husband isn't controlling or anything, but when we had talked about the possibility of me NIP he had said that he would just like me to make an effort to not show too much. He said he understood if DD wouldn't let me use a cover, but just wanted me to try to be as discreet as possible.
For me though, if you happen to see a nip slip...you're welcome. (: 

I can also relate. DH encourages me to NIP, however he does prefer for me to use a cover. I'm not in the least bothered by that, and I WANT his opinion on it.

naturegal79 · October 2012

Mistifier:
HattieLove:
Jen0204:

I don't understand when people say they don't believe in the information from studies (clarification - studies from credible sources). To be an official, published study that is believed in the medical community they have to follow certain guidelines when gathering and evaluating their information. It's not like someone studies 12 kids and publishes a study (well, except the doctor who linked vaccines and autism, but his "study" has been debunked and he lost his license).

Of course, I don't follow the advice of every single study - the girls sleep with levies and light blankets now, we have coslept on occasion, we used the BundleMes and I'm sure there are other things we've done that go against recommendations. But I still appreciate the studies because they give me information and allow us to make a more informed decision.

I've seen a few people on here say that they don't buy the results of studies because they must be biased, and it just baffles me. Look at CIO. People against CIO point to studies showing that kids can be emotionally damaged, but some of those studies were done with kids in orphanages who don't get as much attention generally speaking as our kids do, and other studies have focused on babies who are allowed to cry for a long time with no one checking in on them to comfort them. We've done some CIO but those studies still provided valuable information and helped us make a decision. Credible studies aren't biased - they provide results based on chosen studied factors. Read the study, understand the factors behind it that are or are not applicable to your situation, and use the information accordingly.

I agree with all of this whole-heartedly and I just want to say that I am always really impressed with your eloquence and intelligence. I always keep an eye out for your posts :-)

Here here!!!

Ditto on this Jen... It amazes me that people don't research or learn about the subjects themselves before bashing the actual study. You have to look at the subjects and if the tests they run are valid and THEN you can make a sound decision. Many studies fail because they use improper subjects for their studies, yet many still decide that it's ok to call it a study and broadcast it when there is no clear hypothesis behind it.

jja0812 · October 2012

NatesLady and EmmaBoBemma, I completely understand what you are both saying, but I don't think many others here are going to bother trying. It's not a control issue, it's a respect issue. It really has nothing to do with permission or ownership (which, I'm sure, is where this is headed).... I would not blatantly and purposefully do ANYTHING that I felt would be a total disregard for the feelings of my husband, the person you (supposedly) love more than anything. But that's our relationship.

For the record, I have no idea if it would bother my husband if I whipped my breast out in public to feed our son. I personally prefer to be discreet, so it's never come up. I just wanted to chime in because I feel like people are missing the point and making this an issue of ownership and submission, when it's just an example of different dynamics in a relationship than you may be used to.

NatnDyl · October 2012

bikitybinx:

Lawren:
I totally think people vote for their own kid in the photo contests.

Yeah I don't enter Natalie in any of these contests, partially because of this and I wouldn't vote for her because that's just cheesy, and also because it would kill me to see her get no votes or a fraction of others. I'm not going to pit her against other babies in a cuteness contest. I'm not knocking those who do, it's just not for me. I'd feel like I was betraying her somehow, if that makes any sense. I don't even bother to look at the contest threads, tbh.

All of this, especially the bold.

Also lolling at asking to NIP. This is how it sounds in my head: "Honey, is it ok if I feed our child while we're out and about?" "NO! No one else can see your boobs EVAR!"

heymommy · October 2012

karleegirl:
I think any namebrand Displayed all over a product is tacky. That goes for American eagle as well as coach. I was walking through the mall with my teenager. We passed ae and I noticed hoodies on sale. He told me those we're very much middle school and 9 th grade. No older kids wore those anymore. Lol

The Abercrombie has always bugged me the most. I don't like that brand anyway, the half nude borderline erotic photos on the wall are over the top. Add their past controversies and it's a big No- no. Aero just seems to be a copy cat of A&F so I avoid them too. It's all the kids wear around here and it drives me crazy.. Maybe I should up the age I mentioned.. Maybe my UO should be- people with children old enough to wear A&F and Aero logo shirts should not be wearing them, you are not fooling anyone dressing like your teen.

The wording on the shirts is just getting old. They need to think of something new. It's been 10 years.

I have a gap hoodie, I'm not exactly a fashionista. My wardrobe is mostly jeans and tees I can't even fit into right now. I wore maternity jean and a shirt yesterday. So I really should not even be talking.

heymommy · October 2012

Lawren:
I totally think people vote for their own kid in the photo contests.

I don't!

Mistifier · October 2012

My UO: sometimes feminists irritate me. If I decide to be a SAHM that doesn't mean I don't care about women's rights, and it is not going to make me unfit for rejoining the workforce down the road. I know many women who were SAHM till their kids were in school and they have great careers.

poobear2015 · October 2012

Jessicameron:
I guess my UO is that I think the movie GIFs are fun. I'm actually surprised now that this theme won the poll, given the number of people who have since expressed distaste!

I too am surprised it won the poll since so many dislike it. There were loads of other options. O well - November I'm sure will be less scary.

I'm growing less interested in the photo contest. Maybe switching to every other week will freshen it up for me. I only put a photo in on occasion since I can't hold a candle to some of you lovely photographers (seriously - I envy your talent!)

I think it would be cool to throw in some other artsy/creative themes so that it's not always "the cutest kid" contest and more of a creativity thing. That's why I'm secretly waiting for the theme where it's something other than the face (hands/arms/what have you). I love Klemck's siggy where we can't see her face. Maybe it's my love for art that pulls me toward something a little different. Thats usually how I vote - I look for a pic that isn't just smile at the camera/posed around props. I like when they are candid and natural.

HattieLove · October 2012

I don't like "mommy". It just sounds so dumb to me. I'm hoping DD sticks to "mama".

runrinserepeat · October 2012

poobear2015:
I love Klemck's siggy where we can't see her face.

Aww, thanks

naturegal79 · October 2012

HattieLove:
I don't like "mommy". It just sounds so dumb to me. I'm hoping DD sticks to "mama".

It also reminds me of " Mommy Dearest" the movie....

redheadscu · October 2012

bikitybinx:

Lawren:
I totally think people vote for their own kid in the photo contests.

Yeah I don't enter Natalie in any of these contests, partially because of this and I wouldn't vote for her because that's just cheesy, and also because it would kill me to see her get no votes or a fraction of others. I'm not going to pit her against other babies in a cuteness contest. I'm not knocking those who do, it's just not for me. I'd feel like I was betraying her somehow, if that makes any sense. I don't even bother to look at the contest threads, tbh.

I don't participate in the photo contests anymore, because my work computer is so lame that PIPing or changing my signature has become a major event. The few times I did enter in the early months of the photo contests, Marky never got more than either 0 or 1 vote. I never voted for him, because I figure, he's a baby, has no idea about the photo contest, and so he can't have hurt feelings. I guess it's more of a FFC than an UO, but I totally figured he didn't get votes, because everyone was just jealous of how beautiful, cute, and awesome he is! Stick out tongue

fredpuma · October 2012

I think the point shoe and others are trying to make is that nip isn't a sexual act. It shouldn't be seen as one. It should be no different than feeding a bottle or finger foods. So, why should you have to ask if it's ok? If you think it's ok for your dh to say he's uncomfortable with you nip, why isn't it ok for the restaurant to say they aren't comfortable with it?

redheadscu · October 2012

fredpuma:
I think the point shoe and others are trying to make is that nip isn't a sexual act. It shouldn't be seen as one. It should be no different than feeding a bottle or finger foods. So, why should you have to ask if it's ok? If you think it's ok for your dh to say he's uncomfortable with you nip, why isn't it ok for the restaurant to say they aren't comfortable with it?

I'll take a stab at this one......Is it, "Because, she didn't choose to make a life long commitment to the restaurant?"

kittyh8r · October 2012

fredpuma:
I think the point shoe and others are trying to make is that nip isn't a sexual act. It shouldn't be seen as one. It should be no different than feeding a bottle or finger foods. So, why should you have to ask if it's ok? If you think it's ok for your dh to say he's uncomfortable with you nip, why isn't it ok for the restaurant to say they aren't comfortable with it?

This is silly. We don't look at breast feeding as a sexual act. What my husband would hate is for someone WHO DOES look at breast feeding as a sexual act to get off on me being exposed while NIP. He is all for breast feeding whenever, where ever, but he would just like me to try and be discreet.

If there was a 'Sit in' near by me, I would discuss with my husband what his thoughts were, not so much asking permission.

ssimon621 · October 2012

EmmaBoBemma:

fredpuma:
I think the point shoe and others are trying to make is that nip isn't a sexual act. It shouldn't be seen as one. It should be no different than feeding a bottle or finger foods. So, why should you have to ask if it's ok? If you think it's ok for your dh to say he's uncomfortable with you nip, why isn't it ok for the restaurant to say they aren't comfortable with it?

This is silly. We don't look at breast feeding as a sexual act. What my husband would hate is for someone WHO DOES look at breast feeding as a sexual act to get off on me being exposed while NIP. He is all for breast feeding whenever, where ever, but he would just like me to try and be discreet.

If there was a 'Sit in' near by me, I would discuss with my husband what his thoughts were, not so much asking permission.

This. My DH doesn't mind me NIP, but he much prefers me to cover myself while doing it. He doesn't like the idea of other people trying to catch a quick peek at me when I'm trying to feed my child. It is simply a respect thing.

Personally, I think NIP is overrated and it's poor planning to me. If you are going out and you know your child is hungry try to schedule the outing around that. It definitely makes more sense for me to feed my child in the car before going into the mall than to get in the mall and 15 minutes later having to stop what I'm doing to nurse a baby on a bench. Even if I were bottle feeding I would try my best to do it before going out with the baby or in the car instead of trying to figure out how to mix a formula bottle and maneuver a child that would probably be distracted by all the people walking by.

Also, NIP requires me to think too hard about what I'm going to wear because I need a top that can be pulled down easily or wear a cami under my top so I don't expose my belly and breast. Why put myself through all that trouble to make a point.

Women don't have to take the full 12 weeks of FMLA when having a child to prove a Women's Rights issue so why is NIP such a big deal? Some people choose to take 6 weeks of maternity leave and some take 12. Some people NIP, others don't it's all a personal choice. Get over it!

fredpuma · October 2012

Some creep could get off by watching me walk the baby to the park. I can't stop other people from being sick. Nursing in public shouldn't be seen as anything different than any other activity that you do by the majority of the people out there. It's just the way you feed your baby. By asking your husband if it's ok you're acknowledging that it IS something different. I don't know how you nurse, but people see more of my boobs when I'm wearing a bathing suit than when I'm breastfeeding. So unless you also ask your husband if you can wear a bathing suit to the pool, I don't see why you should have to ask if you can nip. And I'm not talking about being or not being discreet. I don't think anyone needs to go throw nipple around the mall. But quietly breastfeeding at a restaurant shouldn't be seen as exposing yourself.

mkarns · October 2012

jesse1117:

OMFG...Dead with this GIF. You never, NEVER cease to thrill me with your choice of GIF. Love. Love. Love.

ssimon621 · October 2012

fredpuma:
Some creep could get off by watching me walk the baby to the park. I can't stop other people from being sick. Nursing in public shouldn't be seen as anything different than any other activity that you do by the majority of the people out there. It's just the way you feed your baby. By asking your husband if it's ok you're acknowledging that it IS something different. I don't know how you nurse, but people see more of my boobs when I'm wearing a bathing suit than when I'm breastfeeding. So unless you also ask your husband if you can wear a bathing suit to the pool, I don't see why you should have to ask if you can nip. And I'm not talking about being or not being discreet. I don't think anyone needs to go throw nipple around the mall. But quietly breastfeeding at a restaurant shouldn't be seen as exposing yourself.

Would you ask your DH if it were okay to wear a G-String bikini to the beach? Would your DH be okay if you wore a bathing suit to work? I'm sure he wouldn't like those ideas as much. Having your body partially exposed is one thing, but unnecessarily exposing body parts without considering his feelings is different.

I think all of us who mentioned bringing it up to our DH's stated that we would only ask him how he felt if we were NIP without a cover not NIP in general. Why expose yourself more than necessary. I think it would be a different story if your child refused to nurse under a cover and if you just didn't try using a cover at all.

I have definitely seen women sitting on benches in the mall with their full shirt up, no nursing tank and entire bra and half a boob showing in order to nurse their child. Personally, I don't think that is necessary and I know my husband would think I was being ridiculous if I did a thing like that.

sooner1981 · October 2012

ssimon621:

Would you ask your DH if it were okay to wear a G-String bikini to the beach? Would your DH be okay if you wore a bathing suit to work? I'm sure he wouldn't like those ideas as much. Having your body partially exposed is one thing, but unnecessarily exposing body parts without considering his feelings is different.

I think all of us who mentioned bringing it up to our DH's stated that we would only ask him how he felt if we were NIP without a cover not NIP in general. Why expose yourself more than necessary. I think it would be a different story if your child refused to nurse under a cover and if you just didn't try using a cover at all.

I have definitely seen women sitting on benches in the mall with their full shirt up, no nursing tank and entire bra and half a boob showing in order to nurse their child. Personally, I don't think that is necessary and I know my husband would think I was being ridiculous if I did a thing like that.

I think there is just a divide here between the women who would ask their husbands and the ones who wouldn't. The ones who would ask their husbands appear to view nursing in public as an act on par with wearing a G-string to the beach or flashing skin at the office. The ones who wouldn't ask their husbands view nursing in public as a way to ensure their babies don't go hungry while they are out and about living their lives.

Just to clarify--nursing in public shouldn't be "sexy" if you are doing it right. If you can nurse with a cover effectively and your baby is happy with that, as many of the "husband askers" seem to be able to do, then why would you even think of going to a sit in and expose your boobs unecessarily? It seems like unecessarily revealing your boobs when you don't actually need to in order to feed your child would be the equivalent of wearing a bikini to the office--completely unecessary and bizarre--and counterproductive to the whole "normalizing breasfeeding" movement. The women who nurse in public without covers are usually the ones whose babies freak out when covered. I have only nursed without a cover a couple months ago for a period of a couple weeks. It started when my baby started biting me hard whenever I put a blanket over her head. So, I stopped using the blanket and started doing the tank top under the shirt, and it was fine. Once she stopped biting me, I went back to the blanket cover.

I just can't imagine asking my husband whether it would be okay to feed our baby while I am out and about. But, I guess I also can't' imagine agreeing with NateLady's view that women who aren't stay at home moms damage their relationships with their kiddos, so I guess I have to be okay with not understanding all points of view in this world

Just a side note--I literally live in the reddest, most conservative state in the country. All 77 counties in my state voted for McCain in the last election. I have nursed in public, mostly with a blanket over C, except for the couple weeks I described above, for the last 7.5 months. I have never, ever received so much as a side eye from a stranger. In fact, the only thing I have ever noticed is the "knowing" smiles of fellow mothers who give me some silent encouragement as they walk by. But then again, when I am nursing in public, I don't constantly think that I am doing the equivalent of wearing a g-string to the beach, so maybe I just look more nonchalanent and less open to critisicm than someone who may view nursing in public as a risque, potentially sexy act?

Finaly note-- I don't agree with the prior poster who said that nursing in public is the result of poor planning. I BF, but I can't imagine living my life to make sure I was back home every 2 hours, so that my LO could eat. My husband and I have found that we are getting to do almost all the things we used to do on the weekend and on holidays thanks to me being so fortunate as being able to continue breastfeeding. Yesterday, we went on a 6.5 mile hike to a moutain waterfall in the Rockies, and I was wearing C in a carrier. She was mainly on my back, but a couple times during the 4.5 hour hike, I was able to turn her around to my front and nurse her while continuing to hike up the trail. It was so convenient!

Mistifier · October 2012

jesse1117:
Mistifier:
My UO: sometimes feminists irritate me. If I decide to be a SAHM that doesn't mean I don't care about women's rights, and it is not going to make me unfit for rejoining the workforce down the road. I know many women who were SAHM till their kids were in school and they have great careers.

If there is one topic that ceased to be interesting a million years ago, it's SAHMs feeling superior to working moms and vice versa. Let's never, ever, ever discuss that again. Really. Please.

Plus, who the hell is going around calling themselves a feminist these days? It hasn't been the seventies for a really long time.

I never said anything about one being superior to the other, and I'm not trying to "discuss" anything, I'm simply making a statement about encounters I have had when I have mentioned to people I was considering being a SAHM. And for the record, I know many women who consider themselves feminists.

Jen0204 · October 2012

I are with everything that Sooner said. You can nurse modestly in public without a cover, and comparing NIP without a cover to wearing a bathing suit in an office environment is crazy. I'm sure if when I was BFing I uncovered my whole boob in public and let it hang out there while I got the babies situated my H wouldn't be too thrilled, but personally I wouldn't want to see someone else do that either. However, I don't think that's what anyone on here does when they NIP without a cover. I think that viewing it as something that's so controversial that it warrants checking with your H to see what his views are on it is exactly the thinking that makes people side eye it when they see it - it's just a natural way of feeding your baby and it shouldn't be a big deal.

NatesLady1309 · October 2012

Jessicameron:
NatesLady and EmmaBoBemma, I completely understand what you are both saying, but I don't think many others here are going to bother trying. It's not a control issue, it's a respect issue. It really has nothing to do with permission or ownership (which, I'm sure, is where this is headed).... I would not blatantly and purposefully do ANYTHING that I felt would be a total disregard for the feelings of my husband, the person you (supposedly) love more than anything. But that's our relationship.
For the record, I have no idea if it would bother my husband if I whipped my breast out in public to feed our son. I personally prefer to be discreet, so it's never come up. I just wanted to chime in because I feel like people are missing the point and making this an issue of ownership and submission, when it's just an example of different dynamics in a relationship than you may be used to.

Very well said. Awesome.

NatnDyl · October 2012

sooner1981:
ssimon621:

Would you ask your DH if it were okay to wear a G-String bikini to the beach? Would your DH be okay if you wore a bathing suit to work? I'm sure he wouldn't like those ideas as much. Having your body partially exposed is one thing, but unnecessarily exposing body parts without considering his feelings is different.

I think all of us who mentioned bringing it up to our DH's stated that we would only ask him how he felt if we were NIP without a cover not NIP in general. Why expose yourself more than necessary. I think it would be a different story if your child refused to nurse under a cover and if you just didn't try using a cover at all.

I have definitely seen women sitting on benches in the mall with their full shirt up, no nursing tank and entire bra and half a boob showing in order to nurse their child. Personally, I don't think that is necessary and I know my husband would think I was being ridiculous if I did a thing like that.

I think there is just a divide here between the women who would ask their husbands and the ones who wouldn't. The ones who would ask their husbands appear to view nursing in public as an act on par with wearing a G-string to the beach or flashing skin at the office. The ones who wouldn't ask their husbands view nursing in public as a way to ensure their babies don't go hungry while they are out and about living their lives.

Just to clarify--nursing in public shouldn't be "sexy" if you are doing it right. If you can nurse with a cover effectively and your baby is happy with that, as many of the "husband askers" seem to be able to do, then why would you even think of going to a sit in and expose your boobs unecessarily? It seems like unecessarily revealing your boobs when you don't actually need to in order to feed your child would be the equivalent of wearing a bikini to the office--completely unecessary and bizarre--and counterproductive to the whole "normalizing breasfeeding" movement. The women who nurse in public without covers are usually the ones whose babies freak out when covered. I have only nursed without a cover a couple months ago for a period of a couple weeks. It started when my baby started biting me hard whenever I put a blanket over her head. So, I stopped using the blanket and started doing the tank top under the shirt, and it was fine. Once she stopped biting me, I went back to the blanket cover.

I just can't imagine asking my husband whether it would be okay to feed our baby while I am out and about. But, I guess I also can't' imagine agreeing with NateLady's view that women who aren't stay at home moms damage their relationships with their kiddos, so I guess I have to be okay with not understanding all points of view in this world

Just a side note--I literally live in the reddest, most conservative state in the country. All 77 counties in my state voted for McCain in the last election. I have nursed in public, mostly with a blanket over C, except for the couple weeks I described above, for the last 7.5 months. I have never, ever received so much as a side eye from a stranger. In fact, the only thing I have ever noticed is the "knowing" smiles of fellow mothers who give me some silent encouragement as they walk by. But then again, when I am nursing in public, I don't constantly think that I am doing the equivalent of wearing a g-string to the beach, so maybe I just look more nonchalanent and less open to critisicm than someone who may view nursing in public as a risque, potentially sexy act?

Finaly note-- I don't agree with the prior poster who said that nursing in public is the result of poor planning. I BF, but I can't imagine living my life to make sure I was back home every 2 hours, so that my LO could eat. My husband and I have found that we are getting to do almost all the things we used to do on the weekend and on holidays thanks to me being so fortunate as being able to continue breastfeeding. Yesterday, we went on a 6.5 mile hike to a moutain waterfall in the Rockies, and I was wearing C in a carrier. She was mainly on my back, but a couple times during the 4.5 hour hike, I was able to turn her around to my front and nurse her while continuing to hike up the trail. It was so convenient!

Thank you so much for saying it so eloquently. I agree whole heartedly.

Lena122 · October 2012

I think that making sure your husband is okay with you nursing in public and making sure your husband is okay with you participating in a demonstration are 2 different things. I also think that "making sure he's okay with it" and "asking permission" are 2 different things.

I'm not the demonstrating type no matter what the cause mostly because I'm not a fan of large crowds. DH is the same way. We're both in law enforcement and being in large crowds tends to make us uncomfortable. I don't nurse but if I did I would talk to DH about whether or not he was okay with it because I would be taking his child with me to do it. Now depending on his answer and his reasoning I might just go anyway if I really wanted to.

I hardly ever even bottle feed in public though so what do I know...

kittyh8r · October 2012

fredpuma:
Some creep could get off by watching me walk the baby to the park. I can't stop other people from being sick. Nursing in public shouldn't be seen as anything different than any other activity that you do by the majority of the people out there. It's just the way you feed your baby. By asking your husband if it's ok you're acknowledging that it IS something different. I don't know how you nurse, but people see more of my boobs when I'm wearing a bathing suit than when I'm breastfeeding. So unless you also ask your husband if you can wear a bathing suit to the pool, I don't see why you should have to ask if you can nip. And I'm not talking about being or not being discreet. I don't think anyone needs to go throw nipple around the mall. But quietly breastfeeding at a restaurant shouldn't be seen as exposing yourself.

Like I said, not asking permission...discussing it. simple as that.

NatesLady1309 · October 2012

EmmaBoBemma:
This is silly. We don't look at breast feeding as a sexual act. What my husband would hate is for someone WHO DOES look at breast feeding as a sexual act to get off on me being exposed while NIP. He is all for breast feeding whenever, where ever, but he would just like me to try and be discreet.
If there was a 'Sit in' near by me, I would discuss with my husband what his thoughts were, not so much asking permission.

This is me too. It's not a "permission" thing, it's just a respect issue. Again, if your DH doesn't care, then it's not even an issue to me.

NatesLady1309 · October 2012

ssimon621:

Personally, I think NIP is overrated and it's poor planning to me. If you are going out and you know your child is hungry try to schedule the outing around that. It definitely makes more sense for me to feed my child in the car before going into the mall than to get in the mall and 15 minutes later having to stop what I'm doing to nurse a baby on a bench. Even if I were bottle feeding I would try my best to do it before going out with the baby or in the car instead of trying to figure out how to mix a formula bottle and maneuver a child that would probably be distracted by all the people walking by.

It's not poor planning for me, it's just plain more convenient. It's not that I can't bring a bottle for her IF I know in advance that we'll be out and about when she needs to eat. But that would mean I have to pump (or use my ~3 bottles worth freezer stash). I don't get even close to enough milk for a feeding for her in one pumping session. That would mean I would have to know at least a day or 2 in advance to be able to pump enough times to get enough milk, plus all the time it takes to pump. Anyone who pumps knows that it sucks (hehe). Then there's the bottle washing, the storage of the milk on the go to keep it cold, the heating it up in a glass of warm water at the restaurant or wherever- all when I could just pop out a boob instead. Yes, please.

I used to do all that so I wouldn't have to NIP at least AS much. Now I'm just over it.

redheadscu · October 2012

sooner1981:
ssimon621:

Would you ask your DH if it were okay to wear a G-String bikini to the beach? Would your DH be okay if you wore a bathing suit to work? I'm sure he wouldn't like those ideas as much. Having your body partially exposed is one thing, but unnecessarily exposing body parts without considering his feelings is different.

I think all of us who mentioned bringing it up to our DH's stated that we would only ask him how he felt if we were NIP without a cover not NIP in general. Why expose yourself more than necessary. I think it would be a different story if your child refused to nurse under a cover and if you just didn't try using a cover at all.

I have definitely seen women sitting on benches in the mall with their full shirt up, no nursing tank and entire bra and half a boob showing in order to nurse their child. Personally, I don't think that is necessary and I know my husband would think I was being ridiculous if I did a thing like that.

I think there is just a divide here between the women who would ask their husbands and the ones who wouldn't. The ones who would ask their husbands appear to view nursing in public as an act on par with wearing a G-string to the beach or flashing skin at the office. The ones who wouldn't ask their husbands view nursing in public as a way to ensure their babies don't go hungry while they are out and about living their lives.

Just to clarify--nursing in public shouldn't be "sexy" if you are doing it right. If you can nurse with a cover effectively and your baby is happy with that, as many of the "husband askers" seem to be able to do, then why would you even think of going to a sit in and expose your boobs unecessarily? It seems like unecessarily revealing your boobs when you don't actually need to in order to feed your child would be the equivalent of wearing a bikini to the office--completely unecessary and bizarre--and counterproductive to the whole "normalizing breasfeeding" movement. The women who nurse in public without covers are usually the ones whose babies freak out when covered. I have only nursed without a cover a couple months ago for a period of a couple weeks. It started when my baby started biting me hard whenever I put a blanket over her head. So, I stopped using the blanket and started doing the tank top under the shirt, and it was fine. Once she stopped biting me, I went back to the blanket cover.

I just can't imagine asking my husband whether it would be okay to feed our baby while I am out and about. But, I guess I also can't' imagine agreeing with NateLady's view that women who aren't stay at home moms damage their relationships with their kiddos, so I guess I have to be okay with not understanding all points of view in this world

Just a side note--I literally live in the reddest, most conservative state in the country. All 77 counties in my state voted for McCain in the last election. I have nursed in public, mostly with a blanket over C, except for the couple weeks I described above, for the last 7.5 months. I have never, ever received so much as a side eye from a stranger. In fact, the only thing I have ever noticed is the "knowing" smiles of fellow mothers who give me some silent encouragement as they walk by. But then again, when I am nursing in public, I don't constantly think that I am doing the equivalent of wearing a g-string to the beach, so maybe I just look more nonchalanent and less open to critisicm than someone who may view nursing in public as a risque, potentially sexy act?

Finaly note-- I don't agree with the prior poster who said that nursing in public is the result of poor planning. I BF, but I can't imagine living my life to make sure I was back home every 2 hours, so that my LO could eat. My husband and I have found that we are getting to do almost all the things we used to do on the weekend and on holidays thanks to me being so fortunate as being able to continue breastfeeding. Yesterday, we went on a 6.5 mile hike to a moutain waterfall in the Rockies, and I was wearing C in a carrier. She was mainly on my back, but a couple times during the 4.5 hour hike, I was able to turn her around to my front and nurse her while continuing to hike up the trail. It was so convenient!

Ah! So if someone asks their husband about their feelings on the possible exposure of the breast (which, I believe was actually the issue here -- not NIP, but doing it without a cover or in such a manner more likely to expose the breast), then obviously that means she cares more about submitting to her husband than about feeding her baby. (insert sarcarsm here). Got it!

Also, way to change the argument by throwing in the part about a different week's controversy. Sneaky sneaky!

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