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April 2012 Moms
Flame Free, can I start it?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Flame Free, can I start it?
Do it!
My confession: sometimes in the evenings I feel like I don't know WHAT to do with my little one. It must be a back to work thing because when I spent all my time with her I don't remember feeling like this.
I get home at 545pm and she usually goes to bed between 8 and 9. I try to spend all that time with her as hubby has had her all day and needs a break, and I miss her. But after a while, I've boobed her, snuggled her, played with her on the floor, watched her bounce a while in her bouncer etc. And then I'm thinking ... what now? There is a period of time between the first rush of snuggles when I get home and when bathtime/bed happens and I feel like I'm scratching my head to come up with stuff to do.. Its silly but I feel like I'm not making the MOST of my time with her by doing enough "stuff". But what else is there?!!
this is one thing about working mom-dom that I don't like. Feeling sometimes like I am impersonating a mother or something, and I lost my script.
Join us more often (said in an evil old lady witch voice). We are fun!
I don't think is a working mom thing. I am currently SAH, and I sometimes am like "um, what now?"
I think it's because our babies are still so little. They can't enjoy the park or going out to lunch or board games or anything. There is only so much jumparoo and o-ball rattle time one can have before it's time to move on! I think it gets easier as they get older.
I'm looking to start filling our time with more activities like music classes and gymboree. Until then, I really do often feel the same way as you many days.
What does it mean?
Normally I don't get too butt hurt about things. I really could careless what people thought, pre-baby. But for some reason I always feel like every decision I make as a mom is under a microscope with other people. I am constantly questioned by people and it's annoying. I know everyone has a right to their opinion, blah blah, but really already my child is being thrown into the spoiled, selfish category by other parents. Kind of makes you feel a little bad, at least me. Just fartin'.
ETA2 - my eta wasn't needed haha
But she also said that she understands if due to medical reasons she understands. Isn't that part of why you are only having one? I feel people here like to only read and react to bits and pieces of a post
Ha ha! I know!
Wow, We should rename FFFC TFCOBWWTNTSSFIORAF...Friday
Totally Flameable Confession/Opinion But We Will Try Not To Sound Super Flame-y In Our Responses And Fail ...Friday
My hubby and I are choosing to have one and done. It is not because of medical reasons. Does that make it unacceptable? Just wondering.
I think that making a generalization one way or another is going to make people upset. Saying ALL only children are going to be spoiled/brats/whatever isn't true. There are plenty of kids with siblings that suck out loud. And plenty of singletons that are amazing, well adjusted, nice kids. Saying ALL single kids will suck later in life is kinda rude and doesn't really make sense. Personally, yes I know single kids that are very spoiled and obnoxious. I also know kids that have 4-5 siblings that are obnoxious brats. So... is there a clear link there? Don't think so.
Congrats on the boob-sunage. Between my ginger husband and my ginger baby I don't think a beach trip with them would be fun. Maybe I'll go by myself to the beach and sun up!
I also think having too many kids is flame worthy.
Here is my sibling FFFC.
I don't understand the big deal of having a bunch of siblings. My step mom cames from a big family and there is alway drama. Someone is always fighting with someone else. My mom's family is the same. Someone is always mad at someone else. My grandma is always comparing all of her girls to one another and it adds fuel to the fire. My step daughters are them most selfish kids I have ever met. They won't just share with each other, they have to make deals. It is always tit for tat. Even with a glass of water.
At least my husband's family is the opposite, but that is not what I grew up with.
My mom is incredibly selfish and a narcissist. The only reason I turned out reasonably ok was that she did spoil me with love. I was her pride. She took me everywhere.
Yes, I am AMA and it took a while to get PG, but that is not the only reason. I had posted earlier that because L had colic that really sealed the deal in me to not want another one and I feel bad about that. But that is my mental health so yea... I feel strongly about what I said for grouping only children into a category regardless to the reason why they are an only...And plus parents of L's future friends aren't going to always know the reason why she is an only.
I like hearing the opinions on the boards, they help me a lot. I feel they prepare me for a lot of things I may not be aware about.
My BFF is an only child and is not selfish or lonely or sad about being an only child. Her mother just died and she is doing fine without a sibling (as good as you can when your mother dies), our daughter is her "adopted niece" and when my BFF has kids of her own they will be like family. She also married an only child, so obviously didn't care that much about her kids having blood cousins.
Only children not getting married is their own decision, so blaim them for being alone, not their parents.
Agreed...
Also, just ignore me peeping in the trees..hehehe
No, it doesn't to me. If I had L earlier in life and she had colic I would be saying the exact same thing. That is a huge reason for me. And if she didn't, I may be one and done anyways. I like the life we can lead with only one child.
I'm still kinda sad I didn't marry an Asian. Asian babies are cuter than all other babies. There's an over generalization for ya!
I totally agree with you. And for some, that could be 3 kids: My sister has three kids, and her son (middle child) is a special needs kid. He had a heart transplant at 5 months, and just recently got cochlear implants because he lost his hearing as a side effect of the transplant medications. He is at least 1 year developmentally delayed, is overly attached to my sister, and they refuse to teach him even basic sign language, so he cannot communicate (he also has no voice). They have hit their lifetime health insurance limit.
While most of this will change, it won't change for another few years. They are strapped for cash all the time, she won't get a job, they live in a two bedroom condo, they can't afford for their oldest child to go to pre-k five days a week, and they just had a third child in May.
I think they have too many kids.
mm 2/17/11 * dd born 4/20/12 * bo 1/3/14 * edd 1/21/ 1/15
That is selfish. My "uncle" is a gay man in his 50s. He can't marry his partner and would have a lot of trouble adopting. He is an only child and his parents are dead.
Another guy i know is an only child and his parents are dead. He is basically the 40 yo virgin. He is super sweet but just can't find the right person. He is getting older too so it only makes things harder
So, it'll be on me still if Zoe's alone when I'm dead? Will my child never be held accountable for her own happiness?
Love this answer!
All of this.
Infertility sucks....just ask me. 3 1/2 years to get my son.
We were one and done because I WAS NOT GOING THROUGH TREATMENTS AGAIN. Obviously we were blessed with DD but she was a forgot my bc kind of thing.
My weeds are taller than I am. I don't give a rat's a$$ about it. If you don't like it come mow my yard. DH is gone for 14-16 hours five days a week. I work full time. We have two kids. We see each other 14 hours a week. We don't have time for the yard. Yes, he has two days off...during the week. The kids are not in daycare those days. We have no family around, should we just allow the children to be alone inside while we do yard work...yeah, I didn't think so. My house is very clean, when the 2 year old isn't destroying it.
RE Family... I am the youngest of 5, last time I saw a sibling was 2 years ago. I have two that live 1400 miles away and the other two I just don't have anything in common with. My oldest brother is 16 years older than I. I talk to the one that is 6 years older than I and that's it, he's in FL and has 4 kids of his own. We are just busy.
DH is the youngest of 3. Last time he saw his brothers was Feb. 2011. According to MIL, it is because DH doesn't travel or call them....DH does call them, they never call him. His oldest brother lives 10 min from ILs and can't be bothered to go over there because "it is too hard with a 6.5 year old". The other one lives in MA. We are have the youngest kids and have more than one, we don't travel that far.
I'm sure I can add to this but let me say that the one that wished infertility on her sibling I'm sure is the one that posted that Paul Ryan was hot. There's your answer people. Enough said.
I once had a picture until the trolls showed up.
TTC #1 7/08 PCOS dx 8/28/04 Met 1000 mg and Clomid cycles 1-4 1/6/09-5/2/09 BFN
Clomid 100mg 6/4/09=O'd=BFP on 6/29/09! Beta@14DPO 70.8 Beta@16DPO 152. EDD 3/7/10.
First u/s on 7/13/09 @6w0d heard and saw heartbeat 102 bpm.
K M #1 arrived via c/s 3/1/10 10 lbs, 22 inches long at 39 weeks.
Surprise expecting #2. Med-free BFP on 8/1/11! Beta@15DPO 58.2 Beta@17DPO 198.3 Beta@23DPO 2338. EDD 4/9/12
K M #2 arrived via c/s 3/19/12 9 lbs 2 oz, 21 inches long at 37 weeks.
"If we weren't all crazy we would go insane."
If a person is the only child and unhappy, it is the parent's fault. That is common sense. DUH!! ( I am being sarcastic.)
Woah! I think Paul Ryan is hot too. All I do is tell small children Santa isn't real.
I care 1000 times more about social issues than the economy. I think money can always be made and lost at any time but being able to marry who you love or get an abortion if you need one is something that is more permanent and more important.
I am thinking about buying a ticket to Texas to spy on a certain topless sun bather.
Eta: didn't finish my thought.
I am not taking sides here nor defending her feelings on the issue but she did NOT wish infertility on her brother. She stated that she was glad that, for now, her LO was the only grandchild. Yes it is supremely selfish to think that way but we have all been guilty of selfish feelings at some point in our lives. She did not once say that she didn't want her brother to have children.
I think people are really twisting what she wrote and taking far too personally.
I just disagree with you. There is nothing sad sbout being an only child. As I truely identify as an only child, but am not, I think there are advantages to both. Read my other posts. And, yes I'm a little butthurt.
Agreed!
I want to come to Texas too!!!
I like you a little more everyday!
I agree about social issues. I think they don't belong in politics to begin with, but I would rather have equality and women allowed to do what they want with their body than vote on the economy.
I will put on a good show for you and tianna!
Thanks. My siblings and I had great times as kids too. I just do not understand the mentality that if you have one child that he/she will be spoiled and lonely. It is my responsibility as a parent to make sure he grows up not spoiled and not lonely. He will be around people that love him. He will have chances to make lots of friends when he gets older. My hubby and I are not selfish for only having one child. You could look at it the other way....We are making sure we have the means possible to have a good life. Not a life of "just getting by."
People are always going to have a different opinion based on the experiences they have had. Don't get butthurt over it. I love my siblings and so DH loves his - we couldn't imagine a life without them. A big reason we chose to have another child is because we did not want DS to be alone - otherwise we were one and done (even though I secretly want another now!)
On the other hand, my mom has numerous siblings - she doesn't even know how many anymore - and she talks to ONE. The rest of them are constantly hating each other, loving each other, hating each other.
Different people, different experiences, different opinions.
I have one that I'm afraid to post.... forgive me, dear friends!
I get annoyed by teachers who complain that that they're going back to work and that the summer was too short. I get it, time off goes too quickly, we've all been there and know the feeling. But despite how challenging being a teacher is it is freaking awesome how much vacation they get. Many people get 2 weeks a year and that's all. So I think teachers should be more grateful of the extensive time off they get.
That being said my mother, grandmother, grandfather and SIL are all teachers and I have so much respect for teachers. I could NEVER be a teacher and really think it's one of the more difficult careers. I don't think teachers don't deserve the vacation, I just don't think they should complain that it was too short.
That is why I'm butthurt. I'm not making blanket negative statements that people with siblings are....
It really gets men to be called spoiled because I was an only child.
I was just going to say we aren't very good at the "Flame Free" part of FFFC!
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Flame free is for weenies!
One of my biggest fears is that we will have a life of just getting by, but that would happen with one or two kids. I know that my husband going to school will give us a much better life and that I will help that once I finish school and work when the kids start school.
I kind of agree with this. I have a ton of FB teacher friends, and they are all moaning about the summer being over. Now, I would say, you should totally *** and moan about your pay, the long hours, the extra work without pay, and the emotional challenges that come with teaching. However, I would love a summer off. Then again, I think, well, maybe they feel their summer off isn't enough considering how little they get paid? I just try and see the other side of things, but you get summer, a holiday break, a spring break, and most holidays off. It's a tradeoff to me.
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