Flame Free, can I start it?

dragonmommy422

Mamasaurus:

geekychic:

dragonmommy422:

AmyJoy728:

This may be a UO, but I think katesy's movie baby picture and caption were too suggestive, and I was really surprised how many voted for it.

Let me preface by saying, Katesy, your baby is beautiful. However, I kind of thought the same thing. When Ateal posted that someone made that comment about Eden on her facebook, we all jumped to her defense and agreed that it was inappropriate. However, Katesy got a lot of votes for exactly the same thing. I guess I just didn't understand where the difference was.

 

I think the difference that Katesy intended it and made the comment herself. 

Ateal's situation was a creepy comment made about a cute baby picture.

This hits the nail right on the head. 

I guess that makes sense.

adrianacastro08

I'll answer this from my stand point.nbsp; If you get the flu vaccine you can still get the flu.nbsp; Often you are sick and spread the virus before you feel bad enough to stay home.nbsp; Just this has an economic impact on people because the flu can last for many days.nbsp; The more people that get the vaccine the less chance there is of spreading it.nbsp;
If I catch the flu I can die.nbsp; I have asthma and the flu can easily turn into something worse.nbsp; I too have never gotten the flu, but I get the flu shot every year.nbsp; If you choose not to get the shot you put others at a greater risk.nbsp; Not just children and old people.nbsp;
https://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/qa/disease.htm

Ahh, duh. That makes sense and it suddenly clicks. So the importance of getting the flu shot isn't so much for me, but the vulnerable people I might infect before I even have symptoms. Never thought about it like that for some reason. Maybe if nurses explained it like that, I would have gotten it. It was always presented like, get the flu shot so you don't get the flu. And since getting the flu doesn't seem like a big deal for me, I figured I'd risk it.

Ximena M

huahualove:

I haven't read any of this yet, but I wanted to share my FFFC. I think I want to go back to work. I'm tired of being expected to do everything and if I went to work I think that it would be better. I miss interacting with adults, the only adult interaction I get is on here. I don't want to go back to my old job, I figure it is a way for me to start fresh and find somewhere to work close to my house. I need to find daycare that I can trust though and I'm not very trusting. I don't think dh will be happy if I tell him this but I feel like I'm slipping into the role as his mother where she does so much and his dad does nothing and I don't want to be like that. I like earning my own money and working hard at something and doing a good job.

I get this.  I feel like I'm so closed off and that I don't have anything interesting to say to DH. I talk to him about the drama that goes on on the bump.  I'm such a sad person.  I also don't want to go back to my old job.  My hope is that Pilar will get easier to take care of because right now I can't work on my art.  Her being a little difficult is one of the reasons I don't want to put her in DC.  I just can't stand the idea of someone not picking her up when she needs comforting. I'm making myself sad thinking about this.  I just feel like I have nothing to offer right now.

peanuthe

puppylove64:

gisa886:

Peanuthe the mobile version ate my answer. I personally don't care how many children someone has as long as they are loved and cared for, but I still feel sad that those kids don't get the sibling experience. My sibs and I still squabble, but we have one another's back 100! We did some hilarious stuff when we were younger and cousins and friends aren't the same. I do agree with Mike that saying all will be spoiled is wrong.

Thank you gisa for saying it so nicely. And I don't think I ever said all only children are spoiled and if I did I'm sorry. It is a generalization that I made and of course there are exceptions. But I do feel sorry for only children

 

Puppylove64- Do NOT feel sorry for my child!!! 

huahualove

Ximena M:

huahualove:

I haven't read any of this yet, but I wanted to share my FFFC. I think I want to go back to work. I'm tired of being expected to do everything and if I went to work I think that it would be better. I miss interacting with adults, the only adult interaction I get is on here. I don't want to go back to my old job, I figure it is a way for me to start fresh and find somewhere to work close to my house. I need to find daycare that I can trust though and I'm not very trusting. I don't think dh will be happy if I tell him this but I feel like I'm slipping into the role as his mother where she does so much and his dad does nothing and I don't want to be like that. I like earning my own money and working hard at something and doing a good job.

I get this.  I feel like I'm so closed off and that I don't have anything interesting to say to DH. I talk to him about the drama that goes on on the bump.  I'm such a sad person.  I also don't want to go back to my old job.  My hope is that Pilar will get easier to take care of because right now I can't work on my art.  Her being a little difficult is one of the reasons I don't want to put her in DC.  I just can't stand the idea of someone not picking her up when she needs comforting. I'm making myself sad thinking about this.  I just feel like I have nothing to offer right now.

That is what I'm afraid will happen in daycare too with ds. I just feel stuck I guess.

funkymonkeyohyeahhh

huahualove:

I haven't read any of this yet, but I wanted to share my FFFC. I think I want to go back to work. I'm tired of being expected to do everything and if I went to work I think that it would be better. I miss interacting with adults, the only adult interaction I get is on here. I don't want to go back to my old job, I figure it is a way for me to start fresh and find somewhere to work close to my house. I need to find daycare that I can trust though and I'm not very trusting. I don't think dh will be happy if I tell him this but I feel like I'm slipping into the role as his mother where she does so much and his dad does nothing and I don't want to be like that. I like earning my own money and working hard at something and doing a good job.

I can relate to this. I LOVE being a mom and even being a SAHM most days, but I miss having a role outside the home and am starting to be bitter about the fact that I do every thing around the house (except mow the lawn) and for N. DH works very long hours so really isn't around to do much, but he also sort of expects that everything will be done so he is grumpy when dinner isn't cooked or his work shirts aren't back in the closet ready to wear. I want some sort of part time job where I can bring LO. In an ideal world, I'd work at a birth center or "natural" store and teach CD classes or something. I dream.

All of that said, I feel like I have it pretty good that I get to be here for N all the time and I know my husband really wishes he could.

Christina_Diane

gisa886:

Christina_Diane:

As a teacher, I believe I am paid fairly. My pay is for 176 contract days, not for an entire year.  In fact, I make more now than I did in a private sector job where I was on salary and had only 2 weeks of vacay. I am very grateful for my hours, vacations, and pay.

My FFFC is that I am pretty disappointed in some posters for their views in this thread.

 

Names?

Not you. ?? 

huahualove

funkymonkeyohyeahhh:

huahualove:

I haven't read any of this yet, but I wanted to share my FFFC. I think I want to go back to work. I'm tired of being expected to do everything and if I went to work I think that it would be better. I miss interacting with adults, the only adult interaction I get is on here. I don't want to go back to my old job, I figure it is a way for me to start fresh and find somewhere to work close to my house. I need to find daycare that I can trust though and I'm not very trusting. I don't think dh will be happy if I tell him this but I feel like I'm slipping into the role as his mother where she does so much and his dad does nothing and I don't want to be like that. I like earning my own money and working hard at something and doing a good job.

I can relate to this. I LOVE being a mom and even being a SAHM most days, but I miss having a role outside the home and am starting to be bitter about the fact that I do every thing around the house (except mow the lawn) and for N. DH works very long hours so really isn't around to do much, but he also sort of expects that everything will be done so he is grumpy when dinner isn't cooked or his work shirts aren't back in the closet ready to wear. I want some sort of part time job where I can bring LO. In an ideal world, I'd work at a birth center or "natural" store and teach CD classes or something. I dream.

All of that said, I feel like I have it pretty good that I get to be here for N all the time and I know my husband really wishes he could.

My DH works a lot too, and he just mows the yard, yet he doens't do it often enough at all. This morning he got mad because he didn't have a clean work shirt. He ordered these new shirts, only has 2, one white and one black so I can't even wash them together and he wants one clean for him for work everyday. Well yesterday I forgot to wash them and then he got mad because I "didn't do laundry for a week." and now he will look bad because he makes his employee wear the shirts. I try to explain my side to him some but he is just so dense and I get nowhere. Sorry, today is just a bad day so I'm ranting a lot and feeling really bitter.

gisa886

Christina_Diane:

gisa886:

Christina_Diane:

As a teacher, I believe I am paid fairly. My pay is for 176 contract days, not for an entire year.  In fact, I make more now than I did in a private sector job where I was on salary and had only 2 weeks of vacay. I am very grateful for my hours, vacations, and pay.

My FFFC is that I am pretty disappointed in some posters for their views in this thread.

 

Names?

Not you. ?? 

Whew ::wipes sweat from brow::

Harper'smom

Mamasaurus:

MarxieVonTrapp:

Here's mine: I hate it when women refer to themselves as 'mommies" or "mamas."  Who talks like that?  Just refer to yourself as  "moms" or "mothers."  Examples are often found on FB: "Any other mommies out there have a recommendation for X?"  

I am having Babysaurus call me Mama, so I refer to myself as her mama. H is Papa. So maybe my flameful is that we're bucking cultural norms and annoying other parents. 

Jumping on this one..we are also mama and papa but thanks to being socialized at school the big one has started saying "Mom, Dad, and even da-da". I CRINGE when she says da-da...and even once suggested that DH not respond to her for which he flamed me. She also says mama when she is being nice or wants something and Mom when she has an attitude.

Tambcat

We are Mama or Mommy and Daddy. But I don't post facebook questions or shout-outs addressed to all the "mommies" in da house.

funkymonkeyohyeahhh

huahualove:

funkymonkeyohyeahhh:

huahualove:

I haven't read any of this yet, but I wanted to share my FFFC. I think I want to go back to work. I'm tired of being expected to do everything and if I went to work I think that it would be better. I miss interacting with adults, the only adult interaction I get is on here. I don't want to go back to my old job, I figure it is a way for me to start fresh and find somewhere to work close to my house. I need to find daycare that I can trust though and I'm not very trusting. I don't think dh will be happy if I tell him this but I feel like I'm slipping into the role as his mother where she does so much and his dad does nothing and I don't want to be like that. I like earning my own money and working hard at something and doing a good job.

I can relate to this. I LOVE being a mom and even being a SAHM most days, but I miss having a role outside the home and am starting to be bitter about the fact that I do every thing around the house (except mow the lawn) and for N. DH works very long hours so really isn't around to do much, but he also sort of expects that everything will be done so he is grumpy when dinner isn't cooked or his work shirts aren't back in the closet ready to wear. I want some sort of part time job where I can bring LO. In an ideal world, I'd work at a birth center or "natural" store and teach CD classes or something. I dream.

All of that said, I feel like I have it pretty good that I get to be here for N all the time and I know my husband really wishes he could.

My DH works a lot too, and he just mows the yard, yet he doens't do it often enough at all. This morning he got mad because he didn't have a clean work shirt. He ordered these new shirts, only has 2, one white and one black so I can't even wash them together and he wants one clean for him for work everyday. Well yesterday I forgot to wash them and then he got mad because I "didn't do laundry for a week." and now he will look bad because he makes his employee wear the shirts. I try to explain my side to him some but he is just so dense and I get nowhere. Sorry, today is just a bad day so I'm ranting a lot and feeling really bitter.

Preach it sista. I feel ya. I'm sorry you're having a bad day!

I have to remind myself that DH working out of the home and working such long hours etc has its own set of disadvantages too. He misses out on a lot with N and really only sees him on the weekends. I think a lot of the time his "grumpiness" about me not getting something done, for example, is just misplaced anger about him wishing he were home and he thinks I didn't get it done because I was just having so much fun with N. 

Ximena M

I don't understand we people are bugged with being called mommy, but I admit there are words that bug me.  Like why can't grown men and women say penis.  It is no big deal. 

As far as the momma, da-da etc thing there maybe some developmental stuff going on there.  It has been a really long time since I studied it, but certain phonetic sounds come before others.  I can't remember which and I don't feel like getting out my books.

funkymonkeyohyeahhh

We spend a lot of time "narrating" what N is thinking (or what we imagine he's thinking, obviously) and always refer to ourselves as "mama" and "papa". I don't have anything against "mom" or "dad" but I think the former is cuter

MarxieVonTrapp

All you teachers out there should come and work at my school.  Full disclaimer--it is private.

The median teacher salary (including first year teachers all the way through the woman who has taught here since the 1960s) is $75K.  They get a 5% increase, on average, each year (compared to staff, who get up to a 3% raise).  Not only do they get their summers off--where many of them work other jobs--but they also tutor.  How much do they charge?  When Teacher A asked Teacher B if he would tutor her son, Teacher B told Teacher A she probably wouldn't want to pay his $160/hour fee.

huahualove

funkymonkeyohyeahhh:

Preach it sista. I feel ya. I'm sorry you're having a bad day!

I have to remind myself that DH working out of the home and working such long hours etc has its own set of disadvantages too. He misses out on a lot with N and really only sees him on the weekends. I think a lot of the time his "grumpiness" about me not getting something done, for example, is just misplaced anger about him wishing he were home and he thinks I didn't get it done because I was just having so much fun with N. 

I just talked to Dh about it and I feel better. I know he works 6 days a week and is tired, but I'm tired too. I think it sees where I'm coming from better. Sometimes we just have to remind each other of what the other one is going through.

Ximena M

That is amazing!

The teacher pay.

metucker

Ugh, where to start. 

I think it is messed up to say you feel sorry for a kid who is loved, cared for and wanted just because they are an only child.

I don't understand not voting or not knowing about the current political climate, especially in this election. But I guess my confession is that I have a very hard time seeing things from the other side. 

 And I am a teacher and I hate when teachers complain about summer being over. 

erniebufflo

peanuthe:

puppylove64:

I feel like the parents of an only child are not thinking of the child's well being and do the child a disservice by only having one (unless there are medical issues). Only children seem lonely and are either spoiled or don't act their age because they hang out with grown ups. They are also left completely alone when their parents die. Their children also suffer by not having any aunts, uncles or cousins, at least on one side.

 

Wow! Aren't you a real peach?! I have observed children with siblings being selfish and bratty too. We are one and done. We want to be sure that we give our LO the life he deserves. He has family and lots of people that love him. I think you are a twatwaffle for saying what you did. My hubby and I are not selfish for making this decision. 

FWIW, most of what we say about only children is the result of one very flawed, very old study. There is no evidence, despite what folks say about that awful spoiled lonely only child they know, that only children are less social, less well-adjusted, lonely, etc. one of the big magazines like Time or Newsweek did a big story on it a while back. 

snoangel79

erniebufflo:

peanuthe:

puppylove64:

I feel like the parents of an only child are not thinking of the child's well being and do the child a disservice by only having one (unless there are medical issues). Only children seem lonely and are either spoiled or don't act their age because they hang out with grown ups. They are also left completely alone when their parents die. Their children also suffer by not having any aunts, uncles or cousins, at least on one side.

 

Wow! Aren't you a real peach?! I have observed children with siblings being selfish and bratty too. We are one and done. We want to be sure that we give our LO the life he deserves. He has family and lots of people that love him. I think you are a twatwaffle for saying what you did. My hubby and I are not selfish for making this decision. 

FWIW, most of what we say about only children is the result of one very flawed, very old study. There is no evidence, despite what folks say about that awful spoiled lonely only child they know, that only children are less social, less well-adjusted, lonely, etc. one of the big magazines like Time or Newsweek did a big story on it a while back. 

I was an only child for 11 years and I was lonely. I had a lot of friends though and wasn't socially awkward ever. I was spoiled yes and was a sh*t as a kid but as an adult absolutely not at all. My husband was a complete only and what I can see is that we are both stubborn and we both think we are right about things a lot. I feel life experiences mold a person though and when I went through my cancer stuff it really changed me into a super compassionate, loving person (I would give anyone the shirt off my back. Even before cancer I was always one to stand up for my friends and be their for them). So I guess a lot of it is not true. So not all "onlys" are bratty sh*ts into adulthood.

ChelseyB5186

My FFFC is that I miss bumping, and you ladies, waaay too much  I'm supposed to be on vacation, y'all!  All I can think about is coming back home and getting back into the groove of daily bumping.

:vacation humps: 

kkfeb04

My FFFC: I bought DS an Elmo harness last Friday on Zulily. I was incredibly excited when I saw a package on my porch because I thought it was the harness. It sadly was an outfit for DD. The flameful part is I stated I would never buy one. I am a proud mother to a 2.5 year old who doesn't get the fact he shouldn't run off. I ran off from my mom a lot. I bought him a leash, I'm a hypocrite but I will love it!

Flame if you like, I can handle it. I got crap from DH and I just told him don't use it. I will also tell you, just you wait...

 

maccalovah

metucker:

I think it is messed up to say you feel sorry for a kid who is loved, cared for and wanted just because they are an only child.

This!

Sorry, but that original post about feeling sorry for only children was one of the stupidest things I've seen here in recent memory.

FWIW, I have a sister, and *gasp*, we are not close and see each other only once a year, at Christmas. So much for that stereotype.... 

AmyJoy728

kkfeb04:

My FFFC: I bought DS an Elmo harness last Friday on Zulily. I was incredibly excited when I saw a package on my porch because I thought it was the harness. It sadly was an outfit for DD. The flameful part is I stated I would never buy one. I am a proud mother to a 2.5 year old who doesn't get the fact he shouldn't run off. I ran off from my mom a lot. I bought him a leash, I'm a hypocrite but I will love it!

Flame if you like, I can handle it. I got crap from DH and I just told him don't use it. I will also tell you, just you wait...

 

I am not opposed to harnesses for toddlers.

tiannalee

kkfeb04:

My FFFC: I bought DS an Elmo harness last Friday on Zulily. I was incredibly excited when I saw a package on my porch because I thought it was the harness. It sadly was an outfit for DD. The flameful part is I stated I would never buy one. I am a proud mother to a 2.5 year old who doesn't get the fact he shouldn't run off. I ran off from my mom a lot. I bought him a leash, I'm a hypocrite but I will love it!

Flame if you like, I can handle it. I got crap from DH and I just told him don't use it. I will also tell you, just you wait...

 

The only person's opinion who I would even entertain in this situation is someone who has had to deal with a high energy toddler in a crowded place while watching other children.  Anyone else can suck it! 

gisa886

kkfeb04:

My FFFC: I bought DS an Elmo harness last Friday on Zulily. I was incredibly excited when I saw a package on my porch because I thought it was the harness. It sadly was an outfit for DD. The flameful part is I stated I would never buy one. I am a proud mother to a 2.5 year old who doesn't get the fact he shouldn't run off. I ran off from my mom a lot. I bought him a leash, I'm a hypocrite but I will love it!

Flame if you like, I can handle it. I got crap from DH and I just told him don't use it. I will also tell you, just you wait...

 

Hazel has a lion "backpack" that she loves. Anyone who judges that can go suck a peen!

KatFCo

kkfeb04:

My FFFC: I bought DS an Elmo harness last Friday on Zulily. I was incredibly excited when I saw a package on my porch because I thought it was the harness. It sadly was an outfit for DD. The flameful part is I stated I would never buy one. I am a proud mother to a 2.5 year old who doesn't get the fact he shouldn't run off. I ran off from my mom a lot. I bought him a leash, I'm a hypocrite but I will love it!

Flame if you like, I can handle it. I got crap from DH and I just told him don't use it. I will also tell you, just you wait...

 

We used a harness for DD and loved it. It gave her controlled freedom. She was able to move around but within our limits.

lynzee21

laurack:

My confession: sometimes in the evenings I feel like I don't know WHAT to do with my little one. It must be a back to work thing because when I spent all my time with her I don't remember feeling like this.
I get home at 545pm and she usually goes to bed between 8 and 9. I try to spend all that time with her as hubby has had her all day and needs a break, and I miss her. But after a while, I've boobed her, snuggled her, played with her on the floor, watched her bounce a while in her bouncer etc. And then I'm thinking ... what now? There is a period of timenbsp;between the first rush of snuggles when I get home and when bathtime/bed happens and I feel like I'm scratching my head to come up with stuff to do.. nbsp;Its silly but I feel like I'm not making the MOST of my time with her by doing enough "stuff". But what else is there?!!
this is one thing about working momdom that I don't like. Feeling sometimes like I am impersonating a mother or something, and I lost my script.
[:]

I could have written this word for word

geekychic

lynzee21:

laurack:

My confession: sometimes in the evenings I feel like I don't know WHAT to do with my little one. It must be a back to work thing because when I spent all my time with her I don't remember feeling like this. I get home at 545pm and she usually goes to bed between 8 and 9. I try to spend all that time with her as hubby has had her all day and needs a break, and I miss her. But after a while, I've boobed her, snuggled her, played with her on the floor, watched her bounce a while in her bouncer etc. And then I'm thinking ... what now? There is a period of timenbsp;between the first rush of snuggles when I get home and when bathtime/bed happens and I feel like I'm scratching my head to come up with stuff to do.. nbsp;Its silly but I feel like I'm not making the MOST of my time with her by doing enough "stuff". But what else is there?!! this is one thing about working momdom that I don't like. Feeling sometimes like I am impersonating a mother or something, and I lost my script. [:]

I could have written this word for word

I have been feeling this way lately, too.  I am excited for the weekend.  We are going to have some serious girl time.

dojo1

kkfeb04:

My FFFC: I bought DS an Elmo harness last Friday on Zulily. I was incredibly excited when I saw a package on my porch because I thought it was the harness. It sadly was an outfit for DD. The flameful part is I stated I would never buy one. I am a proud mother to a 2.5 year old who doesn't get the fact he shouldn't run off. I ran off from my mom a lot. I bought him a leash, I'm a hypocrite but I will love it!

Flame if you like, I can handle it. I got crap from DH and I just told him don't use it. I will also tell you, just you wait...

 

Not even remotely flameful in my book.  Toddlers have energy legs and are faster than Olympians.  It's tough enough to keep them on the straight and narrow when they have your full attention, but add an infant to that mix and you have a recipe for disaster!  Is a tether really any worse than putting an iron grip on a child's wrist? 

ateal2490

puppylove64:

I feel like the parents of an only child are not thinking of the child's well being and do the child a disservice by only having one (unless there are medical issues). Only children seem lonely and are either spoiled or don't act their age because they hang out with grown ups. They are also left completely alone when their parents die. Their children also suffer by not having any aunts, uncles or cousins, at least on one side.

 

 

 

Yeah, you have an unrealistic view of both the world and the concept of a family dynamic.

 

1. If you think that the only "acceptable" reason for only having one child revolves around the presence of a debilitating medical status, you better break out your checkbook lady, because once everyone realizes how selfish they are for allowing their potential financial instability to trample on the hopes and dreams of their first born child, babies are going to start flying out in the dozens.

 

2. What proof do you have that substantiates your claim that only children tend to be selfish, bratty, neglected, and are somehow suffering because of their lack of 2nd cousins, twice removed? Oh, none? 

 3. So....because I have no siblings, I am going to be left alone, helpless, and stranded when my parents die? Too bad I am capable of maintaining relationships with the other members of my family. Because. You know. They still exist, even if you are an only child.