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February 2013 Moms
draeray
member
I don't think I have ever been so offended
draeray
member
I posted our three choices of baby boy names that my husband and I are thinking about on the Baby Name Board about two hours ago. For the inquiring minds that want to know, they are: Gage, Jayce (kind of like Jason, some people spell it Jace or Jase) and Ryker. I got everything from don't name your son after a gun part or a prison, to why would you name your son any of those names, they are horrible, Jayce sounds like a girl name, and the list really goes on and on.
Every response was incredibly mean, nasty and downright rude. I didn't even get ONE positive response. Even if the names weren't something YOU would pick for your own child, why do people have to be so nasty about their opinions? Do people think I posted them to have them destroyed publicly??
I am now sitting at work in tears because I can't believe the responses I got. I don't ever see anyone on our threads here being rude or nasty to other people.
When other women post about their names, I always state my opinion based off of the best one that they have on the list, period. No extra jabs, comments, or opinions.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I don't think I have ever been so offended
The couple times I've been on that board, I've seen nothing but similar responses.
If you and your husband like the name you choose, that's really all that matters
Don't let a board of internet strangers who enjoy putting others down change your mind.
growing a foosa
Declan 2.21.2013
Baby Boy #2 EDD 6.22.2015
I have read that board a few times and can't believe rude some of the comments are. People should know how hard it is to pick a name and then for someone to rip them apart is not cool!
My vote is for Gage
So I had to go read it and I'm sorry they were so mean. From the posts I have read over there they are always like that. Personally I didn't think about a prison or gun parts at all.
I will say we didn't tell anyone DS's name untill after he was born because I didn't want any snarky/rude comments from anyone especially people I know in real life. Pick a name you and your DH like and done't worry about it.
I'm sorry you got mean responses. I like Jayce best!
We decided not to tell anybody the baby's name before it is born. With my son's name we got some comments that were really hurtful. I do not want that again.
How do people feel about posting for baby name opinions here??? I have been really hesitant to post on the BN Board, but would love to get some input on names from the supportive ladies on this board (because I know none of us are looking for sparkles and rainbows, but *constructive* criticism is nice).
FWIW -
Gage - I really like this, it sounds strong and masculine without being too boring or out there
Jayce - I like this, but would personally be worried that it would sound like a nickname rather than a full name as your son grew into a man
Ryker - NMS, but I know that it is gaining popularity, so I certainly don't think it's too out there
They are NMS, but it's not baby, so my opinion doesn't really matter.
Z's name is Zaiden and it was in an era where everyone was against the "aiden" family. It didn't matter to us.
If you are getting that upset over what internet strangers are saying, a public internet forum may not be the best place for you. It's unfortunate that you didn't get the responses you were looking for, but that's the risk you take when you post on a public forum. You can't expect people to reply a certain way based on what you would do. Everyone has their own opinions
Names are hard- you feel so attached to them, but others don't. If you can't handle negative opinions about your name, I would recommend keeping them to yourself. The baby names board overall (along with many other people not on that board) is very against changing spellings of names and prefers classic names. Lurking on a new board before posting is always a good idea
FTR, I prefer Gage out of your options. Cheer up, they're just random people on the internet that have no impact on your life.
ETA: I just went back and read the thread you posted, and honestly, I don't think they were that mean. They simply stated their opinions and what the names made them think of. People you meet IRL will be making the same connections they did.
Wow! I just went and took a look at it... I cannot believe how HATEFUL they all were!
FYI... I love ALL those names! I am really into uncommen names! Gage is my fav!
*hugs*
Not to play devil's advocate, but had you thought about the fact that Ryker is a pretty (in)famous prison? The good thing about the baby name board is that although they don't sugar coat anything, they may make you realize something about your names that you hadn't thought of before.
I'm doubting you thought of prison when you heard Ryker, but I bet some people will. If you're ok with that, then go ahead. If you hadn't thought of it, then maybe you should bring up that connection with your DH and decide whether it's still an acceptable name for you.
Also, had you thought about the fact that a lot of people might see Jayce as a variation of the girl's name Jaycee and might pronounce it like that? Again, it doesn't mean you shouldn't choose the name, but it is food for thought - do you want to be correcting people on the pronunciation often?
I'm very sorry you were hurt by their opinions, but remember that they are just opinions. Try to take their comments and see them as a poll of anonymous individuals who you don't care about. If you love the name and you don't mind that some people might associate it with a prison or that some people might think it's supposed to be pronounced differently, then go with it! (FWIW, my name is unisex and there are lots of names that are anymore, so that's not a reason not to choose a name, IMO).
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
To answer everyone's question about playing devils advocate: Yes, we know that Ryker will remind people of Riker Island which is a famous prision. Also Ryker was the last name of a character on Star Trek. Neither of those bother my husband and I. There are a lot of names that will remind someone of something else and to us, it wasn't a big deal. We still like the name even with the cons.
We know that Jayce will be mistaken for Jaycee. We aren't set on the spelling yet, but that's the one we like most. We will also know that it might be mistaken as a nic name. It's very similar to Jason....another reason we like it---my brother that passed away--his name was Jason. Still not a big enough reason to throw it out the window.
And Gage-- yes, 12 gauge, 10 gauge shot gun comes to people's mind. We don't care about that either.
We most likely will pick one of the three names even with the cons that might be associated to it.
Overall, my husband asked me to put it up and get peoples opinions that weren't related or friends of ours. I don't think he, or I, ever thought we would get such an awful reaction. Considered it a lesson learned-- we won't be doing that again.
I like Ryker! It doesn't make me think of prison--it makes me think of William Riker from Star Trek: The Next Generation--one of my favorite shows (and he was a real ladies' man...)
I'm sorry people feel this incomprehensible need to tear others down. It stinks. ::Hug::
Like I said, not all of them were awful reactions.
You are right, there were a FEW neutral ones. I apologize.
I'm a weirdo - when I hear "guage", I think of needles. DH used to stretch his lobes, and I'd have to go searching for the right guage plugs for him.
I like Jayce. I'm not completely sold on the spelling, but I have a great friend named Jason, and we always call him "Jase".
Yea, don't ever post a name on the Baby Names board unless you are prepared for brutal honesty. This is why I like the board, and this is why I will NEVER post my final name choice on there.
Sorry you got hurt.
I'll be honest, I don't like any of your choices, but if I had to pick one, I would choose Gage.
Jayce reminds me of Janelle from Teen Mom 2, and even though her little boy is adorable, I wouldn't want to be reminded of Teen Mom every time I said my child's name.
Ryker just isn't my style.
I'm sorry the response you received wasn't positive, but that's how it goes on a public message board, you have to take the good with the bad.
ETA: I went and read your thread and am laughing at the rude poster who is naming her child Honora Waters. I wonder if she asked for baby naming advice???
Mom to 4 wonderful children: T(8), B(6) ,M(3), and A(1)
If it helps, when I hear Gage I think of knitting!
I like yarn: Learner's Per-knit
Preggo blog: There's No D#$% Stork
I am sorry you had a bad experience there. I do think it is important to think of how your child will feel as he grows up about his name. You might not mind the prison association, but would he? I don't know, it's just something to think about.
Also, you could go with Jason and plan to call him Jace. And I would spell it that way just to avoid confusion or him having to correct people forever.
In the end, yes, pick something you both like, but also something that you feel he would like in all stages of life.
Good luck!
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
All of this. except I think all of the names are horrible first names. Maybe okay as middle names.
I didn't see that one, and personally don't think Honora's that bad, but there's a regular on that board who has her LO's name posted in her siggy and every time I read it I think - I will DEFINITELY not be listening to your advice, thank you very much!
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
Selecting a final list of names is a very personal, emotional thing. When you put them out there for others to compliment or critique, especially over the internet, people will tell you their honest opinions. I posted about my final names once and felt like all of the brutal criticisms I received prepared me for any I might get IRL from family, friends, and strangers. It didn't change my mind about my names, but gave me a better idea of what might come up about my future LO's name.
I thought prison when I read Ryker. I don't think it to offend you, but it's the truth. Don't you want to know what people will be thinking when they hear your child's name? Isn't that why you posted on an internet forum?
People are going to be more honest on the internet because it's not face to face. But, let's face it, this is reality. Just because someone doesn't say it to you IRL, doesn't mean they aren't thinking it.
With that said, if it's a vote, I vote for Jace.
Not entirely weird, I think of plugs too, LOL
2012 Reading Challenge
Quite honestly, I really don't think the responses were that bad...they were opinions from a bunch of strangers. And I do agree with one thing they said...the Baby Names board is not a "support board", it is simply a place you can get said opinions on names.
I personally would probably not post there, but I do find it intersting as these "strangers" are probably similar to people your son will have to deal with throughout his life. People will have opinions on his name, so it is nice to look at every point of view, and see how he could be made fun of or viewed in the future. DH and I, for every single name, try to think of what jokes or mean nicknames could go along with it. It is just a fact of life, not everyone is going to be poilte and tell you what you'd like to hear all of the time. Sorry....
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I agree with this. The name board is simply a place for opinions, and other people aren't always going to agree with you. That's just the way it is. Your name choices aren't my style at all, but that's my opinion. You have the option to ignore those opinions and name your child what you like.
Not trying to be snarky, but what was your intention in posting? Did you want people to just tell you what you wanted to hear or be honest?
These boards represent real people out there. So if you choose to name your kids those names, people may be thinking exactly what people posted in the threads. If that bothers you, pick different names. If you don't care what people think about your choices, stick with them.
The names aren't my style at all. Honestly, I don't like any of them. But you know what, not everyone likes my kids' names either. And that's why I don't post my names here to get other people's opinions. I just don't care and am going to name them what I want to name them anyways.
1. I wasn't rude, and in fact, didn't comment on her names at all because it was clear that she was looking for kudos, rather than a critique.
2. I did post my short list a month or so ago. Some liked it, some didn't. I didn't go cry to another board about the meanies on the BNB. You're probably not terribly interested, but the name Honora, though rare, is indeed a legitimate, correctly spelled name that has great meaning and history behind it. It is also a family name for me. Waters is also in honor of a family member. Shrug.
This is exactly why I won't tell my names to anyone! I made the mistake of telling my best friend and told her the one we are going to use first for each boy and girl and she proceded to say that if she could vote she would pick the other one... Everyone has an opinion or knows somebody that has that name that they dislike so they will hear the baby names once they are finalized maybe not till when the baby is born! lol
I really like Gage and Jayce. I call my brother who's name is Jason and I call him Jase all the time!
The one thing I would stress out to every mom though is normal spelling! My name is spelled so weird and it is so miserable to explain it every single time someone ask!
This.
I didn't think their responses were that bad. I posted some of my early ideas over there and I thought that the feedback that I got was really helpful. You asked for help and I think that you got some honest, albeit blunt, answers.