Here's the background: When DD was born, my MIL asked me what I could use for the baby..My parents had talked months before and decided to buy the furniture for the baby's room..My ILs didn't ask until well after the baby was born, and we got most of the big "necessities" we needed ( I didn't have a shower, but did have a baby naming after she was born)...After she was born, she asked what I could use, and I said a few ideas, but we never "settled on anything," as by that point I really didn't NEED anything...I was upset that she didn't ask sooner, especially since she got our cousins gifts, and even made sure my BIL got us a gift (the pack n play), but never took the initiative herself...Well now DD is almost a year, and this has long been forgotten..DH and I have discussed it months ago, and he was going to ask his parents, but never did, and other family issues (sickness,etc) have happened over the year that it didn't seem appropriate to ask...Now my MIL is asking what we'd like for DD's birthday, and I feel like she really doesn't realize she never gave us anything when DD is born..I want DH to bring it up "subtly" but he doesn't want his mom to feel bad and have her think that WE realize she never got us a gift during the whole year...On a side note: money isn't an issue, it's more the thought..My MIL is great and is wonderful with DD and always helps us with babysitting and stuff like that..I don't want to sound selfish, but I'm hoping she will realize it on her own.. She said she'd like to start a college fund for DD, so it'd be nice if she did that..Anyway, it's a touchy subject and I don't really feel like it's my place to bring it up...It's just strange that all random relatives, friends,etc .got DD a gift, but not my own ILs...I also feel like my parents went above and beyond making sure I was ready for the baby getting the furniture, necessities, and other things I needed when she came home, since I didn't have a shower, when my ILs make way more money than my parents! Anyway, I appreciate the advice, since I feel like this is a delicate subject! Thanks for your thoughts!
Re: WWYD: MIL advice needed!
My advice? Tell your MIL what your LO would like for her birthday. The end. She asked what you wanted when your baby was born and you DIDNT ANSWER HER. It's not your MIL's fault that your parents went out and bought everything you needed. And yes, your parents did go above and beyond. Most new parents buy those big things for their own babies but your parents took care of so much that, by your own admission, there wasn't really anything left for your MIL to buy. Again, that's not her fault and obviously it was your parent's choice to buy those things and had nothing to do with how much they make compared to your MIL.
She wasn't obligated to get you something anyway. Be grateful that you have lots of loving family who is helping you so much and dont worry about keeping tabs on who's giving more than whom. That's petty. Just give her some ideas of what you'd like (DONT give the same ideas to your own parents), then thank her genuinely for whatever she decides to give.
This. Your child is almost a year old and you're still holding a grudge over this. Get over it. They didn't owe you anything and if you bring it up, you and your DH look like the *ssholes.
This and other pp...let go of it.
If you want something for her birthday, let them know. If you want a "thoughtful" gift, let them know that you'd like a special necklace, an engraved picture frame, etc...something that will last her life.
If that's your biggest problem with your MIL, you should spend your time calling hernand thanking her for being so involved in your daughter's life instead of writing a post about how she didn't buy you something.
Tell her what your daughter wants for her birthday. Move on. Be glad she isn't sending you emails cursing at you or worse. Sounds like you have one of the best MILs around here.
This exactly. People will always ask you what LO wants/needs for birthdays, etc., so if it's a gift you really want, then be prepared with a couple of suggestions. Get over the baby gift and consider it a lesson learned.
I would feel slighted by MIL as well....she should have asked well before LO arrived. I don't think it's gift grabby to think that ILs would/should want to give a gift in honor of a LO.
And from what I read of OP, she did give MIL a list of somethings she still wanted for LO and she got a big fat nothing....
I still say let your hubby handle it.
This.
I have to agree with most of the others....babysitting is worth far more than the actual gift!
She has asked what to get DS for his bday....give her a few ideas- but the fact that she didn't get him a present at his birth shouldn't come up at all.