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Attachment Parenting
Faceoff: DS vs Crazed Shopper
Some people need to slow down and breathe. We were shopping at Target and DS was "helping" Mommy. He was walking across the aisle to investigate all the fun things over there when a woman rode right up in his heels with her shopping cart. She was inching behind him totally putting the heat on him to move. I said to her "any reason you're tailgating my baby?" She huffed "I need to get down the aisle". I replied "and he needs to get across it. Wait your turn." It really chaps my @ss when adults think that whatever they're doing trumps the importance of what a kid is doing. It's just as important to him to get where he's going as it is to her. There was no fire and no one needed CPR. She could be a big girl and wait a second instead of essentially threatening to run my kid over if he didn't move. /vent
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Re: Faceoff: DS vs Crazed Shopper
Just because it wouldn't bother you for a kid to be taking up the entire aisle, doesn't mean it doesn't bother other people (especially this time of year when stores are already maddeningly crowded). Yes he should have the opportunity to explore his world, but a store is not a playground where kids have the "right of way" so to speak. It wouldn't have been a big deal to move him out of the way/ask him to come back to you for a minute, let her by, and then let him go back to exploring, and it would have been a good opportunity to teach him to be respectful of others who are also trying to use the space.
I can't stand it when people are so busy doing their own thing in a mall that they are unaware that they are blocking the way of other people.
I always try and move out of other people's way, I think it's common courtesy.
I would want to teach my own kid to be aware of those around him/her, and not to be so self-involved in their own world. I get really tired of the, "what I'm doing is most important and everyone else can just wait" attitude.
Having said that, I think the woman was over-reacting to the situation. Kids are kids, and I expect them to be caught up in their own world, so I wouldn't get all shirty at a small child exploring.
I would have rolled my eyes at your response however.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
seeing how I have a toddler, i know how kids sometimes want to look around the isle. So If I am out shopping and see a mom and kid in an isle I dont really need to go down I go to the next isle. If I need something on that isle, I will park the cart midway, not on top of the family, and walk around the child to get my item. No huff, no fuss.
However, If someone is driving their cart all crazy, my toddler listens well and I ask her "please let the busy people go past before you look at that." She generally steps close to me and gets out of the way. Plus the crazy cart driver cant *** at how i phrased it, even if they hear the tone of voice and the "busy" part. I actually had one person say thank you to my DD and slow down.
People with and without kids can be equally oblivious to those around them. The woman in the store was rude. But yeah, some parents can be completely unaware of anyone around them expect their kid.
I was on a crowded city bus one time, late for class, and at one stop a woman with a kid about three years old got on. Everyone on the bus was irritated because it was behind schedule, and there was a disabled person who boarded first, so this stop was already taking longer than usual. But this woman just had to take this opportunity to teach her son how to put the fare in the box. She was all chatty with the driver while her son dropped his change and couldn't get a dollar in the slot. I realize it didn't take forever and it's not like this woman and her kid made me late, but, come on lady. Look around the bus, there are other people in the world. Save the lesson for a Sunday when there aren't angry commuters on a bus that's already 10 minutes late.
I answered before I read everyone else's responses. Hmm, I guess I'm seeing it from the perspective of the mom of an older kid. DD walks slower than adults, it's a fact. But she's not really at the dawdling/exploring for the fun of it stage anymore. So, since I have about 2-3 incidents per week when someone is at her heels sighing loudly, I felt sympathy for the mom here and noted to self that I should ask "why are you tailgating my daughter?" next time this happens.
I've had this debate dozens of times with New Yorker friends who think moms have no business taking their kids on the subway during rush hour (I say this because I think it compares to the concept of taking a toddler shopping during Christmas season). Sometimes I actually have to be somewhere at a certain time and I am not going to limit myself to subway riding between 10am-3pm. Likewise, I think most moms can't just drop their kid off with grandmom to go finish their Christmas shopping.
I don't think anyone is saying it was ok for her to almost run him over, regardless of the situation. You could have easily been aware of another cart barreling down the aisle, and said something to him like, "Hey Buddy, why don't you step back here for a second and let this lady get by, and then you can go look at XYZ over on the shelf," or even just moved your own cart over to the same side of the aisle as he was on so she could get by. Was she a biitch about it? Yes definitely, but you could have been a little more respectful of her wanting to get through as well, instead of having the "wait your turn, my kid is investigating" attitude. Common courtesy says that, if the situation allows for it, the slower person lets the faster person by so they don't have to wait on you, whether that's on a track, at the grocery store, on a sidewalk, wherever.
You don't have to abide by that, or agree with it, or make any effort at all to be aware of other people and help make things easier for everyone... but other people also don't have to be happy that both you and your child are taking your sweet time when they want/need to get by you (whether they deserve the courtesy or not).
I disagree. If I did this, I would never, ever, ever get anywhere with DD on a crowded city sidewalk if I let every other person go by first. The people huffing and puffing about my slow-walking child are the same ones who say strollers take up too much space on the sidewalk and that New Yorkers let their kids ride in them for too long. I want to ask them what I am supposed to do if it's not acceptable for my child to walk or ride in a stroller while out? Oh, that's right, I'm just not supposed to leave the house with her.
The fact is that there are some rude, impatient people in the world and this woman at the Target sounds like one of them. I don't think it's reasonable to almost run down a child with a shopping cart.
Oh good grief, I didn't say the slower person should stop and let every single person by, and never get anywhere, or just never leave the house at all. I said that if the situation allows, the slower person should move over to allow others room to pass. If there was enough room in an aisle or on a sidewalk for you and your toddler to walk to the side, and save room for others to pass, you wouldn't do that? Just like if there was enough room for her cart AND her kid to be on the same side of an aisle so others could get by, she shouldn't be aware and do that? Just because some people don't deserve the courtesy, doesn't mean you should stoop to their level and not give it to them.
I also don't think it's reasonable to run down a child with a cart, as I've said more than once. But that situation wouldn't have even had a chance to happen if the OP had made the effort to move herself to the same side as her child, or her child back to where she was at for the 2 seconds it would have taken the woman to get by. Did the woman "deserve" to be considered? Maybe not, given how she handled it. Or maybe she was just having a really bad day, and had been stopped by every Inconsiderate Joe and their dog before that, and was tired of it (again, not that it makes her almost running him over right). I'm a pretty patient person, and there have been several times that I've been frazzled because of a shopping trip taking three times as long as it should, because of people not giving a shiit about moving for 2 seconds so others can get by.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm aware of that. I teach my kids manners, just as I use them myself. But just because the woman was a biitch about it, doesn't make it ok to be a biitch right back, when you are also somewhat in the "wrong" if you want to call it that. Sometimes you suck it up, and do the polite thing even if the other person doesn't deserve it. Who knows, maybe it'll help put them in a better mood, and they'll start considering others themselves.
Then you should probably start teaching him to move aside and let other people go first, as a straight safety standpoint. Unfortunately there are people that just don't see toddlers (hey, they're short, dart around a lot, seem to find the perfect opportunity to slip into places unseen), and others who find them to be a nuisance. It's not right, but it happens. I can't tell you how many times I've pulled one of the kids back just to be polite, only to have the other person say, "Oh wow, I didn't even see him/her there!" If there's another cart barreling down the aisle, then pull him back or hurry him across yourself, just so that he doesn't get run over by someone too self-absorbed to notice him. As much as it sucks, you can't trust the other person to not put him in danger (either knowingly or not).
Though I also feel like since you didn't have a cart yourself, and you saw the lady coming, you could have even more easily just walked across the aisle with him and given her the room to go around, and no excuse to barrel up on him in the first place.
I'm sorry she was such a biitch to your kid though. I would have been mad about that too.
Crazy shopper is a b!tch, period. Even if she were in a hurry and he were completely unsupervised and utterly bratty, she still shouldn't have acted the way she did.
Yes, we have to keep an eye on our kids, yes people sometimes don't even see them and they might end up getting hurt, but somehow I don't really believe that the kid was unsupervised.
I think OP handled it beautifully - she didn't just take it in silence and she didn't curse or swear or whoop the woman's arse. Beautiful lesson to be taught to a kid - to politely, yet firmly, stand up to oneself. BRAVO!
OMG This!
Exactly what I was going to say! I've noticed in the South that ppl think it's "rude" to say excuse me, but it's okay to huff & puff if someone is in your way. It annoys me to no end.
So basically she was just impatient & took it out on your LO. Barreling down on a toddler (or anyone, for that matter) isn't cool. Wait for him to cross or say "excuse me" if he's dawdling.
This is why I hate shopping this time of year. Everyone (well almost everyone) is grumpy & sh!tty. What Christmas cheer.
I think I love you.
This post is ridiculous.
For real.
I would not have pegged this as a drama-filled, flaming red dot topic.
Merry Christmas....?
Right? I can understand people disagreeing but I find the rudeness is really uncalled for.
Totally. Merry Effing Christmas errybody.
My immediate thought is that I would have said "DS outta the way this lady is trying to get by....sorry about that!"
ILY.
Are you kidding me with lamenting the fact that your child is seen as a nuisance but an elderly person isn't? This world is completely tailor-made to kids and their entitled parents. And if it's not, you people complain that it's not.
Target at Christmas is not the time to let your kid "explore". People have stuff to get done.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
Well Said Sparky.....