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preparing for child birth

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Re: preparing for child birth

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    stayceestaycee member

    still waiting for an answer about what happens if she ends up with a c/s.

    :::pouts:::

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    pinkflipflops44pinkflipflops44 member
    i love this thread. this just made my day.
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    AmethystMSUAmethystMSU member

    LOVE!

    What a great movie. It's sad that Dirth already has Idiocracy stupidity considering it's only 2011.

     

    ETA: this was supposed to quote the person with the Idiocracy nation's president AE.

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    LovestruckAJLovestruckAJ member

    Fisting!?! Are you kidding me!? The elasticity of the vagina is built for childbirth. It will stretch on it's own when ready & doesn't require prep work. The risk of tearing just comes with the territory.

    But, by all means, if you're just looking for an excuse for YH to stick his fist up your twat, go for it. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.

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    advb0921advb0921 member

    imagepinkflipflops44:
    i love this thread. this just made my day.

    Yes

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    copzgirlcopzgirl member
    I hope more people jump on this thread...I mean there is probably plenty of room.
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    gisa886gisa886 member
    I think I pee'd a little bit when I read this.
    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
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    AshasaurusRexAshasaurusRex member
    I PPH this whole wonderful thread. I especially enjoyed the Jonathan Brandis siggy, and flappy vag reference. OP, pretty please stick around for the tri boards, TB needs women like you to keep us entertained.
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    dirthvaderdirthvader member

    I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

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    sweetgothamsweetgotham member

    imagegisa886:
    I think I pee'd a little bit when I read this.

     

    More kegels, less vag stretching and you should be able to keep that pee on the stick where it belongs!

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    gisa886gisa886 member
    imagesweetgotham:

    imagegisa886:
    I think I pee'd a little bit when I read this.

     

    More kegels, less vag stretching and you should be able to keep that pee on the stick where it belongs!

    I shouldn't have done so much fisting before baby number 1. I've wrecked my vag forever

    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
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    measrnmeasrn member
    Save the fisting for your a$$hole. It'll help prevent hemorrhoids. 
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    smittie417smittie417 member
    imagedirthvader:

    I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

    Yes.  You are, someone's been watching WAY too many pornos...

    image

    TTC since August 2011 (Me-29, DH-32).
    4/28/2012 - SA: 5% motility.
    5/21/2012 - SA: same results.
    Only shot is IVF (ICSI)
    5/31/2012 - HSG: all clear
    6/22/2012 - appt with RE, confirmed ICSI is necessary.
    8/3/2012 - First IVF Monitoring Appointment
    8/17/2012 - Egg Retrieval (retrieved 23 eggs, 3 made it to freezer)
    8/18/2012 - OHSS - hospitalized, need to wait one cycle to transfer embryo(s) due to OHSS
    8/29/2012 - begin meds for frozen cycle
    10/12/2012 - FET one embryo
    10/24/2012 - Beta #1: 442
    10/26/2012 - Beta #2: 947
    10/29/2012 - Beta #3: 2900!
    11/15/2012 - first u/s: baby measuring perfect, heart rate is right on target
    2/6/2013 - A/S looked perfect. Still team green by choice!
    7/6/2013 - Baby girl born after 44 hours of un-medicated labor, 2 hours of pushing, and emergency c-section due to transverse head.  DD was perfectly healthy at 6 pounds, 14 ounces.  We are thrilled!!
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    MiniStephMiniSteph
    imageMissMusic:

    imagerrcraz7:
    Totally. Started years ago to be sure it was all good when the time came. Labor and delivery was a breeze. Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. Keep at it you'll get there!

    ::crying from laughing::

     

    ...the thread that keeps on giving...

    ETA:

    image 

    *snort* Love this! 

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    abfromvaabfromva member

    Vinny might be willing to lend a hand Wink

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    party-fails-crunk-critters-catnips-a-hell-of-a-drug GBCB- Leaving the bump in protest of the new changes. No privacy= no bump for me.
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    Jnmac83Jnmac83 member
    imagedirthvader:

    I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

    ::facepalm:: No one can really be THIS stupid. Please. Stop.

    (Actually, don't because I need to fill another 45 minutes into my work day and this is passing time.)

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    eesomeeesome member
    imagedirthvader:

    I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

    You're right...you need to fist now.

    If you fist while you're pregnant, the baby will develop a condition of the head called Frankensteinism. It's the flattening of the top of the head from consistent fisting to the baby's skull. YWIA.

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    BelleIsaBelleIsa member

    I was falling asleep at my desk until I read this. 

    OP - You should listen to the advice of all the ladies who have HAD babies (myself included), if you tear, you tear.  I promise you won't even feel it and you won't care when it's happening.  Seriously. 

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    MeatballEsqMeatballEsq member
    imageabfromva:

    Vinny might be willing to lend a hand Wink

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    Yay I love Vinny. And I take back what I said earlier...this is even better than the creampie post.

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    Svenny1011Svenny1011 member
    imageabfromva:

    Vinny might be willing to lend a hand Wink

    image

    I absolutely cannot control my laughing right now.

    I LOVE this thread.  

    Married since 2008 | TTC #1 since 2011

    2 losses: Nov '11 and Aug '12
    Dx: Feb '13 - HSG shows clear tubes but minor diverticulitis; Borderline DOR; Low DHEA and low testosterone.
    Moving on to IUI or IVF.

    3.4.13:  Holy crap! Surprise natural BFP on cycle #19. EDD 11.12.13
    We've got a peen.....it's a boy! 
    Little man born 11.17.2013 via c-section


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    Jnmac83Jnmac83 member
    imageLindsRockies:
    imageMissMusic:

    imagerrcraz7:
    Totally. Started years ago to be sure it was all good when the time came. Labor and delivery was a breeze. Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. Keep at it you'll get there!

    ::crying from laughing::

     

    ...the thread that keeps on giving...

    ETA:

    image 

    Parking your bike in an airplane hangar?

    Even a 747 looks small in the Grand Canyon?

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    sweetgothamsweetgotham member
    imagegisa886:
    imagesweetgotham:

    imagegisa886:
    I think I pee'd a little bit when I read this.

     

    More kegels, less vag stretching and you should be able to keep that pee on the stick where it belongs!

    I shouldn't have done so much fisting before baby number 1. I've wrecked my vag forever

    Clearly. I can hear the balloon air escaping sound from here.

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    Titts McGeeeTitts McGeee member
    Titts was here.
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    ClarissaDarlingClarissaDarling
    The art of vaginal expansion is best practiced with household objects. Your body will respond better to objects such as vases, bicycle pumps, chair legs. By the time you have that baby, it'll slip right out.
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    ams8099ams8099 member
    imagestaycee:

    this is going down in Bump history along with such infamous dumb posts as "fingernail full of feta", "CatPiss" and "Irish Twins".

    Yay!

    My thoughts exactly. 

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    TanyaKMTanyaKM

    imagegisa886:
    I think I pee'd a little bit when I read this.

    This!

    And: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    *Catches breath*

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

    ETA: I miss TTGP. Can't wait to come back for round 2! 

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    j_luvs_rj_luvs_r member

    Wow. 

    If I had known that fisting would help maybe I wouldn't have needed that vacuum to assist in pushing out my little 6lb 5 oz baby.  Where were you when I needed you, Dirth?!?!

    Ick! 

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    stayceestaycee member

    imageClarissaDarling:
    The art of vaginal expansion is best practiced with household objects. Your body will respond better to objects such as vases, bicycle pumps, chair legs. By the time you have that baby, it'll slip right out.

    LOL @ "art of vaginal expansion"

    that is awesome

    image
    TTC#1 Chart
    TTC#2 Chart
    IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
    IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09) AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
    beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
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    it's the Bug and Baby Belle!
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    earmuffs03earmuffs03

    This thread made my day!!!!

    image

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    sweetgothamsweetgotham member
    imagestaycee:

    imageClarissaDarling:
    The art of vaginal expansion is best practiced with household objects. Your body will respond better to objects such as vases, bicycle pumps, chair legs. By the time you have that baby, it'll slip right out.

    LOL @ "art of vaginal expansion"

    that is awesome

    Thankfully for all, I am at work an unable to PIP a photo I have seen of a woman with a butternut squash up her vag. Made soda cans and beer bottles seem pedestrian.

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    LILBIT1221LILBIT1221 member

    imagecopzgirl:
    I hope more people jump on this thread...I mean there is probably plenty of room.
    ISWYDT.

    I wonder if the Duggars started out as Fisters too? Ooh. I bet the sister wives fist. The family that fists together stays together right?

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    LILBIT1221LILBIT1221 member

    imagecopzgirl:
    I hope more people jump on this thread...I mean there is probably plenty of room.
    duplicate fist sorry
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    oOSoreVagOooOSoreVagOo member

    imageClarissaDarling:
    The art of vaginal expansion is best practiced with household objects. Your body will respond better to objects such as vases, bicycle pumps, chair legs. By the time you have that baby, it'll slip right out.

    Please.God.No.

     

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    Jnmac83Jnmac83 member

    Every time I feel like it can't get any better, it does. Ahhhhh, my abs are getting a workout today!

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    smittie417smittie417 member
    imageLILBIT1221:

    imagecopzgirl:
    I hope more people jump on this thread...I mean there is probably plenty of room.
    duplicate fist sorry

    Ha ha!  I love this thread :)

    image

    TTC since August 2011 (Me-29, DH-32).
    4/28/2012 - SA: 5% motility.
    5/21/2012 - SA: same results.
    Only shot is IVF (ICSI)
    5/31/2012 - HSG: all clear
    6/22/2012 - appt with RE, confirmed ICSI is necessary.
    8/3/2012 - First IVF Monitoring Appointment
    8/17/2012 - Egg Retrieval (retrieved 23 eggs, 3 made it to freezer)
    8/18/2012 - OHSS - hospitalized, need to wait one cycle to transfer embryo(s) due to OHSS
    8/29/2012 - begin meds for frozen cycle
    10/12/2012 - FET one embryo
    10/24/2012 - Beta #1: 442
    10/26/2012 - Beta #2: 947
    10/29/2012 - Beta #3: 2900!
    11/15/2012 - first u/s: baby measuring perfect, heart rate is right on target
    2/6/2013 - A/S looked perfect. Still team green by choice!
    7/6/2013 - Baby girl born after 44 hours of un-medicated labor, 2 hours of pushing, and emergency c-section due to transverse head.  DD was perfectly healthy at 6 pounds, 14 ounces.  We are thrilled!!
    Report Reply
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    MereBMereB member
    imagedirthvader:

    I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

    And WE still have unanswered questions. . . like, where did you hear this? I mean, why not just buy a baby doll to practice with. . . it would be more realistic.

    What happens if you end up needing a c-section?

     

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    oOSoreVagOooOSoreVagOo member
    imageMereB:
    imagedirthvader:

    I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

    And WE still have unanswered questions. . . like, where did you hear this? I mean, why not just buy a baby doll to practice with. . . it would be more realistic.

    What happens if you end up needing a c-section?

     

    Dirth you better not even think about sticking a baby doll up in me. I will turn you inside out.

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    measrnmeasrn member
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    LILBIT1221LILBIT1221 member
    imageoOSoreVagOo:
    imageMereB:
    imagedirthvader:

    I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

    And WE still have unanswered questions. . . like, where did you hear this? I mean, why not just buy a baby doll to practice with. . . it would be more realistic.

    What happens if you end up needing a c-section?

     

    Dirth you better not even think about sticking a baby doll up in me. I will turn you inside out.

    why do I think she is just the one to try this? 0_o
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    sgt_emasgt_ema member
    imageSvenny1011:
    imagedirthvader:

    Since we've been ttc I've become more worried about the actual birth experience. I know it's probably a while away since I'm not pregnant yet but the idea of all that stretching and tearing freaks me out. I've heard of some women trying to gradually loosen things up down there using toys and eventually fisting. DH and I had started this a little while ago but it seems to be taking forever to even notice any type of change. Is anyone else trying to prepare for birth already? If you are what are you doing so far?

    This just made my day. I have never heard that. It freaks me out too, but I'm not about to start loosening sh*t up down there, and there is no fist going up my hoohoo. 

    YesThis. Totally. This.

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    TTC 7-2011 *BFP 11-17-2011 *Emergency C-Section due to placenta abruption at 35 weeks  *TTC #2 6-17-14

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