preparing for child birth

lildevil968

Wow, maybe I should have tried that. I needed to have plastic surgery on my vag after I was done.

abfromva

sweetgotham:

staycee:

ClarissaDarling:

The art of vaginal expansion is best practiced with household objects. Your body will respond better to objects such as vases, bicycle pumps, chair legs. By the time you have that baby, it'll slip right out.

LOL @ "art of vaginal expansion"

that is awesome

Thankfully for all, I am at work an unable to PIP a photo I have seen of a woman with a butternut squash up her vag. Made soda cans and beer bottles seem pedestrian.

I saw a man's entire head in a vag. I am not at work and free to post but I think I might draw the line at that one.

sweetgotham

MereB:

And WE still have unanswered questions. . . like, where did you hear this? I mean, why not just buy a baby doll to practice with. . . it would be more realistic.

I think it was her husband.

"Hey, honey...I want to fist you."

" "

"I mean, I heard from someone at...uh...work...that he fisted his wife and...um...it was super easy for the baby to come out!"

"Oh..Ok!"

scoutkate

 

KymRandall

Despite the TERRIFYING visuals that have locked my vag up for the next week, I am SO happy this post is part of my day.  

dirthvader

MereB:

dirthvader:

I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

And WE still have unanswered questions. . . like, where did you hear this? I mean, why not just buy a baby doll to practice with. . . it would be more realistic.

What happens if you end up needing a c-section?

 

Hopefully I won't need a c-section. I've read about massaging and preparing down there for birth. DH and I talked about it and he introduced the idea of stretching apparently its popular in the fetish culture. Some women have stretched a great deal and can fit very large objects. We aren't doing it to that point but we feel it may help ease birthing to stretch things a bit.

sweetgotham

abfromva:

I saw a man's entire head in a vag. I am not at work and free to post but I think I might draw the line at that one.

 

Well, duh..the whole head needs to be in there so the spermies can get in!

...oh...wait...hrm...maybe you and I hang out on the same sites.

j_luvs_r

dirthvader:

DH and I talked about it and he introduced the idea of stretching apparently its popular in the fetish culture.

And there you go.

oOSoreVagOo

SuperCuteBenz

dirthvader:

MereB:

dirthvader:

I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

And WE still have unanswered questions. . . like, where did you hear this? I mean, why not just buy a baby doll to practice with. . . it would be more realistic.

What happens if you end up needing a c-section?

 

Hopefully I won't need a c-section. I've read about massaging and preparing down there for birth. DH and I talked about it and he introduced the idea of stretching apparently its popular in the fetish culture. Some women have stretched a great deal and can fit very large objects. We aren't doing it to that point but we feel it may help ease birthing to stretch things a bit.

WTF.

This whole thing has to be a joke.

AshasaurusRex

eesome:

dirthvader:

I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

You're right...you need to fist now.

If you fist while you're pregnant, the baby will develop a condition of the head called Frankensteinism. It's the flattening of the top of the head from consistent fisting to the baby's skull. YWIA.

I'm dying.

catahoulatte

dirthvader:

Hopefully I won't need a c-section. I've read about massaging and preparing down there for birth. DH and I talked about it and he introduced the idea of stretching apparently its popular in the fetish culture. Some women have stretched a great deal and can fit very large objects. We aren't doing it to that point but we feel it may help ease birthing to stretch things a bit.

Oh my. FIrst off, unless he can get his fist up your cervix and stretch that out for you, labor is still going to suck. 

Secondly, what else has he "heard about" that he's talked you into???

kcblues97

KymRandall:

Despite the TERRIFYING visuals that has locked my vag up for the next week, I am SO happy this post is part of my day. 

This!!!

And per the OP's latest post...Sweetgotham, you were right!!!!!

Mt2G1012

scoutkate:

 

LMFAO!  Perfect placement!

sweetgotham

dirthvader:

MereB:

dirthvader:

I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

And WE still have unanswered questions. . . like, where did you hear this? I mean, why not just buy a baby doll to practice with. . . it would be more realistic.

What happens if you end up needing a c-section?

 

Hopefully I won't need a c-section. I've read about massaging and preparing down there for birth. DH and I talked about it and he introduced the idea of stretching apparently its popular in the fetish culture. Some women have stretched a great deal and can fit very large objects. We aren't doing it to that point but we feel it may help ease birthing to stretch things a bit.

I knew it!!!

Also, OP, it's not 'quite popular' in the fetish culture, it's popular with people who have that activity as a fetish. Also, it has nothing to do with giving birth. Get a clue. People are fvcking with you.  

btaylor19

oOSoreVagOo:

love

kcblues97

btaylor19:

oOSoreVagOo:

love

I second that!

MillerTime13

oOSoreVagOo:

Yesssssssssssss.

*high fives SoreVag* oh wait...I'll leave that to the OP's hubby.

Kitiara5512

MissMusic:

I love your siggy - I cried a few years ago when I went to see if he made it into directing and wound up reading about his suicide. He was my biggest preteen/teen crush.

KNemo

Who wants a badge?

<a href="https://tinypic.com?ref=11sfkp1" target="_blank"><img src="https://i42.tinypic.com/11sfkp1.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"></a>

smittie417

oOSoreVagOo:

I seriously want to put this in my siggy, but I think people on other boards would get the wrong idea, LOL.

KNemo

MillerTime13:

oOSoreVagOo:

Yesssssssssssss.

*high fives SoreVag* oh wait...I'll leave that to the OP's hubby.

Damn you Vag! You beat me to the punch, errr fist!

oOSoreVagOo

smittie417:

oOSoreVagOo:

I seriously want to put this in my siggy, but I think people on other boards would get the wrong idea, LOL.

Just make it link to this post. Provide thousands with entertainment at my expense.

Mrs07

No, OP, it doesn't work that way.  I did Bradley and hypnobirthing and went natural.  Because I didn't try terribly hard to push the baby out quicker than my body could adjust, I had NO tearing, and didn't require a single stitch.

I strongly suggest you read some of that material if you actually want to prepare for childbirth.

Jnmac83

CatahoulaMom:

dirthvader:

Hopefully I won't need a c-section. I've read about massaging and preparing down there for birth. DH and I talked about it and he introduced the idea of stretching apparently its popular in the fetish culture. Some women have stretched a great deal and can fit very large objects. We aren't doing it to that point but we feel it may help ease birthing to stretch things a bit.

Oh my. FIrst off, unless he can get his fist up your cervix and stretch that out for you, labor is still going to suck. 

Secondly, what else has he "heard about" that he's talked you into???

Good question! OP, just so you know, you can only get pg in your vag hole no matter what your DH tells you!

Svenny1011

dirthvader:

MereB:

dirthvader:

I see all of the replies here, RRCRAZ7 and I can't be the only ones who have practiced stretching. I'm really just trying to get more advice and info on this, so if you've done it please reply or message me. I still have some unanswered questions.

And WE still have unanswered questions. . . like, where did you hear this? I mean, why not just buy a baby doll to practice with. . . it would be more realistic.

What happens if you end up needing a c-section?

 

Hopefully I won't need a c-section. I've read about massaging and preparing down there for birth. DH and I talked about it and he introduced the idea of stretching apparently its popular in the fetish culture. Some women have stretched a great deal and can fit very large objects. We aren't doing it to that point but we feel it may help ease birthing to stretch things a bit.

Uh, for reals? Your husband came to you and suggested you partake in fisting, and you said "Sure, no prob"?

First, your husband is a perv. Second, you are a moron.  

tatercater

oOSoreVagOo:

smittie417:

oOSoreVagOo:

I seriously want to put this in my siggy, but I think people on other boards would get the wrong idea, LOL.

Just make it link to this post. Provide thousands with entertainment at my expense.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  I was trying so hard to not lose my sh!t laughing at my desk, but this sent me over the edge.

Look, if you want to expirement with fisting, go right ahead!  But don't look at me for validation!!

staycee

dirthvader:

Hopefully I won't need a c-section.

yeah, hopefully.   THat's what probably a lot of women who had c/s thought too.   Sometimes it's not your choice and stretching out your hooha won't stop it.

MsNessa

LindsRockies:

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/43244004.aspx

I remember corgidogs, but I totally missed that thread!  Wow!

 

Seriously OP, tearing and getting stitches is not that big of a deal.  I had a 3rd degree tear, got stitched up and recovered just fine.  I would much rather tear than TRY to be permanently stretched out.

So glad I was lurking today.   

tandb2010

LollipopsAndCrisps:

I laughed so loud with this pic I scared my DD.

JennyAnne022776

atlb:

horsetail!

BWHAHAHA!!!!!  I was getting ready to add that on but you beat me to it.

This is the hardest I've laughed in a very long time.

Jenelle101

I didn't tear AT ALL and I did nothing like you are doing to prepare for it. Maybe I was lucky...but you don't know what will happen when you give birth. You may be lucky like me! But please stop with the fisting. Your body was made to have babies. It will be just fine. 

sgt_ema

sweetgotham:

gisa886:

sweetgotham:

gisa886:

I think I pee'd a little bit when I read this.

 

More kegels, less vag stretching and you should be able to keep that pee on the stick where it belongs!

I shouldn't have done so much fisting before baby number 1. I've wrecked my vag forever

Clearly. I can hear the balloon air escaping sound from here.

 

WAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!  This thread is freakin amazing

bostonbluejay

BBJ was here!!!

ChiTown Bridget

Um..... what the hell?  And fwiw I had a c section.

testtubebaby

CLECyclist:

Massaging the perineum with oils during labor helps, according to a good friend of mine who is a Midwife. If you tear, you tear. It happens. You might poop, too. All the fists in the world won't change that.

 Also, fisting??? o_O

OP- maybe you and your husband can use some of that EVOO to aid in the fisting process.

davidsbabie2009

LEAVE YOUR POOR VAG ALONE!! OMFG WTF!?!? You don't need to do ANYTHING but maybe some kegals. OMG does your husband actually fist you!?!?!?! *jaw drop*

megsta1

sweetgotham:

It works better if you fist him; he is the one with the prostate.

Also: BHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. I love it!

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

megsta1

DUP

BrittanyMc

Dude, fisting is all the rage these days.  In all seriousness, your not going to be thinking about fisting yourself while pushing a human being out of your vajay.  Your going to bleed, feel pain, and possibly tear regardless of what you do.  Childbirth is a ***, but the end result is awesome.