I don't understand why I let myself get so irritated by other people being so naive about their pregnancy. Like a week ago, DH was telling me that a college friend of his posted on FB that they are expecting a baby on 5/26/12. Which means she was announcing her pregnancy at about 9 weeks along. I'm 12 weeks and I'm not even close to announcing yet--other than parents and siblings and one close friend, no one knows I am pregnant. I see similar things on my BMB. People who are posting their FB announcements to the world at like 8 and 9 weeks, or saying that they've already told everyone at 7 weeks. Then today, there's a post on my BMB asking who's decorated their nurseries already, and a bunch of people are like, "I have!" And keep in mind the farthest person along on my BMB is 14 weeks.
I don't know if it's a jealousy thing--like I wish I could be that naive again or just like a frustration thing. I mean everyone knows, whether they've had a loss or not, that 1st tri is an extremely high risk period. Everyone. And the fact that people start ordering cribs and painting nurseries and announcing their pregnancies at 8, 9, or even 10 weeks pregnant, I just don't understand. It just seems so foolish.
I think I'm just being a huge b*tch, but for some reason this just REALLY makes me nuts. I totally get my panties in a bunch about it. Is it just me? Am I just the bitter PgAL lady or what?
BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14. 4/27/14: Our second take home baby is here!
Re: Why does other people being naive bother me so much?
DD#1 9-4-04 *** DD#2 10-15-07
BFP#3 10-25-10 *EDD 7/1/11 * missed m/c @ 13w3d
BFP#4 7-30-11 *EDD 4/8/12 ~ DD#3 born 4/4/12
mm 2/17/11 * dd born 4/20/12 * bo 1/3/14 * edd 1/21/ 1/15
((hugs)) just seeing that kinda of behavior stings for sure. I think it is just our sadness over losing that naivete, that feeling that nothing bad can happen - it's gone for us. It's not jealous, it's not anger - it's feeling oddly scared and more real that we know what can happen and we had to learn about it first hand. It isn't fair but it just is how it is. A guy DH works with just posted an (at max) 8 week u/s on FB....yeah. seeing that hurt. but I think it hurt because we were like hmm... we are further than they are and want to be happy and share this great news too but can't feel safe to do so yet, it is just a weird feeling. seeing him get all the congrats at work kind of hurt DH because inside he was wanting to share our news too.
As far as planning a nursery and buying a bunch of stuff right off the bat - that seems really weird and crazy to me regardless of having a loss or not. but whatever floats their boat I guess.
TTC since 8/2010. Irregular cycles after stopping BCP.
1st BFP! 3/26/11. Missed M/C - D&C 5/2/11.
Always missed: Our little Blueberry. It's Never Over.
2nd BFP! 9/3/11 on last unmedicated cycle! EDD: 5/11/12
1stBeta @13DPO = 289, 2ndBeta @15DPO = 619!
? Clementine Lorraine, we love you so much already! ?
It drives me crazy too. I have a friend that recently announced on FB that she is pregnant with her 3rd. She made the announcement at not even 7 weeks. Now there is a weekly post about where the baby is developmentally. I also found out that another friend and his wife are expecting (still in the 1st trimester). Her birth control failed when she took E at Burning Man. While she has always wanted kids, he is in school full time and she is just getting her career off the ground, and they party all the time. They were definitely not planning on starting their family until after he's out of school. I know they will be great parents, but it's going to be a huge lifestyle change for them, which worries me.
Drives me crazy!
BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12
~*~My BFP Chart~*~Our Story~*~
~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~
I totally understand. I think I am jealous of people being that naive and just assuming that everything will be okay now that they're pregnant. I will never be able to feel that way again.
I'm now 17 weeks, and haven't announced yet. I lost our son at 22weeks, so there will be no 'safe zone' for me. We have an appointment this week, and I'm trying to convince myself that I should just announce it if all is well after that ultrasound. Many of my family and friends know - the ones that see me all the time, but there are a lot that don't. It's becoming fairly obvious now.
I get more irritated by the people who update every day how they're feeling, how sick they are, etc. etc. I have one girl on my fb who posts something about her baby and husband every.single.day. I'm lucky to update my facebook status once every 2 weeks. haha. to each their own I guess.
It's not just you and you're not bitter.
I'm a little over 22 weeks and I still haven't made the FB announcement, or told people at work other than my bosses and those who supported me during my loss. I'm really big around the middle, so LO is hiding really well in my belly fat. I'm hoping to hold out till Thanksgiving, which is in a couple of weeks and past V-day for me. I just have an idea about my nursery and I haven't bought anything, nor started a registry yet.
Ditto! I haven't even outed myself on FB either! Yes, I'm a bit paranoid. lol
Totally, to each her own. And like I said, I'm not even sure what the feeling is. I'm 99% sure it's just jealousy, rather than, oh God that girl is STOO-PID for announcing. It just totally bums me out and makes me nuts that someone can be 7 weeks along and announce to the world that they are pregnant and start decorating the nursery and it like does not even occur to them that something could go wrong, when really, I live with that fear on a daily basis. I mean I'm walking around in my office in loose fitted clothes and holding papers in front of my belly because I'm already showing and I'm still refusing to tell anyone because what if something goes wrong and I have to untell?? And the fact that those girls can tell and it doesn't even occur to them that there could be negative consequences just makes me insane.
BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14. 4/27/14: Our second take home baby is here!
BFP#1 EDD 11/8/11 - MC @ 9w6d, 4/15/11 we said goodbye
BFP#2 DD arrived 5/7/12
As for buying things, I am opposite. With our first I literally had nothing to remember her. Nothing. So when I became pregnant the second time I made a point to buy things specifically for that baby. I'm glad I did because it's all in her memory box and one day I do hope to hand these things down to a brother or sister. I've already bought one thing for this baby too. For me it's definitely not naivety, it's just my way of comforting myself.
[spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow
BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010
BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)
3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!
Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500
First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat
LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!
TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015
Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015
Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270
First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.
JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.
TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]