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Libby1978
member
A question for the ex-believers in God
Libby1978
member
How did your road to non-belief begin?
For me, it started when my family was going through an extremely difficult time. I was going to church, praying, reading my bible. All the things I thought I should be. Our situation not only didn't get better, it got worse. That started my doubt in God.
I started watching atheist channels here and there on YouTube. I was still a believer at this point, but found the things these people had to say interesting. After a while the things the atheist were saying started making more sense to me than the things Christians said. At first I started thinking maybe I believe in this part, but not that. Which eventually turned into, I don't believe any of that. It took me a really long time to say that outloud (and I still can't tell my parents). I grew up in church, my dad is a minister & I was taught from a very young age that "this" is the "right" way. I was taught not to question God, the bible or our (my parent's) religious beliefs.
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Re: A question for the ex-believers in God
It began with the school I was going to (A Baptist school) talking mad shits about everyone who wasn't a Baptist and telling the 6th grade class (all 4 of us) to be careful when we were in public school because the "heathens" would put acid in our sodas if we left them unattended.
I was finished with religion about 2 weeks after my BFF's dad (whom she was very close to) died. She was completely involved with her church, helped run the youth program, donated hundreds of hours to helping out wherever she could. I was with her the day the pastor came to her house and told her that she was being removed from her position in the youth group because "obviously her family was more important to her than her church" and they needed someone who would make their church the #1 priority.
BFF was 17.
After the pastor walked out of the door, I spent the next several hours calming BFF down. It was in those several hours that I determined that religion was for the birds and the "Christians" from that church had no right to call themselves anything but self-righteous asssholes.
Unable to even.
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You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
This story totally breaks my heart. I am so sorry that you had to go through something like this. I believe in God with everything inside of me, but that is just so you know where I am coming from, I don't want to seem like I'm pushing anything on you.
I am just curious, did you feel comforted by these athiest ideas?
Did you find the peace that you needed to feel by rejecting the faith and did stuff get better for you?
Like I said I'm just really curious. For me, in difficult times, I have always felt comfort in having something bigger than me to believe in. I just feel like letting go of my faith would make me feel even more alone.
I'm not totally sure where it started - it was sort of like, when I was a kid I believed in God because my family made me to go church & Sunday school, etc and as the years went by, something just gradually changed...and all of a sudden I was at a point where I didn't know what I believed and I was pretty sure I didn't believe in many of the things surrounding God & traditional religion. I suspect it started around 12 years old when my grandmother died - it was my first experience with death and I was incredibly close to her and was truly devastated. To this day, I can't not cry in a church...I try not to, but I always do, so it's definitely a place of pain and discomfort for me.
DH is very spiritual, and I never knew how much it bothered him that I wasn't a believer until DS was about to arrive! So I really am trying to find my faith again and it's slow going. Ironically, I want DS to be baptised so badly, despite my struggle with religion and faith, so I know it's buried deep in me somewhere and I must still believe in something!
it totes makes me sad that so called "Christians" have cause others to lose their faith.
Jesus is cool & so not down with that. swearsies.
look at the birds | bless this food
For me, I gather comfort in facts, logic and reason. When I am feeling unhappy, it makes me feel better to know the different scientific theroies for life on earth. I like studying the methods on biology and evolution.
In college, I was turned on to Bertrand Russell by a professor. I read some of his stuff (Why I Am Not a Christian, Marriage and Morals, The Conquest of Happiness), and it really resonated with me.
Also, when I realized, right about that same time, that I was placing more and more faith in science and data than in God and the Bible, I realized I was most likely an agnostic. As my personal scale continued to tip in favor of science and freethought, it hit me one day like a proverbial ton of bricks: I have become an atheist...!
This is me too. I picked biology as my major and it grew from there.
I know!!!! I mean this in all sincerity when I say that my heart ACHES after reading posts like this.
For all of you who have said things about being so turned off by supposed Christians hypocritical behavior, God is VERY clear about how he feel about these people.
Wifey, if you ever have questions about God and want to hear from someone who is not a hater, I am always here.
I remember you talking about your Baptist school days before! The thing with your friend, wow, just wow! That is just terrible. That is how many religious folks believe though. God comes before everyone else!!
That is awful. Not all churches would deal with that in the same manner. I wouldn't want to attend one that did.
I did not find comfort in the atheist ideas at all in the beginning. Actually, it scared me when I realized I believed the same way. The thought that everything I had believed in my whole life was not true was very unsettling for me. It wasn't about finding peace for me, it was about finding truth.
Yes, things did get better for my family eventually (thanks for asking). One of the things that solidified my non-belief was the fact I can't believe there is a loving, gracious God that lets human suffering continue. I can look at all the hurt in the world around me every day & that is enough proof for me that there is no God.
I agree. While we are Christians we aren't perfect and never will be.
That is HORRIBLE.
When our minister decided it was time for our family to "heal" and he gave my grandmother (who sexually abused many children in our family) our home address without asking let alone talking to us about it first. My dad was counseling with him at this time regarding this trauma.
She showed up at our house when I was home alone. I had a full blown panic attack at 13, and we had to move again because she is such a scary and abusive woman.
Done. We were so betrayed and done. It's hard to talk about to this day. So done.
Well said
Sorry this happened to your family! ((hugs))
This is a pill to swallow. I won't go into details, but I have had moments like this too as I have had some awful, unimaginable things happen to me.
I could share a little of what I believe, because I feel like the other side doesn't really get a voice. If you don't want to hear than stop reading right here, if you are interested then continue on.
The Bible teaches that God does not cause bad things to happen to good people, but he does allow these things to happen. I believe that this life we are living in is very temporary and only a small fraction of time in perspective with eternity. While we are on this earth we are being tested and should be doing God's work. If God thinks that it is necessary for something to happen, it is next to impossible to understand why. The human mind cannot wrap itself around just how incredible God is.
As an example : When I was a child, I used to be so mad at my mom for making me take my insulin injections, because they hurt, and I would cry and blame her for all of my sufferings. I just couldn't understand that this was for the best in the long run. Little did I know, my mom would go in the other room and cry as well. She didn't want to inflict pain on me, but she knew that I needed it, therefore she had to allow it. God is the same way. He loves all of his children, but he sometimes has to allow things that hurt us, but it all works together for good. We are just have too immature of a mindset to comprehend his big plan. Just like I was too immature as a 6 year old to understand.
this story makes me sad. Jesus is so not cool with that guy.
Thanks tripleas! I know it's buried in there somewhere...I just have to find it!
DH suffered a brain aneurysm when DS was 8 weeks old, and by all medical reasoning, he should not even be here alive right now. But he's made a miraculous recovery and is basically back to normal now! It was 4 months of hell to get him healthy again and I thought God really did have it in for me...but now I know it really was a miracle. There is no other explanation...even the doctors have used the term 'miracle' & think his situation may even be written up in medical journals. So I'm hoping this can be a spring board for me to find faith again!
What I gather from this thread is that many of you were wronged by people in the church or who were supposed to be doing the right thing in the name of God. When, in fact, they were doing the exact opposite.
It really does make me sad to hear these stories as a Christian.
And Libby, yes, the suffering in the world is awful but I see people helping others and serving others and donating their time and money and effort to bettering the world and easing some suffering and it comforts me and affirms my faith in God. So I guess it is really up to perspective and what you want to see and don't want to see ya know?
Every pastor I've had in my life was caught cheating on their wife. True story!
That's really sad! I'm glad your parents realized it before he managed to ruin their marriage!
One of the pastors I speak of was my uncle! Yeah, you heard it right. So embarrassing for my family. He was also caught in the "red light" district when he was married to his second wife (which was the person he got caught cheating on his first wife with).
I was raised Muslim but remember going to services on Friday evening at 3 years old and thinking that it was a nice fairy tale but didn't really believe it. It didnt hurt that my sect of Muslims is not considered real Muslims because we are too liberal, but also because I didnt think that it was right to subjugate women and segregate men and women in schools and at prayers, and that it there was a God he/she wouldn't want that. My feelings on the topic did not change because so few people followed the intent of the Qu'ran because they took much of it literally except for the part where women should be revered and cared for which got twisted into they are too immoral and stupid to take care of themselves. The few Christian churches I visited, including Catholic and Mormon, did not change my mind, I found even more of the same hypocrisy. Because of this, I may believe in a higher power (or many of them) but I do not believe in organized religion which just seems to be manmade.
I do think people should pray the way they are comfortable with and if that means following a certain religion, more power to them. C is going to the same religious services I found to be irrelevant because we had him "baptized" the same type of Muslim. We will let him leave whenever he wants to as he gets older, although we expect a better reason than church classes are stupid, which was my excuse for playing hooky.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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I think people like kirky, Chrissie, t.bird, BK and other Christians in this thread area closer to what a Christian should be than the rest of Christians out there.
I swear some of the biggest jerks I've ever met have been Christians. It's like somehow they figured out that they're going to be saved and go to heaven so why not act like diicks to everyone on the planet.
/rant.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
You know I love you Emily, but we will always have to agree to disagree on this subject. We still have 90210!
Also, I do appreciate the fact that there are good people that help other people in this world. I believe in humanity overall, just not God.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
<a href
A sociology of religion class my freshman year of college.
It made me really see the light that my beliefs in religion were based on what my parents believed, not because I held these beliefs myself.
Oh I wasn't trying to sway you. I respect your opinion. Just showing you show I see it.
I agree with CG about the worst people you've encountered are Christians. I believe it and I've seen it too. For me, as a Christian, it just motivates me to make sure that that is NOT the vibe I am putting out and encourages me to remember what being a Christian is all about. So many "Christians" are not doing a very good job of treating others with respect, loving one another and serving the least of them like Jesus did. I'm not saying I am perfect, but do know that this Christian strives really hard to live that way.
I think I like the way you think. I never ever thought about is this way but that is a very positive point of view and hopefully it is true or else I cant think of a reason that babies/animals/any living being is made to suffer the way they do.
Thanks for sharing.
Any time. I have plenty more where that came from. I'm happy to answer any question =]
I don't think that I ever really believed. I was raised in the Methodist church, at my mother's insistence. My parents made me go to church every Sunday and I had to get confirmed. I have nothing but nice things to say about most of the people in those congregations. The pastor of the church that I attended was an exceptional man! He wasn't pushy at all, very respectful, and he knew that I rejected Christianity. He was a genuinely good person. He told me that he was only in the Methodist church because, to him, it was the most lenient denomination. He professed that to him, Christianity is about a relationship between you and God, no church required. I found that idea very respectable.
That being said, after a lengthy analysis of Christianity (and other religions later on, as I am fascinated by them all), none of it made any logical sense. I understand the whole idea of "faith", but I just don't buy it. Why should I believe in something that lacks any sort of proof? I think that the mind can play a powerful trick on people. If you want to believe so wholeheartedly in something, it will become true in your mind, even if there is no proof. I believe that people who are of religion are under this power.
If it helps someone to become a "better" person, then I'm all for it. For my mother, it's about a sense of community. If someone feels like they need religion to tell them how to behave, or have morals, and they are guided by these morals, then that isn't a bad thing. I have ethics. I'm good for the sake of being good.
The conflict arises when people of religion feel the need to push their views on me. I used to engage in arguments/debates with people of religion but those days are over. It's like talking to a brick wall, for both sides. I will never convince a religious person to be atheist and they will never convince me to believe in religion. I'm firm and happy in my non-belief. I can comfortably say that I don't know what will happen when I die, but I'm pretty certain that it will just be a dreamless sleep. I've always loved to sleep. I know that this life is the only one I have so I'm going to make the most of it by keeping an open mind, learning as much as I can, being kind, and loving those that touch my life.
Thanks!
I love everything you wrote! Very well said!
I didn't grow up with much religion. I knew that, as a family, we believed in God and Jesus, and that Jesus loved me (as per the song). But that was about it. We never went to church or anything.
In high school, my sister and I were invited to church by a neighborhood kid. It turned out to be an ultra-charismatic Assembly of God church. I got saved, and did the whole church thing for years. The church was incredibly overbearing, separated me from my family and demanded all of my time, decided what other churches we visited, what we read, who (and if) we dated, etc. When I finally realized it wasn't right, that people shouldn't be treated that way in church, I was in so deep that it was really hard to leave, like I was losing myself. But, I finally did it, and it was the best thing I ever did.
I went to a new church, and found one I really liked. I was on my way home from a Bible study session one night when I finally let my mind open just enough to admit something to myself. I didn't believe what we had just been studying actually happened. It was like when I allowed myself to have that one thought without pushing it out of my mind, it opened a floodgate. I started to think about all the other stuff I didn't buy. Over the course of several weeks, months, years, it all just kind of went away. And when I think back over all the time I spent praying, pursuing God's presence, pouring my heart out and begging to feel something, ANYTHING that everyone else seemed to, I have to admit that I never felt a thing.
I did have a somewhat traumatic church experience, nothing compared to what some have posted, but I don't think that is what ultimately led to me fully leaving it behind. I think it was just taking a look at what I really believed without fear.